Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys


Even as a guy, I had always believed in the idea that guys are generally more shallow than guys when it comes to relationships. Guys are usually far more interested in sex than girls are and tend to care less about their relationships (at least in high school and college). But after spending time with lots of girls of all ages, I've come to realize that girls are just as shallow as guys. The vast majority of both girls and guys care about looks over just about everything else, no matter how much we try to deny it.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys

Personal experiences have affirmed the idea that girls are shallow too. Back when I was a freshman in high school, I met a really pretty girl in my class and I'd started talking to her because she sat next to me. Let's call her Jordan. She was had a cute face with long brown hair, she was smart, and she played volleyball. Just like me, she was a single freshman at the time. Back then, I didn't take care of myself as well as I do now. I had messy black hair, a 5 o'clock shadow, and my teeth weren't perfectly straight (they weren't that bad though). Although Jordan didn't seem too interested in me, we still talked almost every day for the first few weeks of the year. Over the weeks, she started acting distant towards me, and I took the hint and stopped initiating conversations with her. It continued like that for the rest of the year into summer vacation. The year after, my sophomore year, I started working on my appearance and bettering myself. I started using hair gel every day, wearing Invisalign to straighten my teeth, wearing nicer clothes, and making sure my face was shaved. She started dating a an older senior that year, and she seemed pretty happy with him. About halfway through my sophomore year, she started to talk to me more, smile at me, and always ask for my help. When I would sit next to her, she would move her chair closer to me, touch my arm, laugh at all my jokes, etc. She never did anything like this the year before when she was actually single, and when she started showing these signs, she had recently gotten a boyfriend. Keep in mind that nothing about me had changed except for my external appearance. The logical conclusion from all of this is that her opinion towards me changed only because I had become more physically attractive.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys

Beyond my personal experiences, there are plenty of examples of both girls and guys being exceptionally shallow. Some girls are so obsessed with their appearance that they'll spend hours getting ready or won't even let someone crack a window in a car, despite the fact that their boyfriends tell them they look beautiful and that they don't need to work so hard. Othere will only date guys with lots of money, expecting them to constantly buy gifts and give financial support. Then there are guys, many of whom high five another guy for having sex with a girl, but make fun of him if he says he actually wants a relationship. Guys are just as guilty of the aforementioned behavior of only paying attention to girls when they are physically appealing. There is much more to a person than their appearance, popularity, or wealth.

To make it clear, this is not to say that everyone behaves this way. Plenty of guys and girls alike look past the superficial qualities of people and care deeply about a person's compassion, intelligence, loyalty, and trustworthiness. I consider myself to be one of those people because I could never imagine myself in a relationship with someone who has an ugly personality. Again, it's perfectly fine to want a potential boyfriend/girlfriend to be attractive, but people have to look at the entirety of a person before making a positive or negative judgment about him or her. It's a lot easier to be happy when you're in a relationship with a person who is beautiful on the inside and on the outside.

Girls Are Just As Shallow As Guys
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Beaver19
    I think its more that we need to find our mate very physically attractive, its just that men are more open about it than women. Now for me personally I do have high standards on looks, I admit that, but at the same time I'm not a high fiving player type like you said in the post, hell I want to wait for marriage even for sex, but I still will be romantically involved with a girl I find attractive from first glance (obviously more factors later but without step one of looks it just can't happen for me) I can admit this un ashamed, in fact proudly given how serious I take relationships and that I save for something real, and don't believe its shallow but more sexual-fact is we are sexual creatures and that needs sexual attraction, good personalities by themselves make good friendships not romances.

    Now I've seen plenty of examples of looks don't matter people who were good looking dating other good looking people only and going against their own rule just saying it wasn't about looks, because you know jack the jocks personality and high fiving sexual achievement celebrations are that of a committed man. Although here is a good example of girls being just as bad as guys, two years ago my father died, I got exhaustion (clinical type not a sleep it off deal) and I lost half of my head hair in the process, made me bald even a bit on the sides and it looked sick so I opted to shave it cue ball bald rather than look like a mangey animal or like I'm 40 (there is no treatment and whats lost is gone they say) I've been like this for about a yearin October and I've lived through so many "ewww"s and "grosses" and "yuck"s etc saying how gross a bald guy is when a bald guy can't do anything about it and didn't cause it (those who don't know treatments usually don't work and the few that can cause horrible hormonal side effects) yet a girl gets upset when she hears a guy isn't attracted to a fat girl, even if its said respectfully they usually flip saying how bad guys are and they're proud of curves etc. when really most guys I know including me are not attracted to big girls its just the truth. no its horse crap. Truth is looks do matter, I admit that, both sexes at least have the urge to go for looks and most do. Looks are a required step of love, its only bad if going for looks alone to rack up a tally of sexual partners is what you're after.

    I will only tell a girl she's beautiful if I honestly think she is, (or I find her t may sound cold or harsh but its the truth
    Like 5 People
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Falling4UTC
    Oh I know we're all shallow. The human race is almost uncappable of being attracted to someone they don't find physically attractive.

    However, me personally, I don't go for an attractive guy with a bad personality. I'd rather go for an alright looking guy with a great personality. Personality personally weighsin as a big factor for me, but sadly you may have to put in a bit of effort into your appearance.

    Then again, how you maintain your appearance and hygiene says a lit about your personality. If you are unkept and haven't had a shower in two weeks, people assume you are lazy which is an unattractive quality. Being well kept shows you are on top of life, and you know what you want (at least that's what it says to me.)

    Overall, we're all at least a little shallow. Its normal, you want to like the thing you're gonna wake up to every day right?
    Like 1 Person
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    • BoldEnigma

      Yeah it's definitely cool to care about looks, I mean, I know I do. It just sucks when people place little to no importance on personality.

    • Exactlyyyyy. You have to have someone respectful and kind to you. You have to click with them. There are so many other things some people do not weigh in as factors. Or people will say "he is nice, but he isn'tbreathtaking so nvm." Hey, I have gotten attracted to mannnny guys purely based on personality. I wish more people weighed it in as a factor too

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • checkyesjulietx
    Yes some girls are shallow but this is not the best example to use as you simply started taking better care of yourself. Anyone is more attracted to that than a sloppy person who just rolls out of bed.

    I think everyone should be a bit shallow to show themselves some self respect. You don't want to end up with someone you find unattractive, nor should you settle for that.
    LikeDisagree 13 People
    • There is a difference between being shallow and dating people who you are attracted to.

    • what is the difference? because in order to achieve the goal of dating people you are attracted to you may have to reject some who you don't find attractive along the way.

    • @genuinelysensitive

    • Show All
  • LittleSally
    This happens mostly only in school - grad or high school...
    -for girls

    OR there are gold diggers.

    Other girls are not as superficial as you'd like to believe. While guys - because they stay in a constant state of childhood or teenager status they always have that superficial thing with them (not all of course, but a lot of them)...

    What I'm trying to say - girls mostly grow out of it, guys mostly don't.
    LikeDisagree 19 People
    • anon4122

      So, someone makes a my take saying girls actually are not less or more problematic than guys and your response is to say actually guys are more problematic and don't grow up?

    • @anon4122 well... in my experience and from a lot of what I read from here that's a clear deduction.

    • anon4122

      Experience does not = clear deductions otherwise Andrew Jackson made a clear deduction that Since Natives attacked him they were all worthless. Same reason why witness testimony is questioned more heavily.

    • Show All
  • MysteriousFlower
    Teenagers are the most shallow of any age range and both genders, because of social pressure mixed with hormones. For the other older population it can be because of material or sexual desires, being desperate to fall in love because they don't want to be alone (or have the patience).
    However there are people of all ages and cultures who just want love, and shallowness does not have a severity range of just girls or boys, its equal stupidity.
    Like 2 People
  • Albinoninja66
    I couldn't agree more. I think the whole use of the world shallow is just as much bullshit as telling people to not judge. Everyone judges and everyone is "shallow" so why consider it a terrible thing? Denying the importance of physical appearance will never make you successful in a relationship. Both personality and physical attraction go hand in hand.
    Like 1 Person
  • genuinlysensitive
    Yes girls can be just as shallow as guys. As well as just as materialistic, selfish, immature, and just as big liars. Unfortunately our society tends to put women on a pedestal, that they are "sugar and spice and everything nice" which is why so many people don't think women can have the same negative characteristics as some men.

    The sooner we acknowledge that and stop putting women on pedestals the better our society will be.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • ManaX
    I'm called shallow about looks because i'm only attracted to very good looking men. So we date but it's not their looks that keep me there it's their personality that makes me stay.
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • thotramus

      that is right. girls in the end are attracted to guys actions. that is why they call appearance the initial attraction, while guys get attracted to looks whole time...

  • muspelhem_5
    You're misguided in thinking that women care as much about looks as men.

    A lot of guys can't get past this misconception, but if you actually look around, you'll notice a surprising number of average-looking guys dating beautiful women.

    Why? Because they have a lot of other things to offer. They're relatively sane, fun to be around, smart, hard-working, healthy, well-dressed, mature, devoted and confident.
  • PiuBelloAmante
    girls will deny this all day bro even though it's true...
    Girls are just as shallow as guys
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • LightsOff
    No shit, shallowness is a human trait and not something that's based on your gender.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Drednaught
    Well, people in general can be shallow, whether or not the shallowness has anything to do with their sex is something that needs to be studied in order to say something about it with any certainty, otherwise it's just personal anecdotes.
    Like 1 Person
  • Scrambledagain
    Truthfully, I think men are far more shallow than girls in terms of looks. Try this little experiment: Ask all your friends if they would date Megan Fox, or any other one of those hotties? I bet the answer would be a unanimous YES. But ask the same for an accomplished girl like Oprah? I wouldn't date Oprah, I don't care how rich or accomplished she is. But reverse this. Hot women are with average guys. Some may be rich, or accomplished, or other, but its that "Other' that I am referring to in this. Although looks always count in attraction to some extent, women more than men, look for "other" factors too. Even personally, I know this because I have a really awesome gym body. 6 pack, V-lines, I do rugby, boxing and weight lifting, and I cannot compete with uglier guys often. They just have something I don't. I find power... in whatever form, gets women.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • BoldEnigma

      I see your point, but I don't think Oprah Winfrey is the best example because I know that for a lot of guys, and for me personally, they wouldn't date her just because she's like 60.

  • PT1911
    More like a select few of docuhes and cunts ruin everyone so we think terrible generalizations like these.

    @justbanANNAz still keeping count?
    Like 4 People
  • Bluemax
    I really really really really really really wish we could drop the use of the word "shallow" as it pertains to looks and attraction.
    Like 1 Person
  • astroidblues
    I know guys can bee very shallow but in my experience girls are far less shallow. Quite frankly I've never heard of girls valuing good looks in a guy above all his other qualities. That girl just started showing more interest in you because you started taking pride in yourself.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • RainbowFanGirl
    When it comes down to it, everyone is shallow. Girls do tend to be more shallow though. I see it all the time at my school. It depends on the person though.
    Like 1 Person
  • indie_rock_chick
    Or ever better said, shallowness is not a gender characteristic. There are many shallow people out there, but not everyone is shallow and not just one sex.
  • tenchu11
    Nah found myself attracting beautiful woman through just being around them. At school or work, yes looks matter but I think woman take the emotional aspect into it more.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • thetundrawolf
    When a woman signs on with a man, when she agrees to go under his wing and be his mate, she must be sure, before she enters into a relationship with him and ultimately marries him, she needs to be sure he won't end up a deadbeat, leaving her living alone with kids.

    This is why women go for clean, groomed men. Men who take care of themselves. Because these men are showing, if they care about the little things, then chances are they will also take care of the larger things too, like her and her child.

    It's not superficiality. It's survival, because men lie.
    Disagree 2 People
  • miserybusiness
    I thought that was a given? Girls and guys want to date people they're attracted to. Haha
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • KAZ-2Y5
    hey its chuck and sarah in the first picture
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • BoldEnigma

      Yeah I'm a huge Chuck fan so I had hoped somebody would notice :)

    • KAZ-2Y5

      Its upsetting that it got canceled. I really hope that Hollywood makes a movie.

    • BoldEnigma

      Yeah that would be cool. I'm getting a job at the Geek Squad just because of Chuck haha

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