Its very easy to sit on the outside and pass judgements about other people's relationships. "Why dont they just break up?" or "They are so much better apart." These statements can be heard from anyone's best friend oy sybling. The truth is, you dont know the truth.
DISCLAIMER: I am not excusing abusive relationships. If you happen to find yourself in that situation of course I encourage you to reach out and seek help, or get as far away as possible.
Relationships are hard work. They can bring you to the brink of sanity and make you want to quit so badly, but that person is your #1, your partner in crime, your A team. Quitting on them isn't an option, there is too much love and partnership.
Recently my boyfriend and I have been in a rough spot. We can't seem to find the right balance and we both have a lot of stress happening outside of our relationship. Many times this is taken out on the other person. We are both short tempered during periods of stress and this can translate to arguements which we both almost immediately regret.
I have two rules in our relationship:
#1: Treat the other the way you want to be treated.
#2: Never go to bed angry.
They really work. Keep it simple, and be in love. Dont judge anyone elses situation, because no matter how much they complain and they struggle, they may not be going to bed mad, and thats a hell of a lot better than some people are doing. 😉
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As it relates to the Friends' comments etc... Have you ever read Job and his friends. They were the first generation of those "know what best and comment incessantly on it"
Hmm the whole world is full of fuckin controlling freaks...
Their motto? "because I care, so you must do what I tell you or I think of you..."
Its so annoying. Im a very non judgmental person, and im always just going with the flow. I dont bother anyone and im a good listener and i give advice from my heart but i dont care if they take it. Its so irritating when i hear people are overly opinionated about my business.
If you don't want people to judge then don't complain to them or in front of them. It's really that simple. "Why dont they just break up?" or "They are so much better apart." is something you only say when you hear or witness bad things going on.
My point was, you should be able to vent to the people close to you without feeling judged. Maybe you have never been in a serious relationship to know how frustrating it can be at times... but sometimes its helpful to have someone in your life to talk to at those frustrating moments but that doesn't mean you want your friends or family hating your boyfriend or husband.
what i've noticed with people judging others' relationships is that they're usually friends, who HAVE been there for them, listening to them vent, etc. - but that is ALL they do. all they talk about is their relationship, all they cry about is their relationship, etc. their relationship sums up who they are and these friends have to hear about it ALL THE TIME. they - and i! - just get sick of hearing about it. i'm with anon - you don't want people judging, don't talk about it as much.
What boringmurderer said. It's about how often you vent, not that you vent.
I can see your point if its literally the only topic of discussion and its gotten out of hand. But that kind of falls into my disclaimer category then if its that frequent. :/