Husband cheated, any thoughts?

Question

I found out my long distance husband cheated on me with some girl he worked with. He’s now at a different job and while I suspected he was up to something, I looked into his phone. I found a bunch of messages with his friends saying how he and this girl officially broke up. I confronted him about it. We broke up but still talk and I still visit but not as often. Every few weeks. Today we kinda officially officially became “friends”. I know how stupid that sounds but whenever we talk it’s either I seem ok or I’m an upset mess. He finally accepted and stopped trying to get back with me. I ask him how long he was with her and he will not tell me. I feel like I deserve to know given what’s he’s done. But he will not. In my mind I don’t know how to cope. The only thing I’m trying is distracting myself and going out places with my friend. I’m a wreck and it bugs me so much that he won’t tell me how long he cheated for. All advice or suggestions or opinions are welcome. Please tell me what you think.

ItsMarie · Accepted Answer

I think that you have a decision to make here. Either you guys seek marriage counseling and try to fix the damage done, or you guys just call it quits and file for divorce. You should not be “friends” with someone who is YOUR husband. What’s the point of being married if you guys are not living together under the same roof? A marriage means you both get through your problems and figure it out. Also, if you decide to stay with him then you need to accept that he cheated and you are willing to forgive him. You don’t need to know who he cheated with, how long he cheated for and where it was done. If you seek out those answers you’re just going to feel more resentment. We all make mistakes and if he genuinely shows you that he wants to fix the damage he’s done then I think you guys should seek counseling. If he’s still whatever about the situation then I think you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of man you still want to be married to. You deserve nothing but love and peace in your life.

hanabunny · Accepted Answer

I don't know how girls can even look at a guy after he cheats like he would be dead to me lol but I'm sorry you're going through that, it doesn't seem like a good idea to stay friends with him and let's be honest whatever the answer is for how long he cheated or all the details won't make you any happier to find out.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Accepted Answer

Cheating is an extremely devastating experience to endure.  I suggest just talking and venting about it with your friends and late out the process for healing emotionally.

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

Why does it matter how long? You are burying the lead here. Have you filed for divorce?

DishLady · Answer

Yeah, lots of thoughts... mostly rude, though. Skipping ahead... cut this loser out of your life. What are you waiting for?

EmmaMary · Answer

Long Distance Husband... Just what the hell did you ever expect? And if he is indeed "long distance" just how were you able to "look at his phone"?

avery58 · Answer

If you really want to help yourself you'd cut off all contact with him. You should keep hanging out with or talking to your friends for support.

Anonymous · Answer

long distance husband (how? ?) broke up (don't you mean divorce? separate?)  how did you look into his phone if you're long distance? i'm so confused

dazzafromoz · Answer

How do you have a long distance husband and how is that any different to being single and having to wank it off?

Husband cheated, any thoughts?

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