Has your ex's boss/colleague ever hit on you?

[DishLady]

Hi Guys and Gals,

Twice now an ex's boss has reached out to mention "the guy was an idiot" and asked me to connect after work or on a weekend. I don't take these guys up on it bc to me it's just looking for trouble or drama, which I don't like.

Recently, though, one colleague who consults with a guy who was trying to start something with me reached out to invite me to something he's hosting in the coming month. I've been hesitating, but there's also no reason not to accept... it's legit, it's professional networking, and it's right up my alley. I'm leaning towards going, especially since he's a nice, above-board guy, respectful, etc. He's not "trying anything"... it's just an invitation to collab.

Have you ever been in this sort of situation? What would you do?

[OlderAndWiser]

I would assess every situation for the potential for drama and only choose the safe opportunities.

[DishLady]

Technically nothing bad would happen to ME by going out with these guys, but I've never wanted to risk my ex's livelihood (not that he's offered me the same courtesy). So now this fellow comes around and tbh there's nothing roguish about his invite... it's professional... there's a VERY MARGINAL chance the guy I was seeing would randomly show up, but he probably won't. It's safe enough in my opinion.

[Clyde_123]

Yes my two of my ex married coworker hit on me
Then recently my married boss always give me a ride home and always ask me personal questions if I already have a boyfriend? Who is my crush at work? Who is the most handsome at work? And if I find Nicole cute (Nicole was my male crush coworker) Like I thought its weird lol

[WhitneySnow]

Thankfully that’s never happened to me. But I do think the thing with your ex’s colleague is legit.

[DishLady]

Agreed. I'm tentatively taking him up on his offer. If I sense anything shady is about to be said/done I'll respectfully withdraw.

[HawkPerception]

Haha I'm not attractive enough of a dude to be desired like that or find myself in that scenario. But I say if there's no reason for you not to go, then go!

[queenofcardio]

I would go. Seems legit

I've had coworkers hit on me but never a boss.

[spartan55]

This is a very specific question about a very rare scenario. Hmmm... can't say I've ever even known an exes boss. Nor been hit on by one. This sounds on brand though.

[DishLady]

Spouses always have to go to business dinners and receptions… so I very vaguely knew a few people from his circle and he knew a few people from mine. The flirting was uncomfortable for me and ofc I would never flirt back.

But this invite’s legit. (I looked it up.) The connection is because of the guy I was seeing but not dependent on it and also not impacting the guy’s job (or mine) at all.

[spartan55]

So what's the issue?

[DishLady]

I don't know. I'm just squeamish about using any connection that's at all associated with the ex.

[worldscolide]

I had a supervisor hit on me at my prior company.. And then when I rejected her, I was fired.

[uzumymw]

Can't say I've ever let an ex's coworker or boss near me enough for them to ask me anything

[White_Stain00]

Nope.