I'm so emotional and women don't like emotionally weak men. I cry more than once a week because of the past memories that haunt me. There are nights where I cry myself to sleep. People these days are not empathetic enough to help a man who cries.
2. Don't like guys who are too tall
Yes, it's true. I'm 6'9" and up and I have first hand experience of this. Some girls told me it's because I'm too tall. I have never met anyone who told me it's attractive. This limits my dating pool because barely any girls are interested.
3. Want kids and want a guy who also wants kids
I don't want kids so this limits my dating pool.
4. Don't want a guy who isn't 100% straight
It seems like a lot of girls would be turned off by a bisexual guy but I'm not sure how many women would be turned off by a guy who is 90% straight. At some point in the relationship, I would have to feel comfortable to tell her all my secrets. I don't want a woman who is disgusted by that.
5. Don't want a guy with mommy issues
Girls advise each other to not date guys who have bad relationships with their moms. I neglected my mom and a girl who has seen this advice (on the picture below) would think I will eventually neglect her too. This makes me look undesirable.
Number 3 applies for me also. It's gonna be very difficult unless the ratio number of women and girls that also don't want children are about even on par with men and guys that don't want any children. But I think they're scattered all over the world. You might find one eventually that don't but then there's your other issues and insecurities that might make it very difficult to impossible also. They become emotional barriers.
And even then just because the both of you are certain and agree that you don't want any children you are still different people and the both of you may not have much or anything in common at all.
I've been single for long enough that dating and relationships have very little to no meaning to me at all anymore. I think the last time I tried I was in my mid 20s or something, remember my real age is NOT 19 or whatever it is that is displayed in my profile. Eventually I looked deeper into it all and realize it's all but a bunch of lies and delusions, just the work of hormones that want to sucker us and get us to reproduce only because we will eventually die one day in the very first place.
I feel that if everyone marries and procreates just to keep this system and cycle going then that's just their choices, but I refuse to agree or ever conform since my views are much more cynical and pessimistic knowing how everyone that ever was brought into existence here will suffer and then die no matter what, so I just can never agree with it.
Instead, I don't even want any kind of deep emotional attachments anymore since I just know that there's no point in holding on to somebody when I know eventually either you will lose them or they will lose you no matter what. So I rather just let them go and I would advise anyone that ever got close to me to just let me go for their own good and don't bother to hang on to me. I don't even bother investing time to hookup or any of that shit, although I had thought about it before but I also realized that I wasn't fully up for becoming a hedonist that pursues frequent casual sex either. In the present, I'm celibate, and I know it will remain that way indefinitely.
Number 3 limits my dating pool. I wish more girls didn't want kids either. I honestly don't like the idea of one night stands so I might turn celibate one day. But this whole thing makes me wish I was gay instead. Lol look at the influx of people trying to be nice and the girls, who I don't know, telling me that they'd date me... I honestly doubt that they read all of what I wrote. I wish I didn't allow opinions. But I appreciate your opinion because it's actually insightful.
I rather be 100% asexual feeling virtually no sexual attraction or desire at all anymore, more robotic, but I can't. The hormones are still going to be there and their effects apply and I can't simply tear them out of my brains and body because they're like critical system files that can't be deleted and removed in an operating system.
As for wishing you were gay. It's either you are or you aren't gay, it's not a choice. Just like how I rather be completely asexual and not feel ANY sexual desires at all, it's not a "choice". It's either it's there and there's really nothing you or I can really do a damn thing about it, or that it was never really there. Theoretically by using various drugs may greatly suppressed and reduce or kill the sexual desires, lust or sex drive, but still. Think some antidepressants if used for long periods of time or something can cause all the urges and desires to dissipate or something, but that would only do more harm than good in the long run though.
I rather be not feeling any lust or sexual desires at all because I feel they are just distractions that I really have no need for. And I do not agree with the whole genetics system that goes with procreation and reproduction because of it's inherent flaws. That is aside from existential reasons, and my more cynical and pessimistic outlook on the way things are in this world and reality altogether. I'd still believe I rather save someone the trouble they otherwise must and will have to face once they are brought into existence in this world and because I find that unfair and unethical as they never asked, demanded or ever wanted to come into this world in the first place. And just sometimes people are not able to handle the miseries and troubles they face in this world, but that's usually when they will totally give up and end themselves, I wouldn't want to have to deal with that kind of possibility of losing someone that I had created so I made my choice to not have any kids.
No woman would fault you for distancing yourself from a mother who's crazy, abusive, or both.
Plenty of women would appreciate -- even treasure -- being shown the sensitive side of you. The key here is that SHE -- among a very select few, and perhaps even she alone -- is the one you ENTRUST with that. You can't go around the world being oversensitive ALL the time... you just can't. This isn't a man thing; that wouldn't work any more for a woman than it would for a man. In both cases, the world would just eat you alive, spit you out, and not even burp. BUT... If you can go through life like a champ, and then share the more sensitive stuff with someone who MEANS a lot to you? Oh yeah. I mean... dude, that's pretty much the whole point of this thing called relationships.
i would date someone despite these all these things tbh my opinions? 1) men should be allowed to express their emotions more freely, so i wouldn't mind. i'm an emotional person myself and bad memories? i have them too, i wouldn't mind comforting a lover who was having a bad time 2) i like tall guys 3) i don't want kids either 4) both of my exes have been bi, hell i'm not even completely straight! i'm biro-demi, as long as my lover accepted that, i could give a damn less what their sexuality is! 5) i don't talk to my mother either, and i don't base a person's character on how they treat their parents my mother was abusive, i don't talk to her at all, i know firsthand what it's like to have a shitty parent who makes your life hell, if anything i'd understand and would be as supportive as i could
so chin up dude, if i would date a guy with these tendencies, i'm sure i'm not alone :) sometimes i feel like i'm never gonna get a guy cause i'm not a super skinny supermodel but that doesn't stop me from trying
I don't know about other girls, but none of the above bother me. 1) Even though I like tough, positive guys, I also like a guy who's honest about his emotions. It makes me want to help. If you're never sad or angry or anxious, it makes me feel like there's nothing I can do for you and that lowers my general attraction towards you. 2) I love tall guys! I have a celeb crush on G-Eazy who is super tall and that's hot. 3) I love kids. I teach kids. If a guy is good with kids, it's very attractive to me because it means you'll be a good father. 4) I absolutely support the LGBT community and I have nothing against bisexuals at all. It would not bother me a single bit if the guy I was dating was interested in men and women. 5) I don't give a damn about the guy's relationship with his mother. I know a lot of people feel like parents are significant in relationships, but to me they're not (no offense, parents). It's not their relationship, it's ours. You have nothing to worry about! You seem like a great guy.
Listen boy, there is not such a thing as "I'll stay forever single". You just don't realize how unique and great you are and it makes want to slap you so hard for that. First of all, there is a lot of girls who are into sensitive men, besides... We all know that even the most though guy out there is a cry baby in the inside and women appreciate it when you share your vulnerable moments with her. It'd make her feel like she can be there for you and help you to smile even more and that'll lead to a great love story. Second, how tall you are only makes girls want you more, I don't care about some statistics drawn on paper, how us girls feel towards men isn't just statistics AND we love you guys not only for your height so don't worry. Plus, I find your height very attractive and hot... And there is a lot of girls who share my opinion. Third, if you don't want a baby, that's OK, it's your choice, and girls will accept that... Besides it's not like she'd want a baby the first year after meeting you... And if anyone doesn't want you for your sexuality, ditch that cunt... Whether it be a boy or a girl, you deserve better than a judgmental freak in your life. And last, you family problems shall not affect your relationships, not many girls think that way... It's just the tiny minded minority who judge people upon their personal lives rather than who they really are.
Please realize how amazing you are and how many girls will want you if only you give yourself a chance... You will shine. Someone told me once, ' Your heart beats for you 24/7, and no other heart does the same... Doesn't it mean that you shall start loving yourself? " I'm sorry if it makes little sense but I translated as clear as I can.
My guy doesn't want kids, is on the sensitive side, doesn't get along with either parent (but respects his mom very much), and he had struggles with his sexuality (he's probably bi... he tried dating a guy but they broke up). We're kinda on a break/waiting to see if this will really work now because of a lot of things but I love him anyway. I do want kids but we're both adventurous so I'd be content with just traveling with him and being best friends as well as husband and wife. We'll raise dogs together instead lol
A 6'9 dude having a pitty party? Come on man. Most guys would kill to be that tall. Get it together man and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Look at all the blessings that have been handed to you, rather than just narrowly focusing on the bad. We all have bad that I'm sure we could rant on for days but its not healthy or productive. Werent you also that guy on here last week ranting about what you dont like about other guys. These negative rants are unhealthy. I'd go to a councelor or something. Try looking at your life through a much different lens.
You're truly blessed to be that tall. However there are some women who don't children as well (including myself). There's actual dating sites marketed for those people (if you're interested in online dating).
As for the overly emotional stuff, I'm only speaking for myself, but I know I can't deal with a man like that. Tried it plenty of times, and I feel like I have to walk around eggshells. No offense at all, but I'd say a therapist would be the best to talk to if this is a persistent "issue" in your eyes.
The bisexual tendencies conversation tend to put (some straight) women off because naturally she'll think "does he think that guy is attractive?" etc etc.
But if it's so important for you to divulge all those "secrets" to someone, I'd suggest dating bisexual women since they'd be understanding in that aspect.
Number 1 is a turn off for me but it isn't that bad. Number 2 is perfectly fine for me. Number 4 is a huge turn off for me but I can still find a way to life with it. Number 5 is perfectly fine for me. Number 3 is a deal breaker and that, not anything else, would prevent me from dating you. If you don't want children then ya there's nothing to talk about.
Different people have different goals in life and different outlooks on life. It's entirely understandable. I told him that just because even if he had found someone that don't want any kids either, that still does not absolutely mean they are the right person for him, although that is the pool of people he'll be limited to if he still wants to continue and try to find "love" or marry or have a companion or significant other. And that is if he even wants to continue to try, I myself had learned to just give up a long time ago on this whole "love" thing, as I believe it's just nothing but the work of hormones.
Just because they have that one very important life changing decision set in their mind, they can still be very different people with completely different goals and interests in life.
Same goes for you, even if you had found someone that DOES want children, that reason alone still does not guarantee that you had found the right person for you.
I am a huge believer in there is someone for everyone - One of my most common answer on here is don't concentrate on the negative but think of the positive - You never know if you can do something or not until you tried it - Setbacks are just there to make the good things feel all that better.
I get what you mean. Despite all the bad crap that's going on, we can't completely let all of that drain us. We have to keep moving forward, because that's all we can do. We can't sit there on our asses all day to mope, cry, bitch, sulk and then Expect to feel better or that things would get better for us as that's the Guaranteed way for things to not get any better at all, for ourselves. Besides we only live once, so why not just go out there and explore the world and have as much fun as we can, WHILE we still can?
Because if we solely concentrate on the miserable and do absolutely nothing but dwell on it then all we would end up doing is bitch, cry, moan, sulk, mope, "woe is me" as time continues to move forward and those moments continue to pass and won't come back, when we could have just used them to enjoy and explore whatever this world has and whatever time we had instead. It's not efficient to use our time and effort to focus so much on the negative.
On the graph you included, the difference between 6'9" and 5'5" is incredibly negligible, maybe a difference of.1%. furthermore, the supposed ideal height only makes a woman 3% more likely to contact you, according to the graph. I seriously doubt this alone has made your relationships fail. If a girl were truly interested in your other qualities, they would most likely be willing to overlook your height.
Don't feel bad, I'm barely 5 foot 6 inches myself so our odds are about even with the exception I'm a girl :P I personally love tall guys, so don't lose hope!
@AriadneSky When you're 21 it kinda does.. Usually women my age are quite taller, but then again the average for girls is only like 5 ft 4 or something like that
So you're in the same boat as me, a 5'7" guy. Suck it up. At least you never have the classic "I'm taller than you so I'm bigger and better than you" stated own with other guys.
Not to mention basically every single girl ever is feasibly datable, unlike 6'0 girls who would never ever date a 5'7" guy, and honestly I probably wouldn't date them either.
Saying you're wrong is pointless, because most women would want the opposite of this... But - it's important to note that not ALL women want the opposite - so you might find someone...
My first condition is that I will love somebody only if they want kids , because I love kids. I can even go for a 7 ft tall woman. They should be 100% straight and love their mom.
I have seen some of the ugliest douche bad idiots walking around with hot girls, some as dumb as rocks, some broke as a joke, how hard can it be to find a girl?
Are you hot? Do you work out? Do you have money? That's literally all you need for a girls attention. Just get those 3 things sorted out and bam you could have any woman with just the snap of your finger
But pessimistic feelings and thoughts can be controlled, he just have to learn and realize that he only live once, so why not just go out there and explore the world and have as much fun for as long as possible? Life's shorter than we think, better to enjoy it while it last for us. Because we can't do that anymore when our time is up.
He can give up on many things if he want but I'd advise him to not dwell on it, and find out and figure out what he CAN do, instead of what he CANNOT do and have no control over.
Number 1 he can work on. It seems he has lots of sadness within. It's alright people cry all the time, especially if they fucking lost somebody really close to them or seen some really horrible shit that has happened and is for real, well typically anyway.
Number 2 he can't do anything about, that's genetics, he's been dealt this hand and is taller than average. Would be great to take advantage of that and use it to play basketball or help shorter people that need to reach for something that aren't able to. Why not put his height to good use?
Number 3, me and him are the same for this. But it's going to be difficult. I'm more certain than he is being about twice his age in real life. But he might change his mind or he won't. Otherwise he can try looking online such as https://www.yeschildfree.com/
Or he can try here: https://www.idonotwantkids.com although I hope there will be a substantial increase of these type of more serious dating and committed relationship and apps in the future so the crowd of people that don't want kids will have a better chance of finding a suitable partner, that is assuming they haven't completely given up on finding someone altogether.
I don't know about Number 4, but again it's something I try to explain, in regards to sexual orientation, it's NOT a choice, it's either you are this or you are that, and it's nothing wrong with it, because everyone is different. Though some people will argue about this and debate about it, but I don't really care. But I think he shouldn't worry too much about this, as again it's not something he has total control over. He is what and whom he is and he can't be what and whom he is NOT. He just need to find someone that is legit and is understanding and open minded about it.
As for the last one about a poor relationship with his mother. This is something he can have control over and do something about, and do the best he could to improve the relationship he has with his mother. He just have to try and do something about it instead of thinking nope this relationship I have with my mum fucking sucks or that I hate her and wish I never have to talk to her and see her again. It's still family, he can work it out somehow, as long as he did his part, but his mother will have to work with him on any differences they two have always had and work on compromising any disagreements that they may have, etc.
@JudgmentDay Yes. It's not like he cries everywhere he goes. He plays baskeyball He can hide about being a bi And relationship with his mother doesn't matter. Not everyone's mother is divine. And I don't think that girls really think about this.
He could just try and create the illusion that he and his mom get along just fine if he ever got himself a date or girlfriend that ever wanted to meet his mother. As long as his mother is willing to work with him for that. It's not like they are going to be living together all under the same roof when they are dating and in a relationship, so it shouldn't be that big of problem. The biggest deal breaker out of all of them is still number 3, but I already posted links here that may help. And sometimes people do change their minds about having or not having children altogether. I myself wouldn't because I look at the bigger picture and for existential reasons, where there are lot of things I realized that I and most of us have no control over. He will just have to keep looking and try his best at finding a companion he can get along with that have similar and common goals and interests along with meeting the criteria for number 3.
Otherwise it wouldn't work because that is a big deal breaker, and would cause conflicts of interest no matter what. I also heard that couples that don't have and don't want children are actually more happier than those that do have children. There had been research and studies conducted on this before.
But someone can debate and argue that these research and studies are biased by the researcher's own prejudices and their often self-selecting nature of participants.
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