Nerds... Trust Your Brain!

[pavlove]

Nerds are notoriously bad at dating. They get into their own heads...overthinking constantly...respond to emotional situations logically. Don't think just feel. Let go. No, not so Nerd. Your greatest obstacle is your greatest strength.

You aren't socially retarded, you're actually socially too advanced.

The problem isn't that you see too little of the subtle social microbehaviors that people do in everyday interactions...it's that you see too much! A lot of people you don't like and in fact its very few people who make a really good impression on you and yet you sense the same thing in others and freaks you out. While some people just talk and talk and give no f*cks that the person doesn't really like them...yet...you're very aware that you're being a little strange and talking too much and so you shut up and you get shy. They don't know "how they're so popular" they just are somehow. Again, this is because they don't see social rejection and just keep plowing through with their personality and then people are like oh ok I kind of like this guy or girl.

But instead of getting shy...you can get SMART. Its like dancing...when you go to a club and see people dancing you're like woah how they're doing it but after only a few dance classes you see what they're doing is incredibly basic. Similarly, you're super smart nerd brain can, if it stops beating up on itself and getting insecure, realize that it's capable of realizing and understanding whats going on pretty much in every social situation. People cease to surprise you their actions and behaviors cease to surprise you. You get it you get why they get mad or sad or happy or in love. And so you can kind of manipulate it. Which kind of makes you a dick. But then again you're only being a rational thinking organism. People say things all the time to make people happy or mad or in love they just do so with totally disregard for the things they know to be true such as telling a person how amazing THEY are so that they can love you more. So don't fight it, nerd.

You can realize that most of the way we behave is determined and regulated by our environment and so nothing bad happens really when you break rules.

There's a reason those sci fi movies about people realizing you're the only real one is so cool and relatable even though being totally nonsense. Basically lets take America. In america as oppose to south america if you grab a girls ass five seconds after talking with her you WILL get slapped and everyone will think you're a creep but in some places in south america its the culture for men to be this aggresive. And in countries like denmark its not socially acceptable to do that even in the club (americans often think the men are really passive when they first visit the country's club scene.)

As a nerd, this is just a different game with a different set of rules. the problem is you tell yourself that you can't win. You tell yourself that the way you're supposed to play the game is the only way you can play it. You feel like you'll get hurt if you stop playing the rules and you learn not to trust your brain to figure out other ways. going back to the example, a lot of "pick up" will say just do it and get desensitized to it but you're like no that's really really strange. It's strange! I'm not crazy that its strange jsut to grab a girls ass like that. So...um...don't? Play it normal but simply play it well. do it playfully when you're hugging her for some other reason as if you're "falling for each other" ok maybe that wouldn't work but you get my point.

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so to repeat there's nothing wrong with being a nerd in love. let your brain guide you to be an amazing guy or girl. trust your instincts, your worries, your tastes. don't feel pressured to be different from yourself. Yourself is built to win based on the fact that on some level you are more than capable of understanding how its all played. It's really not that hard...

[John_Doesnt]

I don't need a girlfriend; I'm Batman.