What constitutes as physical cheating?

[forever_broken]

I would like to know, in your honest opinion, what constitutes as PHYSICAL cheating, not emotional cheating, just plain physical cheating.

What I mean by this is, if you were in a relationship and you or your significant other decided to cheat, what is it that you have to physical do for it to be considered cheating? Or what is it that your boyfriend/girlfriend does that you would say, you cheated on me, we're done.

Some people have told me that it isn't cheating unless you have sex with another person. Others have told me that the second you touch another person it's considered cheating.

Again, I mean physical cheating, not emotional cheating. (Emotional cheating is more so being really flirty with another person to where you start developing feelings for this other person even when you're in a relationship)

So, do you consider it cheating as soon as they hold hands? Kiss? Only have sex? Or is it something else?

I don't want to repeat myself, but I'm just trying to make my meaning as clear as possible. Do you think it's cheating the second they hold hands? Or is holding hands okay, but as soon as they kiss THAT'S when it's considered cheating? Or do you only think it's cheating when they have sex?

I'm just curious to know what everyone thinks.

Holding Hands

Hugging or Cuddling

Kissing

Oral Sex

Sex

Updates

+1 y

Just to make something clear- I am only wondering because I have been cheated on multiple times (I myself have never cheated nor will I ever) but I just want to know what everyone thinks because I was always given different answers from my exes.

[ObscuredBeyond]

If you're thinking about each other that way, it's emotional infidelity. When you do anything physical to celebrate that emotional goal, it's physical infidelity. It could even be a glance; a code language of stares. That too could count as physical infidelity, if the cheated-on figures out the code.

When it gets to hugging or cuddling, you need to cool the flames down FAST. Because it won't be long before it escalates to the other things. And don't fool yourself: if it gets to that point, it WILL escalate.

When it gets to kissing, you're unfaithful even by Hollywood's extremely low standards. Think Spider-Man 3, where everyone immediately hated Dunst's Mary Jane the moment she smooched James Franco's Harry. Yeah, it was revenge for Tobey's Spidey being a douche; but it felt worse because she meant to do it to harm.

When it gets to sex, the time has come to genuinely start sorting out your priorities. Because at that point, you're pretty much viewed as scum of the earth. And while I am not a huge fan of the idea of oral sex to begin with; to use it as a means of cheating indicates to me someone who's just plain sick.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Anything you do that's normally intimately done with a person you love and doing it with another without the other person's approval or knowing. So even holding hands can be considered cheating. All of that can be. Especially C to E.

If you think it isn't, then you're just being a selfish douche/bitch.When you're in a relationship it might be your life, but that doesn't mean you get to freely do what you want with others, even something so small as holding hands, knowing or approval without being considered a cheater or some negative ramifications.

[forever_broken]

Yes I agree. I should have cleared something up...This is not for me as far as justifying cheating. I have never cheated nor will I ever cheat. I was cheated on by every boyfriend I ever had, and when I would ask why they cheated, they all gave different answers as to what they "really" did to cheat. One ex told me he held the girl's hand "because he didn't want to lose her in the crowd" when there was no crowd around them. He ended up having sex with her later.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

You've had bad luck :\ curious, how many guys have you been with?

[forever_broken]

As far as how many boyfriends I have had...4. And they've all cheated on me.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Wow :\ what kinda guys do you keep going for?

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Also, amusing how men say even holding hands is cheating but women only consider cheating or more. And people really think men cheat more.. lol.

[forever_broken]

Lol I went for guys who I thought were good. I was obviously wrong though. Any guy can end up being a cheater just like any girl can.

I also find that amusing. But I would consider holding hands cheating.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I wonder though, what attracted you to them? Was there anything common between them? I've, tbh, found most that end up with cheaters were with them cause it was more the physical that attracted them.

[forever_broken]

Oh hell no, honestly if you saw the guys I was with you'd be like really? My friends always give me crap about how my exes look because they were definitely not your attractive Joe blow. I don't judge people on how they look. I know, typical girl answer, but I am dead serious. People cheat. Ugly, fat, handsome, pretty, intelligent, old, young - any person can cheat. But to answer your question, what attracted me to them? It's hard to say because each one was so different.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

That's interesting. And it's good you don't care about the appearances. Your shallow friends need to mature a bit. And ya, lots cheat, but I just wondered if there was some common thing between your exes that might be something that can be avoided or I dunno.. it's just bs.

I do wonder, were you sexual with them? That doesn't excuse their behavior, but many weak guys are like that :\ if they have a girlfriend not sexual they look elsewhere (and they suck for that)

[LISGUERN]

It's definitely up there with the worst feelings you can experience. My advice to anyone who suspects that their partner is cheating is to be smart about it. Most guys let their emotions take over and make stupid decisions. Remember, you're not the first person this has happened to. I highly recommend checking out LORDHACK242 (at) gmail (dot) COM to help you out when you find yourself in this state. He can get you the peace of mind you deserve!!

[witherwing]

Kissing is the line for me. I don't see hugging or holding hands as cheating since friends and family do that. Holding hands with people is pretty weird, but I wouldn't consider it cheating.

[Anonymous]

If their intention is wrong, then it’s already cheating.

[Prof_Don]

The definition varies from person to person. That is why these things have to be discussed. It's amazing how many people lapse on talking about this stuff out of fear or awkwardness.

I voted "A"...cauz I wouldn't want my girlfriend to hold hands in an intimate way with some other dude (or anything else below that).

[forever_broken]

I totally agree with you. When you are in a relationship you both have to discuss what is crossing the line as soon as possible, but a lot of people do avoid it because it's awkward or they just assume that their significant other should just know.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

I like your response. I haven't ever discussed what defines cheating from my gf's perspective. That is now on my to do list

[PHILR]

seeing as this posting is 11 months old this answer probably is mote butr will post anyways.

any forms of physical touching could be considered cheating. yes even cuddling could be .

kissing other than on the cheek. fondling of any manner or type.

the test would be to ask the perpentrator of physical cheating if they'd be comfortable or all right if the situation was reversed.. if answer is a NO you have your answer. if answer is YES in any form (maybe , or the like) get shed of them they are not for you.

[TayeDiggstwin]

Context matters. If they have put themselves in a situation where they are touching someone they're physically or emotionally attracted to then they're cheating. Cheating covers much more ground than penetration, oral, watching/being watched, etc. Cheating is the betrayal of the others trust so it's important to discuss what your deal breakers and boundaries are ahead of time.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

I chose A because I don't want my girlfriend to be allowed to be in any situation where she could be led on by another. Obviously a situation could arise that would deem it necessary for someone else to hold her hand but that's not the point of your questiom

[Anonymous]

Having relations with the opposite sex is important for us all. It really comes down to what your partner considers cheating. - If my partner had sex with another guy, that is when I would consider her cheating on me - Unless we agreed to be in a open relationship first.

[Anonymous]

From you list, cuddling and everything below it. I think it's a little odd to say there was nothing going on if you're doing that because I don't see just any two people doing that together and of course, as you've said, this is only physical part of it.

[any_one]

A kiss is more intimate then all of them altogether. holding hands is OK. If u let someone hug you that is weird, but if u kiss someone then u crossed the line. end of convo.

[smilelots]

Like I said before if you can't tell your partner what you did or were going to do with said person its cheating,, kissing holding hands touching, a hug is not cheating unless it leads to some other pleasure. that you can't tell your partner about.

[bleeeep]

If you or your partner are at a point where it may cross into something physical, you've already cheated (aka broken the trust) in the relationship.

[jmr2191]

Anything you wouldn't do with Your friends that could be defined as sexual (I.e. kissing on lips or forehead, feeling one another up, etc)

[Konnour]

Holding hands and cuddling are more emotional cheating, from kissing to oral and sex it counts as complete physical cheating.

[snowangle]

Hugging is safe in my opinion, cuddling is a grey area, and kissing is over the line.

[AFellowWeeb]

the way u putted is kinda weird, bc u placed ''hugging'' and ''cuddling'' toghether, like, i can hug my friends, including male ones, doesn't mean im cheating, but cuddling on the other hand, makes sense

[BS123456]

Anything that you yourself know's your partner would not condone is disrespectful and wrong.

[Dragonpurple]

Anything physical is cheating to me, even holding hands.

[AlexMcDy]

That would be cheating for me. Cuddling is intimate. Intimate is cheating.

[Bluegameroyon]

I think holding hands is a very, very mild form of cheating because it shows trust and a little bit of affection to the person.

[TheBattMan]

My line is kissing unless there's a ridiculous circumstance (like acting or something).

[AlexDeLarge]

Kissing is a red flag for sure and oral is the deal breaker. She doesn't even have to go as far as having sex

[AlexDeLarge]

Now that I think of it kissing would be a deal breaker too

[Anonymous]

Yes, I consider that holding hands and rest of things as cheating.