I told my boyfriend I don't trust him, why didn't he care?

The other day I sent my boyfriend a Facebook text explaining to him how I do not trust him, he never replied. Yesterday we were taking a walk and I brought it up again, and he asked me what has he done that made me not trust him. I told him he hasn't done anything major but I have this bad feeling, that I shouldn't trust him.

He just didn't seem to care, he changed the subject right away. Why did he react like this?

This is my second relationship and the first one ended badly cause my ex used to repeatedly flirt with girls on FB and just wouldn't stop despite me telling him how he was hurting me, so I had to end things. I trusted this guy with all my being and he hurt me really bad.

Now, my current boy used to flirt with my friend's sister, has a female friend whom he was pretty close to prior our relationship, and during the start of our relationship, his friend had come to see him and I was with him and I told him I wanted to go to my room (we live in the same Residence at Varsity)...he accompanied me to my room and his friend had been waiting for about 10 minutes for him so she was kinda mad and as I was walking to my room I was him touch her face, apologising for taking too long to fetch her. Lol I did not like what I saw and I told him about that and he told me his friend is like a sister to him.

Another thing, he is very touchy with my girlfriends, my girlfriends, just the other day my friend was over with this other guy friend of ours, we were all sitting and he started to play with my friend's hand, cracking her knuckles and I got really angry inside. I confronted him about it and he said he likes doing that to her cause he knows she hates it. I told him I don't like it, he said he wouldn't do it again.

Now I am really confused, am I a jealous freak as a result of my past relationship or would a normal person not trust their partner because of the events I have highlighted above?

Sorry for the long text.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It just sounds like your boyfriend is playful and maybe a little flirty by nature, but not to the point where questions of infidelity might be raised. I'd say, give this guy the benefit of the doubt until he gives you a legit reason to distrust him! And don't forget, he is with you because out of every single girl he knows, he thinks you're the best and most amazing and he loves you! If he wanted to be with one of those girls, then he would. So don't doubt yourself either! Be confident in yourself and your relationship, and though it may be hard, try to put your jealousy aside! Best of luck!:)

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    • Thank you a lot, I will try that. I wish I had never been heart broken before, it would make things a lot easier if had not spent everyday of three months crying myself to sleep at night cause of a badly hurt heart, I have healed but I think I'm also scared that he might do the same thing my first boyfriend did. I don't know, maybe I'm just not mentally in a good state to be dating, but I love my boyfriend so much, I just wish I trusted him.

    • No problem, I hope it works for you! Aw yeah I understand, we kind of put up walls after getting hurt, but you say you love him, and if you know he loves you, then you can trust him, because someone who truly loves you would never want to hurt you in anyway at all, like the last guy did. Good luck!:)

    • Thanks again.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Past experience being brought into a new relationship is called baggage and no guy likes that. Until this sleeps with another girl, or the equivalent of whatever you consider to be cheating you really don't have any reason not to trust him and right now I would say it makes you look like a jealous freak.

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    • :(

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    • Thats up to you, but I don't really think he's given you a reason not to. Honestly you sound paranoid.

    • Ohk, Thanks for your answer

  • Your boyfriend has good game, that's why he doesn't care.

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    • Could you please explain what you mean, I don't understand.

    • What else good response was there? You told him you don't trust him. He took it in stride and kept moving. Should he stop and try to persuade you it's fine? That would serve no point. Should he act sorry and say he'll earn your trust? That's not a move that wins girls. You don't trust him. Okay. Life moves on. There was no reason for him to make a bigger deal about it.

    • Wow.

What Girls Said 1

  • He does not listen when you talk? Find someone that does. I think he is being selfish and disrespectful. Even if we are times imperfect, or insecure, a person who is kind will find ways to show you that he is trustworthy. To me it means this guy is all about himself. Stop talking, pull back and see what he does. It's worth the risk to lose him if he is selfish.

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    • He really didn't seem concern when I told him, he immediately talked about something else and we never talked it. So do you think I am being unreasonable in feeling the way I do about him?(not trusting him). I think the answer that the other guy gave me is somewhat correct, and I think I should try and put my past behind, but it's really hard cause I gave my first boyfriend all of my heart and trust and he never cared, so I'm scared of doing that with my boyfriend now.

    • Yes but if you NEED reassurance from the current boyfriend but he's too self centered to give what you need, think about it, think about the future - will he always be this way? Can you live with your needs being unmet? Why should you?

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