Five Reasons Why I Would Be Happy To Date A Feminist

Five Reasons Why I Would Be Happy To Date A Feminist

So i was answering a question recently which asked people whether or not they would date a feminist. Quite a few people voted and continue to vote, and so far, about 2/3rds of men voting said no, while a third said they would. Personally, i stood with the one-third of men that would date a feminist and I thought I'd list my reasons as to why. I think a lot of guys have a bit of knee-jerk reaction to the word feminism, which is understandable given some of the erroneous facts and laws that have been pushed in the name of feminism and gender equality over the years....however I do find that if you take a closer look at the average woman who does label herself as a feminist, you'll find that there is nothing any more or less dangerous about her than any other woman who chooses not to call themselves feminist. I've always had a more nuanced view to things, and feminism has been no exception. Anyways, here are my top five reasons as to why dating a real feminist can actually be a great thing:

Reason 1: Real Feminists Are Independent

Probably one of the best reasons why one would date a feminist (a real one) in my view is that they tend to be fairly independent. They enjoy to pay their own way, and not rely on anyone to support their lifestyle. Their independence means that they often aren't as clingy as a typical girl, as they are often accustomed to relying on themselves anyways. In my view, what makes a real feminist sexy is the fact that when one does choose you as her boyfriend, she does so because she wants you in her life, not because she needs you. This is probably the most advantageous position to be in, as its less likely that she'll want to take your stuff if she already has stuff of her own.

Reason 2: Real Feminists Are Empathetic

I've noticed that a lot of people who i'd consider to be real feminists are probably amongst the most empathetic people you'll meet. A large part of their empathy comes from the fact that they tend to be more in touch with societal inequalities that affect other people, which naturally occurs while they are on their own journey to discover the difficulties women face in today's society. Now, these supposed inequalities that exist for women in the western world may be up for some debate, as i often do, but it doesn't take away from the fact that real feminists have a lot of compassion for people who are struggling...almost to a fault.

Reason 3: Real Feminists Are Often Intellectually Stimulating

The natural result of a woman paving her own way in life is that she ends up being quite well learned, often studying very advanced subjects in order to acquire a degree. Beyond that, they often can be very curious and inquisitive, which propels them to seek out and learn things on their own outside of the classroom, picking up knowledge and skills that they could even pass on to you if you pick their brains hard enough. These are people you could hold a conversation with, talking about things that actually matter, or have some practical use or purpose. Those are the kind of women that can keep you interested for quite a long time.

Reason 4: Real Feminists Actually Do Like Men

Contrary to popular belief, real feminists actually do like the opposite much so that they'll bring the issues they suffer through to public attention. They are often the ones who challenge the perception that only a woman should have custody of the children after a divorce, the legitimacy of alimony in the developed world and the rampant rise of male suicide rates. Real feminists are generally concerned with inequality suffered on both sides, and as stated in reason two, they can be quite empathetic towards men on those issues. They have sexual attraction towards men just like any other woman, and I imagine they are just as fun to be with sexually as any other woman.

Reason 5: Real Feminists Will Make You A Better Man

My final and probably most controversial reason is this: A real feminist will make you into a better man. What do I mean by this? I mean that this woman, because she is often so driven herself, will often push/encourage you, directly or not, to expect more out of life. A good woman in general will act as a mirror to the man she is with, and show you amazing parts of yourself that you never thought could possibly exist. A real feminist will always keep you thinking, preventing your brain from atrophying on endless supplies of porn and video games (not that I'm particularly against these things). These women can often be a source of inspiration in your own life, and can be great partners to have at your side when you need a pick me up or words of encouragement.

So there you have it. Five reasons why I think a dating a feminist would actually be a good thing. Now I may not identify as a feminist myself, since I don't really agree with them on certain core issues when it comes to the problems they face in the western world (nor do i really want to have to run constant interference for the actions of feminazis), I don't really see the need to have a fearful knee-jerk reaction towards dating them. I mean we aren't even talking marriage here, although i do believe the reasons do still carry forward into marriage. I personally don't have a problem with dating a real feminist, and i would encourage other men to challenge themselves a little, utilizing a bit of introspection in order to figure out why you may or may not have an issue with this. Also, I'm fully aware that a certain segment of the male population on here won't get too far through this myTake before preparing some hateful comment for me or others, but that's quite alright. I've been interacting with a lot of these same people for many years now on GaG, and so I've already heard it all. This group has always hated me, and as always, I welcome their hatred.

Written in honour of a real feminist @BarbaraP



Five Reasons Why I Would Be Happy To Date A Feminist
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Most Helpful Girl

  • BarbaraP
    I had honestly lost all hope towards this issue on GaG. The amount of prejudice is crazy, and I've been trying to understand it for so long. Living in a different continent, a different country, it's pretty easy for me to distinguish real feminism from that sexist/radical feminism, while most people apparently can't or don't want to. I'm so honored that you mentioned me and I'm so happy that you took a deeper look, deep enough to say that not everything is rotten or lost. You really have to be brave to talk about feminism, without fully condemning it, especially on GaG. I don't think we ever really discussed this matter a lot and I've never really told you on which side I consider myself to be, but you clearly aren't the type of person who needs words and explanations to understand something. It must be pretty hard to be you, your brain is always up to something haha. Again, I'm very very happy that you mentioned me as a real feminist, considering all these aspects you listed (whoa!), you honestly left me speechless. Thank you.
    P. S. Why aren't you a writer already, you'd seriously make the perfect journalist
    Like 11 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      i could always tell that you were a feminist, but i imagined you were conflicted about your willingness to explicitly say that you were, largely because of the negative connotations that are ascribed to it. In that question i had noticed your answer and it reminded me about why I've always held the view that despite my disagreements with the movement here and there, its still an overall positive push in the right direction. It's unfortunate that you're often forced to hide your feelings on this. But when it comes to me though, I've always held the philosophy of "listen to all, but follow none." I don't tend to put myself into any one group or movement, but I pay attention to what every movement is saying and try to come up with a nuanced point of view. Where you as a real feminist is concerned, you may still be viewed like garbage by some people, which is fine. They will do what they will do. But you will never be viewed that way by me.

    • Anpu23

      I find it so hard to distinguish "real feminists" from the others, please explain how. I have been looking for sources from and about "real feminists" Please direct me to authors, articles, websites, and speakers that rep[resent "real feminism." I am quite serious, and I read gender discussions regularly, both for and against feminism.

    • Anonymous

      @Anpu23 a good feminist to start with would be Andy Hoff Sommers. she's written a few books

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • AleDeEurope
    "Real feminists..."
    "Real feminists..."
    "Real feminists..."
    Problem is, there's no real feminists :/

    If they were real feminists, like the ones back in the day fighting for REAL rights, I would date one in a heartbeat, as I support that fight.
    But today you don't find that kind of feminist, you just gotta take the answers of the so-called real feminists on GAG, to realize how they are NOT real feminists, but the new third wave feminist, aka, the crying babies.
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • ChocoLada

      I'm the real feminist ;)

    • Rainie_

      Lol... There are real feminists though, you just let the feminazis overshadow them and ignore the real ones. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„ Just like most guys here on gag tbh...

    • @Rainie_ All I see today's feminists do is fight for ridiculous stuff, like making manspreading illegal, or make up fake statistics.
      Perhaps the feminazis have actually overshadowed the real ones, don't you think? I mean, if fighting to free the nipple is their main issue right now, there mustn't be many real issues they're facing, many inequality issues.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Bandit74
    Well a good question to ask would be: Of all the women who make a point to identify as feminists, what percentage of them would qualify as fitting the definition of a "real feminist" that you have laid out here?

    1) When it comes to -feminists in general- it does seem like a lot of them still have the expectation that men should be the higher earners and pay for all the dates. Either that or they have that "I am a strong independent woman and dont need no man in my life" which is great but they dont really give off a welcoming vibe. Also a lot of what they talk about has to do with the concept of female hypo-agency/victimhood mentality which, in my opinion, undermines that supposed independence.. Like the whole idea of "the patriarchy" operates under the assumption that women are just objects who are acted upon by men and are always victims of circumstance.

    In general they do seem empathetic but primarily towards minorities and the LGBT community. I have just never gotten the vibe from a feminist that they would give a shit about anything a straight white man has to say. The only way Id get sympathy from a feminist is if I said I want to wear a dress or cry more. Those are the only male issues they seem to care about. Anything else and It would just be like "well we have it worse so stfu because I don't want to hear about it". Also sometimes they seem a little too empathetic to the point of creating issues out of everything. Like dating one would be like walking on eggshells.

    3) As much as I HATE to say it, a lot of the feminists on gag do seem to be above average intellectually. Although being smart doesn't necessarily equate to being right. If you're smart that means you can make a convincing argument regardless of what side of the fence you are on. Smart people can be wrong just as average people can be, the difference is that smart people are MUCH better at arguing their premises and conclusions even if they are false.

    While feminists can be smart, I generally wouldn't say they are humble. The bitchiest most condescending women I've ever encountered were all feminists and that kinda takes away whatever bonus points they might get for being smart.

    4) Yeah I think people over-exaggerate when they claim that all feminists are butch lesbians... Although Id bet that most of the loud ones who are rioting in the streets and marching in the free the nipple protests are probably lesbians. :p

    5) Maybe
    LikeDisagree 9 People
  • Humping_Tornadoes
    All these reasons you listed, apply -specially- to non feminists, as well. I believe the big, big majority of women who consider themselves feminists today do not match your criteria, at all. Here's a conversation I had with a classmate who considers herself a feminist:
    Me: "So you don't know how to cook? "
    Her: "No, I think my man should cook for me."
    Me: Laughs* "I think everyone should know how to cook, you will need it someday."
    Her: "I just expect a man who takes care of me, that's all."
    Me: "So, you would never cook for a guy? "
    Her: "I may try on occasion, but I don't want to fall in the sexist cliché that I will do everything for him."
    Me: Laughs* "You don't have to, and I'm sure no guy would expect you to."
    Her: "Every single guy expects their women to do anything for them. See, this is why I wouldn't cook for a man, so I have no interest in learning how to."
    Me: (NEGGED*) "You just said you would try on occasion. And I think you should learn how to cook for your own benefit, but whatever floats your boat girl."

    The conversation about "cooking" ended there, since I am not interested in arguing with close minded people. But that is modern feminism in action, women who have lots of expectations for men, while at the same time weighing themselves down responsibilities, and excusing themselves (victimizing themselves, in some cases) with the feminism tag. There's no real ideology behind their ideas, no "urge" to actually fight or care for equal gender rights.

    These women you describe sound perfect, but in modern context they would not apply to most feminists. That's why feminist professionals, for example, such as Christina Hoff Sommers (economist and scholar at American Enterprise Institute) and June Oโ€™Neill (former director of the Congressional Budget Office), have stated themselves that the "wage gap" is a myth, and therefore are hated by other feminists. Women such as these two are very hard to find, and clearly the exception to the rule. Using the facts we have available, tell any feminist that the wage gap is a myth, for example, and see them jump. That's why I neg virtually every feminist I have been able to speak with.

    Like 7 People
    • I can easily recognize why would a person be happy with the achievements of what true political feminism did during the 80's, but if we acknowledge men have lots of difficulties and do suffer also from discrimination both legally and socially as well, probably more than we ever have, I would actually question and challenge every feminist to why they don't consider themselves egalitarian.

  • ThatNiceGuy
    OMG that's gender appropriation you fuckface. How dare you write a mytake on feminism when you are a cisgender male scum. Check your privilege and erase this mytake or I will summon my tumblr death squad and we will email your employer.
    Like 10 People
  • Relentless_Hippie
    All of these can be found in a woman who is not a feminist. Feminism serves no purpose in the modern world. If someone believes in rights for all, "Fem" doesn't need to be attached to it.
    Like 13 People
  • Other_Tommy_Wiseau
    i'm surprised how not funny this is. good take, though. it's like the "nice guy" bullshit. people focus on the word and not what it means. feminism isn't male hating. those are feminazis that have latched on to the feminist tag, but feminism simply is for the equal rights of females and males. egalitarianism is the same thing, tbh.
    Like 2 People
    • Anonymous

      the muslims are going through a similar experience. Just guys looking for a reason to hate a whole movement due to their own insecurities about themselves

    • well, the muslim thing is a little different cause terrorists are actually muslims, not pretending to be, it's just that they take it way too far, but i digress cause i don't wanna start shit :P. I don't know about insecurities about themselves, but people do just look to hate things. i like sports and everyone does that in sports. they want the bad teams to be good and then once they or some player gets notoriety and becomes good, they hate on them all of a sudden

  • dangerDoge
    If they are truly a real feminist, I would agree with you. The term "feminist" is so confusing nowadays because of the many different implications it has. I'm sure whenever I answer questions like "would you date a feminist?" or "do you consider yourself a feminist?" my answer has flip flopped throughout the months I've been on GAG. Why? I have seen many different opinions what feminism is. I have been lead astray and am lost by a billion different viewpoints on it. I have a general idea of the person I would date, as written in your mytake. Then I have a general idea of a person I wouldn't date: someone who essentially hates men. (Granted, if they hate men, they probably wouldn't want to date me either).

    From what I've gathered from various opinions read, European feminism is different than feminism in the US. I tend to hear more so about US feminism more though. I don't even know what's up and down anymore and the difference between sexism and cheesecake.

    Well, alright. My *new and improved* current overarching viewpoint:
    Basically I'll put it like this: Every girl is a case by case basis. Being labeled something is not a turn on or turn off by itself. Being "feminist" is not a turn off. I treat everyone the same and don't give/take away extra points for labels. I only would judge based on the actions displayed. If they seem like they are independent, empathetic, etc. then that is a turn on. If they seem like they are secretly/bitterly judging me and are seconds away from telling me to check my privilege, I'll be turned off.
    No one label can specifically blanket an entire group, especially nowadays.

    Hmm... I think I'll stick by that philosophy. It simplifies things and then lets me not have to worry about dating someone labeled one way or the other. I'll just take everything one step at a time, one person at a time.
    Like 3 People
    • Jager66

      If you want to remove some of the confusion focus on what Feminists actually do, not what they say they do.

      For example, Women's Studies and Gender Studies are 100% Feminist University programs, you can learn a lot about Feminism by learning their theories and quotes from their most celebrated authors and contributors.

      Pay attention to the protests they launch, the laws they support, the news articles they publish then go look up the exact same thing from well informed and respected critics of those same events.

  • frozenhorizon
    Nice, I agree! Although to me it seems like a lot of "real feminists" don't call themselves that lately because of how people often perceive a "feminist", as you know. I know a few friends who would fit the description but don't call themselves feminists. Because plenty people who call themselves feminists actually aren't.

    But yeah, all your points are perfect.
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      glad you agree :)

  • 9mfeo
    Like 8 People
  • ConsultantIsBack
    I'm all for egalitarianism, but.. Most US-feminists in my opinion are so manly, so pugnacious, so obnoxious. Barf
    But ya these are great reasons, great take man!
    Like 5 People
    • Anonymous

      yeah i hear your frustration. I take issue with a lot of it myself. As i stated, I don't label myself as a feminist personally but my main point is that i don't really view these kind of feminists as any more or less dangerous to date than women who don't identify with the label. I mean most women today according to some studies done don't even label themselves as feminist, yet you still have massive amounts of divorces occurring in the USA, so there's clearly some overlapping issues there that aren't really affected by the feminist label

    • SIGguy

      They're the most verbal, that's why. Sorta like the gun owners, the cray-cray ones get the voice because they're the loudest.

    • @SIGguy mate, let's invent a way to make em shut up and sell the invention for millions

    • Show All
  • GorillovePotato
    I personally have never met an "intellectually stimulating" feminist," all most of them want to do is talk about how totally oppressed women are.
    If I were a man, I'd stay far away from any girl proclaiming she is a feminist. I would, however, date an anti-feminist, or just a girl who I thought was nice and pretty.

    Thing is, I keep getting told these extremists aren't what feminism is about, you have to dig deeper and find the "real ones". Unfortunately, either I haven't found a "real feminist" or they're all equally bad in their own ways. They all use biased and outdated "facts" to back up their arguments, and they call anything portraying women in a sexual way "sexist." They claim we live in a rape culture, and that video game characters are too sexualized, yet walk around topless to protest the censorship of a woman's breasts.
    They're backwards and hypocritical, and that's just the surface. Dig a little deeper and you'll find woman who proclaim downright doomsday on men. Now, while I can't say all feminists are total man haters (because they're not), I also can't agree with any of their logic.

    There are many woman (like myself) who are empathetic and independent, but don't call ourselves feminists because we can also see right through that joke of a movement.

    Find a woman who doesn't need a label to make her feel empowered.
  • hellionthesage
    Real feminist are feminist and they are none of these things. How can a feminist like men but also blame them for everything? How can one say that all men oppressed all women for all of history treating them like objects and abusign them etc etc etc (all provably false mind you) and still like men? Thats like me saying all blacks are worthless lazy criminals that are a waste of space and air, but I still like them. Those two ideas are contradictory in nature you cannot like men and hate them simultaneously. As for independent, thats questionable, both in them being independent and wanting that to begin with. If you are treating each other as independent you are treating them like you would a friend so (for me personally) how do you have a romantic relationship when you are functioning as a aromantic partnering? As for empathetic I would also question that, so far every feminist I have come across has been the exact opposite of empathetic. Quite literally actively belittling every one who has a complaint or issue while screaming about how their (the feminist, women in general) have way more issues and you should never talk about anything but how hard women have it (again ironic since this is provably false). Unless you have found the only good "feminist"(if they where good they would be fighting for equality not rights for women which is what the name literaly means (female (centric) ideology) and/or I have only come across the bad. Otherwise I would say this is inaccurate as I have experienced it and as data shows it to be. To each their own I suppose.
  • Minxxie
    Damn I am sorry for all the hate you are going to get for this! This sounds like my relationship actually he asked me how I felt about feminism before he dated me because it's something that is important to him being the child of an abused woman who is also active in feminist charity work himself. He was also tired of girls expecting him to pay for everything for them and basically act like their parent. His ex always told him to "man-up" and all this bullshit and asked him to fist fight people for her, and yelled at him if he showed too much emotion. Like why would you treat someone like that just because they are male? Especially if you love them! I see him as an equal partner and a human being who has emotions and doens't want to support a grown woman as if she's a child. I can take cre of myself and I am not looking for a third parent I want a life partner!
    Like 5 People
    • Anonymous

      hah, well i've gotten a lot of hate for it already :) But yeah the kind of relationship you have with your boyfriend is what i'd prefer for myself as well.

    • Minxxie

      Yeah I mean all I wanted was an equal relationship and I think everyone deserves that and I don't get the concept of treating someone of a different gender like they are a different species like men have emotions because humans have emotions get over it people!

  • aliceinwonderland69
    Non-feminists can be these things as well obviously. I haven't met any feminists that sympathise with men's rights.
    Like 12 People
    • NatashaJ

      Oh god then you just paying attention to the femnazis then.

    • Chief16

      @alicceinwonderland69 On G@G unfortunately you'll only find misandrists and misogynists. You'll see fifteen year olds parading around calling themselves feminists, that's how dire things are on G@G. Lol.

    • Chief16


    • Show All
  • Azara
    I like the kind of person you describe - woman or man. I like each point and all the qualities. in my opinion, People do disservice to themselves and others, getting caught up in stereotypes of which the nature is ephemeral and only represent fragment of a person and that fragment can be applied to anyone at anytime.

    I like your list:)
    Like 1 Person
  • TheFlak36
    And of course all of the reasons have nothing to do with... real feminists. Shows how much you know about feminism. I also would dare you to eve disagree on something with them. Let's then how things will go and I'm talking now while having personal experience as well.

    Make a better man out of you... hahahahaha... yeah right. She won't turn you into a beta male sucker. No never!
    Like 6 People
  • rjroy3
    I mostly agree. 2 and 5 are where I'm so so on.

    2. I've met some feminists who bring up men's issues in one on one conversation, but only ever do anything about women's issues, speaking up at boardmeetings. So it's mostly about giving lip service for the appearance of caring. A choice few I've met have actually bothered to fight for men's issues when it mattered as well. But the overwhelming majority were empathetic in word, but apathetic in action. Aside from that, there wasn't anything they said or did that would lead me to believe they weren't a real feminist.

    5. It's mostly dependent upon her character. I know feminists that have put their men on a schedule for success instead of just expecting more and encouraging him to want more for himself as well. Essentially, emotionally castrating him. Being successful yourself doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a good motivator or partner. Kobe Bryant is successful and everyone hated him. Ruled with an iron fist, but he did get results. That's why I stress it's a personal character trait more than to be expected of all "real feminists", with the assumption all independent people have this trait. Not all do.
    • Anonymous

      well to be fair, i dont see a whole lot of MRAs or MGTOWs doing anything for women either

    • rjroy3

      The few MRA's I've met don't claim to be about equality. They've been straight up about being for men's rights. That's how it differentiates.
      And MGTOW is just an online movement. If feminists didn't claim to be for equality for men and women, then my point would be invalid.

    • Anonymous

      if the MRA's don't want equality between the genders, the group is a lot worse than i originally thought it was

    • Show All
  • abundantlyrich
    I see your pissing off the big male egos here. (Evil laugh)
    Like 5 People
    • Anonymous

      indeed :) but i expected that

    • I hear their balloons poppin'.โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Sad to see they see 'em as a threat rather than someone to complement them. Someones getting scared!

    • Show All
  • sparkly-crystal
    I am an ex- feminist. Women in third world countries are being subjected to genital mutilation, and sentenced to 30 lashes in public for committing adultery. Those countries need feminism not the USA. Majority of the feminists in America only care about free the nipple campaign and not shaving their armpits and legs. They are also extremely left-wing. If you tell them that muslim women are the most oppressed they will call you an anti-muslim bigot. The most feminists I know major in worthless shit like women and gender studies, sociology or psychology stuff. If you want equal pay and be able to earn as much as a man go major in engineering, computer science or become an electrician, welder or a mechanic. Then bitch and complain about the wage gap. The suburban stay at home moms who haven't worked a single day in her life also represent a good chuck of feminists.
    Like 20 People
    • oh yes baby, PREAAACH

    • Minxxie

      I don't get how you are complaining about feminism but also saying that feminism shouldn't be around when we are actually helping the very people you are using as pawns in your argument. Some issues are less important than others, sure. But until you've been covered in other people's blood and dirt trying to save child brides and human trafficking victims in India you don't get to say whether e need feminism or not, you don't get to look an abused child bride in the eyes and tell her feminism is pointless and that you want to get rid of the movement that is helping her escape hell. The mild annoyance you may feel from feminists lobbying for smaller issues isn't worth ending the movement and telling all the people suffering human rights violations who would have been helped by feminism that "Free the nipple annoys me so you don't get help either too bad suck it up!" So you can keep whining on the internet but I'm going to keep being an activist in real life :)

    • @Minxxie that's so amazing!!! you are an activist!!! you deserve a cookie for sure!! now get off the Internet, pack your bags, go to Syria and free the ISIS child brides.

    • Show All
  • IndianGirl01
    Thanks a lot for this mytake. It is so true. all of the points.
    We dont hate men. Rather i feel more connected with their issues after i became a feminist.
    Thankyou for this mytake. :)
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      You're welcome! I'm always happy to see feminists and non-feminists alike caring about each others issues

  • Coffinspire
    Hey!! Long time no talk!!!

    You would be the different one and say you like feminists!

    You the man!
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      too long :) I've missed ya

    • You have literally pointed out the core of feminism. I wish everyone saw it the way you do. I mean dating a feminist I would assume is better than dating a cold money hungry whore in my opinion. Some guys just don't know whats good lol

    • Anonymous

      "You have literally pointed out the core of feminism. I wish everyone saw it the way you do. "

      I would argue that many guys do see it... they just don't care

    • Show All
  • Anpu23
    I have avoided commenting on this main topic for the simple reason that you are welcome to date whomever you wish, for whatever reasons you choose.

    I personally hate feminism, and have published amti feminist poetry, and art. I am vocal and educated in my fight against what I consider to be a hate movement crouched in the language of acceptance.

    But it is not my. place to tell you who you should or should not date. Good luck to you in your endeavor.
    Like 2 People
  • ManOnFire
    But this can still apply to women who feel the same things and aren't feminists. Feminism is a choice. You don't need to be a feminist to do/be all this.

    Feminism to me is just another social political ideology. It's roots are in a well-meaning term, but the movement itself has been abused. So there's a reason why there are women who want nothing to do with it, and men who feel disparaged by it.
    Like 2 People
  • H2OBearer
    All of these reasons you listed can be found in someone who isn't a feminist. Modern day feminism is nothing more than girls who want control. They're just babies screaming so the whole house can hear it, just so they can get their toy. Real feminism is now obscure
    Nonetheless your reasons have nothing to do with feminists.
    Like 4 People
  • aficionado
    Very well written myTake, and valid points too.

    I don't have an issue with the 'original' concept of feminism (not the third wave nazi feminism), but it's that stupid word that gets on my nerves. There should be separate term for it. Egalitarianism comes close, and I do consider myself an egalitarian.
    • Anonymous

      thanks :) i more or less agree with you as well. As i stated in the myTake, i don't really label myself as a feminist, but i don't really have a problem with dating them either. I don't see them as any more or less dangerous as women who don't label themselves as one. It all depends on the woman's specific views

    • Jager66

      Since Google has been digitizing historical news articles and other related material people have begun digging them up, specifically the ones related to Feminism and such. Turns out Feminism has ALWAYS been the way it is now, well maybe it's more tame now as it's no longer typical of them to set building on fire, for example.

      You should look up Christina Hoff Summers, she wrote the book Who Stole Feminism, she is a Feminist who speaks out about the problems within Feminism. Her content is easily digestible and a good place to start learning about the issues Feminism works hard to hide.

  • jeppe_boy
    Reason 1: I actually don't mind a girl who is independent and i have dated independent feminists before but most of those relationships felt distant, we were never able to connect emotionally. Its just my experience

    Reason 2: Strangely i have never felt this difference between feminist women and more traditional women. I have heard all types of women express the difficulties they express. I have never got the impression that feminist women are more in touch with social inequalities. My mum is not a feminist and considers herself more traditional but often expresses her views about there inequalities and is quiet vocal about it.

    Reason 3: This so depends on the individual, my best friend from school is a stay at home mum and often my best intellectual discussion are with her. Again, its not something people can take to heart and say i'm going to talk with a feminist because she has studied more. Women of all backgrounds can have interesting discussions even ones that might appear to have relied on others.

    Reason 4: Again it comes down to an individual. You know, and i dislike bringing this up, when i graduated from college i graduated with a cum laude in electronic engineering and my final thesis was based on jamming and intercepting electronic interference. On the day of our presentation we were visited by various companies, including one of the largest defense contractors, you know what the lady told me when 4 of us approached her "I'm sorry guys we are giving preference to female applicants this year" - where were the feminists? You know what the saddest part was, none of the girls in my class stood for me and three guys, they turned a blind eye. So again and i try to emphasize this, you cannot give these labels, people are individual and act as such, i know feminists who like men and i know non-feminists who like men, so what?

    Reason 5: That is just barking up the wrong tree, how can you even make such a statement. Again, my mum, not a feminist and made my dad into a better man. My girl, not a feminist , sweet awesome girl that boosts and challenges me through everything, my uncles wife, who loves to read and is a stay at home mum, taught me how to trade stocks of all things.

    So just to reiterate what is being said, women of all types can independent/dependent and that's ok, they can all be intellectually stimulating regardless of how many degrees they have should they choose to, and all types of women can love men and hate them.
    • cmale123

      That exactly my point, dating feminist is like going out with stranger. It really hard to connect with them

    • jeppe_boy

      @cmale123 Exactly, i have dated feminists before and tried to keep an open mind, but man, was it boring as hell, they always seem so technical and its always about man this, women this, and so glad my current girlfriend is so relaxed and chilled and i can connect with her emotionally. I totally get what you are saying

  • vishna
    Hail the new prophet, speaker of truth, provider of wisdom, and bearer of general decency regarding the much debated F word.

    Guys on this site, and all over, can not and will not push their brains to distinguish between the radicals and the every day feminists. They are so stubborn, they refuse to listen to people who say "I'm a feminist, but I don't think men are bad." Instead, they purposefully disregard those statements and spread lies in the form of "All feminists believe this... Feminists do that" after having been presented with obvious counterexamples. In a nutshell it is just being a stupid ass.
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      Well as you saw from some of the comments already, some of guys are already having the same sort of hyper-emotional response that they criticize women for having all the time, hah. But in any event, I'm happy the take resonated with ya.

    • Anpu23

      I read feminist literature, I follow feminist thought, I educate myself about feminism, I speak with feminists I study feminist history I still am under the impression that it's a hate movement. I do not take the dictionary definition at face value as I follow the underlying structure, and the actions of PROMINENT feminists not the fring, but the main stream, the ones who make policies and affect legal structures. When the actions of accepted and followed feminists are contrary to the movements stated purpose then the statement is pure rhetoric at best and mendacity at its worst.

    • vishna

      @Anpu23 Prominent people are not the majority. And since one can not elect a popular feminist, rather in this world, you get famous by being flashy and outlandish, I can say, these women don't define the word or movement for me. Rather, they're tainting it with their notoriety and actions. I cringe at the wave of young feminists, younger than me in my experience (think Tumblr) , that say "patriarchy this, patriarchy that" I think we can all agree, America was founded as a country where men ruled. But I think the word itself has become so trendy and the women who use it, are on a different wavelength than I am, and many other feminists.

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  • ColinHarvey
    Not a whole lot of feminists standing outside of prisons protesting prison rape - let's just say that.

    Quite a few walking around with their boobs duct taped and, "slut" plastered all over their bare asses on Slutwalks screaming about rape culture. Whatever that is.
    Like 3 People
  • Chief16
    Bro... Careful what wish for.
    Lemme tell you something, a 'feminist' and an #Ubermod on this site argued with me the whole day for asking what's the nicest way to reject someone. She even tagged along another UberMod to support her argument (there really wasn't any), she called all sorts of things. A sexist, an ignorant second language speaking third world dweller (insinuated it) and also called me a pedophile. Can you imagine? Now you gonna tell me that, not all women be like that. True, 100% true.
    But most of them who call themselves feminists by the American definition are definitely not. They're not egalitarian, they're borderline misandrists. Like most women who call themselves feminists here, I had some hope in it, but the Mod completely tarnished the image of feminism to my mind. If you wanna date a feminist, Canada be a good bet, Europe be the best, In America... Most likely a nail in your coffin.
    Like 7 People
    • Can you show me that argument? I want to finish my bowl of popcorn.

    • Chief16

      @ThisDudeHere but almost all her comments have been removed.๐Ÿ˜

    • ... oh.. a shame

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  • Jager66
    The No True Scotsman (NTS) fallacy is a logical fallacy that occurs when:
    1) During argument, after their favored group has been criticized, someone re-defines the group in order to deflect uncomfortable counter-examples and thus makes the group entirely praiseworthy.

    2) Before argument, someone preemptively defines the group such that the group definitionally must be entirely praiseworthy, but said definition was created arbitrarily for this defensive purpose, rather than based on actual qualities of the group.

    NTS is generally used in order to make the argument that no element worthy of criticism can ever be held against some group.

    Despite all of these remarkable qualities, the NTS fallacy is a vital tool in the promotion of denialism.

    Denialism is the refusal to accept well-established theory, law, fact or evidence. "Denialist" is pejorative.
    Like 6 People
  • Agrojag
    You lost me at feminists are empathetic. I've met a few. None of them were.
    Like 4 People
  • LEO420
    I don't understand why the term feminist receives such a negative response. A feminist is just someone who believes that men and women should be treated equally and that women should be free to make their own choices in every aspect of life.
    Like 4 People
    • cmale123

      Well, because guy do not want to date a man. If a women being man why want to date her. There are many reason dating feminist is bad. I think sex might be one reason feminist is bad. Women going crazy on work don't consideration pleasing guy. Expectencty is much more demanding like match her income instead getting know the guy. There more risk of bad relationship dating feminist that all

    • Anpu23

      I don't understand why Naziism has such a horrible reputation, it's just a belief in a strong central government, and that the government should control major industries. Sometimes it's not the dictionary definition that shades a movement, but rather the actions of the people of that movement.

    • Rawrzz

      If you would like to understand, then listen to Karen Straughan. In essence, feminism's baseline premise is that women are weak and stupid; while men are powerful and intelligent assholes. There's also no reason to be a feminist, when you can be an egalitarian that cares for all forms of equality. Feminism claims to be for "equality", but even in its name its unequal. Only 18% of Americans identify with feminism.

  • admles
    Actual, real feminism and feminists isn't the problem, it's the interpretation some of them have of the movement. The tumblr feminist who looks for misogyny in everything, and basically hates men - those are aren't real feminists, but they tend to be the loudest and get the most attention.

    True feminists are egalitarian and care just as much about men's rights as they do women's. That is the sort of feminist I would happily date. :)
    Like 1 Person
  • cth96190
    Negrodamuss it is clear to me that you do not understand the true nature or objective of feminism.
    Feminism is a hate movement led by Marxists, who are also often lesbians, who hate men and want to destroy Western Civilisation.
    Listen to what this former Soviet diplomat and KGB operative had to say about the origins and objectives of feminism.
    Like 5 People
  • Kylesar
    Good luck becoming a doormat

    Feminists don't give a damn about men's issues, which would be fine until they start saying it's for all genders
    Like 5 People
    • vishna

      How can you speak for all the people you are not, are you some great being made of the consciousness of every feminist on the planet? Probably not.

    • Kylesar

      @vishna So because one feminist stands for men's rights and true equality, all of them do?
      No, plus I never said "all"

      The fact that you automatically assume someone's speaking for "all" when it's not clarified (thus logically assumed to be mentioned in "general") is amusing

      Feminism in Sweden is trying to ban urinals and make it illegal to stand to pee

      Feminism is trying to get MRA labelled as a terrorist group. I can safely say that feminism doesn't give a flying fuck about men's rights. They just care about male utility

    • vishna

      I'm wrong to assume you meant all then you go on to say "I can safely assume... They just care about male utility"?

      But hey, at least you conceded that 1 feminists stands for men's rights and equality.

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  • takumii
    I too voted 1 even though I don't like feminism. There views about feminism wouldn't make me like them less. Different people have different opinions.
    Like 3 People
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    I agree with you - I prefer not to label people but think of them as individuals and base any decision on our interaction - That said my only real issue with feminists is why do they or any splinter group break away on their own when I would be egalitarian believing in the betterment of all which I think all these groups believe in but feel they need to priortise for their own group.
    Any person who believes passionately and (reasonably) in their cause will fulfill a lot of the above points so I will keep my options as open as possible.
    Like 2 People
  • AllThatSweetJazz
    "Real" Feminists.
    "True" Scotsman.

    Identifying with feminism says very little about someone's character, it could mean anything. It could mean they are fkn psychos it could mean they are chill. What you're basically saying is that dating someone cool... would be pretty cool.
    [Slow clap] ( -_-)
    Like 4 People
  • XxLumierexX
    Most/all of these qualities can be found in someone who chooses not to associate with the feminist movement. If someone feels the need to associate themselves with a higher collective in order to feel strong/independent, they're pathetic. I despise labels. And its funny because some feminist out there would most likely see this rejection of the feminist label (and instead of just choosing to think of myself as a free individual) as just proof of how entrenched patriarchy is!! Even though women have the same rights as men in the western world! :-D
    I really dislike the movement in general honestly.
    Like 3 People
  • Clone
    A real feminist would recognise that feminism has outlived its purpose and would simply refer to herself as a woman.
    Like 3 People
  • SunsetRose
    This is awesome. Thanks for understanding what feminism actually is.
    Like 1 Person
  • madhatters4
    100% agree. it'll be interesting to see the bashing the occurs but you are 100% right
    • Anonymous

      "it'll be interesting to see the bashing the occurs"

      it already has :p

  • gobsmacked3
    'Feminist' is another readily used label in the 21st century that so many throw around willy nilly but few understand its meaning

    The Age of hype/hysteria distorting actual reality
  • Jersey2
    I enjoy women who like traditional roles, femisninst don't strike me as being truly open to that, so it would be a no for me.
    Like 1 Person
  • QuestionMan
    These are the exact qualities I look for in a woman.
    Like 1 Person
    • SIGguy

      Ideal woman, indeed.;)

  • lolitalulz
    why do you always post about feminists? lol.. are you some chrisstian afro-american that thinks equality is evil? kind of odd, somebody of your race saying equality is evill...
  • archiz
    Labeling things has never been my thing.
    Since most of us fluctuates between the 2 extremes.
    • Anonymous

      i hear ya. im the same way

    • archiz

      by the way in this tense, do we say fluctuate or fluctuates?
      or both?

    • Anonymous

      fluctuate :)

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  • Metlahaed
    I would find it hard to date a girl who isn't a feminist...
  • howzit2015
    I honestly don't care about what they believe just be a nice person and be open minded to others views. Personally every person I have met that has outright called themselves a feminist has been very keen on mentioning women problems, but when you attempt to mention the problems associated with being a male they get upset. It then devolves into some kind competition to prove to me how much worse they have it than men. So I don't think you need to be a feminist to be intellectually stimulating. I like debating things so I don't like people who take things to heart too seriously when you poke holes in their logic.
  • worldscolide
    It would be nice if most feminists were actually like this. Sadly it is a pipe dream. There is literally only one feminist that I have ever seen that fits that. She goes by based mom, or the factual- feminist on YouTube.

    The other thing that happened in this article is you used the no true Scotsman fallacy. By saying that a real feminist is this or a real feminist is that. If they say they are a feminist then they are.

    I personally don't have any issue with all feminists, just the ones that inhabit tumbler, twitter, and YouTube. The ones that bend facts and data to support their world view. Or the ones on radfem that believe we need to reduce male population to 10%, and have holidays called national castration day.

    But that is the dark side of feminism, if feminists want the majority of the world to respect them they need to do some serious house cleaning and distance them selves from those types.
  • Careless_Whisper
    Probably the most idiotic and untrue myTake I have ever read.
    Like 2 People