Respecting, Loving and Valuing Yourself May Leave You Single

[LittleSally]

What? How come?

You know what? I can honestly say there is something to this, but not what you might think by it.

It is this: if you love yourself you'll never see anyone as good enough for you (or you'll rarely meet a person like this).

What I mean by this is - if you value yourself you'll demand that other person to value you just the same. You'll want true love and true respect, because you're used to it and you know how to recognize it. You value yourself over a mediocre (or bad) fleeting relationship and just having one for the sake of being able to say you're not single is the stupidest thing you ever heard of.

Now...if you don't love yourself you'll let everyone walk all over you for 'love'... You'll do anything, go anywhere, trust anyone, take anything...for 'love'. And you might never actually be able to recognize real, healthy, love. This could, very possibly destroy you as a person - emotionally and physically.

Remember: You first definitely need to love yourself before you can expect anyone to love you in a healthy way. So...whatever you do, work on your own feelings towards yourself first and everyone else's second.

[Soulife]

Hmm I see Where you're heading with this... but I have to say that although I do agree with you that self love is crucial for a healthy 'loving' relationship, I have to also point out that what we call 'love' is something completely different from what love really is, so to speak. I guess I could start by saying that love is only real when unconditional. If it's not unconditional, it's not love, it's business. So, besides of loving yourself, so then you can love someone else and have that person love you back, you gotta make sure that the love is not for a reason, but for nothing in return... because... why not? :)

Self love... it's a term that we also have to consider when playing with the wonders of humanity (idk if positive or negative, anyway, it doesn't matter). Humans now, as I observe in society, have become egocentric, which might well be because of the confusion between the concept "self love" and "ego". Now, people (and myself) have been caught in another fallacy! (Oh humans! We never learn, do we?) Now we feel like we're prestigious or privilleged for having lovely blue eyes, when in reality, we miss the whole point. The privilege, the real privilege, is that we have the ability to see. Self love comes from being thankful for what you are, and not being egocentric for what we have or possess.

Let me make my last point. Love and relationships are not my cup of tea, for the time being. (I'm not a player, however) But from my very very limited experience, there's something really interesting I read about. It mainly says that there are 3 "you's".

1. ME: the little voice in me that says "oh I'll clean up the kitchen for her, because why not? I WANT to do this for her because it makes me happy to see her smile."

2. EGO: "I'll just leave the kitchen dirty and won't bother doing it, as it's her job anyway, since it's her mess" (something along those lines)

3. US: "I'll do the dishes so she doesn't get pissed. It'll be better, as I want our relationship to go well"

I guess we all chose which one of the three we want to be :)

Great take, by the way. Just felt like adding (a rather large) amount of information to it, because why not let people "know" more? :) hope you didn't mind it! Thanks for the take :)

[Adigelunar]

great take

[Jjpayne]

interesting concept. I must admit, I find myself wanting to get the best girl, but I really should be listening to this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk

If beauty and the beast has taught me anything, true beauty is on the inside.
beast had pride and only after is pride was broken did he meet the girl of his dreams. Holding high expectations can only hinder you. Seeing any girl as the girl not only gives you more options it give you the ability to find the right girl the first time.

[jameson187]

100% wrong. If you don't love yourself you'll settle for bullshit relationships. If you love and repsect yourself you'll want to be love and respected back by an S. O but by no means do you "demand" them to have the exact values. Go back to the drawing board on this.

[LittleSally]

What I'm taking from this is you've read little to none of what I wrote...

[jameson187]

What did i miss? You said in the beginning "if you love yourself you'll never see anyone as good as you or rarely meet a person like this". Totally wrong.

[mrsingle]

Yes and I'm single but other people don't like I value myself

[Saoirse_Nua]

Great take - Yeah self awareness does definitely aid your interaction with rest of the world