Our Bright Internet Dating Future

[pavlove]

I've long struggled with the decision...to swipe or not to swipe. Yet, it's recently occurred to me that while it's still in many ways in it's infant stage, Internet Dating is the Future of All Dating.

No, real life face-to-face dating will not go away. But it will cease to be the main way people meet each other. Why is this? Utility? Longer work hours in most professions? No, it's the potential...

People swipe or send messages or like a story or whatever it is the app or site is using as its special way of connecting people. Most people don't take it too seriously and those that do often have one or two major things they're hiding. But, again, that's because it's in it's infant stages. It obscures the potential to change the face of dating entirely...

Think about it...say you go to a four parties a week. Regardless of gender that's probably 1-10 real opportunities to meet someone. Think about if you're a friendly person and tend to either hit or get hit on during the day at like a coffee shop or a park four to five times a week. Let's even say you're either a really hot girl or a "pick up artist" guy. You have maybe ten to twenty people you meet on your day off and five to ten people you meet when you're working. I think you see where I'm going with this...

If you know how to use macros and you know how populated the major dating sites are you know the numbers are astounding. With a macro you can send an initial message to oh lets say two to three hundred people in ten to twenty minutes.

That's two to three HUNDRED people!!!

If you understand how to apply the process of volume to everyday situations you realize that even if you're not some of their types, even if a lot of them aren't your type (it's actually very easy to send messages only to people you do find attractive) even if some of their catfishes, that's still A LOT of ATTRACTIVE people to talk to in ONE DAY. And with internet dating ONLY GETTING BIGGER there's no end to the volume.

Let's up this some. Internet dating has it's hardships, but it also has it's easy things too. For instance, with a good understanding of lighting angles flash and posing you can take really good pictures. With a good understanding of what types of pictures the other gender tends to like you can take really relevant pictures (usually sexy/sweet for girls and funny/handsome for guys) Then let's say you are really creative then you can fill out bios VERY WELL. Then lets say that, again, you understand enough about the opposite gender to understand what they like (bios that aren't overly long and also a lot of shared interest for girls and bios that are light and funny but also showing that you took the bio section seriously for guys) then you'll actually raise your response rate by a HUGE PERCENT!

And then the final point, MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE TOO GOOD FOR ONLINE DATING. So what does this mean? YOU HAVE WAY LESS COMPETITION ONLINE THAN YOU THINK. If you're a normal fairly attractive person you're a lucky find. The problem isn't attraction so much as obscurity and boredom. But, again, all problems are solved by VOLUME VOLUME VOLUME

So that, there, is our bright internet future.

[Fathoms77]

I haven't come to any conclusion about what online dating is doing to male/female relations.

On the one hand, there's the same negative impact all faux communication - i. e., interacting via screens as opposed to face-to-face - has on social norms and general ability. You can write a novel about yourself on a dating site and include every tiny detail that comes to mind, about who you are and what you want out of a relationship and life in general, and it still won't convey who you REALLY are. That can't happen until you go face-to-face. Furthermore, the whole process starts to feel more like a cattle auction, as it's almost begging you to consider quantity over quality.

On the other hand, there are pluses. It can be (note: CAN) a lot safer if people take the necessary precautions. It can be private and anonymous and you can arrange a first meeting very specifically, so everyone feels comfortable. You also bypass the standard nerves associated with approaching someone for the first time, though I think overcoming those nerves is a big part of social growth and sort of essential.

Then there's the geographical/logistical element. I think those in urban areas don't need online dating anywhere near as much; I'd never use it if I lived in NYC, for example. Don't really see the need there. But people who don't live in a large, populated areas, with a decided lack of social events, gatherings, hot-spots, etc, can find it difficult to meet people, and the days of "social mixers" or singles dances or whatever are long gone. Let's not forget the risks of trying to meet people at work, too, which, up until a short time ago, was one of the most common ways people met their spouses. FAR too risky now, especially for men.

Pluses and minuses. All I know is I'm not that anxious to start it again any time soon. :P

[pavlove]

lol check back in five years brother and see if the people meeting their partners online hasn't exploded expontentially

[Fathoms77]

Um... I'm sure it will be so. Not really sure where I said it wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

I am 25. I don't date online or offline. I plan to date when I hit 30, and by then, I would just hire a team of high-end matchmakers to make dates for me. :P

[cmale123]

By time you hit 30, you probably not attractive as use to be. The quality of men is shrink once you lose your look. As men get older, the selective they will be. The matchmakers can't guarantee you anything

[Opinion Owner]

@cmale123 I think the aging process is part genetics and part lifestyle choices. Both my Mom and Dad have aged extremely slowly compared to their peers. So, I can afford to be 30 and still look like in my 20s.

[NexAngelus]

going out of ur way to date is one thing, but u are probably one of those girls that guys ask out and u want nothing to do with. when u get 30, u dont think u will have issue with dating, since u missed all that "potential" soul mates just because u were stubborn. the number of people i meet that won't date till there old and wrinkled is beyond me... its STAGGERING! seriously. what is wrong with this generation? well hope u make a lot of money in careers so u can import a husband from another country, as that will be ur best bet.

[cmale123]

You are testing your luck which is ok but even prettiest girl make regret. Where all good men go that question a lot women ask. A prince charming doesn't show up that often. If miss your chance now, you might never find one. Other thing is having kid. 30 is almost at your limit and we not stupid having that in consideration

[bcromartie]

"MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE THINK THEYRE TOO GOOD FOR ONLINE DATING. "

I'm not sure I agree with this. A lot of anecdotal reports state that women tend to like only a very small percentage of the men who post online and most of them are in exceptional shape. It might or might not apply to women but I am more concerned about the implications for men.

As for volume the entire reason why our modern relationships fail is specifically because everyone is thinking in volume. You swipe left and right, sometimes just all right because you're bored, and may or may not get a match. If not it hurts your self-esteem. If you do it doesn't mean you actually found them attractive as well. The problem with volume is that it is the basis of "settling"; you message 200+ people but you'd only be compatible (truly) with maybe 20? If that? So now you have the mass system expressions basically causing you to trap yourself in thirst for what turns out to be empty attention.

However it is undeniable that you are correct. Dating would have to suffer globalization eventually and so it is. Making money off of the poor judgment of others is relatively easy when it comes to love and people are so enamored with the number of choices that, while completely overloaded, they feel content with the situation. They actually choose too many people because they all sound good even if not a one is actually good for them. Unfortunately this means that people are now in greater danger than they ever were within dating; you were significantly better off when you had only 10 people at a party than 1,000 at your fingertips and for women I know it is a terrible state; men by the droves will vie for the attention of one female BUT also vie for the attention of multiple females, sometimes that 200+ figure, so ultimately they aren't focused on any given one. This in and of itself is deception; you really never know who is on your potential mate's radar and really where you stand. In real life, in a room of 100, you can at least see your competition and make judgments.

The nature of online dating makes it easier, so it is the future, but I wouldn't say that is really a good thing for humanity. A lack of insight into a person's past, personality and general behavior are all disqualifying factors that cannot be mitigated online but are in person. Because you're right, creative people can write great bios and anyone can take flattering pictures but none of this is a reflection of the truth of the situation.

[Kkaos]

It depends how you use it. I've never swiped right on tons of girls at once. I'm very selective and first they've got to be attractive, and then there's got to be nothing in their bio that turns me off and if they pass those 2 things then I'll swipe right. Max I've ever swiped right on in one time was probably about 5. From there if we match, I'll talk to her for a little bit and ask her out for coffee or something sometime so we can get to know each other in person and from that point it's just like the formation of any other relationship.

[bcromartie]

Responsible use though doesn't hit 200+ people with a generic "I think you're pretty" message. I'm not saying responsible use isn't possible but like all systems you're going to have a Freerider Issue or a Tragedy of the Commons. One of the two.

[rjroy3]

I think it all enhances dating life for those that go out to meet people if you use it to connect to people. Stories offer up a sort of commercial into your life and who you are. If someone watches your story over a period of time they will feel closer to you in the beginning, before having even met you.

That accelerates the get to know you process, when you are in person. So in that respect I don't think it will lessen dating in person. It could even expedite the process if they already follow you.

If you're not using a story or it looks boring. Then when asking them out they are more likely to say no, because either they don't feel like they know you or they feel like you won't get along. Either way you still saved time from making plans, driving and wasting money on a not so good date.

All depends on how you use it.

[red324]

I don't know... I do all my dating online because I have no social network, but I'm discovering time and time again that most girls online have no business dating. Most of these girls are way too busy working or going to school and that's pretty much all they do. Oh and they eat and sleep. If a girl actually made time to go out in public more often she wouldn't need online dating. Or the other side of the spectrum is that they have some kind of anxiety or some kind of commitment issue, so if the date goes well she'll still make some kind of excuse that involves not being able to see you. Just my experiences.

[Anonymous]

Online dating has become quite the norm nowadays. When I started using it 5 years ago, it was frowned upon, and I used it less when I went to college and had more opportunities to meet women in person.

While it has been convenient for me to get a lot of dates, and a few hookups and flings here and there, getting an actual relationship has been the biggest challenge. I'm not desperate for a relationship but I'll know when someone's match and when one isn't.

The worst is when you have a date, you hit it off and kiss or make out and have them suggest seeing you again, only for them to flake/ghost.

[pavlove]

True. That is something lacking in online. Problem probably being just the nature of online dating is very non commital/ low investment

[NexAngelus]

did i read infant stage? somewhere? dude i was pioneering internet dating when u were still peeing in ur pants. the shit is over 10+ years old and was fairly common even then for anyone who knew how to use a computer. its just bad luck that more and more stupid people figured out what a fucking power on button is and now stupid macs tap into the internet.

[pavlove]

lol. i didn't know bro! I didn't know! I've really just seen the truth less than a week ago. i was posting up a random pic and saying random "hey" or "whats up" when i was bored then i took it seriously manipulate the systems and have tons of numbers daily from pretty attractive girls i'm still at the stage of "what could this be..."

[NexAngelus]

ya it was much better years ago. now too many what ever the hell they call it shitty guys pollute the system. everyone thinks u are a player or just wants ur money... back to the stone age and asking girls out. i ask out way more girls in RL than i did 10 years ago. not even joking. it was like order a girl back then. dates every weekend. by the way even girls ur own age are a pain in the ass so its not like going low or high is making it special :( . just sucks compared to what it was.

[pavlove]

i guess i'm lucky on the one hand then for not tasting that fruit. but that's' why now it's got to migrate to things like snapchat and instagram dms rather than tinder etc. its tough because both those apps are pretty gay but i see potential in getting really really hot girls

[NexAngelus]

if u are ok with playing the mom field... thats a free market :) i could never do kids though and i won't lie to them about my intentions lol

[JohnDoe3000]

Online dating gives you the ILLUSION of choice. You're really better off going to those offline parties. Meeting 20 people offline gives you better chances than swiping 200 people online, unless you're only interested in hookups and are a (at least somewhat attractive) woman or a very, very attractive man (and have the pics that emphasize your looks and some, real or not, adventurous, active lifestyle).

[pavlove]

I'd agree with that comparison but comeback with the fact that meeting 20 single people even if you go out to the club that night is unlikely plus if you consider just the sheer hours spent you can't even compare

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Yes i know how to do that writing VBA clicker macros and have an idea how to do it passing java script to the sight probly more selectively and also someones actually created a plugin to do that more accurately even judge the profile photos. I guess they built it to use and now there selling it on for profit.
But there's really no point if your profile doesn't looks good not to mention the moral issues.

[pavlove]

lol how does it judge a profile for attractiveness? that's crazy if it works.

and yeah you're right. it's about the content of what you're saying about your profile and of course about your pictures. the only thing again is that the internet lets you reach out to so many girls its like being a door to door salesman versus being able to inbox an entire city. sure, the door to door guy is going to make a more personal connection and his success rate with be much higher but he's limited so much by time. with macros i can literally spend five minutes opening 50 girls profiles and then have the computer send out individual messages in a another five minutes then go about my day and not think about it again until the following morning.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

I assume it's an algorithm detects symmetry picture quality looks for a few traits associated with attractive profiles and weighs them against each other.
I heard it can also customise the messages somewhat based on what they wrote in there profile.

[ChromAzonyx108]

"With a macro you can send an initial message to oh lets say two to three hundred people in ten to twenty minutes."
Sure you can roll the dice over and over until you get your desired result or you could find a dice with fewer sides.

"... then you'll actually raise your response rate by a HUGE PERCENT!"
What, like one percent?

[pavlove]

lol no with that many permutations there's no dice with few enough sides to beat the odds

lol no more like I don't know 15 to 20 percent on EACH person you message

[Saoirse_Nua]

I think I agree with you that online dating will play an ever increasing role in the dating world. How much it affects you is up to you as an individual? - It will range from people going all in to people still being wary of it. To be honest I don't know my full view yet, I kinda just keep it as an option at the moment.

[castratedwhiteguy]

Wrong! Just check the statics. 90% of the people on dating sites are actually guys. Desirable women don't need to go through the internet anonymous bullshit display in order to find a boyfriend. The can find plenty of real guys who'll chase after them at school, at work, at church and at the gym. Mostly losers troll the internet hoping to find a trophy wife. Sad but true...

[cmale123]

What a insult to to a lot guy. Online dating give guy choice but doesn't mean desperate for one. Same thing with girl

[castratedwhiteguy]

@cmale123 Online dating is the lazy man's way to loneliness

[pavlove]

@cmale123 dont' even bother arguing. This attitude is actually a good thing. Every guy that has this attitude (unless he's lying) is one less guy for me to compete with while in the meantime more and more normal and attractive girls are trying out these apps.

[Anonymous]

Your forgetting that it is, well, pathetic.
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[Phoenix98]

Meh I prefer face to face above all else, but I will admit the online thing does allow you to connect with a lot more people which lets you have more options that you normally wouldn't have.

[10dsw]

I kind of like it. I've gotten two girlfriends off of Tinder and POF. I also met up with some pretty cool chicks.

There's a lot of scummy feminazis and blue haired bimbos though. I can't imagine what some of the guys are like.

[cmale123]

What ever. Online dating is not best way to meet girl. Going out to talk to girl is different than sending message on online. Real life you get experience with girl and online don't

[pavlove]

lol i love how you just say your statement without any reason behind it at all. guys on gag are getting dumber and dumber by the day

[cmale123]

You want reason, social skill is one thing that many in our generation lacks. Meetings and getting girl in real life required. You can get rejected and handling rejection. You figure how to impress people and gain people interested. All that is not online dating. Online dating you can send messages to every girl, but do you get rejected? Do you have to walk to her impress her? Probably not

[Kkaos]

That's a fair point. Personally I aim to meet girls in real life and online. Maximize my opportunities and improve my game.

[Luci92]

It may be the future, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[Anonymous]

Hence, young men why you need to up your looks. This reduces the dating game on the woman side to tinder where 90% is pics.

[Anonymous]

Internet dating will bring out the same type of interactions as you would in the real world. That type of interaction is important and in my opinion much more valuable than the type of experience you encounter online.

[Adigelunar]

nice post-0