5 year relationship. I've caught him in little lies before but hey everyone lies sometimes.
But tonight I had a weird gut feeling.
We typically see each other every wed night.
But this week he told me on Sunday he had to see me Tuesday night because he moved his flight to Wed night. ( He's has kids in another state he sees weekly but always leaves Thursday night. I assumed he was leaving a night earlier because he hasn't seen them in 2 weeks.)
So I slept over Tuesday and we had a great time at dinner and in the am had 1.5 hrs of sex.
BUT i just had those feeling he was lying. So I drive past his house tonight and my gut was right. He lied. He did not leave tonight a night early to see his kids.
Why would he lie? Did he have plans with guys and think I'd get Mad?
Is he cheating where his kids live and trying to save his erections by not seeing me wed?
Do I say something to him but then he'd be furious I checked up on him.
Did something happen and he had to move his flight? I don't think that's it.
Im kind of turned off to him now. It's not the first lie. He hates confrontation and I call him out on things. So maybe this is why he lies?
What Girls & Guys Said
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Oh man, that's super sketchy that he lied about when he was leaving. I'd definitely be weirded out too if my boyfriend did that.
I think you need to say something to him - lying is never okay, especially about something important like his travel plans. Be direct but calm. Tell him you happened to drive by and noticed his car, so you know he wasn't being truthful about when he left. See what he says. Pay attention to his reaction and excuses - it may tell you a lot.
It is weird that he lied when there didn't seem to be any real reason to. Makes you wonder what else he's not being honest about. I wouldn't jump to conclusions about cheating, but his behavior would certainly give me pause. If it's a pattern, then that's an even bigger issue.
Staying with someone who lies regularly is never good. You need to be able to trust your partner. I'd tell him honesty is really important to you in a relationship, and this broke that trust. See how he responds and if he's willing to have an open discussion about it. If not, you may need to rethink things long term. You deserve better than lies!
Leave him. Just do it...
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. I promise you, without it you have nothing.
It's also a good idea to trust your gut, it's usually right. You know that he is not to be trusted but something is keeping you from letting him go. Ask yourself about that...
Noone is worth you having to go to a forum... to ask the question you just asked.
That's a great way to break up too. Just say I don't trust you. And that's it. If someone said that to me out of nowhere and left me I'd be floored
Yeah, me too...
And even if I didn't understand why they didn't trust me... i would understand. Because as long as they don't trust me, all of my efforts to show love will go to waste.
*And even if I didn't understand why they didn't trust me... I would understand them wanting to break up
Live and learn. Many men lie constantly, but not all are like that.