An Analysis of Geeks and Nerds

BringerofDawn
It seems that Americans have a tendency to divide themselves into categories:There exist enough stereotypes to allow all the athletic, testosterone-laden men and women to find the "Jocks" category, and for all of the moody, black-garbed people to congregate into the "Scary Goths" category.

Eventually, when the Americans will have divided themselves into little groups, all that will remain to be done is to label them for future reference and further stereotyping. This would be relatively easy until when the time comes to differentiate the intelligent people, to separate "Nerds" from "Geeks."

Nerds and geeks are often thrown into one all-encompassing category, when there are actually a myriad of differences. All geeks are nerds, but not all nerds are geeks. This distinction, classifying a geek as a branch of nerd, is essential to the study of these subhuman life forms.

The qualities that all nerds, and therefore geeks, have are, in no particular order:

  • Seemingly above average intelligence
  • A love for computers and other technology
  • A lousy sense of humor
  • The inability to successfully pursue members of the opposite sex.The feature that distinguishes nerds and geeks fastest and most accurately is personality.


Put simply, a nerd is an extroverted geek, and a geek is an introverted nerd.

By referring to the similarities stated earlier, it is far easier to understand this distinction. A nerd will not hesitate to make it known to all others in the vicinity, be it school, home, a gathering of friends or an exorcism, that he is omnipotent. Nerds will always be the smartest people around, even if they actually don’t know anything. A chief defining feature of nerds is the common belief that they possess infinite knowledge. Many times, this will lead to a nerd “creating knowledge” when faced with an unexpected question. This creation of knowledge may or may not be accurate, but the nerd will never admit to being wrong.



A geek’s intelligence, on the other hand, may not even exist. While the defining feature of all nerds is "seemingly above average intelligence," a geek may not actually be any smarter than those around him. Often times, a geek receives much of his perceived intelligence by being around nerds, mere affiliation with the actually intelligent will provide enough of a basis for the geek to gain a reputation of intelligence. This perceived knowledge geeks possess is a major boon.

If someone is unfortunate enough to not be a geek and is quiet in class, he or she may be mocked; teachers and students blame the quietness on a lack of knowledge. However, if a geek is quiet in class, teachers and other students see it as humbleness, and they marvel at the geek’s self control. The quiet person may be actively thinking about the class and know the correct answer, but will receive ridicule. The geek may be thinking about the flavor of balsa wood and will receive praise.

Gogus olculeri

Other than the intellect differences, the careful study of the appearances of geeks and nerds reveals much dissimilarity. The way nerds dress and present themselves is often not remarkable in any way. Their clothing will tend to reflect whatever current fads are, and will cause nerds to blend into a crowd. Geeks, however, must abide by strict rules that exist nowhere but within their own heads.

No two geeks abide by the same clothing rules, but from geek to geek, there is often very little difference in attire. First and foremost is the geek pledge to at least wear one piece of purely synthetic clothing every day. For most geeks, this means that blue jeans become replaced with all kinds of polyester and acrylic pants. However, should a geek choose to increase his dosage of artificial clothes to two or more pieces each day, his status within the geek community will skyrocket.

Fortunately for geeks around the world, glass and metal are not considered “natural,” so the poor eyesight epidemic that is prevalent among geeks becomes a vessel for yet another fashion statement, the glasses. Nerds may or may not have bad eyesight, and if they do need glasses, are apt to choose glasses with a brand name, such as Prada or Ray Ban’s. By contrast, geeks revel in this disability. If any geek needs to wear glasses, he will choose the most lurid pair he can lay his fingers on. A nerd selects glasses to be fashionable and to blend in; geeks choose glasses in such a way that it will not be possible to stop looking at them.

Geeks appreciate their glasses like a deer appreciates its antlers. Both antlers and glasses exist for occasional, physical use, but, most of the time, the larger and more striking the headgear is, the higher the geek or deer’s status within the herd. It would be a crime for any geek to look at another and not silently be amazed at his glasses.
"There is a very definite reason why many male nerds and geeks remain single: fear."
While personalities and appearances separate nerds and geeks, the most important common bond between the two is the helplessness that each experiences when trying to pursue members of the opposite gender. There is a very definite reason why many male nerds and geeks remain single: fear. Over centuries of evolution, the gene containing an innate fear of all things female has been handed down between nerds and geeks like a priceless heirloom. No one really wants it, but it is impossible to get rid of.

Should any nerd take a fancy to any particular girl, his demeanor will change entirely. Both nerds and geeks are usually pretty easy-going. They feel the same stresses that “normal” people do, they are able to constantly balance work and play, and, for the most part, never become too worked up over any one given issue. When a nerd becomes love struck, he switches and becomes absolutely obsessed with the object of his desire.

"An innate fear of all things female has been handed down between nerds and geeks like a priceless heirloom. "
In the case of a male nerd or geek, he will usually become addicted to one female who is so far out of his reach that she usually doesn’t even know he exists. She may not even be biologically able to see the nerd, and will only experience a queasy feeling in her stomach when looking directly at the nerd (caused by an influx of sweat from the nerd). Anytime this female is mentioned, the geek will latch like a hagfish onto every word said about her. The male will spend his nights, curled up in his crusty bedroom, stroking the yearbook picture of the desired female, his eyes memorizing every pixel.

The nerd will continue to be obsessed, stalking the footsteps of the overly attractive female, and lurking along the paths that she takes throughout the day to various classes and activities. While fortunately this activity does not lead to criminal charges, it usually leads to a confrontation between the female and nerd, thus ending both the stalking and lusting.

The distinction between nerds and their subset, geeks, may be trivial knowledge in most circumstances. However, if the American race keeps dividing itself within our own society, it is important to distinguish between nerds and geeks. For, what is the only way one can achieve a sense of individualism if humanity is destined to sort culture? We must divide and subdivide until a single identity is reached.

Therefore, knowing and accepting the differences between people will allow an individual’s identity to develop. Besides, if you believe that your footsteps are being traced and you constantly smell rancid graham crackers, it is a good idea to understand exactly what it is you are facing.
An Analysis of Geeks and Nerds
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