Why Don't Guys Want to Pay for the First Date Anymore? (Page 3)
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thank god... i was beginning to lose hope with this site.
Really nice take, and im glad that this was written by a woman, because when men voice these arguments, we apparently need to man up and deal with it.
Thanks :)
I really don't get the big deal. Are women that fucking cheap? Just split the damn bill.
Yes.
if you act entitled i won't pay , i won't give you the time of the day and i will actually do my best to take from you, if you are nice, caring and genuinely dont even care about the money most men will galdly pick up the check ( it shows when we ask you to go somewhere cheap and you make all kinds of excuses to go else where that is much fancier )
If I may add something, my school psychologist told me she wants me to be a gentleman and she taught me all these things. cutting to the chase, I did things like open doors for women and some would give me a "wtf is wrong with you?" look. That's one reason why I stopped being a gentleman. And why is that girls say: don't do these gentleman things it's demeaning!" But it stops when free food comes to mind doesn't it?
Exactly and that's what of the points I bring up.
One**
there is the shadow, basic, way of looking at it "people are greedy" which is kind of true but not the right answer. My personal stance, and not my stance on why other people lean one way or another, is equality. I think that bills should be split or alternated on dates. Doing things such as one person being tickets and the other popcorn at a movie for example make more sense to me. Why should one person, male or female, be the only one paying.
On a more radical note: similar to prostitution. Paying for food, movie, etc to further ur chances of sex. Or if not for sex it is still effectively bribing someone to like you. SHARE THE ECONOMIC LOAD PEOPLE. or don't if both of you don't care
Yep that is what I said
i meant shadow not shadow by the way
Whoever asks pays... or you can just pay for yourself anyway. I wouldn't want a guy to pay for me the 1st time I met him! I would want him to do that after he's my boyfriend. Him paying on the 1st date is creepy to me. Or not creepy, but I wouldn't like it since it comes off like he wants some big commitment. It'd scare me off.
Yep! You guys can figure that out yourselves when the time comes. :)
Honestly for this to be such a serious/sour discussion in American dating is so sad and unnecessary
I don't know why it's such a big deal haha
My pain.
Preach it sista! I've always subscribed to the notion that if I ask then I pay. If there's a 2nd date then the lady owns it, lock stock and barrel. This way here, I'll get to see whether the woman I'm interested in can/will pull her own weight IF we ever move towards a relationship. I was raised to be a traditional male but I don't have the time, $$$ and resources for an extensive and expensive courtship. I'm all for equality but the ladies don't see to want any of the responsibilities just the privileges and opportunities.
I find the take interesting.
I agree on that last point especially! IF A GUY PAYS FOR YOU, IT'S MOST LIKELY BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU AND WANTS YOU.
Women need to understand if a guy friend pays, he is indicating interest. So it's your move at that point and you should flirt and go for it if you like him. Don't lead on or just ignore what just happened and leave the poor guy hanging. Obviously this applies the other way as well if a girl paid for her guy friend.
I don't get how many women don't seem to get a guy likes them. And that pua's then proclaim supposedly that guys who don't pay and do not even offer are the ones who get to sleep with women lol. Surely not paying indicates you are not interested in the girl romantically or sexually?
Sigh, sadly the loud crazy bad people who are in a minority are wrecking the dating world
This is the best fking article i have ever read about this subject. Its like im seeing my thoughts on paper. The fact you're also just 18means you're really smart and ahead of your time. Ladies, take notes here.
Thank you. Just my honest opinion.
1. Women wanted equal pay, they have it now don't expect men to lose more money than you.
2. Women can just use dates after the guy pays for it and not need to commit to a relationship
Yes exactly. :P
Why don't guys adhere to the social contract of yesteryear?
Well, women's half of that social contract included not having another man's kids, not having had more miles of dick run through them than Usain Bolt has run, and weighing what the FUCK ALL of you OUGHT to and VERY EASILY CAN weigh.
Gee. Wonder why.
Let me guess... you didn't read the take? Try reading past the title because I was actually DEFENDING your right to not have to pay for women. ;)
You sound bitter.
No, I did, and I caught that. Throwing in with it, as it were.
@lambdoor I am. Extremely, rightfully and justifiably so. It shall never cease to entertain me how the opponents of those who opinions such as I do believe that the admonishment of, "You sound bitter," is the linchpin to the defeat of our well reasoned arguments.
A crime against all of humanity has been committed, for which even if those guilty of it were held to account, even those born ten years hence will never know a world that should never even have been able to be aware of such a circumstance as daily living with it. A crime the perpetrators of which decry all the victims of it of the very crime they commit daily with no consequence.
Young lady, if you were stolen from, and the authorities did nothing, and the thieves daily paraded their ill gotten gain of your property, you would never accept as valid the dismissal of your complaints with the admonishment that, "You're just bitter."
feminism has masculinized women and feminized men. The modern man might also expect women to fight their battles too.
Personally, I will pay the bill and expect that she will spread her legs when she gets home and if she doesn't like that arrangemnt, their are planty of women in other countries who have been raised correctly
I think for first dates especially, each should pay for their own meal/bill.
Yeah 👍
Pay for your own. It's hard out here. The first date is iffy. What if I don't want to go on a second date with you again? A guy just paid for a horrible or boring date. You don't know what you're getting. If it's the second or third okay Mabey. Whoever is insisting at that point
Personally I wouldn't really mind sharing the bill - even for the first date.
But most guys would just turn down my offer anyway.
It is equality for me - not sure how all the other guys would think. I heard that some even treat it as rejection/friendzoned.
As a traditionalist, I think men should pay except Dutch for expensive venues like concerts and sports.
As a "Libertarian", who ever asks, should pay.
Hey, you do you. You don't have to listen to me. I was only giving my opinion.
i don't mind paying for the first date, but sometimes i can't and need to split it, otherwise, you know, we can't pay. i'll usually offer to pay for it though, if she wants to split it or pay it herself then i'm okay with that, i may ask if she's sure, but if she gives the go-ahead then it's all good, a really nice take by the way. a little one-sided, but i know you were targeting a specific problem.
A question that should be asked is: how many men are interested in a first date, or any form of interaction with women?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xB_zyG3oHshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_ncaeqxhYgEvery day, more men walk away from the plantation and go their own way.
I never paid, its cause I wasn't on any date in my 29 years ☺
Its funny that you're expecting anything for free. As if a man made so much money.. but why the woman shouldn't pay? Being mostly passive expecting everything, doing nothing? I have no xperience in this. Sometimes if you pay the woman thinks you're needy, deoending on her personality
Honey I was defending your right to not have to pay.
Np honey ☺