Am I wrong for not wanting to help my abusive ex?

[Anonymous]

my ex who treated me like shit the whole time I was with him, is now asking me for help, a little back story he ruined my life he mashed up my car, sent me to jail, made me lose my job, abused me to the point where I got a concussion, chocked me many times, even kicked me on my head and face.. his excuse is he was drunk the many times he’d put hands on me, or he was stressed due to a case he is fighting in court with his ex before me.

long story short he was found guilty in court for that case, his sentencing is coming soon and he want me to help him by coming to his sentencing court date to speak as a witness, but he caused me so much trauma that I want nothing to do with him, at the same time I feel bad for him.. I don’t know why, but I’m still in my healing journey trying to heal from what he put me through, I think it was so traumatic that my brain is not registering what I went through with him.. can someone please talk some sense into me (sorry for the bad grammar English is not my native language)

[HollyK21]

Please stop allowing this guy to have access to you. After all he’s done he should be blocked from contacting you at every turn (aside from any legal dealings which can be done through the court from what I’ve heard). I know how trauma works and that despite everything there’s still a part of you that feels bad and you want to help, but when you have those moments you need to tap back in to your logical thinking. He is exactly where he needs to be, and is no longer your problem. Sorry not sorry he’s facing what he’s facing, but it’s impossible to feel bad once you read off the list of all he’s done.

[HollyK21]

I don’t know what your support system is like but I would really advise reaching out to the people who genuinely love you and lean on them for support. Consider professional help if you don’t have the tools or don’t know how to navigate this healing process on your own. You need all the distractions, love and support you can get right now. I’m sending you positivity and love as well💛

[Peggee4U]

Dear lady, you already know the answer.

Do not help him, stay as far away from him as you can possibly get. Thank yourself lucky that you have survived despite have a relationship with this lowlife. Now get on and enjoy the rest of your life without him in it.

[Summeroflove]

Nope. Don’t help him he needs to be in jail especially because if you do help him you’re being selfish because he will do it to someone else the justice system is shit as it is.

Don’t help that bastard.

[dudeinohio]

You are correct. Don't help him.

[Wise4myage]

Hell no! Tell him to get lost.