Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys


Even as a guy, I had always believed in the idea that guys are generally more shallow than guys when it comes to relationships. Guys are usually far more interested in sex than girls are and tend to care less about their relationships (at least in high school and college). But after spending time with lots of girls of all ages, I've come to realize that girls are just as shallow as guys. The vast majority of both girls and guys care about looks over just about everything else, no matter how much we try to deny it.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys

Personal experiences have affirmed the idea that girls are shallow too. Back when I was a freshman in high school, I met a really pretty girl in my class and I'd started talking to her because she sat next to me. Let's call her Jordan. She was had a cute face with long brown hair, she was smart, and she played volleyball. Just like me, she was a single freshman at the time. Back then, I didn't take care of myself as well as I do now. I had messy black hair, a 5 o'clock shadow, and my teeth weren't perfectly straight (they weren't that bad though). Although Jordan didn't seem too interested in me, we still talked almost every day for the first few weeks of the year. Over the weeks, she started acting distant towards me, and I took the hint and stopped initiating conversations with her. It continued like that for the rest of the year into summer vacation. The year after, my sophomore year, I started working on my appearance and bettering myself. I started using hair gel every day, wearing Invisalign to straighten my teeth, wearing nicer clothes, and making sure my face was shaved. She started dating a an older senior that year, and she seemed pretty happy with him. About halfway through my sophomore year, she started to talk to me more, smile at me, and always ask for my help. When I would sit next to her, she would move her chair closer to me, touch my arm, laugh at all my jokes, etc. She never did anything like this the year before when she was actually single, and when she started showing these signs, she had recently gotten a boyfriend. Keep in mind that nothing about me had changed except for my external appearance. The logical conclusion from all of this is that her opinion towards me changed only because I had become more physically attractive.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys

Beyond my personal experiences, there are plenty of examples of both girls and guys being exceptionally shallow. Some girls are so obsessed with their appearance that they'll spend hours getting ready or won't even let someone crack a window in a car, despite the fact that their boyfriends tell them they look beautiful and that they don't need to work so hard. Othere will only date guys with lots of money, expecting them to constantly buy gifts and give financial support. Then there are guys, many of whom high five another guy for having sex with a girl, but make fun of him if he says he actually wants a relationship. Guys are just as guilty of the aforementioned behavior of only paying attention to girls when they are physically appealing. There is much more to a person than their appearance, popularity, or wealth.

To make it clear, this is not to say that everyone behaves this way. Plenty of guys and girls alike look past the superficial qualities of people and care deeply about a person's compassion, intelligence, loyalty, and trustworthiness. I consider myself to be one of those people because I could never imagine myself in a relationship with someone who has an ugly personality. Again, it's perfectly fine to want a potential boyfriend/girlfriend to be attractive, but people have to look at the entirety of a person before making a positive or negative judgment about him or her. It's a lot easier to be happy when you're in a relationship with a person who is beautiful on the inside and on the outside.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Beaver19

    I think its more that we need to find our mate very physically attractive, its just that men are more open about it than women. Now for me personally I do have high standards on looks, I admit that, but at the same time I'm not a high fiving player type like you said in the post, hell I want to wait for marriage even for sex, but I still will be romantically involved with a girl I find attractive from first glance (obviously more factors later but without step one of looks it just can't happen for me) I can admit this un ashamed, in fact proudly given how serious I take relationships and that I save for something real, and don't believe its shallow but more sexual-fact is we are sexual creatures and that needs sexual attraction, good personalities by themselves make good friendships not romances.

    Now I've seen plenty of examples of looks don't matter people who were good looking dating other good looking people only and going against their own rule just saying it wasn't about looks, because you know jack the jocks personality and high fiving sexual achievement celebrations are that of a committed man. Although here is a good example of girls being just as bad as guys, two years ago my father died, I got exhaustion (clinical type not a sleep it off deal) and I lost half of my head hair in the process, made me bald even a bit on the sides and it looked sick so I opted to shave it cue ball bald rather than look like a mangey animal or like I'm 40 (there is no treatment and whats lost is gone they say) I've been like this for about a yearin October and I've lived through so many "ewww"s and "grosses" and "yuck"s etc saying how gross a bald guy is when a bald guy can't do anything about it and didn't cause it (those who don't know treatments usually don't work and the few that can cause horrible hormonal side effects) yet a girl gets upset when she hears a guy isn't attracted to a fat girl, even if its said respectfully they usually flip saying how bad guys are and they're proud of curves etc. when really most guys I know including me are not attracted to big girls its just the truth. no its horse crap. Truth is looks do matter, I admit that, both sexes at least have the urge to go for looks and most do. Looks are a required step of love, its only bad if going for looks alone to rack up a tally of sexual partners is what you're after.

    I will only tell a girl she's beautiful if I honestly think she is, (or I find her t may sound cold or harsh but its the truth

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Falling4UTC

    Oh I know we're all shallow. The human race is almost uncappable of being attracted to someone they don't find physically attractive.

    However, me personally, I don't go for an attractive guy with a bad personality. I'd rather go for an alright looking guy with a great personality. Personality personally weighsin as a big factor for me, but sadly you may have to put in a bit of effort into your appearance.

    Then again, how you maintain your appearance and hygiene says a lit about your personality. If you are unkept and haven't had a shower in two weeks, people assume you are lazy which is an unattractive quality. Being well kept shows you are on top of life, and you know what you want (at least that's what it says to me.)

    Overall, we're all at least a little shallow. Its normal, you want to like the thing you're gonna wake up to every day right?

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    • BoldEnigma

      Yeah it's definitely cool to care about looks, I mean, I know I do. It just sucks when people place little to no importance on personality.

    • Exactlyyyyy. You have to have someone respectful and kind to you. You have to click with them. There are so many other things some people do not weigh in as factors. Or people will say "he is nice, but he isn'tbreathtaking so nvm." Hey, I have gotten attracted to mannnny guys purely based on personality. I wish more people weighed it in as a factor too

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • UpperEchellon

    I have the opposite happen to me. When I was younger, I wasn't very attractive, like at all. But yet girls still acknowledged my existence, said hi, and whatnot, and spoke as friends from time to time. This was in high school, but now, in college I'm much better looking than I was before, new classy hair, nice clothes, beard on point, but now it seems girls ignore me more. Even the ones who used to wave and say hi to me in high school wouldn't look at me, and now it's like we're strangers. Other girls seem to be following that trend too. But it's ok, I've met some great women in college, and made new friends

  • bloodmountain1990

    Both men and women can be shallow, but that doesn't represent either gender.

  • Aeon_Flux_21

    Humans are animals, Animals are shallow by nature. Nothing special here and you didn't need a massive write up.

  • GrigoriYRasputin

    I only care about sexual desire. I barely care about looks.

  • WhatTheHellAmy

    Girls are more shallow than guys I would say lol

    Like 3 People
  • VampireEmpress

    I would say girls are more shallow too.

    Like 4 People
  • Rawrzz

    Maybe more shallow.

    LikeDisagree 4 People