I know what you’re thinking: “Omg, again with this first date stuff. Can we PLEASE talk about something else?” This topic has been huge the past few days on this website, and has been big everywhere else for eternity. People still wonder who should pay for the first date, and make up conclusions in their head of how it should go.
Some girls (and some guys even) still think that the guy should always pay for the first date no matter what. Some even try to justify it with flawed and fallacious arguments. This had inclined me to believe that guys simply did not want to pay at all anymore and wanted to go their own way (which is understandable) as I read through some of the comments on this myTake: Why You Should Man Up and Pay For the First Date
It also led me to ask my own question (Guys, do you mind paying the bill for the first date?), and the results were rather surprising. 56% of the guys who had answered said that they have no issue whatsoever with going into their wallet and pulling out a 50 dollar bill to cover the costs of them and their lady. With all the responses on that myTake, I thought that most guys were against the idea. This seemed like a paradox.
So, do guys mind paying the bill or do they don't?
As I read through the responses, it let me understand why guys only open their wallets for certain, special chicks, so I decided to write a short article on my findings.
Why aren’t guys paying for the first date anymore?
They don’t like the sense of entitlement that some girls have.
Let’s be real, nobody is entitled to anyone’s money, and you’re especially not entitled to it from a guy you probably met a few weeks prior. Girls who act that they are entitled to a free meal just for the simple fact that they are a woman are a huge turn off, and are one of the reasons that guys don’t want to pay for their meal: Entitlement is NOT attractive. They don’t want to open their wallets to a female who acts like a princess and carries the expectation of a free meal from them. The fact that some women EXPECT a free meal is what has guys turning up their noses at paying, and this is what pisses most guys off the most about this whole thing.
They don’t want to feel used.
I’m sure you don’t want to feel used, but HE doesn’t either. Feeling used is a pretty shitty feeling. Expecting a man to pay is sort of dehumanizing, and it’s like you’re using him for a free meal. This is probably what men feel like when you ask them, “Aren’t you going to pay for tonight?” He is not an ATM, or the provider of a free meal to you, he is a person too. He probably made the effort to ask you out on the date and to take you to this nice, fancy restaurant, and you repay him with the ingrained notion of expecting him to pay for your food? The first thing that needs to go is that sense of entitlement. Women are not entitled to free meals just because we have a vagina between our legs. Stop using him as your personal bank, get rid of the expectation of him whiping out his wallet to pay, and take initiative to pay for your own meal. You’ll probably be 10 times more attractive to him by not looking like a damsel in distress and he may even come back for a second date.
They feel as if girls don’t want true equality, and only want the benefits.
Sorry, ladies, but this is not the early 1900s anymore. Times are changing, fast. The brave ladies in history fought so hard for what we have today. We have equal rights, and are finally equal to men. However, we don’t want to take on the whole responsibility of being truly equal. We want the good points of being equal, but we leave out the bad, which includes some of us having the hardwired expectation of having a man pay for our meal.
That’s like making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but cutting off the crust because you don’t like it.
Yeah, it’s “traditional” and “chivalrous” to have a macho manly man pay for your meal, but chivalry is not only for woman and it applies to everyone. Also, traditional is not always better and to argue that it’s traditional is an appeal to tradition fallacy, as if you really wanted to be truly traditional, you would want to give up your rights as a woman all together that your fellow females fought so hard to give you. Stay at home with the kids. Quit your job. Maybe when you get home you could spread your legs since you want to be traditional.
The point that I am trying to make here is that… most guys don’t even mind paying, and are all for the idea if the girl doesn’t act entitled to it, and doesn’t try to make up bullshit arguments to try to justify why paying the bill is a REQUIREMENT...because there’s no valid reason as to why guys should be obligated to pay.
If a guy pays for you, it’s most likely because he WANTS to and LIKES you. He thinks you’re a good person personality wise and just wants to be nice. Also, it’s probably because he didn’t sense the entitlement wafting off of you in billows. He probably will come back for a second date because he feels as if you’re worth it.
So, if he pays, it’s a privilege, not a right. Cherish it, and maybe buy him dessert afterwards as he was not obligated to do so.
If not, be prepared to go in half, or if you’re that generous, pay for the both of you. Equality for everyone.
These are just my thoughts on this argument. Do you have any other reasons? Do you disagree? If so, please be RESPECTFUL.
Thanks for reading. :)