4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

If you refuse to pay for our first date, you can take a hike.

I'm tired of all these guys making a zillion excuses for why they shouldn't treat on a first date. All it shows is that you're LAZY and CHEAP. Well, even if you're neither of these things, that's the impression you give a woman, whether you like it or not. Now, I'm all for equality and I do believe a couple should split expenses when they're together. I even believe in the idea of separate finances between a married couple, if they both agree that's how they want to do things.

But I think a man paying for a first date is a must for several reasons:

1. You're making an effort

4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

I know money doesn't automatically translate to anything emotional or "real," as they say. But you should still show your date that you can and will do nice things for her. You should put a crowbar in your wallet and simply pay for the woman's dinner, if only to show that you mean business. You're there because you really want to be and you have no problem paying for a few things. I'm no gold digger. Most girls aren't. I'd just like to see a little effort on our first date, that's all.

2. It gives me a clue that you're financially stable

4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

Obviously, paying for one simple date won't tell me how much money you've got in the bank. Maybe you don't have much at all and you're just splurging on that one night (which is really kinda sexy, by the way). But if you don't have any problem paying for a nice evening and you never even once mention the possibility of splitting the cost or whatever, it's a little hint. It's telling me that I won't be the only person contributing to the financial stability of our relationship, if we're going to have one. I work hard and I expect you to as well, so you better ante up because I'm going to.

3. Every now and then, we girls like to be pampered

4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

And you know it, so you pay. Like I said above, I certainly don't think the man should always pay, nor do I think he should be the only one paying for gifts and social events. Hell, I've been known to buy some extremely expensive gifts for my man, and for no other reason than I thought he'd like them. I believe in equality - real equality, not this feminist bullshit - and I think a couple should be splitting things most often, but to kick things off, a woman wants to kick back and put her feet up. I'm not saying the guy should be a slave on the first date but there's a big gap between just paying for a date and being a slave. :P

4. I'm traditional, so sue me

4 Reasons Why I'll Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Pay For the First Date

Yeah, I know. The word "traditional" has become totally taboo these days. We've reached the point where most people - typically the raving liberals - equate anything traditional with something stupid or even dangerous. For me, tradition is important and I have my reasons, and I'm allowed to have my reasons. The leftists may desperately be trying to kill free speech (and if they have it their way, any freedom of expression that doesn't fall in line with their so-called "tolerant" environment), but if I like the idea of a man paying for me on a first date, I can do so.

Yes, I can.


Most Helpful Guy

  • >> 3. Every now and then, we girls like to be pampered

    You get that privilege when you're not just some random woman out for my wallet and otherwise use "tradition" to hide your entitlement, saying the reason why you deserve free food is because you have a vagina

    I kinda hope the next dates you'll have, the guy will realize how dehumanizing you really are and excuse themselves to the bathroom and never come back so that you have to pay for the thing yourself and see what "responsibility" looks like first-hand

    • Yeah, I agree. Well spoken!

      And even then she isn't in danger because there will always be a mangina out there, who thinks dropping money on women is "cool".

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    • Lol. I think the men should pay on the first date, but not for the sake of being “pampered” or “financially stable”.
      I personally think it should go back and forth, the man pays for the first, the woman takes the check the second time and so forth.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. You're making an effort - Because god knows it's only the MAN'S duty to show he is capable of making an effort and being interested, even though us girls agreed to go on the date and therefore are clearly interested as well and subsequently should be willing to put forth the same amount of effort we expect from men.

    2. It gives me a clue that you're financially stable - Because that's what's truly important when you get to know someone. You know, because simply talking to them and getting to know them (where their job would eventually come up in the atypical dating small talk which is a clear enough indication that he has his own income) would be too difficult.

    3. Girls like to be pampered - Because we're apparently princesses who expect absolute strangers, or men we are just getting to know to throw free shit at us instead of leaving those expectations until he has a good reason to, such as by showing him we are a valuable partner and maybe inspiring him to do these things of his own volition, instead of expecting it.

    4. I'm traditional - This is ironically the only one I don't find flawed. If you're traditional, cool, but as long as you're okay being a traditional girl (cooking, cleaning, etc, etc) then you can want a traditional guy. Otherwise, you're a hypocrite.

    All in all I mean no disrespect but you didn't sell the concept to me personally, and I listed my reasons why I find it flawed.


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What Guys Said 112

  • I love this. I'm a guy who believes in guys paying for the date, or at least the first one like you said. I have NO problem with this. To me it's something a guy SHOULD do. It's just gentlemanly etiquette, and I really do not see the reason for argument like all the other guys here.

    • This girl is an idiot, I feel sorry for whatever man ends up with her.

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    • They want free sex. But obviously some girl is dumb enough to give them effortless sex with no commitment or even no pampering. 😂😂😂😂 but they are bitter so they can't be getting too much.

    • @Kuqezi You're such a fucking idiot. A stay at home wife or mom is already fulfilling her part. In the end, it's up to both partners to determine what's right for them. Not some lazy, feminist fool.

  • Every now and then.. what a joke, you girls in the English aristocracy mold don't look at guys who don't pay for you.

    You speak for most US girls, though the younger ones know better, that guys their age are simply not going to put up with Jane Austen any longer.

    And maybe the younger girls don't want to be paid for so much!

  • highly entitled article.

    gentlemen : This is the type of woman to avoid. she's a taker, a ME ME ME girl and will only waste your time AND your money.

    plenty of women believe in give and take and don't think like the person behind this entitled article. avoid women like this at all costs.

    • note the "financially stable" bit.

      it tells you right off the bat this woman is not only entitled-but sees men as ATM machines...

      PLUS she's not very intelligent or observant... as some of the guys who are the MOST financially stable HIDE IT to avoid women like this-it's one of our (financially VERY stable men) tests...

      I dress like a gangsta and lie about where I live-claiming I rent when I own. I don't have a fancy car, but I have buku assets. I don't flaunt my stability because of women like this. Who wants a girl who sees you as a walking wallet? SIMPS that's who lol. So women like this will attract the most common type of men and miss all the good ones-serves them right.

    • Women want equality when it suits. Your GAG username says it all in one word.

  • "I believe in equality - real equality, not this feminist bullshit"
    And then
    "I'm traditional, so sue me"

    But hey, you have a right for that (double?) standard just as much as we have the right to weed out people like you via according dates.

  • I feel like girls fail to realize they have to put some effort too. Just because we asked you on a date doesn't mean you have us xD

    But hey, I guess it's a good thing, it helps filter the girls from the women.

    • They do put in effort. Women put way more money, time, and energy in their physical appearance for a date.

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    • but if she wants to do that then that's on her

    • @mistixs i'm the type of person that only goes for the loving heart that a woman has that's it I don't care for nothing else

  • ''but if I like the idea of a man paying for me on a first date, I can do so. Yes, I can''
    You are far from a strong independent woman. I hope you know that lol. You are weak, and rely on men for free food. Your literally a prostitute... men pay for your time. Your not worth that. Some desperate guys may think so. Doubt they would put a ring on it.

  • you're not ttraditionnal.

    A traditionnal wife stays at home, cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, while the traditionnal husband goes out and earns the money. The father used to decide who to marry you to.
    This is what used to happen in society at large and these values and beliefs were handed down generation to generation making them tradition.
    The adjective traditional in this context refers to that.

    Its not a taboo word, people just use it in a really stupid way, without knowing what it actually means. Nobody is going to sue you, they just won't really take you seriously given you use words you seemingly haven't even looked up or thought about thoroughly. you're not traditional by any means, and good for you.

    You want free shit. We get it. Who doesn't love free shit. Free shit is awesome. But thats what it is, its not some kind of nobility to mooch off others, its using people for free shit. And some people will give you free shit. Others won't. Being all morally judgmental about how theyre poor and busters and losers and blablabla... doesn't really make you. mich except bigoted and judgmental.

    you're free and entitled to like and enjoy free shit. That is your right, you're entitled to that. Youve got the right to be turned on by money, status etc... Youve got every right and entitlement to dictate what goes on in your life as it pertains to you and what you choose to do and not to do, what you're turned on and off by, what you like and dislike. That is your right. But your rights are confined to that, they do not extend to dictating others lives, actions or behaviour. you're not entitled to that or anything they may have, be it their time or money or attention. Your just not entitled to it, its not yours to command.

    Id like to point out that 2. is just as easily reversible. On a first date, you dont know each other. You know you work hard and you'll contribute, but how does he know that? he's probably thinking the same thing. How do I know she's not just gonna suck my wallet dry and leech off me?

    3. as sure, but on the first date you should know youve probably not earned that status quite yet. Why should he pamper an almost stranger?

    1 absolutely, but what of you? wheres your effort? being made up and presentable? if he's dressing nice for the occasion he's put in as much effort as you in that. So he's going beyond for you. But what about you for him

    • goddamn these younger men are intelligent... feminist entitlement is clearly coming to an end.. better start learning how to GIVE, ladies...

  • "I'm traditional, so sue me"
    Ok here's the bill

  • and this myTake is reason enough to not date women like you and pay for everything. It screams hypocrisy from every word you wrote and you are a prime example of why many guys

    The are more or less decent arguments which speak for the guy paying for the first date, yours however are bullshit.

    1. You're making an effort
    Oh and you don't need to make one? just looking good is enough or what?

    2. It gives me a clue that you're financially stable
    and guys don't care if the girl is broke, right? you want the guy to show that he's working his ass of like you do, but you feel like only he has to prove it to you but you not to him? yeah, that makes sense.

    3. Every now and then, we girls like to be pampered
    Because guys absolutely hate being pampered too and prefer kissing girls asses instead all the time, right?`I'm willing to pamper her once I know that she's worth it. Some random girl I don't know at all doesn't fit that category. After 2-3 dates when I know I'm interested we can speak again.
    You believe in equality but you want the guy to ask you out and always pay for the first date? Is that what you call "real equality"?

    4. I'm traditional, so sue me
    You want tradition? I can treat you in the traditional way, then you are nothing more than a better, modern slave. You said you are for real equality, but again you are picking just the things you like, the one that benefits you.


    • I meant double standards not hypocrisy but pretending to be for real equality when just picking what you want makes you a hypocrite too, so it's fine lol

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    • @mistixs being visually orientated doesn't mean we don't care about other shit, so if all she does is looking good then I have no interest because I want more out of a relationship than having something to look at.

      The same way I'm not interested if all she's looking for is someone who pays for her. Being financially stable and being able to take care for someone is fine is fine, but I don't need to prove it to some random girl I don't know at all and might not see again by paying for her stuff. Suhe can just ask for my job.

      As I said, once I get the feeling after some dates that she's the right one, then I'm willing to put more money into it. But a first date is just to get to know each other, if I have to throw money at her to keep her interest then she's clearly the wrong one

    • It's not ALL she's seeking, it's just PART of it.

      Just like how looks is PART but not all, of what you're seeking.

  • 1. While he is showing this effort what are you doing? Chances are nothing. So you wish for him to give what he has to you while you do not reciprocate that's why men don't want to pay for dates because a woman feels she is entitled to it with out giving anything back to him. In fact that's a good way of determining if a woman is worth your time or not if she gives nothing to you makes no effort but demands you pay and put forth that effort clearly she is self centered and not worth your time.
    2. As you stated it is not an indicator of financial stability so whats the point in making the argument? What about you if we are suppose to be equals then why must I be the one who is financially stable? If you don't offer to pay what that tells me is that you are expecting a paycheck that you are their for monetary gain everything else is secondary. Not a good way of starting a date.
    3. I think most like to be pampered whats your point? Do you think he enjoys paying for everything while you simply take? that's a pretty poor argument. If you believed in equality you would be willing to reciprocate but here you are arguing for why you shouldn't have to. So clearly you do not believe in equality.
    4. Unless your never refusing sex always cooking for him cleaning house and giving him your respect and not trying to force him to take charge and then ignoring him when he does then you are not a traditionalist. Being traditional wasn't the man does everything for you and you just kick back and take it was a partnership each had their role and they fulfilled the obligations of their role to the best of their abilities. I find this to be highly unlikely that your doing that so no you are not traditional your self centered their is a distinction. Yes you can want a guy to pay for you but he can also decide that this is a sign that your not worth the effort because you are going to simply coast by while he puts in all the work and effort into the relationship. This is solipsism to the extreme as can be evident in the fact that everything here stated has to do with you and does not once take into account how your actions could be viewed from his perspective or what you are giving in return.

    • Women spend more time, money, and energy on their appearance.

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    • Romance is text. There may be a single cover on each book but women aren't staring at it, like men are staring, when they look at porn mags

    • @mistixs Yeah their not looking at it that's why it has a half naked man on the cover. And yes instead of images its imagination so what its still lust its the same thing also again women want to be desired so your still right back to where you started, men do everything women do absolutely nothing and expect to be given what ever they want without contributing.

  • 1. When are you gonna show you're making effort?

    2. Asking split the bill gives me a clue that you're not a gold digging hoe.

    3. Paying for food is pampering? Lol

    4. I'm traditional, bring back'em slaves.

    • 1. Sex in return. If not, then you can always pay for a prostitute instead.
      2. Agreed.
      3. Yes?
      4. Yep, women like her are all yours: You can always send them to the kitchen to make you food and sandwiches, make them clean the house, wash your clothes and demand sex from them whenever YOU want to regardless how she feels because. She. Is. Yours. Traditional.

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    • "If a guy lets me wear a burqa on the first date, it gives me a clue that he's not using me for my looks."

    • Most people did not own slaves... Only the 1% really did. So... this is not a very informed response.

  • Well usually I would call a woman like this a gold digger. But in this particular case you are 100% right. Unfortunately, most women won't make the first move. I would LOVE to have a woman come after me the way I have been expected to go after them all my life. But if I ask a woman out, then I am going to pay. I honestly wish I was able to pay every time but sadly an unwanted divorce wiped me out and I just don't have the money. That is why I am not dating at all right now, I just can't afford it. Women are lucky in the dating realm You don't have to be lonely and can date free.
    Now in this day and age I don't consider the first time you meet with someone just to get drinks and talk a first date. But all the previous comments aside, if we get to our 4th meeting and she has not at least offered to pay for one of the dates, I will not continue to date her. I am all for tradition, but it needs to be a partnership. So if she decides to pick where we go, she should pay at least once. I have dated a couple of women that seemed to only be in it for free food and drinks. I actually purposely made 2 dates with this one woman like at 7pm so I wouldn't have to buy her another dinner and she still found a way to order a whole meal. ugg.

  • This should be titled:

    4 ways in which men need to learn their place and serve me, after all I am the center of the universe.

  • You wanna be traditional, ok get in the kitchen and make a delicious sandwich after that clean the house and hand wash my dirty clothes. I expect your legs spread by 10pm!

  • If I wanted to pay for food for a stranger I'd give a twenty to a shelter.

  • Several problems with your logic. One: you can't be for equality and also necessitate men pay for the first date, this is inherently unequal, and hurts the woman more than it does the man. Why? Because it establishes that you expect the man to be the breadwinner, which would be fine if you expected that because you want to stay home regardless of your gender, but that's not the reason. You expect it because it's gender norms, and if you are in line with that gender norm, you'll have to be in line with the he others; you can't have your cake and eat it too.

    Two: I will gladly pay for the first date. Not because it's gender norms, but because I think it's a nice thing to do. If also expect the woman to at least offer to pay for half, even if I would never accept it. Mostly because it says a lot about her character if she does offer. If I'm on a first date, and a girl doesn't offer, that's a red flag for moocher to me. How long is she going to expect this? No, I'm sorry, I like independent women. I could afford to pay for her every meal, but that's not the point. She's just not who I'm looking for, and there probably won't be a second date.

    Three: if you want to be chased and doted on simply because you're the female, and "that's the way it works." You better be ok with being chased. You better be willing to be treated as inferior, because although I don't believe women are inferior to men, traditional gender norms do, and that is the train of thought your mind seems to be in.

    • "if you are in line with that gender norm, you'll have to be in line with the he others; you can't have your cake and eat it too."

      Yes we can hahaha

      People keep using Israel as an example of why women should be drafted, yet I'm sure they wouldn't want to adopt many other aspects of Israeli culture.

      "You better be ok with being chased. You better be willing to be treated as inferior"

      How does that mean she's inferior? If anything, being chased = superior

    • @mistixs I don't know how drafting or Isreal relates to this conversation.

      But, no, you can not have your cake and eat it too. Life just doesn't work like that. By abiding gender norms that are to your advantage, you are accepting the entire system. Essentially you are saying to the man "you are going to pay for the date, or multiple dates. In return, you lead the relationship, our lives, and I am essentially just arm candy that cleans" -admit or not, like it or not, that is exactly what you are communicating.

      Being chased only makes you superior in that you are sexually desired. If that's all men see you as, that's not a good things. Think of it this way, in the wild, you typically don't want to be the thing being chased.

    • oh, so now that people want women to be drafted just bc Israel does it, we should accept the entire Israeli system now?

      LOL no I'll gladly have my cake and eat it too. It doesn't imply that.

      You folks keep being like "there are two options: patriarchy or equality" and it's like lmaooooooo why not


      If you don't get it, I'm kidding.

      But no, I'll gladly pick and choose, thanks.

  • Selfish and one sided.
    It's fine you don't want to date guys who don't pay, the whole purpose of it is to weed people like you out anyway.

  • I hope you wouldn't show up in cheap clothes, cheap perfume and a 10 year old Honda because it would be screaming that you're not even close to me financially either and so the gold digger bells would be ringing.

    That being said, i don't consider $40 to be worth rocking the boat out in the real world.

  • I couldn't agree more!

    I've heard girl after girl complain that a recent date wanted to go halves on the first date, and it wasn't long after that that she discovered that he was simply too much of a drag to be around.

    Him wanted to split the bill on the first date is a red flag. It means at the very least that he is trivial, and more likely that he is with a low income and needs to count his pennies.

    Him fully paying on the date is usually a good sign that he is stable and not trivial.


    For 50 years., Women have fought for economic and social equality with Men. They should bear equal responsibilities as well.
    Women are now beginning to earn MORE than Men and will continue to do so.

    As for Chivalry? Ladies, you KILLED IT!


    • This X a milllion

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    • Anyway women have also been fighting AGAINST the concept of equality for decades. There's a reason the ERA didn't pass.

    • @mistixs plastic surgery isn't done to impress men, it's to alleviate insecurity. A subtle distinction of causation.

  • Traditional? Sure you are honey. So you have no problem cooking and cleaning up after your man right? How about giving him sex and then silence?
    No? Then why the hell should he pay for the first date?

    • Men are visual & wired to seek attractive mates, so their extra treat is the woman's appearance, which women put more time, effort, & MONEY into.
      Women are wired to seek mates who can provide for them, hence paying for dates.

    • So if you want to force women to go against their innate wiring, then it's only "equal" for you to do the same; I hope you're OK with dating a woman wearing a burqa.

  • When you put a price on your vagina, guess what?

    You're a whore.

  • Girls these days "me me me, I I I, what can he do for me? It's all about me!"

    Very unattractive

  • tell me where have you been living the last 100 years of feminism? you can´t have all the good things from conversative AND the liberal world. you have to pick a side and not just pick the cherry of both cakes!

  • All it shows is that you're LAZY and CHEAP

    no, maybe it shows he's waiting to invest in you. Why on earth we should invest in people who judge us for our assumed wealth?
    thank you tho, you just rembered how superficial and cheap are some women in the dating world

    • "on the first date, women should be able to show up in a burqa & not reveal their appearance to the man, to make sure the man isn't using her for her looks & being superficial"

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    • she provides other things.

    • @mistixs so a hooker is a smarter woman. she takes what she needs and leave?

  • I'll always pay for a first date even if 5 of them turn out to be b*tches, the 6th will be awesome and it's nice to maintain a habit of being courteous. Anyway, this is my choice and not her right.
    Also if the girl keeps yapping about feminism I'm 100% making sure we split the check.

    • I don't get why guys are mad... if you ask her on a date, you gotta fucking pay.

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    • @Kuqezi Just don't see paying for dinner as being used... unless you go on dinner dates every night which I don't. *sigh* agree to disagree dude

    • This girl is talking about believing in equality but only wants the benefits of it also she's put a price on herself, that's being used.
      Using the gentleman exuse, is being used.

  • AAAaaannnddd another one folks!

    Stop looking for free handouts you lazy bum. It's 2016. The genders are equal now.

    • So are you spending an equal amount of time, money, and energy on your appearance as women are expected to?

    • @mistixs No, but I spent 15 times as much looking for a woman as men are expected to

      At least I don't have to worry about that now

  • I'm a believer in guys paying for a first date however, if I felt like she just expected me to pay for her I would be turned off. To me it seems selfish for you to expect anything other than common human to human respect on a first date. Give me the chance to be the gentleman. I will likely pay no matter what but if she wants a second date she better show me that she isn't a moocher

  • I don't think there's a guy in the world that isn't a deadbeat or cheapskate that doesn't want to pay for the lady on a first date.

    This fight back that women are getting from men on this is due to feminism. Simple as that.

    We're at a point in time right now where the genders are at war.

    Paying or not paying on a first date never use to be a subject that people talked or even thought about.

  • Welcome to equality. I'm sure most guys will be perfectly fine with not having a narcissistic gold digger like you as their girlfriend. I hope the next guy that takes you out on a date spits in your drink.

    • Equality... so men should have to put as much time money and effort into their appearance as women?

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    • Then men need to start putting as much effort into their appearance as women.
      OR drop your standards

    • @mistixs Nope, spedning lots of time putting make up on doesn't entitle you to a free meal. Pay for your own food you gold digger.

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What Girls Said 51

  • I think there has to be a bit of forgiveness when it comes to paying because before women were in the workforce, let's say pre-1940s, women had no means of paying for squat. Women were basically properties of their fathers and permission was required to ask them out.

    But since women have taken on careers and independence, it's one of these things where we now have a means to look after ourselves when going out too. And if we *can't* look after ourselves, then we have a means to obtain education in order to find careers to look after ourselves. There's always a root solution.

    I don't mean to sound like I'm giving a history lesson, but I'm typing this out just to figure out my own thoughts and where I'm going with this.

    Also, double-income families came about in the 1960s, but didn't become *necessary* until the 1980s when the cost of living skyrocketed yet no help from most governments were made to subside the spike for the families.

    Now we have a dating scene in the 21st century here people crave tradition, yet they are perfectly capable of being independent. I'm with @margarida who still believes if you're the one who cooks up the idea of going out and where, you should be *prepared* to pay for it. It's perfectly okay to ask questions about what the date might like to offer as their share, but being struck with an unplanned outing and then being expected to pay is unfair to the askee if you think about the situation you're putting them in to.

    Now as for online dating, I look that that as being equal. Both men and women are on these sites for the same reasons whether it's to just hook up and fuck, or try and find something long-lasting. Whatever the case, both men and women are using a profile, advertising themselves as being interested in seeing someone and making a potential meeting happen. Usually one person will use the safe "let's have coffee" (the cheapest date aside from doing nothing) because the number of people they will be meeting is going to break them if they have to splurge on full dates with people - most of whom they'll never see again.

    But if you don't go the online route, and are asking someone out who you see or know from friends, then you have to consider that the person being asked might not be prepared for it if the date includes some extravagance. But to *expect* extravagance is unfair too. 'Traditional' is a word we can't use now when it comes to finances. But with other things, sure. :)

  • 1. I always laugh at this, because then what effort do you put in exactly princess?
    Also, I'm going to go on a limb here and say that you also expect him to make the first move right? So let me guess, HE has to ask YOU out. HE has to lead the conversation, HE has to court you, HE has to text YOU first. And yet, none of this is enough for you to conclude that he is interested in you? This effort is not enough unless big daddy brings out the dolla dolla huh?

    2. Literally this can be turned around to you! So you're expecting him to just pay and pay and pay? How exactly are you going to prove your financial stability? By being the proud owner of a vagina? Lol
    " Maybe you don't have much at all and you're just splurging on that one night (which is really kinda sexy, by the way). " Fucking hilarious! Really? it's sexy for a man to pretend that he has money, because apparently that is what gets your juices going, despite him going home the rest of the week and living off ramen? Um no, that's stupid. I'd rather he save that money and eat decent meals the rest of the week than spend his weeks check on champagne and lobster just to "impress" me.

    3. Being spoiled with gifts is superficial. I can finance myself, spoil me with love, time, attention, and affection.

    4. Traditional is not a "bad" word for us liberals. It's only when IT IS FORCED or when you SHAME others for not fitting into it. You want a traditional man? Fine. But don't complain about him expecting you to cook and clean while he drinks beer. You're the one who wanted to be sure he's financially stable right? That's what you wanted right?

    Overall, I highly disagree. It should be whoever asks out to pay. And even then, don't be a jerk, offer to pay your share. BUT if you and him are fine with him paying, then you do you. However, these reasons are silly.

    • I love this answer!

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    • @LadyTerror very good response :)

  • I say split the bill or at the very least, just offer to pay your part. In my experience all guys have declined my offer but at the end I feel like it's just fair and kind to make sure the guy knows you aren't just there to get free things.

    Me and my boyfriend either split or I just pay because my boyfriend is struggling financially. But on the first date, he did offer which was sweet.

  • 1. You should show your date you can and will do nice things for him. Guys want to see a little effort too.

    2. You should prove you're financially stable too.

    3. Guys like being pampered too.

    4. So long as you're cool with the guy having traditional values that take advantage of you too, you're welcome to each other.

  • I didn't understand your Take because a relationship would not better commence with your flawed standpoints. Sometimes the poor are extravagant in terms of effort and dreams, so watch out for calling them "CHEAP."

    Money is just tangible stuff and it is something that shouldn't denote responsibility, status , and even roles like this retarded tradition wherein the man pays for dates! The money the guy will pay isn't even a sign of financial "stability". I think you mean that the guy is financially "prepared" for the "date." Preparation can be "crammed" and good for one-shot expense, like your "date" here. You see, stability is for a long run term for "constant money ownership", something that stability isn't even about.

  • As a female I prefer to pay my share. I don't need a man paying for me. It shows that I'm financially stable and I'm also interested and making an effort.
    Pay for yourself!

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    • @mistixs it's your own personal choice to do additional preparations. If you wanted it to be fair and square, you'd own up to your own personal decisions, accept that you spent that much time on your own accord, and then pay for your own personal spending because that's what your choices amounted to.

      You're just avoiding responsibility while claiming that females universally care only about money, while males universally care only about appearance, which is just extreme.

    • @Mesonfielde it says nothing of reality and only reflects on how dull and shallow @mistixs is

  • i fully agree and by expecting such doesn't make us golddiggers.
    I'd love your commetns on my post earlier this morning cooincidently about an hour before yours.

  • I think if you believe a man should pay for you then you don't deserve equality. If you expect a man to then maybe you come off as cheap, a user, spoiled, not making a effort, or financially unstable.

    • brilliant woman's take here< " If you expect a man to then maybe you come off as cheap, a user, spoiled, not making a effort, or financially unstable." you forgot "and sound like a prostitute..."

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    • @mistixs we weren't talking about appearance. A guy who thinks that way is an ass.

    • @whachachaking the most important thing for a woman to do for a date in order to put effort into her appearance, is that she shouldn't wear any makeup because it ruins her natural charms :p

  • we bitch so much about equality but only want the good bits of equality, no wonder guys hate us so much

  • Notice how many guys agree when a someone says that they like to pay for themselves. This right here is why you guys are on GAG right now and not on a date.

    • People don't like free loaders.

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    • @feminismisnarcissism well that's the secret to why you're dating at your age.

  • Honestly a chick that tells a guy he has a pay or they walk is cheap and stupid. Shows they won't put into any work with the relationship with the guy and make him do everything.

    So with the points you listed.

    #1: "You're making an effort" Proves you won't make an effort and only the man is.

    #2: " It gives me a clue that you're financially stable" Proves you're not financially stable and have to rely on others to pay for you.

    #3: "Every now and then, we girls like to be pampered" So do men but it's not like you're ever going to do it due to selfishness.

    #4: "I'm traditional, so sue me" more like ignorant and helpless

    Yes you can and the men can just walk out on you due to your ideology. Which with what you believe in this mytake you might just be alone for the rest of your miserable life.

  • I think it is lovely when a guy insists on paying for a first date but it should never be a deal breaker. Thats just wrong. Of course I would be happy to pay for my own meal or both of our meals or just pay next time we go out it just depends on the situation. But making a big deal if you have to pay for your own meal is just rude and cheap

  • So we want equality, but not when it comes to free food. Okay then. 😒

  • Because having a vagina means free food... yay society.

  • For the love of cats women should be paid for when they go out with men, men make 53 cents more then women do. And If I'm being taken out on a date, my meal should be paid for, it show me that you care. If a man whines about paying for me I simply make a note not to date them or say " You'er just paying for my hamburger not my rent, get over it"

  • I hate when people pay for me at all, and that's my friends and family. I would feel worse letting a complete stranger pay for me. The first date definitely should be when a couple splits. You're just getting to know each other, and that's when you both should be making an effort. Why should someone that you don't know pay for you?

    • She did make an effort; women put a lot more effort into their appearance than men

    • Yes because appearance should be the only important thing. That's definitely a major sense of entitlement right there. Expect a guy to have to pay for her just because she looks pretty. You can't coast through life on looks.

    • @Hopefuldreamer8 exactly-she's an entitled brat, an empty shell of a person with a mask on that she thinks is worth $ lol... she's got a rude awakening ahead in the world.. all she offers as a claim of what women HAVE to offer is looks-which is pathetic and sad.

  • If you're traditional, will you cook and clean for him in return?

  • I don't necessarily agree with you. The way I see it, it depends on who asked who out. And if I'm the one who asked him out then I feel I should pay, and not the other way around.

    • but women never ask because they are insecure

    • @alfonsosloan45 Ahahahah oh honey... If I'm interested, I will ask! Might take a bit of time to get enough courage, but I'll do it!

    • @alfonsosloan45 Women don't ask because men ask them more often then not. Also women fear rejection... so do us men... but they can get away with not having to approach men without dieing alone lol.

  • To tell you the truth my ex was the guy who never paid on dates... he kinda used me and as a blind fool I did let him treat me like a trash. Well, at that time I was young and immature... but now I know what it really means when a guy acts like a miser!!!

    • Sorry you had to go through that :/ It really does suck knowing you were used.

  • OMG so many butthurt guys and feminazis on this site. I expect a MAN to be a MAN and pick up the fucking bill. Women are biologically wired to want a guy who is financially stable and can protect us.

    • So you're gonna use biology as an excuse to not pay for your own meal? Classic.

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    • @feminismisnarcissism wrong the equivalent isn't women obeying but women working harder on their appearance

    • @mistixs dafuq are you talking about and why are you even wasting time doing that

  • It sounds unfair to oblige the guy to pay for the first date.

  • This take is so horribly sexist.

    Literally ALL of your points can have the genders reversed, and it would still apply. You think men don't want to be pampered? You think refusing to pay doesn't cast you in a negative light? Think again.

    Oh, you're traditional? No you're not, you're just sexist. If you were ACTUALLY traditional, you wouldn't even be on the internet. You're not allowed to voice your opinion. You just pick and choose the parts of traditionalism that you like, because you're sexist and entitled.

    Don't come crying to me when you're posting "where have all the good men gone?" in 10 years.

    • @takenchic you also seem pretty entitled. You never even think about what *you* have to offer, you only focus on what the guy can do for you.

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    • @Kirah thanks and excellent point to Mistixs lol

    • No I haven't said that

      And women are less likely to get dates if they don't wear makeup. The equivalent is that men are less likely to get dates if they don't pay

  • My husband paid for all of our dates when we were first getting together, except for when he lost his job, then I helped.

  • I just don't get it... this is getting really ridiculous.

  • I LOVE YOU!!!

    Apparently we are "entitled" to these bozos if we expect a guy to pay on the first date. You'll make a lot of vaginas (stupid little young boys) mad for sure. But I love your take.

    • ''Apparently we are "entitled" to these bozos if we expect a guy to pay on the first date. ''
      You basically just gave the definition for entitled (through an example... before you past in the actual definition).

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    • @mistixs Lots of dumb assholes out there that can't get any any other way.

    • exactly-men are "bozos" to women like this, which is why they'll get SIMPS, not men.

      real men expect give AND take. real men are disgusted by ME ME ME women

  • What if he insists of paying? Even if I want to treat him?
    Once i was in a long distance relationship and when he visited me, i knew he used a lot of money on the train so i wanted treat him but he really hated it that i tried to treat him dinner

  • I don't even totally disagree with you, but you're some kinda ridiculous if you think the left is responsible for the most government intrusions into freedom of expression in the US. You need to study your constitutional history.

    You have freedom from government sanction under the Constitution. You don't have any reason or right to expect that other people won't respond negatively to what you say in our capacity as private citizens. That has nothing to do with infringing on your right to say such things.

  • My thoughts on this topic, is this video.

  • Yesss love this take. I completely agree. A guy should always pay for the first date.

  • I agree I prefer it in some cases like if you were to ask me and I have no money you shouldn't demand me to come and then make me sit there without food if I don't have the money to buy anything.

    • You're pretty young still. When you're older I have hope that you will get it.

    • Well I'm not going to go on a date if I don't have the money and if he kept insisting he better pay.

    • & its not like I demand guys to do if you willing to do it fine then but don't prissy if you offer. But if you own to on a date with someone and in case they don't have money then you should pay for it. If you want that date badly. But don't be an ass where they can pay but then you take them to a place where they can't buy something for themselves.

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