GaG User Video: Should Men Always Pay on the First Date?

[blondfrog]

Here in this Take - and my video below - I will be discussing what I and others think about the debate of men having to pay the bill on a first date with a woman.

I think that just as long as both of them are okay with how the bill should be paid, okay then it should be no problem; to me I think they should just split the bill. Here in my video, you will see me going up to random strangers I didn't know at all with a video camera and asking them whether they thought the men should pay the bill on a first date.

I got some pretty interesting responses at bars and in public out in the streets!

I think maybe if they don't there is not much of a commitment there is what one of the ladies said

j

I hope you enjoyed this mytake of mine.

#GaGVideoContest

[the_rake]

you basically failed at blurring that guys face. but good job overall.

As for the question you asked, there's no way men should have to pay. Women are supposed to enjoy the man's time as much as the man enjoys their's. That's the whole point: you can't PAY somebody to share an experience that's meant to be mutually beneficial. The whole, "if the man asked the woman out, he should pay" dogma is bull: either you want to go on a date and share valued time with somebody or you don't. It becomes even worse when the man's expected to pay for the date to get sex: these guys are stuck in the 1950s.

[blondfrog]

Yeah I agree with you too. And yeah lol I know but I got better at bluring his face near the end :D.

[the_rake]

" I got better at bluring his face near the end"

too late, lol. what programme did you use?

[blondfrog]

Just youtube blur lol. Do you know any better programns?

[the_rake]

yeah on windows live movie maker you can use the webdings font then 'g' on caption and use that as a blur.

[blondfrog]

I did use that actually lol that's what the black bar around that guy in the very beginning of the video was lol.

[the_rake]

ah, well I concede that it's a little awkward to use.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Yes, that dislike is me.

And it's about this "The whole, "if the man asked the woman out, he should pay" dogma is bull: either you want to go on a date and share valued time with somebody or you don't."

I do believe whoever invites, pays. That's the rules. I've invited men out, my exes, and paid.
Ideally both should pay, and the other party should offer but it's not their job to if they didn't invite. The responsible for payment falls on the person who invited.

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

"that dislike is me."

i.ytimg.com/vi/bt6zf1Cchr8/maxresdefault.jpg

"I do believe whoever invites, pays."

So, in practice, you believe that man should pay. Let's not beat around the bush.

"I've invited men out, my exes, and paid."

You're in a minority of women who ask men out.

"The responsible for payment falls on the person who invited."

It shouldn't matter who invited out who. If you both enjoy and value each other's time and attention it is a totally humiliating and a joykill to make one party pay because of some misplaced sense of social etiquette that has it's roots in the days of religiously institutionalised monogamy.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Then don't ask women out if it's that much of a burden

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

"Then don't ask women out"

Nah.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Then stop complaining lol

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

Nah

[BuchitaBuchys]

Te jodes

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

hush now, you wouldn't want fathoms to stumble on this.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lol why would I care?

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

Because then you'll get your post deleted and will affect your overall rep, e. g. if you want to become an editor. I dunno maybe you don't care, but I care because I like you :)

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lmao I don't care about becoming an editor right now. I hear you have to pump out at least 2/month. That's too much pressure and I write takes I feel passionate about. And that's spontaneous, not 2x/month type of thing

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys nah consultantisback was an editor and he wrote like two the whole time he was a member of GAG

[BuchitaBuchys]

Are you trying to recruit me or something? Lol

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys I don't care lol

[BuchitaBuchys]

Seems like you do. Don't worry, I'll pay for our date ;)

[the_rake]

I like to do the asking out :)

[ForScience]

@BuchitaBuchys When women expect men to pay for their dates, theyre saying that their time is more valuable than the mans, and that she is more important and needs to more or less be payed for it.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@ForScience I didn't say that. I said whoever asks out. Pays. Man or woman

[Puppylove94]

I think it depends on who asks who out. I personally would never ask a guy out, i wait until he asks me on a date. Therefore guys have always paid on my first dates. It's also very attractive knowing somebody is able to take care of you-- I'm a very independent person and it's nice to give the guy the upper hand... Let go of that control a bit

[ElissaDido]

Yes I know it's different in the West but if I date a guy from my area and he doesn't even ask to pay then he's a cheap ass.
Nice video:))

[Slikmix]

So are you for expecting him to pay.

[blondfrog]

Lol your gonna get a lot of hate for that comment.

[GrapeJuice]

Cheap ass? Lol. W

[GrapeJuice]

Women are sick. They have nothing more to offer than appearence. We as men are expected to pay, s does that make women prostitutes? In any case, maybe they choose not to pay because the girl is below average, like you.

[ElissaDido]

@GrapeJuice Bye Bye cheap Ass

[GrapeJuice]

Bye bye four eyes.

[ElissaDido]

@GrapeJuice Stop breathing up all the air bruh

[Xseed]

dating is a dance, it requires both to be on their feet. paying for the first date is pretty simple i think. its just the start. i dont really put too much attention into it. but for the sake of the argument. Men should pay, yes. however, women should ask to pay as well. someone said that men paying first shows his commitment to her. not really true. a guy who has a lot of money could take out 5 different girls in a week with change out of his pocket. does that mean he's committed to all those women? no, paying doesn't mean more commitment. besides, no woman would want to see a large level of commitment on the first date anyway.
dont measure a guy by his ability to pay for stuff. while i believe men should pay, dont EXPECT that of him all the time. someone also said that women spend a lot of money already to make themselves presentable to men. but makeup and fitness stuff that she spends money on, is for herself to look good for "men" and to look good in general. So she may already spend money to look good but its not for just that one guy, its for everyone that looks at her. including herself. That poor college guy who only had enough money for just one date decides to spend it on ONE girl. see the difference? you may say, "well if he's broke then he shouldn't be taking girls out." good point. then how else will he have any meaningful relationship? must be 5 years later when he's out of college and has a good job with money but no time to take women out.
my point is, yes the guy should pay for the first date. but women should also appreciate this gesture a lot more because you dont know if he just spent his entire week of food money for you because he likes you.

[Anonymous]

I'm tired of women expecting more than they offer. "It's chivalrous." It's bullshit. Anyone can afford to buy one meal. That proves he knows women expect it. That's all. "I want to know he can provide- its evolution."
So is a woman's ability to dig for roots and tubers and the ability to carry water. Yet I don't require a silly demonstration of that, to see if I'm attracted to her, I can more accurately determine that, through time and conversation together.

They just like free shit which undermines the 'I'm a strong independent woman' bull.
If you like getting free shit your just using someone.

[blondfrog]

Hmm yeah I can see why you would think that. I think some were just raised that way cause they were told that's like showing manners if a man pays.

[LittleSally]

But then you disregard every man who said it's the manly thing to do too?
So you're just attacking women?
interesting...
No... sarcasm...

[Opinion Owner]

@LittleSally the only reason I specifically addressed women is because that's who's meal I have to cover. The fact that many men feel this is somehow a show of manliness speaks to a truth we all know and accept: many men are morons. No real pressing need to address that. But so we don't have any ovaries out there feeling unfairly criticised for an antiquated tradition turned free meal; I offer you this: any man who figures paying for a meal proves manliness or is a requirement of his 'male duty' is probably more suited to living in a cave anyways, eating the bear he wrestled and enjoying the roots and tubers you collected for him. Maybe he won't club you for sex after. Maybe he will. But at least he will fend off attackers from the water supply and he will suffer your existance just because he has a slightly better chance of survival if your around. And occasionally he has urges.
This in turn allows for your survival and the ability to fulfil your genetic urges as well.

[ForScience]

The likes to dislikes ratio goes to show how right you are.

[Relentless_Hippie]

Amazing video, I absolutely adore you for submitted your take! I hope it inspires others to do the same, this is so exciting!

As for the question, if it's the very first date with a complete stranger then it'd be weird for me. I would probably get his number first speak to him for a few days to get a feel of what he's like and then perhaps go on some fairly simple and cheap/free dates to begin with.

If it's a guy who is asking me out then sure he could pay, but I also don't mind paying for my own stuff or splitting the date if we're doing several things in one day. My boyfriend and I tend to split bills all the times, usually when he covers everything is when he wants to treat me and vice versa but if it's a mutual thing then both people should.

[blondfrog]

Haha thanks! I would have put myself on film but I didn't have any cameraman with me or friend who would. But yeah I think that if you do let someone pay for you for whatever it maybe you should at least return the favor later besides just with sex lol.

[Relentless_Hippie]

Oh, well for me personally I don't have sex haha so I'd just return the kindess with paying for my own stuff or getting them gifts or something. xD

[blondfrog]

Lol good to know :D

[godfatherfan]

The one who asks for the date should pay. That being said, even if the woman asked me out, I would still feel that the man should pay for the first date. I do believe that each should take turns after that. If the man has the money to pay each time, then I would rather that happen. Unfortunately, I don't. I am not even dating currently because I don't have the money to date. And the truth is that the man usually gets stuck with the first few dates. Women are lucky in that they can just date for free. So I just don't have the $150-$300 that it takes to get past the first few dates until she is comfortable just hanging out at each others house instead of going out.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Ok $150 - $300seems like a lot for a date to me. Is she ordering lobster and champagne every time or something?

[BelleGirl21]

Totally agree

[godfatherfan]

I didn't say $150-$300 a date. I said it takes several dates to get to the point of being able to mostly just hang out at each others houses. The woman needs to know the guy well enough first and wants to meet and go out somewhere public the first few times. Those "first few times" will easily add up to that much. Just 1 dinner for 2 is going to run you $30 to $50 depending on where you go. a movie is $20-$22 just for tickets. Add another $20 if your getting pop and popcorn.
The cheapest date I have ever had was the last one I went on. Tough I don't consider that first meeting a date until there is a 2nd date. I met her for drinks. It came to $13 plus I left $5 tip since we took up a table for 3 hours. But the restaurant was almost empty the whole time so I didn't feel too bad. If I go to a busy restaurant, I will leave a larger tip.

[godfatherfan]

sorry, Though... not tough... lol...
That is why I am not dating right now, I can't afford it. It is nice to be a woman. The man has to make all the moves, pay for things. I would love for a woman to come after me the way I am expected to go after her...

[Anonymous]

I ALWAYS pay even if I don't like the girl. I've been taken for a sucker a few times (girls looking for free meal tickets... cunts). However if I want to get physical with the girl I have no choice. Only exception if she is really REALLY into me. I have had girls buy me drinks before.

Also I think a "feminist" should never EVER have the man pay for a first date. She should say "we are going dutch" before the date even starts. If she does milk the female benefit she is dbag cunt hypocrite. Sadly there are many women out there milking the double standards.

With that said I have the most amazing girlfriend ever right now that sometimes gets me meals, buys me gifts, etc. I do most of the spending but she is absolutely no freeload at all. She is also way younger than me and not making that much money. Love her a lot for her thoughtfulness and fairness. I don't think twice about treating her out... ever.

[blondfrog]

Hhaa yeah man there is def a double standard there with women and with men as well. Hey at least you had come across some amazing women.

[Opinion Owner]

for every 7 mediocre women, 3 Dbag women (yes this includes you feminists) I occasionally run into a decent girl.

My current girl is beautiful, motivated (pre med student), giving, very into me (including sexually), responds to my kindness with genuine kindness. She is also way younger (21) which makes it even more surprisingly interesting.

We've only been dating for about 4 months. So I'm not going to speak too soon. But so far so good. So for all you frustrated guys out there remember not all women are bad, it's a numbers game. Just takes a lot of trial and error.

[AlphaMale1]

The first meeting is not really a date. It is to see if there is a shared interest to spend more time together.

On my online dating profiles I include in the part of what a first date should be that it is dutch. We each pay for what we ordered. The main reason is I had a woman tell me a few years ago that see sees dating as free food. I am serious. That is about as selfish as it gets!

If she really can't afford to spend money on a light lunch to talk over then there are ways to have an initial meeting that does not take money.

If I am considered a cheap bastard because of this then we would most likely never get along and it is best we spent the time on an initial meeting with someone who does not revolve around the love of money.

[DandelionGirl]

I dont expect a man to pay for my meal or my coffee on the first date, so I dont mind paying for him and myself. But in the past, guys were quicker than me to pay for my meal.

So it really depends on the person you're out with. Today people dont want guys to pay because its a new generation, new rules and new standards and everyone can fend for themselves.

So in my opinion, men should pay for the first date just to be chivalrous. But the woman can also chip in. But that won't always be the case. You will always have that question and wonder whether men or women should pay.

Good myTake :-)

[Bandit74]

Nice job dude. I commend you for being the first one with the guts to actually make a video 🖒

Anyways, I hated how they all said yes.

"I think maybe if they don't there is not much of a commitment there"

How come that doesn't apply to them? Why is it the man has to prove his commitment by paying for date while they don't =.=

[blondfrog]

I do live in a somewhat hick town too lol like more conservative state so that's probably a factor like environment and age? The one woman at the very end said it depends who asked who out on the date.

[DaniaMQ]

I personally think that as long as they agree it doesn't matter. They shouldn't fight coz of that after all XD its nicer if the guy pays, it just how its been for ages, but there's nothing wrong if the girl wants to pay or if they want to divide it between them. Who cares as long as they agree?

[blondfrog]

Yeah I think its a stupid rule money shouldn't measure love right?

[DaniaMQ]

Absolutely right. 👍

[BelleGirl21]

I'm old fashioned so yes I think the man should pay. Bring on the downvotes.

[blondfrog]

Just the first date or all of them?

[BelleGirl21]

Just the first.

[blondfrog]

Is it because you think the man wouldn't value as much if didn't pay on the first date?

[BelleGirl21]

Not at all. I just think that chivalry has a place along with etiquette and I appreciate it.

[blondfrog]

Okay got ya.

[Puppylove94]

Completely agree with you

[RainbowFanGirl]

Everyone is butthurt lol

[Puppylove94]

@RainbowFanGirl they're cheap asses lol

[blondfrog]

@Puppylove94 But its okay for a woman to be a cheap ass? lol

[RainbowFanGirl]

No but my dad is one. He never pays when we go out he always expects for my mom to pay.

[blondfrog]

@RainbowFanGirl That's bad too.

[Ujsjsks]

Out of curiosity why don't you pay for him? Or for yourself? Are you old fashioned in every way or do you want equality too out of interest?

[Ujsjsks]

@Puppylove94 u think it's cheap to now pay for some else? Ohh my

[raspberry0416]

The thing is, if the guy doesn't pay I would tend to think he's not really interested in me, or he doesn't have his financial shit together, or what not. It doesn't look good. Unless you're willing to take that risk or have a conversation about gender equality on the first date, it's safer to pay. Or at least offer to pay and see if she declines. And no this isn't "fair" to men but it's how it is.

[blondfrog]

You could say the same about a woman.

[Ratiocinative]

Assuming the man actually wants the date to go as well as possible, then duh. Of course he should pay. Even if a woman doesn't need a provider, she is still subconsciously attracted to a provider. Spliting the bill creates a "you're on your own" vibe that will only decrease attraction.

If you don't want to spend money on a fancy restaurant then don't go to one. Or don't go to one at all. I reserve food and drinks till several hours into a date, and if things go well, and they usually do, we'll have kissed by then and $30 on drinks and a meal is fine.

No woman I've ever been out with has complained, most can't keep their hands off me, so you don't need to spend money to have fun and attract a woman. If anything, I think being able to have a great date without spending much money contributes to her attraction.

[desidoll]

Interesting :)

Different culture, different view. Here men will always pay for the first few dates. If he doesn't, he'll able to get a girl to be with him, but I'd say not a girl that he really finds attractive. I'm very traditional so I guess I live at the right place, right country :)

[LouisvilleGirl826]

I think it would be nice if he at least offered to pay; if he insists on it then I'd insist on paying the next time and we could work out an alternating system; He picks the movie, I'll pay for it, I pick the restaurant, he pays for the dinner. I'd feel bad making him pay for everything, I don't like feeling like I'm taking advantage

[LaVilaine]

Is it weird that I can't really understand what anyone is saying, despite knowing that they're speaking in very clear English?

[blondfrog]

Is English your 1st language?

[LaVilaine]

It is, strangely enough. Either that one guy was drunk and slurring or the sound quality isn't good.

[blondfrog]

The first guy was lol the others weren't its probably their accent.

[LaVilaine]

I must be used to the honky backwater Newfies 😜

[blondfrog]

Hhaha lol yeah sorry you couldn't' understand I have subtitles in that video just click the subtitles button and it will read what they said to you :)

[LaVilaine]

Tried that. It didn't really work.

[blondfrog]

Yeah I'd have to go in there and personally fix it you can do that the uploader can go to settings and add the words themselves when the people's voice speak.

[Tomboy_Cool]

@LaVilaine ur not the only one haha

[mistixs]

Yes, men should pay. Women have to spend tons of time, money, and energy on looking good to appease men's "visual" senses; it's only fair that men spend money on women's gustatory senses.

[blondfrog]

Not all women wear make up some are naturally attractive what is your argument towards that?

[ForScience]

What? The only people who hold women to such a standard, is other women. I can almost guarantee that almost every guy would prefer you to wear a ponytail, sweats, and a tanktop.

[mistixs]

@ForScience studies show the opposite "Male judges were less favorable when the women were cosmetics free; female judges were not differentially affected."

[mistixs]

www.tandfonline.com/.../00224545.1989.9712051

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Out of curiosity what does it cost you in time and money.
As a guy I started trying hair fibers recently and they do work temporarily I also use aftershave sometimes and then there's gym membership and supplements + it's hours a week of time and effort. Then there's things like suits and shavers etc

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Well done - That might start the ball rolling on the contest - Someone had to metaphorically break the ice.

[blondfrog]

Yeah it might inspire others.

[Anonymous]

If the guy is paying for everything he probably expects something to happen which basically makes it indirect prostitution with a bit of roulette chucked in.
Personally if things didn't go well and I thought before hand she expected me to pay because i'm a guy Id excuse my self early to leave her with the bill without even feeling bad.
If she said before hand to split though id split, but being expected to pay just annoys me. I don't like feeling used.

[RainbowFanGirl]

I bet this will be the only entry. It looks like nobody else is entering.

[blondfrog]

I think that rgravey train girl is entering and dangersdodge guy.