Now wants to fix the relationship?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my ex a month ago. And now he's back after a few weeks, asking for time to fix the relationship, he won't tell me why that specific time and what he needs to do. he claims he will tell me everything and that he wants to fix stuff. He says he needs two weeks.

I went no contact, I left saying its fine that we moved in opposite directions and it happens because he started keeping secrets. But now he's back and wants to "fix things and tell me everything in 2 weeks".

What is your general opinion about this matter, is this legit or just a technique to have people around...

[Oliverlogan263]

Listen, I know you still care about him, but you gotta be careful here. A couple things seem off:

- Why won't he tell you now what he needs to "fix"? That's vague and suspicious.

- Two weeks is a long time to make you wait without any proof he's actually working on things.

- He kept secrets before that broke your trust. Words are cheap - how do you know he won't do that again?

- Seems convenient that now that you're leaving, all of a sudden he wants you back. Could just be about not wanting to lose you.

If I were you, I'd tell him you need more clarity and proof up front before committing to anything. Some ideas:

- Ask him to write down exactly what issues he wants to address.

- See if he's willing to start meeting weekly with a counselor to show he's serious.

- No guarantees you'll get back together. Focus should be on rebuilding trust first.

Please just be careful. You don't want to get hurt again if his heart's not really in the right place this time. Let him do the real work of earning you back before fully believing his words. You deserve someone who treats you right! Keep me posted on what you decide.

[melnc]

Two weeks is way too long for him to show his true intentions. His insistence on coming back and "fixing" things feels shady. Don't waste your time on someone who clearly can’t be trusted. It’s best to cut him off and move on.

[Caroline91]

I don't know how long you went together. But, it sounds to me like he's married.

[Asker]

why do you say this?

[Caroline91]

Partly a gut feeling. As I've said, I don't know how long you have been going together, but the longer it is, the more likely either the wife or girlfriend (or both) is going to find out, Most married men who are stepping outside of their marriage are very secretive about it and go to extremes to keep it from the girlfriend, and wife. I dated a guy for 6 months who was married and I even spent time at his house. His wife had gone back East to visit family and, while she was gone, he removed all of her things and their children't things and put them in storage, then told her she couldn't come back yet. He didn't tell her it was because he met me right after she left for her visit with family. The only reason I found out was that one day when I was at his place, he stepped out and I answered his phone. It was his mother. Regardless of what the reason is, you are being played.

[LiamJHayden]

Do what works for you.