I know universally, neediness or clinginess, is stereotyped as a bad trait for both genders but I want to dig a little deeper (mainly focusing on girls, as I don't know too much of it in guys but please, do give me an insight!)
I believe it is an unfair label. I was speaking to one of guy friends, and he revealed that he quite liked it when a girl acted a bit needy as it reassured him, she liked him and it made him feel more masculine, protective etc. No games, nothing. He's a confident guy, so I was surprised when he told me this.
Now, this made me wonder; is neediness therefore a "feminine" or even a "submissive" trait, seen in "feminine" girls or can it be applied to both genders? When I say feminine, I mean girls who are not afraid to be girls or is this trait found in all women? Personally, if a guy exhibited needy traits I would find them sweet in minimal doses but exhausting if it was too much, as - from a woman's standpoint - we biologically expect a man to show strength. So maybe, neediness or clinginess, is more acceptable in women?
Obviously, we are all different and unique. I believe there is a wide spectrum to neediness and how it works psychologically. Society will dismiss someone as "needy" as insecure, but what if its just a behavior exhibited by a girl when she has truly fallen for a guy? My guy friend is referring to the latter; yes it's an ego-boost to have a girl crazy about him and he reciprocates her affections but there is of course the former; the extreme form of "neediness" which is when a woman becomes insanely jealous ... therefore just very insecure.
So in conclusion, perhaps a dash of neediness is okay and even welcomed; it's just about achieving that fine balance. Not all of us women can be "confident" and live "fulfilled lives" like going to the gym, helping out in soup kitchens, or working on self-improvement etc etc and whatever nonsense I have researched on articles across the internet.
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