Questions: Break Up & Divorce

I started to see someone, (we've seen each other for 3 months). His life was getting very stressful, work demands, and a challenging negotiation over finances with his ex. He felt guilty for not giving me what I "deserve" and said he has no emotional reserves to deal with a relationship. He said he needed to get through February. He said if we are meant to be together we will be, said he won't be dating. Off and on he's said he doesn't want me to go away but also says he doesn't expect me to wait. He has a lot of great qualities that I would like in a long term relationship. I feel confused about whether he will get a hold of me in the near future and wonder if I should move on. Thoughts? I do believe he has a stressful life, it's not BS to get out of seeing me. But I also feel swept off my feet and dropped on my head. While I want to have compassion, I tend to put my needs last. At the same time, he's a super guy.. or am I kidding myself? PS I'm over 50 years old.

Even though both are after all the end of a marriage, they are different. Which would you say it's worse?

- Undergoing a divorce with kids involved (either a bitter one, you got cheated on, etc, after all that investment

- You were happily married, love each other, had kids and suddenly your wife/husband got killed either by a terminal disease or an accident (auto accident, in an explosion, etc)

Let's say your ex whom you dated for 5+ years, was in a life threatening accident. Because of the recency of your break-up, you are still on their emergency contact list. The hospital calls you to come in and answer some medical questions because the family cannot be reached. What do you do?

dumper is currently the one initiating all contact