Going no contact with dismissive avoidant?

[Anonymous]

My ex of 1.5 years and I had a long distance relationship. The distance and no plans to move in together in the near future put a lot of strain on the relationship. Trust, insecurity, were also part of the problem on both sides. It was toxic when we were apart but when we were together it was bliss.

My ex recently blocked me stating that it's the only way to break the toxic cycle we've had. It hurts like hell. He did say that he would leave his email unblocked so that I could contact him there if I needed to.

We've never done longer than 21 days of no contact.

Curious as to why he would leave his email communication open. Also, how does a DA feel once they realize the person they want is really gone?

[Avicenna]

You’ll feel better once time heals

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like your ex is dismissive avoidant, which means he has a tough time with intimacy and likely needs a lot of space and independence. Leaving his email open is probably his way of keeping you at arm's length without fully closing the door.

He blocked you on other platforms to try and break the cycle, as you said, but leaving email shows he still wants some level of control or availability. Even if it's just in case you try to reach out. It keeps you a bit on the hook without fully committing again.

When things are completely cut off, that's when a DA really starts to feel uneasy. Once they realize you're actually giving them the space they asked for and they can no longer dip in and out at will, the feelings can start creeping in. They may begin questioning if they made the right choice since the option is fully off the table now.

It'll probably take him longer than 21 days this time to really understand that you're gone from his life. They have a tendency to think the grass is greener but then start missing the person when they're out of reach. Just try to stay no contact through the email too if you can. Work on moving on, as painful as it is right now. Him blocking you everywhere but one channel isn't really giving either of you what you need to fully heal.