Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

Political_dude

The oldest topic of debate! Who should pay on first date? This is mytake explainig why men should pay on first date.

1) It Makes Your Intentions Clear

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

You pay for her = You’re interested in her. If those are not your intentions, irrespective of them women will think that way. not all women but many. It doesn’t matter how much costly food was, what kind of food you ate but who pays. If you can’t afford dinner in 5-star hotel, its OK. Coffee dates can be romantic too!

Many will argue that “If he said yes for the date that means he is interested” Not it’s not like that. Many people judge you after you spend some time with them. The first date is “That” time when you get to know each other. Paying for her is clear sign that you’re interested in her.

2) It makes her feel special

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

Women love chivalry! It can be opening door for them or paying for the date. It also makes you look like a gentleman and leaves a good impression. She’s not just another girl. She might be your next potential partner. You don’t want to ruin that chance, do you?

3) She’s something more than just friend

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

Dating is not in the same category as friendship. Dating is a selection process based on attraction and a bunch of other factors, such as shared values and common interests. Many say that I treat my partner like my friend and when going out with friends, we split the bill. But there is

difference

between dating someone and befriending them. She’s a special woman, make her feel special.

4) It’s not all about the money

THIS ISN’T ABOUT MONEY. It’s about how you make her feel. The thought that goes into a first date is more important than the money you spend. But it matters who spend it. If you’re broke, why not go for a romantic walk and buy the coffees and cake? Organize a picnic? Why not go to an exhibition or a live music night? Why not go on stargazing date? Women like the attention to detail; find out what she likes.


5) It has nothing to do with sexism

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

It has nothing to do with feminism or sexism. Paying for the first date does not imply that she’s weak or unable to pay for herself. It just shows that you are interested in her. It is just a chivalrous tradition which makes you a gentleman and hence attractive.

6) Not paying is a risk

It’s a test of character. When she offers to pay for the bill, she is testing you! Whether she is doing it subconsciously or not, she wants to know how you are going to react. Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G women do judge if you ask them to split the bill. In the real world, Over half (57%) of women claim they offer to help pay, but many women (39%) confessed they hope men would reject their offers to pay, and 44% of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay.

She might be an independent woman, but are you an independent man?

On a first date, she is trying to figure out what kind of guy you are. Are you a provider? Are you reliable? Are you generous? Paying for the bill suggests you are all of these things.

7) After all, It’s just the first date

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

If you read the title again, it’s just about the first date and not all of them. How much does a dinner cost? Just 20 Dollars. You can earn those 20 dollars even by spending your pass time one G@G. Claim a TGI Friday’s card and use it for your date. This take is all for the first date. If she’s not up for splitting bill after 3 – 4 dates then ask her to split after those dates and if she denies then you know what to do….

If you think why you should make her feel special, the answer is either you're interested or you know women's value is higher in dating market than men's.

PS: If you agree with me, Upvote this take and if you disagree, downvote it. I bet 100 percent Gagers agree with me and I won't receive single downvote!

Note: This is “MyTake” explaining my own opinion. You’re entitled to your opinion, feel free to share it. 😊


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Why Guys Should Pay For First Date
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Most Helpful Guy

  • OlderAndWiser
    I have always paid for everything ion every date, except if my partner wants to take me out for my birthday. If she brings a female friend along, I pay for the friend's meal, also.

    This is the process of, hopefully, finding a partner for the rest of your life. I am not looking for another friend. I am looking for a partner in romance and love. Every dollar that I spend is an investment in something that has far more value than money.

    When I ask a lady for a date, I don't ask her to "hang out" or "chill." I ask her for a "date." She knows my intentions. I ask her where she would like to go. If it is something that I don;t want to do, I tell her; otherwise, we go where she suggested. I make a reservation for dinner. I try to look my best with my grooming and clothes. I get my car washed. I am not more than 2 minutes early or late to pick her up. When we arrive at the restaurant, we use valet parking.

    She knows that she is being treated like a special lady but, if we progress into a relationship, she will understand that I want to be treated like a special man. I treat her the way that I want her to treat me. I pay for everything because that is what very traditional men do. I hope that she is a very traditional lady.

    At the end of the evening, she does not owe me sex because I paid for the meal. What she owes me is courtesy and respect.

    Many young people will think that I am trying too hard and doing too much to please her, that I am acting "whipped." None of my previous partners would ever call me "whipped," but they would say that I acted like a gentleman and made a very favorable first impression. That doesn't mean that every first date leads to a second date. Sometimes I do no feel the potential, the chemistry, with a lady, and I am honest with her about that. Sometimes she doesn't feel it.

    Whatever happened on the date, at the end of the day, I know that I conducted myself as a gentleman and I am proud of myself. That leads to more self-confidence and THAT is a bog part of what women are looking for.

    Nice myTake!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you :) I wish I could feature your opinion on this take. You're a true gentleman

    • More men like this would be a positive.

    • I agree, I'm doing the same.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • PrincessPie
    I've always appreciated a guy paying for the first date, i think it is chivalrous.
    Plus i like traditional gender roles.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I know that :)

    • But men on here seem to hate women who appreciate this gesture lol

    • 2opaz

      i would pay for out date.

      only you though

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

3064
  • coachTanthony
    I think I have posted this 100 times. LOL It never gets old!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM
    • Goodwifie

      I've watched this video and he makes perfect sense.
      It's all about having respect for the other person and putting in an equal amount of effort to the relationship.
      I didn't have a lot of dinner dates in my younger years, we did fun things we went out dancing instead.
      Later on we'd go on dinner dates one night a guy took me out for dinner and then a few days later we went on a picnic date and I spent the morning getting a picnic lunch ready. But most dates the bill would be split, although I did prefer the picnic dates best.

  • Logorithim
    If she wants to go Dutch on a date, I'd appreciate her telling me in advance, otherwise I expect to pay, and for more than just dinner, too, by the way (maybe, e. g., a musical performance or a sporting event).
  • BuchitaBuchys
    Couldn't this all be turned around why women should pay?
    How about going Dutch on the first date instead?
    • I'd argue that it's better if the man did NOT pay for the first date. Or not pay all of it.

    • I agree but that's your opinion but you come under 27% women who are ready to split without judging. What if the first date is from 73% ? (Refer to point 6)

    • Kiran04

      Given that most women expect to be treated, I'd say hell no. You even have the super entitled bitches who go up on talk shows and actually complain when men accept their OFFER to split the check. Why the fuck do you offer if you don't to split? They use it as a stupid test. Avoid that shit altogether. Just pay the damn tab, and if she rubs you wrong way never speak to her again.

    • Show All
  • madhatters4
    i understand all your points but they are sexist because it displays that only the male is supposed to send these messages. any notion that one sex does one thing in a relationship (beyond those of biological necessity) are sexist in that they are based on established gender roles
    • yes it is the nice thing to do, yes it can make them feel special, yes it may make intentions clear but why are those all things that men alone are supposed to do?

  • Shutupman
    I don't get it. I think it's rude if you let one person pay. I wouldn't want to waste money on someone, if you have no idea if it's gonna become serious and so I wouldn't want the guy to waste his money. That way if it doesn't work out no one owes anyone anything. Always split fair and square. Asking someone out on a date is already proof enough of your intentions.
  • Kkaos
    Sorry, this sounds like a bunch of chodey white knight bullshit. I don't care about making my intentions clear, or passing her 'tests'. Men who worry about that are men of low value.

    I pay... If I feel like it. If I like her and I've had a good time, I'll pay. It has nothing to do with how she thinks of me or attempting to be 'chivalrous'. I don't need to prove anything to her.

    And funny how you talk about how it's not sexist from a woman's perspective, how it doesn't mean women are weaker etc. Yet you completely ignore it from the man's perspective. Men - YOU should PAY... Yeah, because that's not sexist at all is it? Making someone pay just because of their gender? Noo... It's just traditional gender roles, right? But what about women's traditional gender roles? Women - YOU should stay at home and do housework! Is that not sexist too you? Or is it only sexist when it concerns women, it's fine to say a man should pay and then judge him and label him as 'cheap' if he doesn't, but how dare we ever judge a woman who doesn't conform to her traditional gender roles.
  • Paul09
    All this goes both ways. You are thinking the old fashioned way. How many unsuccessful first dates I've been on that I've paid. 1 date actually paid for me. Feels like gambling, where the odds are rarely on your side. Why am I interested, I pay, and don't get past a second date, which I usually end up paying too... 😑 Both sexes work, both can pay.
    • I agree. It is gambling but chances of winning increases if you pay

    • Paul09

      Then what what's when you find the "right one" does it mean you'll continue to pay for everything after? I personally say first dates both should pay their own. Then if you want to get serious and like the person you pay.

  • If she isn't officially your woman then don't pay. There is no risk neither.

    If a woman strongly desires you she isn't going anywhere because you decided not to give her a free dinner.
  • Red-Blaze
    There is no vote down XD

    These all sounds nice, but i don't ever agree to be paid for
    I find something that one side only pays to be wrong in many ways, its like one side feel sorry for wasting the time, or feel they need to pay for the taken time

    If both enjoy it, then paying for it dose not need to be there really, except maybe if it comes from other way (Like someone takes you to a really expansive place as he is paying for it)
    Only case i do let him pay is when in second date i pay

    I disagree also with where you say that its not sexism, if one side "needs" to pay and the other dose not, based on there sex, that is the definition of sexism
    Its not an insult, but why dose it need to go that way and not the other?

    I mean hell why not just say that the one that needs to pay is the one that earns more, or who ever picks it up first
    Don't think there is any reason that Male or Female needs to be the one to pay just as there of that or that sex

    So like i said if someone insets on it I do agree il see it nice, but they will need to know on the second meeting il make sure that i am paying for it all
  • UnaKaizen
    i dont think it matters he can be interested and lose interest whether he pays or not, if i see him and we go out again he's interested.

    same can be said for her, if she pays he knows she's interested. why do women need to be paid for to feel 'special'? when you value an object you pay for it. when you value a person you spend time not money. thats my opinion.

    i think one person paying set up a kind of paternalistic dynamic. its awkward. i dont liker it. plus first date i prefer free things that are not constrained by time nor money.
  • Nik1hil
    Technically men are evolved as a provider and if you aren't capable of paying for the date, then that just means you are not ready to mate,
    and bottom line..
    you need to work on yourself, no wonder most relationship end in chaos and broken hearts..
    • Markfish

      sounds like prostitution

    • Nik1hil

      @Markfish if that is how you want to perceive it.. then so be it.

    • Markfish

      You said if you aren't ready to pay you aren't ready to mate, how is that not prostitution?

    • Show All
  • passinby
    “It Makes Your Intentions Clear” What intentions does she expect exactly? Modern women don’t want anything serious, your “intentions” are futile.

    “It makes her feel special” This is more of an attention whoring phenomenon to report the results back to her friends

    “It has nothing to do with sexism” So let me get this straight only paying for the first date is not sexism but everything else I do is. Got it!

    The whole concept of "date" is dead- get over it.
  • samhradh_leannan
    I think this makes some amount of sense, for a first date specifically. It does make it clear that his intentions are romantic and that he's interested. Yes, that's a really helpful thing. But it's tough because I really don't want to have to expect a guy to pay just to know that he's interested. I'm very conflicted on this issue.
  • Astoriana
    Men: women are nothing but gold digging whores!!!

    Also men: only men can pay for dates!!! That is right and good!!!
    • You can't generalize who population of men, can you?

    • Astoriana

      If all Muslims can be terrorists, then all men can be hypocrites 🙂

    • Well, I don't think all Muslims are terrorist :) I actually wrote 2 takes about it but too lazy to search them

    • Show All
  • Juxtapose
    No no no no! Her having a vagina and me having a penis does not mean I am the provider in the relationship. If they want free stuff they should go get sugar daddy because I'm poor.

    And what's up with women expecting men to put forth all the *real* in a relationship? I don't care if it's a damn tradition. People who fall traditions are simple-minded ignoramuses.
    • Juxtapose

      *follow traditions

    • Juxtapose

      *real effort (I hate not being able to edit my comments)

  • Schrodingerscat
    Are we still on that? Lmao

    Why is it even topic worth discussing? 😂
  • Tasos96
    1) Don't play dumb in most cases you know the guy's intentions.
    2) It's not all about you and you can't be considered special on the first date (plus men like to feel special too)
    3) Same as no. 1 applies
    4) True not all about the money, but it's about the gesture (DISCLAIMER: It's a two way street otherwise why should the guy date you?)
    5) It's about sexism, ONLY whenever it suits women
    6) Paying IS a risk. It's only the first date I hardly know you ! It would make sense to pay later on, instead of risking getting dumped by a girl who wanted a free meal. (Obviously depends on income and cost of restaurant but not everyone has a comfortable living so for them it's a risk)
    7) Exactly it's the first date ! So don't expect too much !

    I must note that I like to play the devil's advocate and I am not against the man (or the woman) paying on the first date, but neither am I against splitting. I think someone should pay ONLY if they feel like it and not feel pressured to do so. If they don't like you just because you didn't pay on the FIRST date then they can fuck off. Also if they accept you paying so easily or show some kind of expectation that you'll pay for me it's a red flag and they're not worth your time.
    You're free to start war against me now. Thank you :P
    • Tasos96

      Only just realised that it was a guy who has posted. Anyways the way I expressed most of my opinions is towards girls in general

  • OnAColdWinterNight
    Fuck that. You wanted equality, you pay for your fucking drink, you pay for your part of the meal, and I don't want to hear you bitch about it, because if you do, guess what, i'm going to have to take "an important call", step out, and leave you with the bill.

    Equality, bitches. Fuck yeah
  • Ripper_E
    1. Paying for a first date DOES NOT make intentions clear. You don't need to pay to let her know you are interested in her.
    2. A woman doesn't necessarily feel special. A lot are actually offended if you don't allow them to pay. Some feel special. It's always a nice feeling to have someone pay for you.
    3. Just like it doesn't indicate you are interested, it doesn't indicate that she's more than a friend. She might not even be a friend to begin with, and if she is a friend, then you wouldn't need to fork up money to show her you are interested. The fact that you're on a date makes that clear, not the money.
    4. Doesn't back up the point of this take
    5. The man should pay is already a sexist statement. No different than a woman should cook. It can indeed be chivalrous for a man to opt to pay for the first date or any date for that matter, but "Guys should pay for the first date" is already sexist.
    6. How is not paying a risk if it's not about the money? Women saying one thing and expecting another is nothing new. A lot of women also expect the man to make the first move and often end up disappointed for not taking matters into their own hands. The women that don't expect it are the ones that are worth it. It's just money.

    I have paid, but not because it was expected of me. If money is expected, especially on a first date, that says a lot about HER character more than mine.
    My opinion
  • Kuraj
    "Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G women do judge if you ask them to split the bill."

    Well, that is cute.
    But I would judge 100% of them, if they *haven't* asked me to split the bill.

    I guess I expect the person at the other side to try impressing me too.
    Fuck me, right?
  • LegateLanius
    What about him feeling special?
    • I don't know lol. I already feel special if she works on her looks and looks great on "that" day and it also depends on her behavior. That's a beta thing I know

    • what's a beta thing?

  • dragonfly6516
    I don't want him paying for the first date because I will feel bad if I don't have a good time, and lots of men out there think all women are prostuitues who accept dinner as payment for sex. I enjoy sex, and I don't want the first time feel like an obligation.

    If we both have a good time, and a second date happens, whoever made those plans can pay next time.
  • Wolframium
    No. Only reason is sexism against men. Which we don’t talk about, I’m sorry. Pay for yourself. Intention? You can make them clear anyway, it’s not dependent on guys wallet.
    Am I too myself, or point 2 is…kind of irrelevant? I mean…she can feel special for other reasons.
    3: OK. Tell her.
    5: Yes, it has. It is sexist. Seriously, It’s plain and simple.
  • disgustingweebtrash
    This take only confirms that dating is a one sided road
  • fueledbythc
    This is why i dont date. Women feel too entitled in the dating game so why should i cater to bullshit that will not be appreciated but something they feel is an expectation.
  • Good_Behavior
    Your premise isn't sound. If paying money for a date is about making someone feel special versus just the willingness to actually grant them a moment of your time then I think you've lost sight of the original problem which is the discovery of whether you want to waste any more time on another person.

    It is very much so about money if one assumes a social custom has the value of actually replacing the original intention behind the meeting to begin with. In short it is the interviewer buying the interviewee lunch with the intention to make them feel good before finally deciding to simply not hire them.

    After all, on a first date, it does not act as a guarantee when you pay out a few dollars that you're serious about the person. In fact it works the opposite way as is a means to flaunt wealth and power because the idea is that it is also your first impression. From a sociological position it is very wrong; if your "first date" costs $20 to you then you didn't do it right and paying that defeats the entire purpose because you just sent the signal that you actually DON'T have the clout you just tried to prove you do.

    All-in-all this isn't a well-constructed opinion because it totally ignores the actual nature of what offering funds is supposed to genuinely do.
  • BronzedAdonis
    you shouldn't be splashing out and spending money on the 1st date, 2nd or even 3rd.

    don't spend money on women until you get to know them, trust them and they're a serious girlfriend.
  • Introvert94
    I've never paid for the 1st date and always split it. I think I will pay the next time to see if there's a difference in how things turn out down the line or how it makes me feel. Most women want to split.
  • Caaarl
    Chivalry the origin of chivalry is about women being the weaker sex and needed to be protected. I don't understand why any of these reasons make sense. If a woman truly values you she won't make you pay for her time. Men should value themselves and pay their own way.
  • Halucinator
    This is the best take of yours pd😍
    Wait!! Isn't this one featured?😳
  • CT_CD
    It's funny how women will judge you and be turned off if you refuse to pay for their food that they ordered. I've even heard women say that the guy won't be getting a second date if he doesn't pay for her. Just lol. It's the first date and you're both just trying to get to know each other. The guy shouldn't be obligated to pay for some girl who's not even his girlfriend. You might not even see her again. Some women go on dates just to get free food. I say you both pay for whatever you order or split the bill until you're actually in a relationahip.
    • CT_CD

      I upvoted this myTake anyway because I'm nice

    • The rumour is true. I've experienced it as well. I agree a guy shouldn't be obliged to pay but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay.

    • Markfish

      "but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay." that literally makes those women prostitutes

  • FatherJack
    Simple.. the inviter pays for the invited , which will be the male at least 90% of the time. However... keep it inexpensive and simple & preferably short too , esp for a first date , this reduces pressure on BOTH parties & weeds out the freebie meal users too.
  • kimberleylove
    Nice take but i don't like the guy paying all the bills
  • Afrochick
  • Shallan
    Guys appreciate all the points listed here as well. I think if you reach the end of the date and both people say "I'm paying", it's a pretty good sign for both the girl AND the guy. If one person is completely silent and just "expects" their meal paid for, the other person might seriously get to wondering if he/she wasn't just hanging out for food (that is a thing, apparently). I can also see where it might seem like a sign of indifference if one party immediately said "separate bills" upon conclusion of the meal.
    It's much more relieving to see your partner want to pay as much as you do. So just both say it.
    Once you BOTH make your intentions clear, you can then make plans for one person to pay this time, and the other to pay the next round. Flip a coin if you have to.

    • Shallan

      (Oh and by the way. ----That also gives you an excellent opportunity to plan/talk about the next date.)

  • SirRexington
    No. First date should be both paying unless specifically stated otherwise. The first date is about trial and error, so to have the best and most fair experience both the man and woman should have to pay.
  • SarahsSummer
    I agree 100%! Like you said, it’s not about the money or sexism and it’s just the first date.
  • Guanfei
    You should pay for the first date, unless you know there will be a second and she'll pay.
    Otherwise you're just a free meal for a girl who will then move on to the next milk cow.
  • dubbs2115
    I went out with a girl the other day and she insisted on splitting it, i told her no that i got it the first time and she said she hated when people pay for her, so i told her i could respect that so she didn't feel like she owed me.
  • GirlOfApathy25
    I think, whoever asked the other out should be the one to pay.
  • Plumy
    Everyone agrees yey!
    • Only 5 out of 36 lmao

    • Plumy

      No one down voted though! 😄
      I like it because it is an opinion and it is quite flexible unlike some other opinions who say "he has to do everything for her" or "she has to do everything for him", like this it is more relax ✌

    • Plumy

      Look! Someone disagrees that everyone agrees aww... I should have wrote everything first! 😄

    • Show All
  • Chantel77
    Agreed but that doesn't mean the girl should purposely order something pricey, just get something you'll actually enjoy eating
  • TripleAce
    Every women I've been on a date with and there been quite a bit lol
    The ones that expect a date to be paid are usually the ones that aren't fully there for you

    The girls that didn't expect it, and its obvious. Were my favs because their time that was given to me felt genuine. A fair trade. My time for her time. It felt real
    And our relationships had substance
    The ones that wanted paid dates. Trust me. You'll always be on the hook for something down the line

    Due note: the girls that didn't expect it. Were actually given the best most expensive dates
  • Coconut_Man
    I think the asker should pay because I've always seen a date as you 'treating' the other person to drinks/food/movies etc..

    Good Take 👍
  • lilaqua
    The idea of someone paying for me is not romantic in the slightest, if I have to i'll try to fight with him to pay at the counter.
  • zorba93
    That's all to do with cultural traditions and education but the tendency now tend to be splinting between both in some countries like Spain for example.
  • 2opaz
    1) It Makes Your Intentions Clear

    so it's like legal prostitution right?
    • if we went on a date 2opaz i know you'd pay for me.

    • 2opaz

      @PrincessPie it's like you know me

      yes i would, anything for the princess

  • Kiran04
    Yes, guys should pay on the first date, but a first date should never be expensive. Even spending $30 is too much. I'd say keep it under $25. First dates are never a guarantee, so spend accordingly. If she wants to go someplace expensive on the first date then you need to walk away right away. It's not about the money unless one of you makes it about the money, and the choice of venue is the determining factor in that. Don't take her to McDonald's, but you can get a nice dinner at Chill's for around $20 a person. Also, observe closely on how much she spends on alcohol. If she's going for $10 cocktails on your dime when you barely know each other then it's time to bail. If she even hints that she's taking advantage of your kindness then run. Run far and fast. And toss her the golden shovel.
  • Wollu
    I don't pay. I used to do it before I realized it's stupid.
  • zagor
    I have no problem with paying on a first date, but understand it's not going to be some $90 dinner - just drinks and appetizers.
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