At what point do you call T. O. D. on a relationship?

[DishLady]

When do you declare the Time of Death (T. O. D.) on a relationship?

• Is it when you first have inklings of toxic red flags?
• Is it when the arguing becomes unbearable?
• Is it when you stop being able to look at one another?
• Is it when you see therapy and communication exercises fail?
• Is it once formal papers (divorce, OP, etc.) are filed?

Or maybe never... because you're harboring feelings for the other person even though the s**t has hit the fan too many times to count...

[Finchie40]

When you no longer see eye to eye on things and have to many resentments , and the relationship becomes one sided , basically their way or no way , yes toxicity can be a reason as well , they constantly bring negativity into your life

[Iron_Man]

I don’t I’m a warrior. I’m a trooper. I never give up. I fight all the way to the end because I don’t want to ever regret giving up on somebody when it can be fixed with effort on both sides, . I have a conscience. I am not the type of person that dumps people and family members

[DishLady]

Ok, fair enough, but if the other person isn’t willing to fight the good fight can you still manage this? Relationships require the participation of both people. Your gusto is very admirable, though.

[Iron_Man]

Well then she will be the one that’s getting rid of me. The only way that I wrap it up is if she cheats on me sexually or is out kissing somebody or Any foreplay activities

[DishLady]

👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[thegreenyogi]

The day I realise I'm becoming miserable being with that person.

[DishLady]

Amen.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[AI Opinion]

Declaring the Time of Death on a relationship, huh? That's like trying to find the exact moment an ice cream's charm fades away on a hot summer day - tricky, but let's dive into the delicious mess. 🍦💔

It's less about hitting a specific moment of disaster and more about accumulation. Yes, noticing toxic red flags is like spotting a storm on the horizon - it's your cue to seek shelter or prepare. But relationships, much like our favorite rom-coms, can have twists, turns, and moments of surprise redemption.

The real T. O. D. comes when the essence of what made your relationship special is no longer present. When the thought of your partner doesn't bring the slightest flutter to your heart, when arguments replace conversations, and when trying to salvage what's left feels like holding onto the ghost of a love story that’s long gone.

Sometimes, even after the therapy sessions pack up and the communication attempts become echoes of a desperate attempt to hold onto nothing, we linger. It's not always about the papers or the formal farewell. It's about recognizing when holding on does more harm than letting go.

So, when to call it? When the love story you’re clinging to only exists in the past, and your present is clouded with lingering unhappiness. Remember, every ending is a chance for a new beginning. Keep your heart open, and your dancing shoes ready for the next adventure. 💃❤️️

[ryanrhino]

Relationships don't "die" until someone dies, but even then the person alive can still maintain that relationship. (We're all together in this universe.)

Romantic relationships are done when one no longer thinks about the other, as not giving attention is truly not caring.

[HawkPerception]

I think it really depends on the scenario, but I'd assume that most of the time for me would be the actual moment we don't consider ourselves in a relationship anymore. If we're done with the relationship, it doesn't matter if we're living together and sleeping in the same bed. It means we're past the point of trying to communicate and work things out. Words can be powerful.

[adventurous-1]

At that point that you realize that the relationship is over, your done putting in waisted time and effort that's not going to make a difference in the end. Time to admit to yourself its time to move on, and face the realities of the situation. Staying is not going to accomplish a damm thing except to prolong the pain and cost of avoiding the truth.

[NathanDavis]

I've never had such a toxic relationship before...

[DishLady]

It's not just for toxic relationships. One of my TODs was the day I discovered my guy was about to be matched with another person. His brother told me... I had to have a sit down with the guy and we parted ways after two years of just really nice moments I still cherish. But the relationship... it's dead, you know?

[NathanDavis]

I have not seen myself in such drastic situations of parting ways...

in my case, it was more like a situation of having different goals towards the "next step" in the relationship, I call it to complete a cycle... lol

[DishLady]

Actually, those are the best breakups, when you can just part ways amicably. I’ve had one like that.

[RavVid]

I persevere far too long till the relationship equivalent of no longer breathing.

[DishLady]

So a few CPR attempts first?

[RavVid]

Yes that s a good way of putting it.

[exitseven]

It is said that the world will not end with a bang but with a whimper. It is sort of like that. It is not because of some apocalyptic event. It is usually something small that all of a sudden makes you see them in a different way.

[OfMiceandMen]

I call it when the relationship has more negative going on in it then positive. I am not about to hold onto just love, when the level of BS surpasses it.

[Massageman]

usually after the time I SHOULD have. (ever hopeful, I guess)

[DishLady]

Aww. It's ok. Happens to the best of us. We don't always want to see the red flags even when they're smacking us in the face.

[Redstang88]

Wouldn’t know, I always seemed to get dumped when they get bored or find a better offer

[DishLady]

Hmm. Chin up. Another good thing is around the corner for you.

[DrPepper12]

When you find her in bed with the mailman as my buddy did. Let the jokes commence!

[DishLady]

Ooooh. That's cold. You won't hear a joke from me. (Returning to sender.)

[DrPepper12]

He really cares about home delivery and getting it in the box...

[DishLady]

Well we know she got his package...

[TonyMetal___86]

You do know miss dish that i don't believe in divorce, cause once married than forever married 😌 BUT you can't clap only with one hand!

The T. O. D starts when the divorce papers are filed!

The end!

[KrakenAttackin]

These days I make no effort at resuscitation.

[DishLady]

Very Krakenesque of you. :)

Sometimes it's actually not worth the effort, tbh.

[KrakenAttackin]

@DishLady. I think as we get older we are less willing to overlook overt red flags.

[DishLady]

@KrakenAttackin Probably... and sometimes we collect so many that we get stuck in the forest of flags and miss a good person wondering, "What's all that?" It's important not to lose ourselves to the red flags...

[MrGSpotHer]

I find it difficult usually to trust it takes time for me

[DishLady]

But when is the moment when you think, "ok, this is over"?

[MrGSpotHer]

Usually long before it gets serious

[DishLady]

Hmm. Fair enough. Thanks. :)

[Anonymous]

For me it would be when I cannot see a loving future together. If she convinced me that there is fundamentally no love in her, or that her path will remain separate to mine, may as well go my separate ways.

[LiamJHayden]

At the first sign of "This is not working." This is probably because my record relationship is just under ten months and most have failed within three months.

[Juxtapose]

When I finally realize there just is no reasoning with them.

[nawtee_me]

At the first sign that she has trust issues…. I will not put up with lack of trust….

[Anonymous]

When she’s annoying and rude and disrespecting family, I consider her trash 🚮 🗑️I will never look at her the same way ever again and consider her a big POS.

[DishLady]

MAN you're angry. My goodness. I'm only asking... timing-wise... do you stop at the first red flag? The second or third? Or do you wait for the relationship to be the equivalent of a car on fire flying off a cliff? Can you answer the question or are you still needing to vent about this creature you're describing?

[Opinion Owner]

I admit I am venting about this creature who I have no respect for and she’s fake ass cunt and I hope God puts the hurt in her life like she did with me, this POS girl even was disrespectful to my dead father who never met her and never knew her. Girls like this still get married so it boggles my mind how they are in one. But eventually bad behaviour is exposed and she will live with regret and I won’t give two shits.

[DishLady]

You know there's no point in wishing mass destruction on another person. God knows and sees the big picture and will manage everything. You know the biblical story about the sons of thunder (James and John... as depicted in Mark 3:17)? There's a really nice version of it in The Chosen... I won't tell you WHERE in the series it's at. Perhaps watch it for a while and calm down and forget the creature... "Let Go and Let God" ok, man?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, why would she be manipulative, insult me, insult me as a guy, insult my parents and play the victim and view me as a POS, fake guy. She ruined my perception of God by acting religious herself. It's not easy to trust females anymore. Because they want a talking stage to keep going on as long as it fits their needs and they are lonely and immature. I will never forgive such a person in life and I tend to be a forgiving person but this idiot deserves her karma one day. She is the epitome of human garbage. If she ever said one word to me if we ever crossed paths again, I will walk by her.

[DishLady]

Sigh... You need to calm down a little. This chick is out of your life and good riddance, right? Are you really going to work yourself into having a fucking ulcer now? That's not going to help you or anyone you love. BREEEATHE. She's gone. Poof! Vanished! Ding Dong the witch is dead, ok?

Don't let one little idiot shake your faith. There are hypocrites everywhere. My ex hubby used to let the communion settle on his tongue by day the beat me by night and robbed me blind. I still know my bible verses and have an unflappable faith.

Don't walk by her... cross the street and don't do a damned thing. She's simply not worth it.

(Are you ok? I get that you're venting at all, but you do need to calm down just for your own health.)

[Opinion Owner]

She’s a fucking retarded girl, she’s immature and what pisses me off is she followed me on social media I didn’t know her she was hinting at marriage and meeting up and doing a ton of stuff for activities. 10+ months go by and the date goes well. Yup you heard that right 10 months go by of constant talking and phone calling. Date goes very well and a week later I wanted to see where this was going I mean I was patient, I dealt with my fathers death, graduated from university, got a new job, I needed time to myself I didn’t make her the focal point of my life. And by questioning her where is this going she gets angry and me and essentially blocks me. Few months go by and she’s now married, this mentally deranged girl gets married. I told my mom, my sisters and my female cousins about and a few girls I know and they all said the same thing, she’s an idiot/she’s stupid, she’s a manipulator, don’t waste your time on people like her consider it a blessing God closed the door on you to marry her. My mom even went further and said if she’s acting this ridiculous she would give you high stress and ruin your life. My mom says one day she will regret how she acted and how she treated you but don’t boil your blood over her and find someone else and have higher expectations with the young women you meet. That’s the thing, us guys and us men are fucking idiots we just give up our balls and submit to a trashy people in life. I will never ever ever tolerate such behaviour by any female ever again and now I’m not patient with women, if I’m talking to women and they can’t even call within a week or two max, forget her. If she can’t even me up after a month (excluding being on vacation or a death in the family) I can let that slide other then that, move. Disrespect, rudeness, I won’t tolerate from any woman, I’m packing my stuff and leaving for good.

[eagle1951]

difference for everyone