Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again


Date Fakers and Flakers! Don't get stood up again.

“You’ve got mail,” says my cell phone. I closed down my twitter account, and immediately looked at my incoming. “Ah, a message from that one girl on POF!” I scurry to get to a quiet place, so that I could read her message… Great! She responded, so now I respond in kind. After a slew of emails, and about three days, I ask one of the most important questions one could ask.

Me: “So It seems that we are hitting it off here, could we meet off site, say at like Starbucks?”

Her: “How about we stay on here for awhile? So, what do you like on television?”

Me: “Well, I rather meet in person, so good luck with your dating experience.”

I hit send, with a smile on my face, and bit of pride in my heart, because I did not fall for the Reluctant Buyer, The Date Flaker, and the Definate Maybe!


Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again

To date or not to date that is the question- Wisenguber

Regardless if you shop online for your new mate, or you go in person to browse the market, one thing is for sure, once you see something you like, you must try it on. Wait now! I am not talking about sex…that’s another MYTAKE entirely, but what I am talking about is actually dating someone, getting from the phones and into the Starbucks or Dairy Queen for a meeting. I hate when I buy something in person or online and I don’t get to look at it in detail, or read the specs and study the minutia of the product. Before you buy shoes you should try them on at least once, to see how they look on you, or to see if they rub against them bunions some of you have… In dating it is the same…

The girl in the example was not serious about meeting me, maybe I stroked her ego, and she like the attention. Maybe she was bored, and needed someone to talk.

Possibly, she didn’t feel good about herself and decided that if I saw her in person, I might jump in my car and peel off leaving her coughing up exhaust!

Or Maybe I was a place holder, a just in case her number one draft pick didn’t pan through.

Whatever the reason, or excuse, it wasn’t valid, and if you are one of these people, STOP wasting peoples valuable time. If you want to date, date!!! Don’t get online or put yourself out there with the intention of being a TEASE!!!


Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again

The Definite Maybe is a person who can’t seem to make the date. Many times they give you the definite maybe ploy…These dater’s likes to schedule you for a date or outing but with the auspices that there could be a possibility that something might come up. So you would have to continue to verify day by day to see what comes of their availability; if they can be reached. For Example:

John: Hey, there is a movie playing at the multiplex on Tuesday at 5:00 pm, I would love for you to go with me.

Jessica: That sounds great! I would love to go!

John: Okay, so we can meet at Hill Shire Mall at 5:00 pm at the food court.

Jessica: Yeah sure, but just let me check my schedule, I may have to run late for work, because my boss wanted to go over some much needed paper work…I’ll keep you posted.

Do you think John actually got that date? Possibly, he could have but in my case…I didn’t I was John once, and I know I am not alone. John probably would find a four leaf clover in a field of dandelions before he got a date with Jessica.

I can tell you John called to see if she would be available the day before. I can also tell you Jessica never answered. Were you surprised? The day of the date John called again, and it turns out she was very busy and would get back to him. Ladies and Gentlemen Jessica is not playing fair. John shouldn’t have to wait by the phone, wondering if he is going to have a date or not. John should have never called her back. Once Jessica said these key words… “Sure John BUT! Let me CHECK! My schedule because I MAY! Blah blah…bye bye I’m gone…

Be aware of key flake words my friends and move to the next available suitor. John should have said,

“Jessica never mind I please take care of your business you’re your boss and I will catch you some other time.”

Ladies and Gentlemen don’t play around with false daters….Beware of Wolves In Sheep’s clothing. The woman that I am dating this instant is a busy professional, HOWEVER, she makes time for Mr. Wisenguber, she has never given me a “Maybe Let Me Check.” If a person likes you they will help you, period!-DOC LOVE


Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again

A Flaker is a person who does not meet commitments-Urban dictionary

The Flaker is someone who will agree to the date, and even initiate setting the date themselves, and then not show up!

In my example, subject Jessica will not give clues to let you know they won’t show up. These people are the hardest to detect unless you decided to continue to deal with people like this, then you will have a pretty good ideal that 75% of the time they will not show up.

So there I was email number twenty, she seems to be fairly nice looking, it appears we are having a good conversation on the feed, so why not ask her out. She accepts and immediately I set a date a week later. Very specific with time, date, location, and even provided directions and phone number to the Starbucks incase something came up. She provided me her number, and I gave her mine. The date was set… However the night before, I received a text stating, she might have to change the time. So naturally we agree on an earlier time. I never asked why, really not my business. As long as she reschedule the date for a another time or later slot I was fine with the amendment. Then the day of, she informed me she was getting her hair braided and if it ran late, but never the less she was still going to make it.

I let her know, that I would be fine with a phone call if she can’t make it. She acknowledged and I understood the date was still on.

I show up right after-work, tired then a five dollar hooker, with a broken heel and no bus fare; but I am dedicated. I walk in, and grab me some wake up juice, sit down looking around like I lost my teeth in a poker game. I text her:

“I’m here.”

Crickets chirping, but not my phone. Fifteen minutes goes by and so do I …

An hour later I get a text:

“I was getting my hair done, and ran later then anticipated.”

I smirk, shake my head, and sip on my Java. I gently place my phone back on the charger, and take a deep breath… Moments later another text came through:

“I guess I messed up our chance to meet, huh?”

I erased her number all together, and never contacted her again….

People she had a week to get her hair braided, I scheduled a week in advance to make sure her schedule was clear… All of a sudden the day before she is amending the date schedule, why? Low interest, low self-esteem, or BETTER DATE came up, and I got ditched! If this ever happens to you, set your heart to either reschedule with the person immediately, or cancel the date yourself because these are clear signs of reluctant daters.


Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again

In my conclusion my GAGites, my current relationship, which at this moment is magical, if I told you the whole story of how we met, you would think it was from some romantic comedy…. Let me just brag for a bit….this beautiful woman, hurt her knee, had to go to the urgent care, received a leg brace and still limped into Starbucks to meet me. Can I just tell you, since then we have been having a blast. Can you imagine if I would have wasted my time with those Reluctant Buyers, Flakers, and Definite Maybe’s?

Hey GAG brothers and sisters, I would like to thank you for reading my articles. If you like this article, please follow me, and check out my profile where you can find more MY TAKES like these. Happy reading!

Date Fakers And Flakers! Don't Get Stood Up Again
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stacyzee
    Very understandable.
    We all want to make a transition from a text buddy to someone you know in the flesh. Someone that seems as if they're not up to meeting when they know what the site is about , is something that wants to waste your time.
    There's so many different other methods people will take to waste your time , sometimes as hard as we try to avoid it will still get caught in that Web.
    It's best to shake the negative feelings off and move on , sometimes it is not about the situation itself but rather how you feel with it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Stacyzee

      *how you deal with it.

    • Exactly! There are people out here who downright condemn online dating. I mean there's so much hope, there has to be someone like you out there, you sure need to meet that person, it just helps to widen your horizon.

    • Wisenguber

      Thank you very good point... I met girls who just wanted to text... I told one girl, even the characters in You've got Mail even attempted to meet at least twice! Never heard from her again... ah goodwrittens chica... next. lol

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • red324
    This is good to know. All my dates were super excited to go, but then usually like clockwork about an hour before I'm going to either pick her up or meet her at the date location, she ends up texting me with some excuse saying she had to go to work or something. I've heard them all. The worst one was she had to go to the emergency room with her sister cause her kid was all of a sudden sick and her sisters husband is out of town, so she wants to be there with her. This is what i've experienced with about 20 different girls.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Wisenguber

      Yes sir, we all have and unfortunately it sucks for good people who are trying to meet, but I learned is patients paid off... here I was about to throw in the towel, and met an awesome girl, who came to the date injured... now broken dates are a mortal sin... never forgive them, unless they are willing to reschedule, and if rescheduling becomes habitual cut your losses, put no more sweat equity in that. Thanxs for reading.

    • red324

      That's the difference, if she likes you she will make the date happen and not make excuses.

    • red324

      If you're talking to a hot girl, obviously you're going to setup a date with her and set aside your plans, I'm thinking a girl would do the same. She will reschedule her girls night out if she really like you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • theegreat017
    My best friend says that we should let time pass and decide. I don't know if she'll ever love me because she says she not sure. But I love her, there are some solid reasons for her not saying yes right now, but i would have liked to have her.
    • Wisenguber

      I don't want to come off negative, but in my experience unsure behavior is concern for not interested, many women are nice, and dont want to hurt feelings, however, you did say there is more to it... but looking at outwardly I say try to move on, and let go... cause it may end badly... good luck my friend.

    • I just hope that doesn't happen, but i will keep that in mind.

  • becca123
    Excellent MyTake. If more people understood these nuances, maybe they wouldn't bash online dating so much.

    These same people exist in real life dating, too.

    I am currently an online dating success story, but I have both been exposed to and inadvertently BEEN these types. Once I realized I woukd make an excuse to not see someone, though , I'd just cut ties rather than keep contact. Sometimes you just aren't "feeling" it. I've never stood someone up, though. That's beyond unacceptable!

    Nice job with this.
    • Wisenguber

      Haha yes, thank you... congratulations on you finding online success... I must admit I too disappeared when I wasn't feeling it... or like now, when I found someone, there was no need to linger, thanxs for reading.

  • FatherJack
    Good take , Sir !! I would have done exactly the same with the " hair braider " , deleted her texts / number & instantly dismissed her !! I won't be going through this however , as a single dad , dating is out of the question , do not have the time , money & most importantly the inclination ( too damn tired mostly as also work FT ). Besides no woman will want a 45 yr old single dad anyway !!
  • Azara
    I agree no one should wait for a phone call... But that's basically very popular way of asking people- esp wonen- out. Getting a number. Or worse. She asks him out , so he tells her he'll call her.

    So are you against people asking for numbers? As in if they are interested then just make a plan to meet. It's just s meet up so you don't need preparation. You want to if you don't. No phone calls needed other than to make sure details are set.
    • Wisenguber

      Thanxs for reading, yeah asking for her a number is really not necessary for me, if were meeting at the coffee house... my phone is filled with crazy, women I wasn't attracted to... plus I find women are uncomfortable with giving their number out... so I agree, just a coffee date.. leave numbers to the SB and particulars of the date, and if you like the person decide on it then... but no not against them, just think its good business.

    • Azara

      i agree. :)

  • MusicMayhem
    Good read, I hope more people take this approach to dating. If these flakers realise they can't play people anymore, they'll hopefully learn to treat dates with respect and dating will become more positive for all involved.
  • skykidx1
    Yea their is nothing waste them people not showing up for a date or waste your time. that's why if someone try bs me at all... I just move on with out a word.
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    I will play with your username and say wise take, all very true but just one tiny thing - There exists a group within the "Reluctant Buyer" section that are genuine, why do I say that because I am one myself, I would not commit myself to a date unless I felt I knew the person very well whether it is shyness or a sense of reserve or just a belief in having a connection that is another debate but I have dabbled in online dating and one of the things that always freaked me out was "Hi", "What's your name?", "What do you do?", "What are your interests?", "Let's meet, you better not be messaging anyone else".
    • Wisenguber

      I want to thank you for your comment it is always welcome... my issue with reluctant buyer is that RB s spend too much time building report with them and then you see them in person and you are not attracted to them... or have anything to talk about.

  • Anonymous
    Seems like to find love is better to stay off dating site? Good luck with your new relationship!

    It's good that you out those flakes and definite maybe to list so people know what's going on.
    • Wisenguber

      Uhm I would say... online dating is not bad, I support it... I met my current date, online and we have been hitting it off pretty good, soon I feel she may be my girlfriend... here's hoping.

    • Anonymous

      There are people who met their husband and wife on website, there's definitely hope.

      Just speaking of my own experience. I often run into commitment phobes online. (The ex I was talking about on other Post) Hope it's different this time (the taking it slow and busy guy)

    • Wisenguber

      I think you might have giving me my next (My Take) haha... thanxs

    • Show All