Finally stopped chasing this girl, but disappointed she doesn't care

[Anonymous]

I chased this girl for several months and then spent the next couple years draining emotional and mental energy into her even though she was gone. Now she's around again and the first couple times I saw her I went up to her and talked to her. But then I realized all I'm doing is enabling myself to relive the nightmare, so I forced myself to stop, because I realized I was the one who was making all the effort to talk to her, always came up to her, and I thought...why can't she come up to me for a change?

So since then I haven't really talked to her and have been talking to other people. I've been doing this for a few weeks now and, don't get me wrong, I feel so much better. I don't feel as invested, I talked to other girls, even got some other girl's number (clumsy though I did it...at least it's a start). But the girl I chased is so stunningly beautiful that she never has a shortage of guys around her...a couple times I'll look over to her and some guy is chatting her up, making her laugh, and she's made no effort to talk to me. I know the whole point of this was to get over her, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed. Maybe it'll take some more time?

[Elephants]

Ahh I'm sorry. I felt that way about a boy too but we have cared about each other so it hurt that much more. What you are doing is absolutely right, you are very insightful and so like you said, give it time, and realize that of she doesn't like you then it's not meant to be. That's what I have to tell myself right now, boyfriend of 3 years is showing signs of not loving me anymore. So I'm going to have to let him go for my sake and his. It is really hard because I have NEVER loved someone sso much, I'm not wven sure if I've ever loved someone else period. He's a popular talented guy and girls literally aroun the world love him becuase hea a pianist and shows his work on YouTube. It sickens me to think of him leaving me behind and being without him. but my point is, if I can do it you can too! Good luck, you seem like a great guy, you'll find someone someday. Maybe if you stop worrying about it completely she'll find you or you'll find each other unexpectedly. That's how it happened for me. I always get hit on when I am not looking for anything or spacing out... Apparently a glazed over look is attractive maybe try that ;)

[Anonymous]

The girl doesn't like you. You have to let it go. Like someone else said, you can't make someone care. And besides, why would you want to make her care anyway? It should be voluntary, on purpose, not forced. She's not a bad person because she doesn't like you and you're not unattractive or bad because of the same fact. Some things are not meant to be, no matter how much we want them to. I suggest you just cut off all contact with her and forget about her. it's the easiest way to move on.

[Asker]

yeah, I cut off all contact, only problem is she's in my classes so I still have to see her and these other guys.

[tracyrootsrock]

All I can say is that it's a strange but normal response. Think of it this way: You can't make someone care about you. Besides, why do you want to be w/a girl that doesn't treat you w/respect? Find a cute, and more importantly, kind goodhearted girl. Take a look around they're everywhere.

[martyfellow]

Make it a poin to NEVER EVER approach her..so long as she can count on you to chase her, she won't think about you and won't ever approach you, that's for sure. Of course, she may never approach even if you stop coming up to her, but you'll never know that for sure unless you try, and in the meantime,a s you say, you'll feel better, have more energy for other girls, and generally be in a better frame of mind, and be able to handle the situation if she DOES seek you out.

I mean, don't deliberately ignore her, but just wave, from a distance...

[Asker]

yeah, for the past couple weeks, that's what I've been doing. It's freeing, but it's also frustrating that she doesn't seem to give the slightest sh*t.

[martyfellow]

Well, hey, now you know that for sure..although a couple of weeks doesn't absolutely prove that, since she has a lot of guys nuzzling up to her...she still might get bored with them at some point and get curious about why you're not enslaved by her any more.

[Camilus]

"I chased this girl for several months and then spent the next couple years draining emotional and mental energy into her even though she was gone"

Dude ...stop putting the p**** on a pedestal.

[Asker]

yeah, I know that now, which is why I stopped.

[nermalinda]

I think it's normal to feel disappointed over something like that. Just accept it, and keep enjoying your life, and yeah, over time, you won't really care much.

[Moloch]

No more time. That is enough with the one girl already. Move on with your life, she obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about her.

[Anonymous]

it's very hard when our affections are not returned, the best thing is to stay away from the person. good luck.

[Misty_04]

Let go, she doesn't care.