On August 17, 2016, a date that will live on in glory, a milestone in my life occurred:
A female finally said "Yes."
She gave me her phone number, added me on Facebook, and expressed interest in going out.
Asking finally paid off.
As some readers may recall, only days ago I published a similar MyTake titled "An Honest Look at What I've Learned From Rejection." It told about how I was rejected yet again by a coworker whom I had a massive crush on, and articulated the lessons I had learned from rejection in general. Well, little did I know that my time of mourning, grief, and sorrow would be succeeded by a time of gladness, joy, and peace. Who ever would have thought? That like life proceeding from a symbol of death as in Christian theology, the acceptance of one would proceed from the rejection of another.
I am a happy man. A happy man indeed. Because for once -- just once in my life -- I was not rejected. More than that, I was actually accepted. A girl said "Yes" and I have entered the world of dating by force. I have entered a stage in life that I was barred from for so long. I have reaped success. It all started a few hours ago, at around 8:45PM. I was working my night shift at the local grocery store, ever the faithful courtesy clerk. Still in exile after my recent rejection, the night was uneventful to say in the least. Nothing interesting had happened, and I longed to return home to eat.
But then I met another coworker.
This one was 17 years old, a college student, who, like me, had graduated high school a year early. Her name was -withheld- and she was very beautiful. Arguably even more beautiful than the first coworker who rejected me. She was blonde and petite, which are precisely my tastes. And she was in my department at the front end, taking a break in the cafe. Normally I would have just let it go, and drudgingly performed my job like any other day. But lately I have been on the prowl, constantly asking women out because I realize that mathematics is my only hope. I am never going to be Chad Thundercock. So my only hope is mathematics. I have to ask out so many women that eventually one of them will have to say yes per the laws of probability.
And boy am I glad that I did. And surprised as well.
I was not expecting a "Yes." In fact, I was still recovering from my recent rejection. Expecting another rejection, and resolving that things could not possibly get any worse, I decided to do it. Putting on my orange vest to gather shopping carts from the parking lot, I unenthusiastically approached this girl and asked her if I could have her phone number, explaining that I thought she was very pretty and would like to take her out someday if she was interested.
And to my amazement, she said Yes. She had actually said Yes.
I could not believe my ears. For the very first time in my short, 20 years of existence I had not been rejected. A girl had finally said Yes to me. In the blink of an eye, I had entered the world of dating by force. The world that I had missed out on in high school and longed desperately to enter was now mine for the taking. It finally came. It is here for me. Completely blown away by her answer, I fumbled for my iPhone where I added her number and then, thinking on my feet, asked if we could be Facebook friends and she actually said Yes to that as well. The rest of the night was spent socializing with each other, exchanging compliments and learning about each other. At the end of her shift, approximately 10:00PM, I walked her out to her vehicle where we exchanged one last smile, and then I stood in the parking lot a happy man, knowing that in a single night, I had entered a completely new stage in life. I had entered the realm of romance and dating, finally after so long.
The feeling was, metaphysical, for lack of a better term.
Imagine that feeling you get when a rollercoaster plummets, you are free falling, and for just that brief moment in time, everything in the world is right, and you are the happiest person alive.
It was like that, but to an even greater extent. And unlike a rollercoaster, it was not over in a few seconds. Rather, it continued for the whole rest of the night. It was the happiest I had ever felt in my entire life. To men who are Chad Thundercocks and women who by default are in a better position than men, it may not seem like much. But to the average guy like myself, it was life changing. It was a metaphysical and conceptual overload, something that I would have never been able to comprehend until it happened. For once it was not just in my head, for once it was not just my orgasmic masturbation fantasy. It was real, and it was here: I finally received a "Yes."
It was like being high, though I have never been high so I would not know.
I spent the rest of my long shift working at 150% until finally it ended around midnight. I bagged groceries faster than I had ever bagged them before, I escorted old ladies to their vehicles, shot the breeze with my bosses, and swept the floors like a man with a mission. I was on a whole different level, that metaphysical high that I can only liken to a rollercoaster ever in the pit of my stomach. I worked with a smile on my face, because in that one brief moment in time, everything was just right.
I reached the summit. I climbed the mountain against staggering odds. I accomplished what every bitter neckbeard and self-proclaimed 'nice guy' never thought was possible: I received a "Yes." Not from an overweight and/or unattractive girl way below my league, but from a thin, petite blonde girl who is very beautiful and out of my league. Not from an aging promiscuous woman who finally wants to settle down with me after being used by Chad Thundercock, but from an innocent young girl who rides horses and blushes whenever I compliment her. I did not need to resort to prostitutes or mail order brides, nor did I need a million dollars and a body like Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. I was able to do it by being myself, and succeeded through years of effort and self determination.
Overall I learned two things from this experience.
First, that just because one door closes, it is not the end of the world. Reaffirming what I stated in my previous Take about rejection, you have the option to either wallow in self pity or to move on and take affirmative action. I opted for the latter, and in the end it paid off because I was able to capitalize on the new door that opened. The second thing I learned is that failure is a choice. With hard work, determination, and an unwavering resolve, you can accomplish anything. This is what separates me from the bitter neckbeards who lose all hope. Instead of allowing failure to break my resolve, I utilize it as an opportunity for improvement. I take the appropriate steps to produce a better outcome the next time around. Doing so has prevented me from becoming like this:
More than anything, I credit this success to my mother. Were it not for the fact that she has loved my father so much throughout the years despite being incredibly out of his league, I would have no faith that a beautiful woman could ever truly love me for who I am. My mother is the definitive living proof that the 'nice guys' are wrong; that there is reason to be hopeful, that you can acquire the woman of your dreams if you work hard enough and do not ever give up no matter how difficult it is.
That is precisely what I did. I kept trying to improve myself as much as possible, and more than that, I forced myself to overcome my nerves and go out of my comfort zone. I kept on asking beautiful women out until finally one said Yes. And it worked, it actually worked. My toils finally paid off. The great irony is that if it were not for my previous rejection, I never would have been able to experience the sweet fruit of acceptance that just recently occurred. In order for a new door to open, the old one had to first be closed. This is an important lesson that I will take with me for the rest of my life.
Another irony is that this occurred before I had a chance to see all of the advice I received about not asking people out from the workplace. If I had seen that advice beforehand, I never would have asked this new girl out. And thus, I never would have received my first "Yes." Not seeing that advice until after I had rather recklessly decided to ask this girl out was the single luckiest mistake I had ever made in my entire life. I can thank late hours at the workplace for that. They prevented me from frequenting GAG as much as I would have liked, and thus from seeing said advice. In conclusion, while this victory may seem small to most readers, it is still a victory nonetheless and therefore worth celebrating, especially to an average fellow like myself. Even if this relationship never goes anywhere and/or does not last long in the end, it is the significance that counts:
It means that receiving a "Yes" is possible.
If I was able to receive a "Yes" at least once, then there is no reason why I cannot receive one again at another time. It proves that while difficult to attain, success is possible and that I am on the right track. It is the validation for all of my hard work and efforts. And for that I am grateful, and will celebrate this victory among the future victories that I now know will eventually come.
What was it like the first time you ever received a "Yes"?