Being a college student I've seen plenty about how most guys just want sex and nothing more, how no guy wants to have a romantic relationship etc. Which while I won't defend ALL of my sex, (there are plenty of tools out there) there are good guys out there.
I grew up watching my father do a load of sweet surprising things for my mother; he always had these great ideas and treated mom like few guys treat their wives, especially 20 odd years into the marriage. I've always waited for my chance to get to do that for my girl, and I have a lot of great ideas and surprises in store for whoever that girl one day is. So you might say I'm the guy who wants something real, the "good guy" many believe doesn't exist, but there is a catch-in my only wanting one and something real with her, that means I am much more selective.
To be quite honest looks do matter, even to a guy like me (tastes do vary but there are some generalities) in fact of all the guys I know typically the guys more like me who aim for relationships/potential marriage have much higher standards than the guy after a quick hookup. It may sound shallow or bad, but physical attraction is a natural need and if a guy wants to spend his life with just one girl, she needs to attract him initially for her to be special in his eyes. Never tell a girl she's beautiful if you don't find her to look that way-just more heartache for her in the end; that's a saying I believe does have some bearing here, it may sound cold but it's an unfortunate truth of life.
I don't like a numbers scale but it's the only way to give context in text really, I'd say I'm a 6-7, I have to shave my head bald from a condition called TE but I regularly get cimplements on my eyes and face and even have had attractive girls strongly interested in me unfortunately just for sex which I've turned down. Still for me a girl really only needs to be lighter complexioned and be slender with a very pretty face for me to be interested, however this typically puts them in the 7-9 range anyway. Thise are are my standards and as I said I don't like the numbering system but on text it's the only way to give context really, and to be quite honest some of the other guys who want legit relationships only have even higher than me, and we are all pretty stubborn and unchanging on them.
My point in writing this myTake is two fold:
1. I don't think its right to villainize physical attraction and it's place in a real relationship.
2. Give honest insight based on my own mindset and knowledge of others as to why 'good' guys are hard to find.
Truth is decent guys do want to give all their heart to a girl, but unlike the movies, even the 'good' guy can't really look past his physical needs in the end, I'm not talking about sex but that initial attraction, so it's a specific type of girl to him.
Guys like me who turn down shallow sex and only pursue something lasting are rare I won't lie, and a lot of guys like me get disheartened by girls who are just as low as guys and sleep around etc (I'll admit in the kind we go for its common) so lack confidence making the chances of one approaching you even slimmer, and them factor in that when guys like me say beautiful we mean in physical and mental, out stabdards on both are typically higher from my experience with my own mindset and all the guys I know who are looking for 'wife material' crude term but you understand. It's an uphill battle for us too given how just as many girls as guys only want hookups etc, but I will not settle or lower what I am attracted too, as I said she doesn't have to be perfect but I need that attraction and I'm more honest than most on this. In the end guys like myself seem to have a mindset of only needing one- face hundreds of losses and only get one in the end? Victory, in our books, which is why I believe we typically have higher standards-we only need to win once and we're willing to wait.
Wait I will until I find my beautiful girl to spoil and give all too.