What can I do to be less jealous of my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I get jealous if one of his ex's likes his picture on Facebook,if he talk to a girl he was with or had 'something' with more than friends. Sometimes I even get jealous when one of his friends talks to him while we're out and she's single and pretty. We've been together for over one year... I was not jealous in the very beginning of our relationship I only became so jealous later on but sometimes I feel that my jealousy could break us up. I've tried many times to convince myself not to be jealous but I keep blaming his long history of being with many different girls and having lots of ex's to be the reason why I'm jealous. I am a bit insecure of myself, I am. But this is actually my first ever relationship whilst (although the most serious and longest one for him as he said it himself), it's not his first. I love him and I want to be with him forever cause I'm sure he's the one. But I can't get myself to stop being jealous. What should I do? How do you make yourself less jealous? :/

[That-Guy]

it's okay to be jealous, people that say it's due to insecurity and immaturity are ridiculous.

Jealousy can be defined as an emotion that arises when something or someone causes you to believe to decrease the value or a friendship or relationship. Everyone's threshold on jealousy is different. For example I could careless if guys flirt with my girlfriend because I know that it's going to happen and there's nothing I could do about it. I also know that if I were single, I'd flirt with anyone (in or out of a relationship).

However... if she sees a girl talking to me, she will hurry over and hold my hand to single "back off."

The best thing to do about jealousy is to talk about it. "hey, when this happens, I feel threaten and would like it if you could do this."

[KERMlT]

Jealousy is an immature emotion that should fade with time. Just be more confident in yourself and hopefully you will overcome this feeling.

[Anonymous]

I'm a jealous person too, but I try to keep that to myself as much as possible. When I'd love to scream I'll just smile. Jealousy is OK, and a certain amount is even healthy, as long as you process it properly. By that I mean, no lashing out, making hasty decisions or saying hurtful things because of what you are feeling. You need to internalize it, relax and realize that you trust him and that those other girls really don't matter if he's coming home to you. I disagree with the male poster, jealousy is not immature. The immature part comes in when it is handled improperly. Yes, you are right, jealousy could kill your relationship. He won't think it's cute, and if he can't keep you happy he won't want to stay with you.

[Asker]

But I don't get it..it doesn't make sense if you love someone why would you not want to be with them anymore? I mean even if you think the other person is unhappy, unless they say something you can't really be sure of it right? So what's the point?

[Opinion Owner]

A guy that loves you wants to make you happy. If he can't make you happy, he's not happy. If you're both sad in love, what's the point of THAT? Plus if you're letting those jealous feelings control how you conduct yourself in your relationship, then you aren't fun to be around, aren't making him happy or giving him peace. Those are things he needs from a relationship ...

[Asker]

Very wise words thanks for your help :)

[Asianchick100]

What has helped me is telling my boyfriend to be open about if he thinks a girl is attractive. Be open in discussing about what makes her attractive vs not. It normalizes it. The more you do that, the more you’ll realize that finding other people attractive while in a relationship is perfectly natural and doesn’t go beyond that.