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10 Tips For Dating A Feminist (Page 3)
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1. pay for the bill 2. be a gentleman
will she hold the door for me?
will she pull out my chair?
will she hit me if I cheat of her?
will she offer to go dutch?
if not - then not a true feminist. Just someone on the feminist train trying to make their lives easier
Awesome take!! Feminism is quite embattled lately. The radical feminists make people think its a crazy, man-hating movement. I believe in equality of the sexes and would definitely date a girl who believes the same. Thanks for taking the timefto put this together! :-D
Equivocating pussy...
This list only applies to the women who let the feminist label define them. In my opinion they're the ones to be wary of, and this list proves it. Why do they need some kind of special treatment?
Rule #1 for dating a feminist is, don't.
Feminists will tell you that they're simply fighting for equal rights, but this means by corollary that they view men as their enemies. They won't tell you this outright, but be assured that they feel it at some level.
Step 11
Don't do it. She'll criticize you for trying to be a gentleman all in the name of "equality".
Tried doing it, couldn't do it, won't do it again.
Chivalry is dead and feminism killed it
I'll pass thanks. I want a down to earth girl that I can laugh, play and have fun with. This article has made me realise how much I adore my wife. Please stay far away from me feministssssssss...
If a girl says, "I hope you like feminist rants because that's kind of my thing," I'll run the other way. Lol.
To all the men here saying they wouldn't date a feminist;
Do you agree that women are equal human beings? Do you agree that women should have the right to vote, earn equal pay and have the right to voice their opinions? Do you agree that a woman's worth is not based purely on her physical attractiveness alone?
If so, congratulations. You are a feminist.
I was on board until your last line. Don't force titles on people it's only going to make them resent you.
Do you agree that women are equal human beings?
No. The sexes have clear differences - not only on a physical basis (i. E. the female brain communicates it's data mostly horizontal while the male brain does it mostly vertical). It does not even make sense that the sexes are equal. Neither on a religious view nor on the evolutionary view (else we would be hermaphrodites).
Additionally people are not equal. Even if the sexes were, saying people are equal would undermine any individuality.
Do you agree that women should have the right to vote?
While I do think the entire voting-system and democracy needs a workover as it has a lot flaws - yes, everyone capable should be able to vote.
Do you agree that women should earn equal pay?
No. You get paid depending on several economical factors. Women choose less paying jobfields, work less overhours, change jobs more often and have other factors involved why they earn less. It's their choices and not discrimination. Welcome to the free market.
Do you agree women have the right to voice their opinions?
Yes. And so should I. Just like you want your choice of opinions have respected, so I want you to do the same to me. If I don't want to date a feminist for various reasons, it's my right to choose and state my choice. Independent of others liking or agreeing with it.
Do you agree that a woman's worth is not based purely on her physical attractiveness alone?
That depends on your definition of worth. Do you talk about objective, biologicla and/or sexual worth? Or do you talk about ethical worth?
To give you an example: Objectively and biologically a cripple is worth less than a healthy person. Ethically they are worth the same. (And before you get any stupid ideas: I am not comparing women with cripples).
And now to give you a few counter questions:
Do you agree, that people should be able to choose with which groups they affiliate?
Do you agree, that people should be allowed to have their own and individual preferences?
Do you agree, that actions speak louder than words?
Do you agree, that people are different?
Do you agree, that things are not black and white, but that in almost every topic in life (aside from maths) there are greytones?
Do you agree, that manipulating others in order to gain advantages is bad?
If so, then stop pushing your agenda down my throat and let me have my own opinions without trying to manipulate my point of view with trying to guilt-trip me. Not being a feminists / disagreeing with it does not equal wanting to oppress women and/or being a misogynist.
@FakeName123
Nobody's pushing anything down your throat. Feminism stands for much more than bra burning. Any woman who argues the rights of women while neglecting those of men is not a feminist. A feminist argues equality, not female dominance, and this is what ticks me about men. You have men that say a woman should 'know her place' yet complain about how hard done by they are when they're forced to taste their own medicine by being the 'man'. Earning the bread, being unemotional, trying to dominate other men etc. Truly, feminism on a wider understanding aims to eliminate female circumcision in third world countries. It stands to empower beaten and abused women, to give women the damn right to drive in Saudi Arabia (which I believe, is a solved issue now I think). Topics such as the beauty myth (beautiful read) are simply subjects in our first world that undermine women. Pornography (not a bad thing), the live sex trade, etc. You cannot deny the evidence of these very real threats.
Additionally people are not equal. Even if the sexes were, saying people are equal would undermine any individuality.
Nobody is saying this. But to automatically think another is worth less than you simply because they have a vagina is ridiculous.
Women SHOULD have equal pay by the hour, for doing the exact same thing for the exact same hours that a man does. This is the issue.
We are not talking about cripples or anything. Smh. We are talking about the images portrayed in magazines, movies, etc. Take for example almost every famous female comedian. Rebel Wilson, Rosie O'Donnel etc. For a woman to be 'funny' she must be what society deems as ugly, and she must use her uglyness as her weapon of comedy. Why the staggering and gradual rise of breast and butt implants? Why the trillion dollar beauty industry? Products that pray on women's natural appearance and insecurities to sell. Buy this cream for your wrinkles, buy this weight loss pill.
Do you agree, that people should be able to choose with which groups they affiliate?
I do indeed, hence why I believe in feminism.
Do you agree, that people should be allowed to have their own and individual preferences?
I do, hence why I believe in feminism.
Do you agree, that actions speak louder than words?
I do indeed, but I don't really understand how this question fits with this context.
Do you agree, that people are different?
Of course.
Do you agree, that things are not black and white, but that in almost every topic in life (aside from maths) there are greytones?
Of course.
Do you agree, that manipulating others in order to gain advantages is bad?
Of course. Hence why I believe in feminism.
"Nobody's pushing anything down your throat."
It's exactly what you are doing. You can't even respect me having a different opinion on the matter, but feel the need to tell me what feminism does and why its good.
Further you don't even consider that the reason why someone wouldn't date a feminist is less due to the political view but more so due to the kind of people who openly and proudly proclaim their view. You just have the mindset "who isn't with me is against me." Feel free to look up which kind of dictatorships in the past had a similar mindset.
Other than that I will do reply to your points:
"Feminism stands for much more than bra burning."
Actions speak louder than words. I honestly don't give a flying f*ck what it stands for, but what the people who associate with it actually do. No matter how much someone says, he is a pacificist. If he punches other people in the face, I will judge him by his actions and not his words.
"Any woman who argues the rights of women while neglecting those of men is not a feminist."
So you are the gatekeeper of who can identify as a feminist and who can't? People associate with feminism who have different views of how feminism needs to be expressed. That includes quite a few radicials.
Independent of that though your argument is a fallacy. It actually has a name and is called "No true scotsman fallacy". Instead of saying that those are not true feminists, you maybe should work towards removing these people from your movement rather than letting them dictate what actions are taken by being the loudest people who get the most listens.
Also your argument is entirely wrong on the definition of feminism as well. The exact definition of the oxforddictionary is "The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." Now imagine a scale which is roughly even on both sides. What happens if you put more and more weight onto only one side?
Correct, it gets imbalanced. The same happens with feminism - by putting only weight on" women's rights" you create a disbalance by the pure nature of the movement.
"A feminist argues equality, not female dominance"
Once more: Actions speak louder than words.
"and this is what ticks me about men. You have men that say a woman should 'know her place' yet complain about how hard done by they are when they're forced to taste their own medicine by being the 'man'. Earning the bread, being unemotional, trying to dominate other men etc"
And you have women who want men to be eradicated or castrated and the likes. That's not an argument, but individual cases. It's called anecdotal evidence.
"Truly, feminism on a wider understanding aims to eliminate female circumcision in third world countries."
Why not aim to eliminate circumcision as a whole as both mutiliation of the body and pushed with the very same arguments (in the places they are practiced) of "it looks better", "it's healthier", "it's for religious reasons", "everyone does it" and having it's harm downplayed by its supporters?
Here is an interesting idea: There is not a single country where there is female circumcision common without male circumcision. Yet there are countless of countries which have male circumcision as a cusom without female circumcision. It could eventually be that male circumcision paves the way for female circumcision so effectively fighting against both would actually help women as a whole.
"It stands to empower beaten and abused women"
Yet it manipulates and frauds statistics and completely ignores the opposite case of women abusing men as well as women being abusive in lesbian relationships.
- Just look at the VAWA and it's Primary Aggressor application - which was pushed by feminism - which makes men always being the person who gets arrested simply due to the fact that the criterias used will most likely determine the man being the primary aggressor independent of what the occurances were. The Duluth model does the very same and is openly a feminist model.
- How about there being almost no shelters at all for abused male victims?
- How comes the 1in5 college women are victims of sexual assault research is complete bonkers (If you wish I have it analysed a while ago and can show you. The entire study is ridiculous.), yet is taking as an absolute truth?
- How comes men can be easily expelled from colleges without a proper legal case on the basis of "it is more likely that he did it than that he didn't"?
- How comes men are are responsible for what happens when they are drunk, but women aren't. Doesn't that infantilise women?
Thats just a few examples of what feminism does to "empower" women. Needless to say I wish all the help for actual victims of any abuse, but it shows - as I mentioned above - that the scales are strongly imbalanced.
"to give women the damn right to drive in Saudi Arabia"
As someone who has family ties into the arabic region I can tell you, that Saudi Arabia - together with Israel - is one of the most oppressive countries there are. Maybe you should put your focus on there and actually do something useful.
"Topics such as the beauty myth (beautiful read) are simply subjects in our first world that undermine women."
How exactly is the beauty myth undermining women? Isn't it the womens fault if they chase after those beauty standards and not being independent of them? Once more you are infantilising women rather than empowering them.
"Pornography"
Your point?
"The live sex trade"
Agreed.
"You cannot deny the evidence of these very real threats."
I cannot deny them, but I can tell you that your view is very one-sided and some of those are non-issues you are making into issues. Furthermore I can easily give you as many examples and more where men have disadvantages. The difference is that there is no movement supported everywhere in the west, which pushes these issues.
Why do you think feminism was and still is omnipresent in the west? Because many people would lose their income, if it wasn't anymore and politicians pander to the majority of voters (there are more female than male voters).
Lastly all these things are part of the reason why I wouldn't date a feminist. Not only do you folks lack factual evidence and arguments - you also try to manipulate and shame me into buying your crap, pushing your own wrong-doings under the rug, being hypocrites and lack any sense of empathy for men (and their issues) in your egoistic, self-absorbed entitlement.
Here is an idea though: Men and women are meant to care for and complement each other. Not to fight and compete. But why would any men care about your causes, if you don't even care the slightest about their issues? It's a giving and taking and not a "we women need this, that, here, and there" - especially since a lot of those are blown out of context, exaggerated or simple lies.
And that lack of empathy for my well-being is one of the biggest reasons of why I wouldn't date a feminist. If you don't care for my entire gender, you surely will also not care for me as an individual. Does not matter, if you are a self-entitled narcisst or simply narrow-minded and oblivious.
So come back, when you have something of value to say instead of wallowing in self-pity and self-righteousness.
@FakeName123
You inspired me to write a whole myTake on the issue. Feel free to read that, for I cover most of what you have replied with in it.
Women are not equal to men and never will be we are diffrent
What decade are you living in this is why no man wants a feminist because we have to deal with this stupid shit we hear on a daily basis
i believe women are equal, but biologically different, and therefore should have different roles. what does that make me? :P
I won't date left-wing socialist feminist scum ! No way !
I would never ever date a girl who adheres to any retarded ideology !
can't we just act like grown ups, be honest with each other and are frank about our intentions? It's common sense to treat a girl appropriately !
I won't transform into a cissy to appease her, that's ridiculous or lick her boots or whatsoever !
Because of this FUCKING FEMINISM , you can't even chat friendly with girls anymore !
they'll think you're a weirdo or whatsoever !!! I won't let FEMINISM discriminate against me , I did not choose my gender after all ! Nor did girls.
I very rarely find men who want to chat about anything other than sex nowadays.
That's because they're Canadian, and not German or American or whatsoever. Bad luck I guess.
@9mfeo that's the kind of stereotype high school girls believe in. There are men out there that actually want a serious and solid relationship with a woman. Not that use and dump crap the media tries to pump into our minds. Educate yourself.
I should write a MyTake on why I despise feminism so much.
@Brauliocristo online? Yeah, no man I have encountered online is interested in chatting these days. In real life? For fuck's sake you don't have to patronize me, I know there are normal, respectful men out there.
@9mfeo Im online the opinion too so you saying we just wanna fuck?
@Brauliocristo my inbox is full of thirsty PMs. This is not "chatting" this is a debate.
For you they might be thirsty because nowadays we are easily labelled as creeps, stalkers and desperates @9mfeo
@Brauliocristo "Hey, do you like big cock/do you want to hear about my castration fantasy/will you shit on me?" doesn't sound thirsty, desperate or creepy to you at all?
Very ironic since we are the ones demanded to approach. Do you think it's easy dealing with those labels after all the effort a lot of guys make?
Yes, you Feminists, won't have the guts to ask a guy out, cause he'll immediately reject you, because you look nastier than a decaying body.
How to date a feminist?> don't bother. Anyway the great bulk of them are unfit to f-ck anyway. I am so tired of hearing a reaction on nearly everything as seen through the lens of the patriarchy & white privilege.
Truth is feminists are just another advocacy group trying to get as much as possible flowing their way from big daddy government. They are nothing but marxist/socialists w tits.
So listening to another perspective, engaging in stimulating (and perhaps taboo) conversation, and acknowledging reality turns you off? Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about avoiding or rejecting feminists! We have standards and you don't sound like our type ;)
@thethongisnotdead
Heh dating a feminist! There's a joke.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F_PTxpIjGXEA feminist dream date!
That's hilarious
It was funny but to me this portrays one of those situations where one person see's it as a date and the other only see's it has hanging out with a friend.
No. Just no.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iARHCxAMAO0this is why feminism has the image that it has, and its well deserved. These blue and red haired, nose ringed children act like the bottom of the barrell of human society, and they wonder why theyre not respected. there's tons of videos like this.
a lot like the riots in baltimore etc, even if they have legitimate grievances, they project themselves in a way that makes it hard for people to be sympathetic to their cause.
The man-hate filled foul-mouthed bitch @ 3.58 onwards is exactly what springs to mostly male minds when " feminism " is mentioned , even a large & growing number of women oppose these nutjobs... they have a thermonuclear level of hatred towards men , I bet this feminazi wants anything with a Y chromosome exterminated !!
so pay for her meal
never argue with her
put up with her bullshit attitude because if I don't I'm not a real man
don't make offensive jokes in her presence
yeah... I'll pass, she sounds like a major pain in the ass.
How cute. She actually thinks some men are lining up for her and her kind :)
"She won't automatically assume that you've got the bill, but you should at least offer."
Why should I offer to pay? Because I'm the guy?
Great *bows*
Some of the comments on here are shocking but not surprising. Not all feminists hate men, that is a feminazi. The whole point of feminism is equal rights between the sexes and genders. These tips should be applied to the rules of dating in general. Just because women want to be taken seriously and have the same value in the world as men doesn't mean they hate men. At the end of the day we are all human, we should concentrate on that.
Again, another 21 year old expert! In your whole 21 years of experience (with about 2/3 of them absolutely clueless about this issue), you have the answer, eh? Or are you just equivocating for those that belong to your gender, because you belong TO that gender. Part of the problem with our society, is that we've become increasingly blind to the view outside the walls of our cliques... The cliché is to, "Walk a mile in someone else's shoes..." If you walk that same mile, in your own shoes, you'll still be clueless about the wants, needs, dreams, challenges, quirks, etc of anyone outside your sphere of understanding. You can continue living in your bubble, or you can join the rest of the world and see that your comment above, is as useless as a box of rocks or planting a dead shrub... Good luck to you...
Oh how I love ageist comments and I think I can detect a little sexism too! actually most young people are not clueless to this issue, as from a young age we are conditioned through society to uphold idealised gender roles (A female does not belong to the female gender, she is part of the female sex and the gender she takes is optional). This could be from something little as going into a toy store as a child and seeing all the female toys centre on a domestic themes and the boys are based on action and adventure. Your comment is somewhat baseless as I choose to be painfully aware as opposed to blissfully ignorant.
Why would I? There are so many better girls out there. I'd rather like to go for that bitch but not for this bossy feminist.
If I were to date at all I would date a girl who knew what the traditional role of woman is and performed her role well so I could perform my traditional role as a man.
I don't want to date a feminist and would only date one by accident. The last thing I want on a date is to hear someone rant about how women have it harder than men. I just want a nice date to talk about pleasant things. I don't want every conversation to be an argument or lecture about women's rights.
You are aware that feminism addresses mens inequality issues too, right?
They might address men's inequalities, but I haven't seen it. I've seen feminists complain about Hollywood's unrealistic image that they give women by having super thin models. But I've never heard them say anything about how every guy on TV/movies has a six pack abs, huge biceps and a perfect chest. I've heard them say women aren't taken seriously in industries like math, computers and science. But never heard them say how men aren't taken seriously in fields like fashion, decoration and cooking.
Basically, you have to be a gentleman while she can be a dirtbag whore if she wants. All that complaining about women not getting their fair share but you're ok with not having to pay for your dinner. If you're so independent then pay for your own fucking salad.