Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

[Anonymous]

The oldest topic of debate! Who should pay on first date? This is mytake explainig why men should pay on first date.

1) It Makes Your Intentions Clear

You pay for her = You’re interested in her. If those are not your intentions, irrespective of them women will think that way. not all women but many. It doesn’t matter how much costly food was, what kind of food you ate but who pays. If you can’t afford dinner in 5-star hotel, its OK. Coffee dates can be romantic too!

Many will argue that “If he said yes for the date that means he is interested” Not it’s not like that. Many people judge you after you spend some time with them. The first date is “That” time when you get to know each other. Paying for her is clear sign that you’re interested in her.

2) It makes her feel special

Women love chivalry! It can be opening door for them or paying for the date. It also makes you look like a gentleman and leaves a good impression. She’s not just another girl. She might be your next potential partner. You don’t want to ruin that chance, do you?

3) She’s something more than just friend

Dating is not in the same category as friendship. Dating is a selection process based on attraction and a bunch of other factors, such as shared values and common interests. Many say that I treat my partner like my friend and when going out with friends, we split the bill. But there is

difference

between dating someone and befriending them. She’s a special woman, make her feel special.

4) It’s not all about the money

THIS ISN’T ABOUT MONEY. It’s about how you make her feel. The thought that goes into a first date is more important than the money you spend. But it matters who spend it. If you’re broke, why not go for a romantic walk and buy the coffees and cake? Organize a picnic? Why not go to an exhibition or a live music night? Why not go on stargazing date? Women like the attention to detail; find out what she likes.

5) It has nothing to do with sexism

It has nothing to do with feminism or sexism. Paying for the first date does not imply that she’s weak or unable to pay for herself. It just shows that you are interested in her. It is just a chivalrous tradition which makes you a gentleman and hence attractive.

6) Not paying is a risk

It’s a test of character. When she offers to pay for the bill, she is testing you! Whether she is doing it subconsciously or not, she wants to know how you are going to react. Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G women do judge if you ask them to split the bill. In the real world, Over half (57%) of women claim they offer to help pay, but many women (39%) confessed they hope men would reject their offers to pay, and 44% of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay.

She might be an independent woman, but are you an independent man?

On a first date, she is trying to figure out what kind of guy you are. Are you a provider? Are you reliable? Are you generous? Paying for the bill suggests you are all of these things.

7) After all, It’s just the first date

If you read the title again, it’s just about the first date and not all of them. How much does a dinner cost? Just 20 Dollars. You can earn those 20 dollars even by spending your pass time one G@G. Claim a TGI Friday’s card and use it for your date. This take is all for the first date. If she’s not up for splitting bill after 3 – 4 dates then ask her to split after those dates and if she denies then you know what to do….

If you think why you should make her feel special, the answer is either you're interested or you know women's value is higher in dating market than men's.

PS: If you agree with me, Upvote this take and if you disagree, downvote it. I bet 100 percent Gagers agree with me and I won't receive single downvote!

Note: This is “MyTake” explaining my own opinion. You’re entitled to your opinion, feel free to share it. 😊

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[OlderAndWiser]

I have always paid for everything ion every date, except if my partner wants to take me out for my birthday. If she brings a female friend along, I pay for the friend's meal, also.

This is the process of, hopefully, finding a partner for the rest of your life. I am not looking for another friend. I am looking for a partner in romance and love. Every dollar that I spend is an investment in something that has far more value than money.

When I ask a lady for a date, I don't ask her to "hang out" or "chill." I ask her for a "date." She knows my intentions. I ask her where she would like to go. If it is something that I don;t want to do, I tell her; otherwise, we go where she suggested. I make a reservation for dinner. I try to look my best with my grooming and clothes. I get my car washed. I am not more than 2 minutes early or late to pick her up. When we arrive at the restaurant, we use valet parking.

She knows that she is being treated like a special lady but, if we progress into a relationship, she will understand that I want to be treated like a special man. I treat her the way that I want her to treat me. I pay for everything because that is what very traditional men do. I hope that she is a very traditional lady.

At the end of the evening, she does not owe me sex because I paid for the meal. What she owes me is courtesy and respect.

Many young people will think that I am trying too hard and doing too much to please her, that I am acting "whipped." None of my previous partners would ever call me "whipped," but they would say that I acted like a gentleman and made a very favorable first impression. That doesn't mean that every first date leads to a second date. Sometimes I do no feel the potential, the chemistry, with a lady, and I am honest with her about that. Sometimes she doesn't feel it.

Whatever happened on the date, at the end of the day, I know that I conducted myself as a gentleman and I am proud of myself. That leads to more self-confidence and THAT is a bog part of what women are looking for.

Nice myTake!

[myTake Owner]

Thank you :) I wish I could feature your opinion on this take. You're a true gentleman

[PrincessPie]

More men like this would be a positive.

[Gustafsone12584]

I agree, I'm doing the same.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Gustafsone12584 It definitely does not score points with all the ladies, but it does score points with the ladies who I most want to impress!

[Markfish]

If paying scores points with them, those aren't the women I want to impress.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Markfish It is not the money that impresses them. If you could not afford nicer restaurants, many women would be equally impressed if you took them to MacDonalds. What impresses them is that you deem them worthy of the effort to treat them as nicely as you can.

[Markfish]

Taking a girl to McDonalds and paying will not impress 95% of them. It is about money and hypergamy.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Markfish If your experiences have given you a jaded perception of women, you need to be on guard about that. There are still many good women if you are willing to look for them and give them a chance.

[Markfish]

You lowered your guard and are old school. Most monogamy from your generation is semantically prostitution.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Markfish That is your jaded view. Others see things differently, but you can believe whatever you want.

[Markfish]

It's basic analytics and semantics, paying is a prerequisite to sex.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Markfish Insisting that you are correct doesn't mean that you are correct. It is still simply your opinion. If you need to reply and again state that you are correct, feel free to do so and I won't respond any further.

[Markfish]

Never pay for anything and see if they stay around.

[Afrochick]

Aw <3

[PrincessPie]

I've always appreciated a guy paying for the first date, i think it is chivalrous.
Plus i like traditional gender roles.

[myTake Owner]

I know that :)

[PrincessPie]

But men on here seem to hate women who appreciate this gesture lol

[2opaz]

i would pay for out date.

only you though

[2opaz]

our*

[Markfish]

Most men don't want to pay for the date. It makes us feel used.

[PrincessPie]

@Markfish I've probably been on about 20 dates or so in my life and most men from my experience pay, so i guess its mostly the guys on GAG who feel this way.

[2opaz]

@Markfish i was kinda hoping she would use me ;)

[Markfish]

They pay in fear of you thinking less of them if they don't, they don't actually want to do it.

[2opaz]

@Markfish wrong, if im the one who invited her on the date then i would pay

[Markfish]

You beta john!

[Cosytoasty]

Ahhh so here’s where that came from 🙈

[TheUglyMan]

Lol no one hear hates women. GAG is catered to worship them.

[QooLipBite]

Good.

[coachTanthony]

I think I have posted this 100 times. LOL It never gets old!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

[Goodwifie]

I've watched this video and he makes perfect sense.
It's all about having respect for the other person and putting in an equal amount of effort to the relationship.
I didn't have a lot of dinner dates in my younger years, we did fun things we went out dancing instead.
Later on we'd go on dinner dates one night a guy took me out for dinner and then a few days later we went on a picnic date and I spent the morning getting a picnic lunch ready. But most dates the bill would be split, although I did prefer the picnic dates best.

[Logorithim]

If she wants to go Dutch on a date, I'd appreciate her telling me in advance, otherwise I expect to pay, and for more than just dinner, too, by the way (maybe, e. g., a musical performance or a sporting event).

[Anonymous]

Why Girls Should Fuck On The First Date

1) It Makes Your Intentions Clear

You have sex with him = You’re interested in him. If those are not your intentions, irrespective of them men will think that way. not all men but many.

Many will argue that “If she said yes for the date that means she is interested” Not it’s not like that. Many people judge you after you spend some time with them. The first date is “That” time when you get to know each other. Shagging him is clear sign that you’re interested in him.

2) It Makes Him Feel Special

Men love sex! It can be just giving a blowjob after the date. It also leaves a good impression. He’s not just another guy. He might be your next potential partner. You don’t want to ruin that chance, do you?

3) He's Something More Than A Friend

Dating is not in the same category as friendship. Dating is a selection process based on attraction and a bunch of other factors, such as shared values and common interests. Many say that I treat my partner like my friend and when going out with friends, we split the bill. But there is difference between dating someone and befriending them. He’s a special woman, make him feel special.

4) It's Not All About Sex

THIS ISN’T ABOUT SEX. It’s about how you make him feel. The thought that goes into a first date is more important than the sex you have. If you’re on your period that day and you don't wanna go all the way, why not go for a quick blowjob? Or perhaps anal? Find out what he likes.

5) It Has Nothing To Do With Sexism

It has nothing to do with feminism or sexism. Fucking on the first date does not imply that you're weak or unable to control herself. It just shows that you are interested in him. It is just a chivalrous tradition which makes you a lady and hence attractive.

6) Not Fucking Is A Risk

It’s a test of character. When he offers to bring you home with him, he is testing you! Whether he is doing it subconsciously or not, he wants to know how you are going to react. Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G men do judge if you aren't DTF. In the real world, Over half (57%) of men claim they offer to bring the girl home, but many men (39%) confessed they hope women wouldn't reject their offers, and 44% of men were bothered when women expected to go on a date without fucking.

He might be an independent man, but are you an independent woman?

On a first date, he is trying to figure out what kind of girl you are. Are you a good fuck? Are you reliable? Are you?

[Opinion Owner]

After All, It's Just The First Date

If you read the title again, it’s just about the first date and not all of them. How much does a quick shag cost? Nothing (unless you're a hooker, which you're probably not). This take is all for the first date. If you're not up for fucking after 3 – 4 dates then he'll probably ask you to after those dates and if you deny then he'll know what to do….

[Opinion Owner]

I fucked up on number 3) - "he's a special woman" lmao..

[Kkaos]

Sorry, this sounds like a bunch of chodey white knight bullshit. I don't care about making my intentions clear, or passing her 'tests'. Men who worry about that are men of low value.

I pay... If I feel like it. If I like her and I've had a good time, I'll pay. It has nothing to do with how she thinks of me or attempting to be 'chivalrous'. I don't need to prove anything to her.

And funny how you talk about how it's not sexist from a woman's perspective, how it doesn't mean women are weaker etc. Yet you completely ignore it from the man's perspective. Men - YOU should PAY... Yeah, because that's not sexist at all is it? Making someone pay just because of their gender? Noo... It's just traditional gender roles, right? But what about women's traditional gender roles? Women - YOU should stay at home and do housework! Is that not sexist too you? Or is it only sexist when it concerns women, it's fine to say a man should pay and then judge him and label him as 'cheap' if he doesn't, but how dare we ever judge a woman who doesn't conform to her traditional gender roles.

[Red-Blaze]

There is no vote down XD

These all sounds nice, but i don't ever agree to be paid for
I find something that one side only pays to be wrong in many ways, its like one side feel sorry for wasting the time, or feel they need to pay for the taken time

If both enjoy it, then paying for it dose not need to be there really, except maybe if it comes from other way (Like someone takes you to a really expansive place as he is paying for it)
Only case i do let him pay is when in second date i pay

I disagree also with where you say that its not sexism, if one side "needs" to pay and the other dose not, based on there sex, that is the definition of sexism
Its not an insult, but why dose it need to go that way and not the other?

I mean hell why not just say that the one that needs to pay is the one that earns more, or who ever picks it up first
Don't think there is any reason that Male or Female needs to be the one to pay just as there of that or that sex

So like i said if someone insets on it I do agree il see it nice, but they will need to know on the second meeting il make sure that i am paying for it all

[Tasos96]

1) Don't play dumb in most cases you know the guy's intentions.
2) It's not all about you and you can't be considered special on the first date (plus men like to feel special too)
3) Same as no. 1 applies
4) True not all about the money, but it's about the gesture (DISCLAIMER: It's a two way street otherwise why should the guy date you?)
5) It's about sexism, ONLY whenever it suits women
6) Paying IS a risk. It's only the first date I hardly know you ! It would make sense to pay later on, instead of risking getting dumped by a girl who wanted a free meal. (Obviously depends on income and cost of restaurant but not everyone has a comfortable living so for them it's a risk)
7) Exactly it's the first date ! So don't expect too much !

I must note that I like to play the devil's advocate and I am not against the man (or the woman) paying on the first date, but neither am I against splitting. I think someone should pay ONLY if they feel like it and not feel pressured to do so. If they don't like you just because you didn't pay on the FIRST date then they can fuck off. Also if they accept you paying so easily or show some kind of expectation that you'll pay for me it's a red flag and they're not worth your time.
You're free to start war against me now. Thank you :P

[Tasos96]

Only just realised that it was a guy who has posted. Anyways the way I expressed most of my opinions is towards girls in general

[Ripper_E]

1. Paying for a first date DOES NOT make intentions clear. You don't need to pay to let her know you are interested in her.
2. A woman doesn't necessarily feel special. A lot are actually offended if you don't allow them to pay. Some feel special. It's always a nice feeling to have someone pay for you.
3. Just like it doesn't indicate you are interested, it doesn't indicate that she's more than a friend. She might not even be a friend to begin with, and if she is a friend, then you wouldn't need to fork up money to show her you are interested. The fact that you're on a date makes that clear, not the money.
4. Doesn't back up the point of this take
5. The man should pay is already a sexist statement. No different than a woman should cook. It can indeed be chivalrous for a man to opt to pay for the first date or any date for that matter, but "Guys should pay for the first date" is already sexist.
6. How is not paying a risk if it's not about the money? Women saying one thing and expecting another is nothing new. A lot of women also expect the man to make the first move and often end up disappointed for not taking matters into their own hands. The women that don't expect it are the ones that are worth it. It's just money.

I have paid, but not because it was expected of me. If money is expected, especially on a first date, that says a lot about HER character more than mine.
My opinion

[UnaKaizen]

i dont think it matters he can be interested and lose interest whether he pays or not, if i see him and we go out again he's interested.

same can be said for her, if she pays he knows she's interested. why do women need to be paid for to feel 'special'? when you value an object you pay for it. when you value a person you spend time not money. thats my opinion.

i think one person paying set up a kind of paternalistic dynamic. its awkward. i dont liker it. plus first date i prefer free things that are not constrained by time nor money.

[Good_Behavior]

Your premise isn't sound. If paying money for a date is about making someone feel special versus just the willingness to actually grant them a moment of your time then I think you've lost sight of the original problem which is the discovery of whether you want to waste any more time on another person.

It is very much so about money if one assumes a social custom has the value of actually replacing the original intention behind the meeting to begin with. In short it is the interviewer buying the interviewee lunch with the intention to make them feel good before finally deciding to simply not hire them.

After all, on a first date, it does not act as a guarantee when you pay out a few dollars that you're serious about the person. In fact it works the opposite way as is a means to flaunt wealth and power because the idea is that it is also your first impression. From a sociological position it is very wrong; if your "first date" costs $20 to you then you didn't do it right and paying that defeats the entire purpose because you just sent the signal that you actually DON'T have the clout you just tried to prove you do.

All-in-all this isn't a well-constructed opinion because it totally ignores the actual nature of what offering funds is supposed to genuinely do.

[CT_CD]

It's funny how women will judge you and be turned off if you refuse to pay for their food that they ordered. I've even heard women say that the guy won't be getting a second date if he doesn't pay for her. Just lol. It's the first date and you're both just trying to get to know each other. The guy shouldn't be obligated to pay for some girl who's not even his girlfriend. You might not even see her again. Some women go on dates just to get free food. I say you both pay for whatever you order or split the bill until you're actually in a relationahip.

[CT_CD]

I upvoted this myTake anyway because I'm nice

[myTake Owner]

The rumour is true. I've experienced it as well. I agree a guy shouldn't be obliged to pay but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay.

[Markfish]

"but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay." that literally makes those women prostitutes

[Shallan]

Guys appreciate all the points listed here as well. I think if you reach the end of the date and both people say "I'm paying", it's a pretty good sign for both the girl AND the guy. If one person is completely silent and just "expects" their meal paid for, the other person might seriously get to wondering if he/she wasn't just hanging out for food (that is a thing, apparently). I can also see where it might seem like a sign of indifference if one party immediately said "separate bills" upon conclusion of the meal.
It's much more relieving to see your partner want to pay as much as you do. So just both say it.
Once you BOTH make your intentions clear, you can then make plans for one person to pay this time, and the other to pay the next round. Flip a coin if you have to.

[Shallan]

(Oh and by the way. ----That also gives you an excellent opportunity to plan/talk about the next date.)

[TripleAce]

Every women I've been on a date with and there been quite a bit lol
The ones that expect a date to be paid are usually the ones that aren't fully there for you

The girls that didn't expect it, and its obvious. Were my favs because their time that was given to me felt genuine. A fair trade. My time for her time. It felt real
And our relationships had substance
The ones that wanted paid dates. Trust me. You'll always be on the hook for something down the line

Due note: the girls that didn't expect it. Were actually given the best most expensive dates

[Anonymous]

Makes your intentions clear? You realize that guys who just want to hump and dump are happy to pay for the meal to make fucking her easier? So in the end women can’t use that as a gage of real interest- just an indication he has a couple of bucks to spend on getting layed. Most guys do anyways.

But hey, girls can go ahead and fool themselves. I’m all for guys getting laid and since women are so easily fooled into thinking his having a couple of bucks to get laid is an indication of interest in her more than just pussy, it greases the wheel.

Is it bad to take advantage of this? Not since women claim to be equal but want to play these idiotic games to gage interest.

And love the bullshit contradiction: it’s about you paying, but it’s not about the money.
Actually money IS about money. Pretending that it’s just representative of something else is only fooling yourself.

[madhatters4]

i understand all your points but they are sexist because it displays that only the male is supposed to send these messages. any notion that one sex does one thing in a relationship (beyond those of biological necessity) are sexist in that they are based on established gender roles

[madhatters4]

yes it is the nice thing to do, yes it can make them feel special, yes it may make intentions clear but why are those all things that men alone are supposed to do?

[Kiran04]

Yes, guys should pay on the first date, but a first date should never be expensive. Even spending $30 is too much. I'd say keep it under $25. First dates are never a guarantee, so spend accordingly. If she wants to go someplace expensive on the first date then you need to walk away right away. It's not about the money unless one of you makes it about the money, and the choice of venue is the determining factor in that. Don't take her to McDonald's, but you can get a nice dinner at Chill's for around $20 a person. Also, observe closely on how much she spends on alcohol. If she's going for $10 cocktails on your dime when you barely know each other then it's time to bail. If she even hints that she's taking advantage of your kindness then run. Run far and fast. And toss her the golden shovel.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Couldn't this all be turned around why women should pay?
How about going Dutch on the first date instead?

[BuchitaBuchys]

I'd argue that it's better if the man did NOT pay for the first date. Or not pay all of it.

[myTake Owner]

I agree but that's your opinion but you come under 27% women who are ready to split without judging. What if the first date is from 73% ? (Refer to point 6)

[Kiran04]

Given that most women expect to be treated, I'd say hell no. You even have the super entitled bitches who go up on talk shows and actually complain when men accept their OFFER to split the check. Why the fuck do you offer if you don't to split? They use it as a stupid test. Avoid that shit altogether. Just pay the damn tab, and if she rubs you wrong way never speak to her again.

[TripleAce]

She has a point lol

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kiran04 then you're better off without them. In my experience, women who expect this are also the type to expect a lot of material things as well.
The more men who refuse, the better the dating prospects for men.

@TripleAce, finally, we agree lol

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Political_dude, if more men did it, then women would be forced to change their ways.

[Shutupman]

I don't get it. I think it's rude if you let one person pay. I wouldn't want to waste money on someone, if you have no idea if it's gonna become serious and so I wouldn't want the guy to waste his money. That way if it doesn't work out no one owes anyone anything. Always split fair and square. Asking someone out on a date is already proof enough of your intentions.

[EvilPimp]

If a woman tries to pay on the 1st date (Unless she's the one who asked out) its not going to sit well with me at all and I will let her pay I don't have time for little immature "tests" so if she does that, to me she's showing that she's clearly not a keeper at all. If my intentions are expected to be clear, then hers need to be clear as well. But even before the thought of even asking her out would even come up in my mind , we would have a discussion about dating equality and that discussion will determine if we would go out or not in the first place.

[MsLoli]

A woman wanting to pay isn't always a test or a false offer, although I suppose it might be more often than not if she says she'll pay rather than just pulling out her money at the end of the meal/activity/whatever.
I like splitting the bill with my man when I can afford it, and it's never done to "test" him. I do it because I appreciate him and don't think he should always have to foot the bill just because he was born with a penis.

[EvilPimp]

@MsLoli I know its not , but I'm saying that she shouldn't follow the "offering to pay when that's not her intention." that's offered as 1st date "advice" for women I don't know who came up with this concept, but a lot of women not all, but a lot think that offering to pay when they know that's not their intent is a sign of showing appreciation but its really showing disrespect in my book.

[EvilPimp]

Especially when she knows that's not her intent. Now if its her intent, that's different, but if she's offering just to "test" or something, then I'll let her pay so she can dismiss herself from my life and do us both a huge favor.

[MsLoli]

That's understandable. It shows she's disingenuous.

[QCpress]

O_o you shouldn't date do it because someone expects you to do it. You should be with girls that want to spend time with you not be wine and dine. If a person actually truly wants to spend time with you then it doesn't matter if you pay or she pays. It doesn't matter if you go to the dumbest thing ever or to the most expensive restaurant. It will be fun because you are both doing it together.

Girls who have those expectation will look down on you for not taking her on a proper date. Your a man so men have to do manly things.

If you are doing something because someone else expects it of you. Then you will do everything else because it's expect. Men don't cry so you should ever show your emotions, etc. Those are things guys used to do back then too.

[Paul09]

All this goes both ways. You are thinking the old fashioned way. How many unsuccessful first dates I've been on that I've paid. 1 date actually paid for me. Feels like gambling, where the odds are rarely on your side. Why am I interested, I pay, and don't get past a second date, which I usually end up paying too... 😑 Both sexes work, both can pay.

[myTake Owner]

I agree. It is gambling but chances of winning increases if you pay

[Paul09]

Then what what's when you find the "right one" does it mean you'll continue to pay for everything after? I personally say first dates both should pay their own. Then if you want to get serious and like the person you pay.