The Four Noble Truths: A Guide to Help "Nice Guys" Even the Dating Field

Self proclaimed "nice guys" and 30 year old single losers take heed. This guide is for your benefit. I composed it after weeks of soul searching, research, and analytical thinking in order to benefit you. There are a lot of guides and dating advice not only on this website but also all across the internet, and it would be a lie to claim that mine is any different. But for those of you willing to sacrifice 10 minutes for the sake of reading something that could potentially change your life, today is your lucky day. You may not like what I have written (if the hatred, libel, and flaming I received on my last MyTake is any indicator)--heck, the women here probably won't like it either. But if you choose not to read it, then it is your loss. Again, I am not forcing you to do anything nor am I claiming that my advice is any different, but to those of you who have stayed with me thus far, let us begin.

I used to be a "Nice Guy" not much different from yourselves. I was constantly rejected, ignored, friendzoned, and pathetic by every meaning of the word. But after a lot of soul searching and a determined effort to examine my past logically, I came to discover four noble truths which have changed my life. Now to those of you with thin skin who get offended easily, I once again warn you that this is about to get offensive and frank, but if you have stayed with me so far, here are the Four Noble Truths.

#1) You Are Sexually Worthless

Like it or not, but males are at a disadvantage from the get go. It is simple anthropology. My textbook calls it "sexual selection theory." Essentially this means that the gender which has the lower sexual output is the one that is more valuable and sought-after via to the law of supply-and-demand. All across the Animal Kingdom and in our own species, this is women. Their sexual output is children, a commodity that human women can only produce about 1 of a year whereas the sexual output of men--sperm--is in abudance since a single man can impregnate multipe females a year. This is why whether it is lions with their huge mane or birds with their vibrantly colored feathers, the male is the more beautiful creature. Males are the ones that have to pursue women; the competition is between us and us alone. Women are the ones sought-after, the one with value. Us on the other hand are sexually worthless. The sooner you swallow this bitter pill the better.

#2) Rejection is the Norm

Leaping off of my first point, rejection is not the exception but the norm. Since women are the ones sought-after and males are the ones who have to compete, rejection is the norm for most guys since women can afford to be picky. So if you ever find yourself constantly rejected, take solace in the fact that it is not personal. It is simply sexual selection theory in action. We see this all across the Animal Kingdom as well. Most males of a species do NOT get to mate as only the top 10-20% of males--"alphas" as much as I hate that terminology--tend to horde about 90% of the female population to themselves. Now fortunately we Westerners live in a society which was shaped by Christianity (for better or for worse). This means that monogamy has become the cultural norm, which in turn means that every guy no matter how much of a loser he may be has a shot at acquiring at least one mate if he plays his cards correctly. But in order to do that, you have to accept the grim reality that rejection is the norm.

#3) Women Are Primal

Ladies, you may commence the libelliousness, attacks on my personal appearance and character, and all around bitchiness since if I haven't offended you yet, I am about to now. But the truth of the matter is that women are primal. Humans may be a peculiarly advanced species, but at least on the primal level, our decisions and behavior are still influenced by evolution. What this means is that just as every man wants a fertile woman with huge breasts and a body like Hannah Davis, so every woman wants a man who possesses the Holy Trinity of Male Attractiveness: Money, Confidence, and/or Looks. But the difference between men and women is that whereas we would be lucky to get a woman half as beautiful as Hannah Davis, women due to sexual selection theory are actually in a position where they can holdout and acquire the man of their dreams. To make matters worse, women also have a distinction between the sorts of guys that they will sleep with and the sorts of guys who they will have a relationship with. Unfortunately it is the former sorts of guys--the Holy Trinity ones--who get the sex while it is the average guys and/or losers who get the "relationships" despite putting in more effort and treating the woman better. Massively unfair, I know. Probably the most defeating truth out of this list. But if you want to succeed, you need to accept this truth for what it is.

#4) Being "Nice" Alone Will NOT Get You Anywhere

Finally, do not fall into the delusion that just because you are nice and a reasonably good guy that you are entitled to something. Reality is not nearly as pleasant as the movies where the girl of your dreams magically approaches the nerdy loser at the end, and the underdog succeeds despite making no effort whatsoever. Being nice in itself will not get you anywhere, especially if you are not even making an effort to approach girls. There is a such thing as sad endings and injustice, where good people who do good all of their lives suffer a horrible ending whereas bad people who did bad all of their lives suffer a great ending. Just compare the lives of Gandhi--a good guy who was assassinated--to the life of Genghis Khan, a despot who lived a long, pleasurable life with no repercussions for his actions whatsoever. You are not entitled to anything, and being nice in itself will not get you anywhere.

But what now? Have I led you this far solely to shatter your spirits even more than they already are and to leave you left for dead? Was this entire MyTake just a lowblow kick to the groin in an already defeated foe? Of course not. Desperate guys take heed, I have only taught you these Four Noble Truths in order to prepare you for the Fourfold Path of Redemption. That is, my Four Steps (because I was too lazy to do 8) to help you make the best out of the Four Truths and even the dating field.

#1) Take Affirmative Action

If you want a woman, then you have to go out and get one yourself. Nothing in life comes easy. It will be difficult, you will be nervous, you will be constantly rejected, but if you want a woman then you have to work for one. The good news is that the more women you ask out, the easier it becomes as you become desensitized to rejection and it comes naturally to you. As stated earlier, women are NOT going to approach you since they are the ones who are sought-after, and you are not entitled to anything simply because you are nice. Life doesn't have happy endings because of virtue; it has happy endings because you worked for one. Make your own ending; take affirmative action and do what you have to do to get a woman.

#2) Better Yourself

Leaping off of my first point, better yourself. Better yourself as a part of your affirmative action. You may never be able to fully possess the Holy Trinity of Male Attractiveness in its entirety, but possessing at least one of the members is not too unreasonable of a goal to set for yourself. If you are a nerd with no Confidence, then work hard in school so that you can get a good job one day and acquire Money. If you are poor with no prospects of bettering your economic predicament, then go to the gym in order to better your Looks. If neither of those two are possibilities, then focus on increasing your Confidence. You'd be amazed at how many ugly fat guys with no money whatsoever are able to acquire smoking hot girls simply because they were Confident. So make an effort to Better Yourself, acquire at least one member of the Holy Trinity of Male Attractiveness. Be like the male peacock with all of his feathers.

#3) Be Utilitarian

As stated earlier, rejection is the norm. So while this may seem objectifying, you do need to start thinking of women more as numbers than individuals. You need to take a sort of Machievellian approach to dating. The simple mathematical truth is that the more girls you ask out, the more likely you are for one of them to say Yes. So being utilitarian means that you are constantly asking girls out and exploring your prospects, constantly looking at things in a mathematical sort of way. Remember that even if 99 out of 100 girls say No to you, you only need 1 to say Yes. So be utilitarian, get out there and start asking out women nonstop!

#4) Aim High

As I mentioned in my last point, even if 99 out of 100 girls reject you, you only need 1 to say Yes. So aim high with women, only shoot for the really attractive ones who are way out of your league. Rejection is already the norm anyway as any "Yes" is going to be an act of Divine intervention, so why not take the miracle to the extreme? Holdout and wait for a really attractive woman to say Yes. Furthermore, most average girls are just as--if not even more--picky than their really attractive counterparts, so your odds at getting a really attractive girl to say Yes really aren't that much worse. You might as well aim high. Plus, a huge part of the reason WHY so many average and less-than-average girls are so damn picky nowadays is precisely because so many males are desperately pursuing them in the hopes that their odds will be better than if they pursued a really attractive girl. Men, as males united, we need to stop this. This is a horrible trend which is enabling girls who are barely average to pursue guys who are 8s and 9s on a scale from 1-10, and enabling fat chicks like Ashley Graham to be swimsuit models who we're supposed to be attracted to. You need to aim high, take power away from the average and less-than-average girls. Aim high because you only need 1 really attractive girl to say Yes.

In conclusion, I have one final piece of advice that will make the women hate me even more. Remember men that despite all of the factors that are stacked against us, there is at least one factor which is in our favor: Time. Time is on our side gentlemen. Whereas women start off with all of their sexual value during their youth and then begin to lose it as they age, men start out sexually worthless but then acquire their value as they age. So while you may be a loser right now, you can be a winner tomorrow if you use your head and plan accordingly. Furthermore, while all of the girls may be winners right now, tomorrow they will be losers on the decline once they reach 30. This means that you CAN control your future so that you will be a winner tomorrow, and that if all else fails, you can at least settle for a lot of aging, horny 30 year old "Sex and the City" women who are desperate because they're still single.

The Four Noble Truths: A Guide to Help

Or you can settle for a fat chick like Ashley Graham (just to piss you off again after my first MyTake)

JRICHARDS1996 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nice Guy Syndrome
    A disease in which a socially awkward, unattractive, and hygienically-repulsive male with a terrible personality feels victimized by women when they don't want to date him.

    • Aim High
      As I mentioned in my last point, even if 99 out of 100 girls reject you, you only need 1 to say Yes. So aim high with women, only shoot for the really attractive ones who are way out of your league. LMFAO that ain't ever gonna work!!!

    • Show All
    • @amazon-boy Worked for my dad. You would be surprised. The hottest girls are actually nicer and oftentimes even less picky because they receive less attention (since most guys are too scared) and the little bit of attention they do get is from jerks. If you acquire at least one member of the Holy Trimoty of Male Attractiveness and are as "nice" as you claim, then your chance of getting an insanely hot girl is at least reasonable. Rejection however is the norm either way though, whether the girl is hot or average. And frankly the latter are more conceited and picky than the former since their value is being hyper inflated by all the attention they receive from desperate guys.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The male/female dynamic begins to change after the age of 30 and by 35 to 40 the power has been reversed.
    When I was a teenager and then a 20-something I could almost not get a date, because I was not a player or some version of the sociopathic bad boy.
    Young women are drawn to scumbags as moths to a flame, because Hollywood has programmed them to see sociopaths and players as alpha males. They are driven by hypergamy, narcissism and instant gratification.
    By about 30, most females gain enough life experience to realise that the bad boy who made her wet her panties when she was 20 was, in reality, a dirtbag and a loser.
    After a woman has that epiphany she begins to be interested in the sort of males she rejected when she was 20 because they were not 'fun' enough. These were too busy working, or studying and then building a career.
    The women begin to come sniffing around, in the way that sharks are attracted to blood in the water, but women discover that they no longer have the cookie.
    By the time that these 'boring' males reach their 30s, they begin to realise that there is more to life than a relationship with a woman. After all, they have gone almost two decades logging one rejection after another. It is not possible to see young females throw themselves crotch first at one sociopathic bad boy after another, all the while complaining that "all men are bastards", without forming an unflattering opinion of the female cognitive process.
    Also, a significant number of men have learned that 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce and that the courts hand everything that the man owns to the woman, then uses a child-support order to transform him into her impoverished slave for the rest of his life.
    At this point, their interest in females drops to less than zero. They become actively disinterested. Even casual dating is off the agenda, because that can lead to a lifetime of enslavement via a child-support order.
    Masturbation is an imperfect solution, but the man gets to keep his house, his business and his retirement savings. He will not be enslaved and impoverished for life by a child-support order. Nor will he be subject to false allegations of spousal rape, domestic violence, or of molesting his own children.
    So, from the age of 35 and older, it is men who have the sexual power. Women want us because we have resources (aka they want our money and homes), but a significant number of us are no longer interested in being lured into the honey trap.


Join the discussion

What Girls Said 7

  • I used to be a "Nice Guy" not much different from yourselves. I was constantly rejected, ignored, friend zoned, and pathetic by every meaning of the word.

    Nice Guy
    A badge of martyrdom. Men who spend their most of their time whining about how women “just want to date jerks”. Oblivious to the fact that no one finds people who feel sorry for themselves attractive, much less people who blame others for their lack of success. Most self-proclaimed “nice guys” are just as self-centered and misogynistic as the jerks they gripe about, they are just much more spineless. To stupid to figure why women don’t find them attractive, they conclude that in order to get laid they must treat a woman like shit.

    • "Men who spend their most of their time whining about how women 'just want to date jerks.'"
      This is the result of the problem, not the problem itself.

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    • treating women like shit is a very misunderstood concept but not ungrounded at all.

    • @fiodor99 Since i'm a "nice guy", maybe i should change and beat the ever loving shit out of my ratchet coworkers and every female around me then. It will make me feel better and lower my frustrations with women knowing I could inflict injury and harm on another human being.

      Oh wait... I've already changed. I'm just a mean and bitter 31 year old virgin and I hate humans as a whole.

      Fuck society.

  • I disagree with No.1.

    Also No 3 - everyone is primal. If they weren't they wouldn't survive. Simple as that.

  • I was agreeing to this but Ashley Graham is hot af. Whoever "settles" for her is really lucky!

  • Lol well while these may not be things anyone wants to hear everyday.. there's definitely a certain logic to their points.. A depressing reality? Sure. But youd be doing a disservice taking offense to the reality of it.

  • I like this a lot.

  • Finally. Someone with some sense.
    Actually, what you say is true in all aspects of life where you are trying to achieve something. Like finding a job. All you need is one of them to say yes. The more you apply the more likely you are to get a positive response. And I love love love the part where you say aim for the best, not the average. It's not only true about finding a girl, it's also true about finding a guy, or a friend or a job or just anything in life.
    Yes, you're right. Just being good isn't enough and won't get you anywhere. Neither in relationships, nor life in general, and not even at work (if you want to do great at work).

    I really liked your take. It's so realistic, but you missed one tiny little thing from a girl's point of view. And that is: We can't hold out indefinitely to find the guy of our dreams, not only because of the time limit we have as you mentioned, but also because we face serious competition too, from other girls who want the best. And believe me it is no joke, because as you may already know, girls don't fight fair like men do. Just try tackling one!

    • I can't applaud enough the part where you said aim up high. This might sound funny or stupid, but it happened. I had a girl friend who was just perfect in almost every way, but had a hard time finding a boyfriend, because she was shy to approach guys or back in our age in the dating field it was still not that common for girls to ask guys out like it is today. And guys were too inconfident to approach her because they thought she would definitely reject them. She watched everyone pairing off, and she was left alone. As her friends, we didn't understand what was happening either. And she ended up getting depressed, until her sister's friend set her up with her own brother. They got married, later on into the marriage, her husband had told her that when they had just met, he didn't think he would have the slimmest chance of a an actual yes from her, and probably wouldn't have taken the risk if his sister hadn't managed the whole thing and urged him on...

    • ... Pretty much just like not being hired in low jobs because you are overqualified. Which happened to myself, because I was stupid enough to think that I would get a minimum wage job faster BECAUSE I was overqualified, and I wasted TONS of time and energy.

  • I'm 30 so I'm automatically aging, horny and desperate? haha
    Not going to deny the horny bit... ;)


What Guys Said 20

  • Women are not primal. They are, however, self-centered. Like Eve. Narcissism and women go hand-in-hand a lot. That's not evolution. That's the Curse. It hasn't changed a bit since the days of ancient Egypt.

    There are such things as men that are sought after. But most women know they are unattainable. Women don't reject a man because of supply-and-demand. Each has their own criteria, not dictated by anything rational from a Darwinian perspective. I have seen it quite often, women falling for men they should have no biological reason to want.

    It is not USUALLY personal. However, women do things in malice to hurt men quite often. So each situation is different. Your take ignores the soul. My life experiences have stated to the contrary. A man should, however, take note of when it is or isn't personal in each instance. If she is reacting to unfounded rumors when rejecting a man, and then goes so far as to try to get him in trouble rather than simply decline him when he did nothing wrong, that IS personal. And it DOES happen.

    Being kind DOES get you friends. It does NOT guarantee a mate. However, discernment helps weed out false friends. There will always be those whose hearts are false, because they cannot (or choose not to) comprehend the consequences of their dishonesty.

    Advice tip number 1 is mostly sound. Never giving up matters. Save your integrity, regardless whether or not you get a mate. Because life is about more than four bare legs in a bed.

    Tip number 3 is wrong. Real women are disgusted by those who see them as mere numbers, as if they were ants. Putting them on pedestals as goddesses would be equally foolish, however.

    Number 4 only works if you're looking for a one night stand. If the meaning of your life matters more to you than that, if your vocational destiny matters more to you, then you will understand it is better to have zero partners, and keep your integrity; than to whore yourself to the world, and be thankful you landed 6 rather than only 2.

  • Yeah this guy is pretty spot on. I agree with pretty much everything. Amount the Trinity of wealth, looks and confidence - you only need 2 and you will be noticed.

    The Time thing is what I really agree. Women are like flowers. They grow and bloom brilliantly. However, once they are in the late 20s, they stare down the 30s barrel - that's when they start to panic. The fear of being alone forever while everyone else got married is the primal fear of all women at some point. Their Knight in shining armor aren't coming and they realized they can no longer be the sleeping beauty.

    For men, it's the other way around. They are chummy and generally worthless when they are young. However, once you let them age in a barrel long enough, you will get the exquisite XO - unless you fail and they are still worthless. A 40 something fit guy, a cool personality, with 2mil+ assets, decades of life experience and the style to drop a $1000 for a good dinner without batting his eyes is probably going to leave strong impression to a younger woman.

  • Not much news here and I agree with a lot of it but... I think most people missuse terms like "nice guys", "alpha/beta".

    I don't like that people have negative associations with "nice guys". It paints the picture of someone with a bad attitude which I think is not always accurate. A nice guy can still be successful with girls and the bad boy attitude is not necessary to be successful with girls.

    More importantly in my opinion is exposure to girls which mainly comes from looks and extroversion. An extrovert with looks will have the easiest but they can still be nice guys.

    In a world where silence is deemed awkward and negative, the extroverts will always steal the spotlight. Not only when it comes to girls.

  • This is going to be good!

  • Nailed it. How I wish I had read it a few years back when I really needed it. And you actually did a good job by being offensive. A man getting offended by this does not deserve a good woman anyway. Women will always hate these things.. But however stupid they sound.. They work. And if it works.. People will use it.

  • From what I've heard, a true nice guy (the nice guy that women actually want) isn't nice

    By "nice" they mean nice looking, nice wealth, nice lifestyle, nice bulge. Personality isn't that high on the list. Not abusive, but assholish enough to keep her wanting more

  • Honestly I think these kinds of things are extremely silly, but I just wanted to ask you something... if someone already IS desensitized to rejection, how would they then let themselves become emotionally invested in someone? Or do they fake it? Being desensitized to rejection seems pretty synonymous with not being at all emotionally invested in the people they are trying to get with.

    • You DON'T get emotionally invested in them, at least not at first. You date them not because you are emotionally invested in them, but because you want to learn whether or not they are the sort of person that you want to emotionally invest yourself in. Hence being utilitarian.

    • Interesting, can't they pick up on that though? Seems off-putting.

    • Or you just want to have sex with them.

  • Well it's harsh but true. Nice guys don't realize that women are just as sexually aggressive as men... and they are scared of offending women with the odd sexual innuendo. Ironically being bold enough to offend a woman seems to go a long way in the long run.

  • Well, I'm just here for the comments

  • "I've had good results with LSD. Love doesn't come from the heart it comes from the brain... or LSD"
    -Dr. Krieger

  • 30 year old single losers? hahaha get a grip boy. you are a loser if you are 30 and married with children. being single is the way of true players. relationships are for beta faggots

  • Fantastic take. I can totally relate too. I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. I have an extreme case of "nice guy" traits which has strained me for so long. I also just have terrible social skills and I never leave the house. I told myself i want to change, but it gets harder every year!
    My challenge in life: get a girlfriend, then I can die happy

  • Hahahah!!!
    This is hilarious!!!

  • This was funny. I mean human sexuality is nowhere near this simple but it was a fun read.

  • Very cool take :)

  • Nice one. Perfect.

  • 4 i can argee with because even throgh me and my ex girlfriend were forced to break up by her parents long story but she give up on me as soon ws a better guy come along. I will admit this did broke my hope in love since i know this girl half my life and i cime from a poor family single parent home. But instend of making excuse wanna know what i did? number 4 i spent over a year while impoving myself while i was brokeing. may first ill be done WIth my trade school and am learning how to drive. 80%of my money gos towides bills&school not joking... It takes me 1 hour and 20 min a day just to get to school. So please guys no bs excuses. Now 2. not sure which number but i dont choice girls basic on looks i choice them basic on how they make me feel or who they are. I was friends with my ex for 6 years before falling in love with her after hearing her sing and even then i wasn't 100% sure till we kiss. Other then that nice take... As a guy who overly nice to everyone i can back you up when u say be nice what get you anyone not just with girls but in life as will.

  • "Now fortunately we Westerners live in a society which was shaped by Christianity (for better or for worse). This means that monogamy has become the cultural norm, which in turn means that every guy no matter how much of a loser he may be has a shot at acquiring at least one mate if he plays his cards correctly. But in order to do that, you have to accept the grim reality that rejection is the norm."

    Yeah about that. Most men at best will only get this 1 women after she's been a cum rag for all the rich and/or attractive men with fading looks and now wants to settle down.

    So as a man you ask yourself. Do i want some other man's cum rag that he's done with for a mate (who will expect me to respect her) or would I rather be single.

    • You get what you put in. I don't feel sorry for you guys anymore nor do see any point in the perpetual whining. If you want at least 1 mate who isn't a cum rag, then better your prospects so that you can be picky. Take affirmative action. The fact that you're an overweight 30 year old in a trucker hat who frequents prostitutes and lives in the basement is no one's fault but your own (not you personally, but the sort of guy you seem to embody).

    • Show All
    • Well as the Take mentioned, rejection is the norm not the exception. On top of improving yourself, you have to keep on putting yourself out there and asking women out. You have to be relentless about it. Even if 99 out of 100 say No, you only need 1 to say Yes. Tell yourself that every morning.

    • Now that you bring up. Men have busy schedule and a life. No guy has the time to be asking 100's of women every month for dates because we have jobs and goals we'd like to get done before we die. Also you overestimate men having unlimited confidence.

      Just look at the way women behave to guys who try to talk to them on street that's not chad thundercock:

      That kind of negative rejection face with some women straight up lying to your ass and not being honest about rejecting demoralizes males to point they don't want anything to do with them anymore.

      So as a man you find solace in other things that make you happy after a point and say fuck women.

      Funny enough the men in japan (majority) did just that and it's now women chasing men. Some women even go to male escorts just to cuddle and get that relationship exeperience.

  • You mention "desperate women" in your post but I don't think I've ever encountered one.

    I think most women are way too delusional to ever actually become desperate because that would require them to recognize then reconcile both their chances and their desires with reality... something they're incapable of.

    "I don't need love or sex because I have 3 cats, and I'm an aunt!" Really? Sure, if you say so girls.

    • They exist. I had one from Okc ask me out in the first message she sent me and asked me to come out for a drink, literally 4 nights in a row.

    • @bloodmountain1990 I'm only speaking from experience, maybe you're just a really desirable guy? She could have just been an alcoholic too with anxiety about drinking alone, plenty of those do exist.

  • Nice guy is a manipulative male that forms friendships with females under the false pretense that it won't be a sexual relationship. All the while actually lusting after the female. He is then generally confused as to why the female goes after males that are open about their desires, and blames the female when it is his own fault for creating a friendship when he really wanted to date her.

    • I understand this point of view. I think I'm guilty of this a little, partially subconsciously.

      The way I look at it, I don't see how I would approach any woman I'm not already friends with. I wouldn't expect a single human being to say "yes" to a date or relationship with someone who they hadn't established even a short history with, so I always start with being friends. Of course, I have female friends, it's not like I have no genuine interest in having a platonic relationship either (that's why I don't feel very guilty). I just see the starting point as we're friends, so I'm always gonna go for that.

      What is wrong about this approach? Am I starting off with a terrible assumption? Is it acceptable to go up to a girl you hardly know (maybe have just met once or twice, or maybe never have at all) and ask them out? I always thought this came off as creepy.

      By the way, it's worked before. I don't expect it to work a majority of the time, but it's just what I'm comfortable with.

    • @gjack905 love can not blossom in the absence of that initial spark or instant chemistry that many people expect to feel. If the girl doesn't feel the "spark, chemistry, butterflies" you know where the boundary is set.