How do you know it’s the right time to give up in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, but when he has financial problems, he changed, becoming more aggressive and rude when talking or becoming do cold like pulling away from me. I tried to help him as much as i can, I don’t mind with it. But sometimes hr refuses to take my money, he said boyfriend should never take girlfriend’s money. But I am tired always understanding him while he going through things like this. I still love him, but i even started to delete some of our pictures together, because I don’t know, seeing those pictures hurt my feelings. I stopped to planning my future with him, because i feel disrespected by how he treats me.

Is this time to give up?

[DishLady]

Your rhythm is off and you can’t tell why. The signals are getting crossed and you can’t tell why. Sex is pestering to a halt and you can’t tell why. Staring at the tv (or even just the ceiling) becomes more intriguing than looking at each other, comforting each other, wanting each other. You’re suddenly TOO BUSY even if you’re not….


Time for space… evaluation…

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

• I am tired always understanding him
• becoming more aggressive and rude
• pulling away from me
• I tried to help him as much as i can
• i even started to delete some of our pictures
• seeing those pictures hurt my feelings
• I stopped to planning my future with him
• i feel disrespected by how he treats me.

I mean... You know, you wrote all this, I'm just making a list out of it.

You describe, one way or another what happens to so many of us when we give up.

It can be a good thing to give up.

It can be the right thing to stop carrying a relationship alone. Because it isn't supposed to be the point of a relationship, unless you want to look at love like a duty. Some people want to treat love as a duty. It is up to you.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you🍀

[lightbulb27]

It be nice if some work and effort was made before pulling the plug and sinking the ship.

You are running into an ego and poor communications. Could be cultural.

People can change under stress and since he is not comfortable with vulnerability, he's a powder keg. Always comes out somewhere, usually on the people closest.

So it's a time of growth as humans. Else the stress will be enough for you, you see no hope, and you cut him loose.

If you can get through this, you'd both be a stronger couple and closer. Never easy, but the work is for him to give in emotionally, not give up.

[2_beHappy]

When it does me more harm than good. For me, choosing to be with someone in a relationship is already an honor for that person, so IT s only natural that relationship should bring me more happiness (of course I m first happy on my own) instead of MORE stress. As for you, If you would like a piece of advice... dump him. If he already started disrepecting you, he s probably going to do more and drain your energy further.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love's rollercoaster! 🎢 My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help you navigate these twists, and it sounds like you're in an emotional loop. Recognizing a shift in a partner's behavior, especially due to stress, is tough. Constant rudeness is a bright red flag 🚩 signaling it might be time to reassess. If you're feeling disrespected and your future visions have faded to black, it could be time to consider moving on. Ask yourself if the love still outweighs the frustration, or if this chapter has simply reached its dramatic conclusion. 💔 Whatever you decide, make sure it's you-centric, ensuring self-love stays front and center! 🌟

[Account]

When they begin attacking you (in any way vocally, physically, emotionally). When you feel drained. When you have prioritized the other person's needs over yours for too long. When there is no reciprocation. When they constantly make you feel so fucking small. When it starts feeling like a battlefield and your nervous system is in a constant fight, flight or freeze mode.

[BadApple69]

So you need to understand that men NEED to be the bread winner and provider (in today’s world that is sill but still true). If we are not doing a good job at that it messes with our reason for being.
What I suggest is you talk to him about ways to make extra money to get out of his bad situation. Maybe a second job. Maybe some ways to reduce spending. You offering to give him money is a slap in the face to a real man. Makes us feel ashamed of ourselves.

[exitseven]

When you are married there is a whole for richer or for poorer. A marriage is a partnership. It is up to the both of you to decide if to is time to walk away. Can you deal with his periods of alienation when he has money problems? Can he treat you like a partner and accept help when he needs it?

[Purpleronnie]

Seems like you already know.


regardless of your feelings for him , the manner in which he would seem to be treating you is adjacent to contempt and in my view that’s unacceptable for friendship let alone a relationship.

[Ironco]

You can do as you wish, but if you truly love this guy you need to first talk to him. Have that hard and difficult conversation. See what his side of the story is, don't judge him. Listen to what he is going through. Don't pail on the situation.

Sadly, it sounds like you are going to not do this and have made up your mind.

I wish you luck, do as you feel is right.

[noohair]

Women make that same mistake over and over. They see a guy and he meets 90% of their dating requirements, but the 10% is a super red flag. They think they just fix the 10%. You can never fix another person, you can fix only yourself. So find a guy where you can tolerate the 10%. With guys, we use the 80/20 rule. So we tolerate 20%.

[rosemilk]

"i stopped planning my future with him"

yeah. it's definitely over. just have to pull the plug now.

[CarolinaCutie5]

You already know the answer to this especially at your age. You're just refusing to accept rejection. He doesn't like u

[MannMitAntworten]

Sounds like you slready have given yp. We are merely confirmation

[Chayce]

When you start asking if it's the right time to give up, it just might be.

[BigSwingingBalls]

maybe when his financial is sorted out he will be ok again

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you

[Anonymous]

i assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out

[WhitneySnow]

This is a good time to end things

[slatyb]

It's been the right time for about three years.

[SotiCoto]

When it isn't enjoyable any more, I'd say.

[Anonymous]

Respect is gone

[cavedweller1973]

When you lose hope