Should I reach out? please HELP?

[Anonymous]

So I was seeing a guy, let’s call him D, and we had a strong connection with some really good moments. But our issues on time weren’t being resolved as quickly as I would have hoped, and it was giving me anxiety. So I ended things over text in a calm, respectful way, wishing him well.

He didn’t respond, but he kept watching my stories on IG and never unfollowed me… until recently, when he finally did.
Now I’m conflicted. Part of me misses the connection we had, and I feel sad about how things ended awkwardly. I’ve even thought about messaging him to say I hoped we could part on good terms.

At the same time, I know I deserve consistency and effort, which I wasn’t really getting back then.

Should I reach out to clear the air, or just leave it alone and focus on moving forward?
I wanted him to know I do hate the way I ended it. But still wish him well?

Updates

8 mo

Update: I messaged regardless of the haters telling me to leave it. We are now back to good terms and planning a date. See? Kindness over hate wins any day!

[aaron13547]

Do what you need to do for yourself. But what do you think it's going to do for him? If I were dude I'd have been watching the Instagram stories because I missed you and didn't understand what I did wrong. I didn't respond to the break up text because it wasn't what I wanted but I could respect what you want. I would have unfriended you for myself because I can't move on to something new thinking about what I did have and messed up. If you reached out to me to say you are sorry and wish things could have been different. I'd get angry because those words don't help me they help you and I have done given all to you to be told its not enough. No I'm not dude So I can't speak for him I don't know what your relationship was like. But in the past when I was in the situation you are with a women I realized the problem wasn't me or her it was just that we both weren't enough for each other and that was OK. Trying to hold onto something not meant for you only causes suffering for both people... its hard to see that in the moment with emotions thou. Good luck and like I said in the beginning do what you need to for yourself. That's all that really matters.

[Asker]

Thank you, for this.
But I have been thinking about it and I do want him back. I maybe should’ve asked for a break not end it but I don't know.

[aaron13547]

He might want you back to... but that last part. Where you said "i don't know". Figure that out first. If you don't know what you want putting what another person also wants into the equation makes it so much more complicated. You got this just listen to your heart. 😉

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right! No one has compared to how we were, I made the choice to walk away. So I should be big enough to check in. I will regret it if I do not at least let him know that I hated the ending and the role I played in it. But how do I suggest that I am willing to try again

[aaron13547]

Love is putting what someone else wants ahead of what you want. Ask what he wants... this is why you need to love yourself first. He might want you to go away. He might want to try again. He might lie just to sleep with you and then disappear. You don't know... but you know what you want. So how would you make the life you want?

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, you ended it. He quietly accepted your decision without protest. Now you want to reopen that relationship you discarded. Why?

• To soothe your own conscience?
• To hear him say he still likes you / cheap validation for your ego?
• To be BFF's / put him in your friend zone as a backup plan?

Why would reopening the can of needy worms that is you be appealing to him or benefit him in any way? Leave the guy alone. If he wanted to reach out he would've. He hasn't.

[Asker]

I know I did! Because of reasons unmentioned!
Of course there is the ego side of things but overall we had a great love together. I will reach out because he needs to know I hated the way I ended it

[OneViewpoint]

He needs to know or you need to soothe your conscience? He didn't ask to know.

[Asker]

Because he assumes that I do. I made that choice I’ve clearly been fine without him showing him I’m ok with it

[seeyounexttuesday]

Take the L and move on.

[Asker]

I think we’ve both tried that. But we clearly are still in each others mind

[seeyounexttuesday]

then you haven't moved on

[Asker]

Exactly, I mean I believe we have both tried talking to other people but since I’m the one who walked away. I need to walk back and check in. If he refuses me then at least I know

[FateofOphelia]

Do what you need to do

[In_Trance]

Move on