Should I reach out?

[Anonymous]

Ik ik but hear me out. It’s been almost two years since I’ve spoken to him. I literally can’t get him off my mind for long. And it’s not in a I think he secretly wants me to reach out way. It’s in a I don't know way. I don't know what I’m expecting or what may happen but I just want to talk to him. Be close in a way even if it is platonic. He was my first. And I want to move on with my dignity but I don't know why I can’t. I don’t want it or be a situation where I’m looming over someone that never reciprocated this though but I really want to try. I haven’t in like almost two years. I did at the very beginning but even that was like a couple months after our no contact biz. I don't know should I? It’s probably no. And I’m that by what do you think? What’s gonna make it go away if I don’t?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's a tough situation. On one hand, I get why you'd wanna reach out after thinking about this dude for so long. Closure can be nice sometimes. But from what you're saying, it doesn't really sound like he was that into you back when you were talking before.

Reaching out now after 2 years might just end up upsetting you more if he's not receptive or doesn't feel the same way. And trying to be "friends" when you still have feelings probably won't help you move on either. You deserve to be with someone who's really excited to talk to you too, you know?

I'd say maybe give it a bit more time. Keep yourself busy with other friends, hobbies, working out - whatever helps keep your mind off him. If you still feel the same way in another few months, then maybe a short message wouldn't hurt. But for now, protecting your own feelings is important. He had his chance and didn't take it. As hard as it is, trying to force something that's not there usually just drags things out. You got this - stay strong!

[cjtron]

Why did you seperated in the first place, he won't change, Im sorry, it sounds like you need to let go and open yourself to a better person that will respect you and cherrish you the way you deserve to feel loved back. Don't settle for one way love, it never ends well, even if you wish its platonic only... You and this person had their prime and it didn't work, try to find someone worth your time, dont waste it.

You sound like you want more than a platonic relationship, then what are you doing? Stop, forget him and dont let your ex in again. its history, there's someone else waiting who will appreciate you more

[bededazzle]

well, if you try and it goes badly i suppose that could give you more closure

[Asker]

Maybe ima hopeless romantic person and feel things intensely so it hasn’t been easy letting things go

[bededazzle]

i can understand, but if you waste your time pining for someone who’s not into you, you might miss someone actually good for you. i’m not judging you, but i imagine you are idealizing this person and being a bit irrational. if you are a deep lover, maybe you will never fully let go. but if you want peace, you will have to let go of fantasy and commit to moving on.

[Tharithi]

What do u want

[Asker]

I just want to talk to him I don't know. I just feel weird about someone who represented something so important in my life never seeing or speaking to me again

[Tharithi]

What they represented

[Asker]

He was my first and I don't know if I would say he is my first love but he is someone that represents something close to that

[Tharithi]

Why u love them? Why u left them