What I Love About Nerdy Men

There are different sorts of men that appeal to me.

One of the types, I will focus on are those that appear nerdy.

Don't worry, I haven't gone crazy (just yet), I am in no way speaking about the Steve Urcle (Family Matters actor) or Screech (Saved by the bell actor) over-exaggerated kind of nerd; that makes you want to pull your hairs out and run in into ongoing traffic.

Well, maybe that was a bit of an extreme reaction......

I am speaking about the types of men that are visually attractive but appear as if their main focus is in the books and career. These types of guys usually are into video games and often times don't mind relaxing at home. They take it easy and do very predictable things. They aren't into the club or bar scene, they hardly ever drink. When they do, it is done in a responsible and calculated manner.

I know...I know...you're probably wondering what could possibly be so interesting about a man who doesn't live on the wild side? Since, I've got a lot of that already in me, I like someone who can be my opposite half. I find that creates balance in a relationship, it's the many differences between us that makes us whole.

You will not believe when I tell you that in some cases these nerds are...

1. Undercover freaks

Don't let his intelligence and hesitation to try something new, make you assume he's a complete bore in the bed room. This nerdy guy has done all of his homework. Besides his prior experience(s) before you, he has researched the deed so much that he is able to rock your world. Who knew someone with such a persona could make your eyes roll back and pussy orgasm the way he made it? Trey Songz had it right, when he said the neighbors know his name, because this surely is the case in this situation.

2. Ambitious

There's nothing more sexier than a man that wants to go far in life. This guy will make a great father (if he isn't one already). He has one heck of a drive to do well and is never detoured due to outside influences.

3. Mature

He might have his moments where he may act like a kid, but when it comes down to tough situations you'll never catch him doing anything irresponsible.

Some people have to make mistakes in order to learn from them, but not him. Even just the thought of the possible precautions for his actions ,is enough to stray him away from any temptation lingering his way. This man has his own mind and is not easily influenced.

Who knew not being a risk taker could come in handy?

4. He walks away from fights

I know a lot of us women like the big and tough men, that can kick a guys ass if he messes with us. But, the wanting to fight every one gets old after a while because it is an impossible task.

As you mature mentally, people that have a grip on situations are the types that may appeal to you more.

Yes, this man sticks up for himself but things don't ever reach a physical level. He knows how to intelligently dismiss and insult someone without things ever escalating to that degree.

5. Loyal

I've heard so many women say, "Men are dogs". They believe that stereotype because unfortunately their life experiences have showed them no differently. This guy is a lone wolf, and as I said before he follows no pack. When he says you're his girl, he means it and stays true to you. The question is, will you do the same to him? or take his kindness for granted?

So, there you have it...

I can appreciate the many different types of men, especially the most often overlooked!

Stacyzee is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Nerds are the best ❤️ Especially when they love Pokemon and video games like me. That's why I love my boyfriend.


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 53

  • I like your MyTake because I'm pretty much the type of guy you've described here :-). There's only one real difference: I'm not very much into video games. By that I mean, I'm not a Geek. I'm not interested in Star Trek or hacking computers or things like that. I'm just nerdy in the sense that I really love academics and studying/learning new things etc. Contrary to most people, I've always enjoyed school. I watch lots of documentaries and I read non-fiction books and sometimes, when I feel playful, I go up to my girlfriend and say in this smartass-like voice "Did youuu knowww that?" ;-).
    But in everything else, you've pretty much described me. I especially liked the part about walking away from fights. That's SO true for me. In fact, I was also forced to do this my whole life. The reason for this is that I have been born almost blind. Hence, I wouldn't have a chance in a physical fight with another guy. But that's totally okay because throughout my childhood and teenage years, I've acquired skills to de-escalate situations or defend myself in non-physical ways. I don't really care if some guys think I'm a weakling because I know it's not true. Being smart in a tense situation sometimes takes much more strength than just randomly starting to punch and kick another person.
    I also liked your paragraph about loyalty. Now, fortunately, I've found a girl who is just as nerdy and loyal as I am myself. So I'm not personally affected by women who can't appreciate loyalty. However, i still think it's sad they exist. To be quite honest, I've always felt that most young women are pretty dumb when it comes to dating. I know several girls who've dated complete jerks just because "oh he's so tough and masculine and bla blah blah" only to break up 1-2 years later and come crying that "men are all pigs and assholes, I hate them!" And the worst part: only 3 months later, they would hook up with the next macho idiot. One of my female friends who is already 32 once told me "it took me until my 30th birthday to realize that dating jerks doesn't make any sense". I was stunned. I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't want to be mean to her but I just thought to myself: "Really? It took you 30 years to get that? How come I was already able to distinguish the jerks from the nice guys in high school? I mean... are you really THAT stupid?"
    I find it great that there are girls like you out there who can appreciate the subtle advantages of dating a nerdy but good-hearted guy.

  • Okay, in a perfect world, this would all be true about most nerdy guys.

    Sadly, however, it's not. Unfortunately, from what women have told me over the years about their dealings with nerdy guys, they're almost never "undercover freaks" (generally being timid and insecure), they're often shockingly IMmature (typically due to a simple lack of social development), and... well, there's a big difference between walking away from a fight and running away from one. ;)

    I think all nerdy guys wish they were exactly what you described, though. :)

    • I was careful to stay clear of generalization and say "some" when introducing what I love about nerds. The ones I've been involved with were exactly like what I described.
      There's never a true for all coat however.
      Of course some nerds won't fit this description :)

  • Although I actually got/get great grades in school, play (ed) video games, didn't/don't drink, wasn't/am not into the big party scene, and was/is often very focused on my hobbies (art and music), I've never really been called a nerd. I always thought it was a good thing, but according to this take, maybe not lol

    That aside, on one hand, my pride wants to take hold of the descriptions you gave and say "YEP, that's me 100%," but alas, I feel like doing so would be for naught. There are aspects of this I can rightly claim (i. e. Video games, lack of drinking, lack of partying), but I feel the rest are for others to decide of me.

    I would describe this mytake as describing a version of an ideal man. Naturally everyone qualified under the first description (doesn't drink, plays video games, etc.) going to want to be the ideal lol. I mean, who is going to think of themselves as unambitious, unloyal, and immature? Of course I and others are going to think they are ambitious, loyal, and mature. Those are positive traits.

    But the harsh reality is that one may be less ambitious than they think, less loyal than they think, and less mature than they think. Heck they may be accurate in their description, but there is so much self bias that self description makes it without merit. An ideal, by definition, cannot be shared by the majority.
    (Note this above was all more so a reaction to the comments)

    But what else am I getting at? I do believe there are some nerdy guys out there in the way you describe it. I do believe there also Steve Urcle types. However, the majority of people who don't really drink or party or whatnot fall in the middle of the spectrum... An average of em if you will. The ideal you describe does not apply to the majority of "nerdy" men but rather a very very small minority.

    Not necessarily a pipe dream-- but not exactly practical for the average "nerd" or one described as "nerdy."

  • Good take - Yeah I agree there is a quiet group of men out there like this who are a good catch for those that like them - As in an awful lot of things on GaG, to each their own - There are so many types out there male and female, I suppose that is what makes the world a wonderful and diverse place.

  • When I got the notification of this Take, I got excited for a minute. Unfortunately you disappointed me this time, @Stacyzee. There is also an entire nerd-girl lust on the guys side too, which roughly translates into "normal, conventional hot girl with glasses."

    Even the personality traits you mentioned aren't really nerdy. You seem to suggest that non-nerdy men are stupid, immoral boors.

    Nerds are very much a physical type that doesn't match the ideal in your photo.

    #disappointment :(


    • You're acting as if all nerds fit into one box.
      I've met nerds that match what I have described.
      What you want is the stereotype of a nerd and unfortunately there's always exceptions to those stigmas. Nerds aren't always ugly and unfit.
      People think it's impossible for a nerd to be even remotely attractive.

    • Show All
    • I am thinking about it and in some ways you might be right. A nerd might be hot and not fit a an unattractive physical type. Like my girlfriend Felicia Day here. *swoon*


    • To me, it's mostly about the face which is why I dated a chubby man for over 10 years. You see, as a slim toned woman, naturally I like men that take care of their bodies as well. But as long as I am attracted to the guy in some way I don't mind him having a little extra weight. The "out type" is someone that is typically 20s-30s and loves to party, club, and drink. The nerds I speak to will go out but it's in environments that are calm and relaxing. They don't like being in that atmosphere. The funny thing is, people are their own worse critics I can't tell you how many people I find attractive that don't see it in themselves, and because they lack approach or game they don't get any women.

  • Too bad most women don't agree with this, at all, I mean not even a little bid. Damn shame as its spot on!

  • You can be nerdy AND attractive? That's impossible. The universe wasn't made to withstand a guy having both qualities lol
    Jokes aside, I feel that today's world is going in a different direction concerning nerds and geeky guys. We're learning that it's socially acceptable to be a Nerd or a geek and that gyms and a healthy diet exist. So what's happening is that we now have a breed of nerdy men who's physically fit and takes care of their bodies. All of the sudden nerds aren't so bad to look at. And they know a lot if stuff and everything mentioned above.

    There is also a big difference between nerdy geeky men and those who foresake their social life, health, finance, and responsibilities for the sole purpose of playing video games. Those men are too hard core. I used to be one and looking back I was disgusted with myself on how I could give up everything to play video games. I realized that video games are just a tool for people to fantasize about being someone they're not. To live in a world that they fully control. The powerful and unique characters you play in games are what I wanted to become but DONT. I instead dream and wish. Not actually going out in the world and become that character.

    The world is changing and Iam not shaming anyone who plays video games. I am saying there's a difference. That attractive nerdy guy up there doesn't look like someone who's given up his life for video games and comics. He's balanced. He does nerdy stuff and is a nerd, but he also consistently interacts in the world and looks after his body.

    • Yes, you can be both. I happen to know a nerdy guy who fits both images. He's studying to be a nurse (and because of his field and knowledge) takes good care of his body and works out. Most times he is playing video games and studying.
      On the contrary,
      I know another nerd who is like the guy I described but very overweight.
      All nerds don't fit under one check box.

    • **I meant studying to become a Doctor

  • I really loved reading your mytake =)
    You got me when you described this

    "This guy is a lone wolf, and as I said before he follows no pack. When he says you're his girl, he means it and stays true to you."
    That's exactly what I think every night when fantasizing having the girl of my dreams :D

  • That's me except #4.

  • That's me! 😊
    If someone calls me a nerd, I will take it as a compliment. lol 😉
    And as for how far I want to go in life, I don't just have a dream job, but a fantasy job! (Fantacy as in it will probably never happen, but is slightly possible.)

    I sooo want my girl to be this kind of nerd, too! 😘💕

  • Not sure if fighting over a comic book is mature but hey, each of us nerds have kryptonite lol, i myself am more of a nerd/dork/adventurer like a nerd jock but not into sports unless its soccer, lacross or rugby, love finding adventures but being in a city is hard to find one

  • Great my take. The funny thing is you basically described me. I hope you find that special someone who will help make all your dreams come true.

  • Lol you almost described me!
    I like chilling in my house...
    I am not the club going guy
    I love video games
    I don't drink but occasionally smoke weed
    Points 1,2,3,5 do seem like me... not very sure about 4 though

    :-) ;-)

  • hmm, I'm not so sure how much of this is true versus wishful thinking...

    • I'm only speaking on behalf of nerds I've encountered , so this is true according to my experience.

    • Show All
    • I know , but like I said I'm just speaking on experience. I had a nerdy guy ( was with him for ten years ) read a lot about sex watched a lot of lesbian porn, although I was only his second girl he gave me the best oral sex I could ever imagine. I had another nerdy guy and he went for hours during sex , didn't expect it because he was a huge book worm.
      I'm not speaking full of air , this is actually my solid experience I am giving.

    • "this is actually my solid experience I am giving."

      Fair dos.

  • This is basically me other the fight thing i do someone want punch the shit outta someone if they really annoy me. Plus i know that im very open minded in bed and i know in my gut im better in bed than most guys I've come across

  • I wish people viewed me this way this basically describes me perfectly. Plus I've never had a girlfriend so yeah perfectly :-)

  • So you want to date the male lead from a Rom-Com?

    Sorry, but nerd means socially awkward, it means of course tonight's Battlestar Galactica rerun takes priority over what that sl*t Kate said at work today, it means that the little romantic gestures are superfluous and illogical, now let me get back to this essay on Cato or line of code or what have you, it means that not wanting to be social ain't just a bitty inhibition or a sometimes thing, it's default. Is this the case for every nerd or all the time? Of course not, but I'm sick of getting pigeon holed as some submissive fairytale metrosexual trophy partner because I like English History and Warhammer A LOT and couldn't get a date in high school. Yes, I'm a nerd, yes I have plans for my life, but I quite like people, I have punched jerks, and I'm sure as Hell not a covert pervert. Was this supposed to be a cute article? Yes, and it was, but someone's been hitting the movies hard.

  • You need to go to a video game tournament, anime convention, or uni mathematics department. I've been in all three, and I can tell you firsthand that everyone in those places is smelly, socially retarded, inept at grooming, dresses horribly, and is out of shape.

    What you want is a Hallmark movie hunk with glasses. They exist, but none of the "nerdy" traits apply to them. They're the same as any other douche, just with impaired or faux-impaired eyesight.

    "But there's guys with those interests that are HOT and ---". No. Shhh. If they even exist, they're most likely already taken. I've been around nerds for most of my life, unfortunately, and this romanticized perception of them from both genders is really fucking stupid and unrealistic.

    • I'm speaking about nerds I've met in College. You can't stereotype and group everyone in one basket.
      This is the same as people thinking blacks and Hispanics fit under a certain personality trait due to their race.

    • And of course , look wise or clothing style due to nothing other than their ethnicity.
      These traits are true according to my exposure not what I sat and fantasized about.

    • As I said, douchebag with glasses =/= nerd.

  • There are much better topic out there ex - 'Anal Bleaching'.. But you pulled this topic pretty good..

    • Anal bleaching doesn't intrigue me at all perhaps you should write about it if it fascinates you.

    • 😂 nope,.. I have no idea what it is

  • As a nerd I can confirm this. Especially #1 ;)

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 6

  • This take is spot on! Nerds are awesome and charismatic but most do not realize this. They can also be great leaders for something they're passionate about.

    I have held the most profound conversations with nerdy guys in general. I find them to be really interesting 😊

  • 100% agree and is why I'm with one. ^^ He's also doesn't look like the physical stereotype of a nerd, aka nicely toned body and hot/cute face. ^^

  • Nerdy guys have way more of a chance with girls than they realize. What gets in the way is themselves and their low self-esteem. Most nerdy guys are self-defeating, and they don't even give themselves a chance to get the girl they want. I'm very attracted to intelligent guys (though I can't stand know-it-alls) and think that some nerdy guys are incredibly funny.

  • Glasses are sexy and so are guitar players

  • Can't relate, but to each their own. Glad those guys are getting some lurve

    • So what don't you like about nerds?

    • @Toad-1 I don't vibe with them as a potential romantic partner. I'm not their type, they're not mine. We just operate within different circles, and in different ways. My intellectual and social lives are separate, and I follow (and sometimes create) social norms within my peer group. I am what some would call an "alpha female." I appreciate nerds as friends and people to learn from, though. They're very special. Dating one would get on my nerves after a while, as I've found that many have no appreciation for certain forms of convention and discretion.

  • Majority of guys I dated (like 3) are Nerds. 😍