Ex girlfriend "checked out" pretty much toward the end of our relationship? This happen to anyone?

My ex girlfriend. (2 weeks ago) and I broke up. I tried very hard to make it work but it came down to her saying it wasn't the same. It wasn't as comfortable as it used to be.

When girls say these things it sounds like she was just backing out of the relationship and letting it die slowly.

We had had issues with the sex not being good then things kind of being awkward because issues weren't getting fixed.

I had hoped having no contact for two weeks maybe she would miss me and want to get back, but I'm starting to believe that's not the case.

I have been having a great time and she's seen it/knows it. Her friend said hi to me at the gym and I said hi to both of them and she looked pretty uncomfortable. But she asked one of our mutual friends how I was doing.

Anyone with an experience similar to this can shed some light on the situation?


Most Helpful Girl

  • A couple of years ago, "backing out of the relationship and letting it die" was pretty much exactly what I was doing with my ex. There came a point in our relationship when I realized that he wasn't really who I wanted to be spending the rest of my life with, and so I kind of just let go preemptively and resigned myself to the breakup (although in my case it was him who finally broke up with me).

    Honestly, I was so bored of the relationship that I was looking forward to being single again and starting a new chapter in my life. Thank you for not contacting her or otherwise pushing yourself in her face like my ex did, because with a reason like that for a breakup odds are decent that she's been over you for a while now.

    I was friends with my ex and thought he was a decent guy, so of course I wanted confirmation from my friends that he was doing okay. That part doesn't surprise me at all. Her looking uncomfortable upon running into you at the gym also doesn't surprise me - I feel awkward around all my exes, regardless of the circumstances in which we broke up.

    • I see what you mean. It was just weird because a week before we broke up, she broke down emotionally and opened up to me, which never ever happens with her. We both said we loved each other for the first time. So I thought maybe it just scared her that she was vulnerable. But It's hard for me to accept that she's done with it. She cut communication just like I did, but I still can't understand why she did this

    • same thing happened with my ex. When emotionally immature women like that get into a vulnerable state they push away for better or worse. if they can't just talk to you like an adult about things then its not worth it

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What Girls Said 1

  • I've never personally experienced the "let it die slowly" scenario, but I know many people who have. So yes, it happens a lot.

    Some relationships just don't work out long-term. For certain people it's just easier to "check out" than come to terms w/the fact that it's not going to work. Life may be filled with other things that take precedence over the breakup (in some peoples' minds). Breakups are a big inconvenience, everyone knows that. It's not in most peoples' nature to tackle breakups at the optimal time (when you know it's not going to work) because they've become too emotionally involved (& the fallout is a b*tch). That's why letting it die is such a common solution.


What Guys Said 2

  • This is actually what I do when I realize that I want out of a relationship. It gives the person a little time to realize something is probably up, and you don't blindside them. I've found that it's more humane than just to abruptly dump.

  • Two weeks isn't enough time for a policy of no contact to have any effect on her.

    But you're doing the right thing, in letting her see that you're out there having fun and aren't bothered by the break up.


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