Here's What I Like About Men

[AmandaYVR]

I get these random thoughts in my head. Today I was eating dinner - I made Italian sausages, roasted brussel sprouts, and some new-fangled tomato-stuffed gnocchi, and two out of those three things were new, so maybe it jarred something loose in my brain. I don't know. And I was reading something on GAG and it got me thinking. I get these thoughts randomly and spontaneously, and think, well maybe I should write about that. So here another one...

I like that men have a way of summarizing things (stories, details, complex situations) in so few words, and in an overall typically concise, succinct manner, when generally compared to women. I often don't know how you do it. Okay, sometimes you leave out waaay too many details for my taste, and sometimes it's so abbreviated I have no idea what you're talking about, but mostly, I give you credit for your ability to get right to the point, the nitty gritty, cut to the chase, hit the nail on the head... oh wait, I'm doing it again. How does one choose the words and just end there. I don't know but you do. Maybe you're more decisive. But good on you. Your shortened paragraphs here, and in life, are often appreciated.

I like that you are problem solvers. Yes, at times it is annoying that you seem to only want to solve problems, and not listen and/or just sympathize, but I understand and respect you for your problem-solving abilities and tendencies, and not wanting us to dwell on the ridiculous intricacies and minutia of life, and quoting who said this and that, and what happened next. It's too much. You get shit done, quite often. Or at least, you want to. Goal - plan - execution - done. Very good.

I like that you don't (often) hold grudges as long or as deep as many females, from what I have observed (and yes, maybe felt myself, particularly in my younger days.) I'm not really sure how you do it, but there is the classic example of getting into a physical altercation/fist fight, and then somehow y'all decide, 'What's done is done, we move on now.' Interesting. And very commendable.

I like your ability to compartmentalize. Sometimes it makes it feel like you treat things as so distinct and separate from one another when they shouldn't be (maybe), but you guys seem to have more laser focus on the task at hand, or a problem to solve, or a piece of equipment that's acting up. I can't say for sure that you can emotionally compartmentalize all past negative experiences, etc. (you definitely don't get over feeling wronged by an ex any easier than women/girls do), but I've seen the brain scans where when recalling past events, less areas of men's brains light up, but the areas that do light up have more magnetic 'heat' on the MRIs, and I have found this to be true as well. You don't pull every sight, sound, smell, song, and especially memory from the past and dump it all into one pile, and look for all the connections and interplay. Forgive and forget are good words to live by. It is said men are more "singularly-focused" and I agree. (Plus, I get to listen to music or watch TV and my husband can better drown it out than I ever can. I take everything in. All the time. Whether I like it or not.)

I like that you are strong and can lift things that are difficult for me. I will try, yes, and I have shoved more sofas and chairs and got them in and out of more doorways than you can count, but I have also dropped boxes full of fragile stuff and wrecked my back trying to lift up the rabbit cage, and found out that there is a definite physical cost to owning higher quality heavier furniture, and just about everything else I like (I sort of have a philosphical rule about no plastics in my life.) And I tend to shop for a week's worth of food at a time cause I hate going to the grocery store. Yesterday I carried 24 lbs home and I hated every bit of it. So thank you thank you thank you for every time that you offer "I'll grab that" out of my/our hands. Bless you. My hands were hurting.

Thanks for being into me/us, initiating contact, initiating sex. You guys got the raw end of the deal on that one. Call it biology or what have you, but you end up putting yourself out there more than the other way around. Although as I've said before in mytakes, etc., I am a firm, firm believer that women need to step up much more than they are, and show (and tell) their guys when they want something. Cause we do, quite often, want you too. You're sexy, and sweet, and I like your beard stubble and when your hair's mussed up in the morning, with your boxer briefs and mug of hot coffee. I compliment you quite often, and I think other girls should too. I think you should hear that we appreciate you.

And my final thought (cause as my gift to you, I won't make this too too long) is thanks for all your interesting contributions on GAG. You answer more, contribute more, write more, and many days here I can honestly say that you write something that makes me smile, or makes me think. And when I say "Awww, that's so sweet" or beautiful, I really mean it. It's not pity or insincerity, it's genuine appreciation for who you are and what you share. So thank you men. You rock. (And speaking of... no, you don't have to be an emotional rock. I like you just the way you are, emotions and all.)

Good night 🌙

[Guardian45]

Amanda, I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you have single-handedly restored a lot of men's confidence in the fairer sex!

Men have become so accustomed to societal beatdowns on a regular basis, that the silent majority of good guys began to question their beliefs.

You help us to remember that most of us are chivalrous, do care about and love the women in our lives., despite the few famous a-holes who give men a bad name!

Thank you Amanda! Bravo!

[Godofbliss]

It's very rare for a girl to realise this, even rarer for her to admit it, and the rarest is for her to accept and be thankful for it. Your husband is a truly lucky man. I really hope this gets around and women love to acknowledge, if not love, this point of view.

[Lliam]

Awwww, Amanda. That was so sweet. We men love being appreciated. Sometimes, because of our "stiff upper lip" mentality, we don't openly acknowledge it as much as women do because we think we have to be strong. But we need it as much as women do.
It's common knowledge that women like to be complimented. They worry a lot about being appreciated. They like being treated like they are special. Men like to feel that way, too. They love it when their woman wants to look her best for them. They feel ten feet tall when their woman slips her hand around his arm when they walk together, as if she thinks he is her knight in shining armor and is proud to be seen with him. They feel manly when asked to open a jar, fix something, lift something, or reach something down from a high shelf. They melt when their woman smiles brightly or looks up searchingly into their eyes. These are all unspoken compliments. But spoken compliments are equally desirable.

Thank you to those women who make us feel appreciated. It make us love them even more.

[Obtuse]

I actually lack the ability to compartmentalize and laser focus and summarize and omit details. I see everything as interconnected. It gives me an edge in my field since I can pull from disparate fields and ideas to create very out-of-the-box solutions that are simpler than the rest. But it has huge disadvantages in trying to explain why it works for people since I get tempted to write a 600-page paper (and actually after so many repeated edits to make it as short as possible) on everything ranging from data mining theory to practical applications of software like Photoshop to the psychology of our users to the origins of scanline rasterization and a simplistic view of the computer hardware memory hierarchy to quick and dirty assembly coding techniques from the 80s to dynamic branch prediction and how workflow speed should not be measured in a mechanical way like mouse clicks and keystrokes but how much thought is required to perform an action and so on to proper profiler graph analysis to how associating indirections with inefficiencies is oversimplistic and dogmatic if temporal locality is not accounted for and so forth.

I envy the guys who can do this as well. Communicating nontrivial ideas is a major difficulty for me since I can't tell what details and connections are irrelevant. I think I'm more like girls in my way of thinking here. I envy the guys too here! :-D Go guys!

[TwistedMindz]

I just read the first line of each paragraph (and the rest after)
You can summarize too! You just go into more detail, thats all. You make things really clear for someone and when you're presented with a summary of something, sometimes there can be a disconnect because you're used to things being explained in detail?
I thank you for noticing this, because many fail to notice. :)

[AmandaYVR]

Thanks.
What did this part mean? "... sometimes there can be a disconnect because you're used to things being explained in detail?"

[TwistedMindz]

Well i assumed you're used having things explained in detail, like you do yourself. So sometimes when someone summarizes something, it could confuse you? Disconnect in doesn't mean something tech related in this case haha :p

[AmandaYVR]

i'm not used to having things explained in detail. Kind of an odd thing to say. Because the people talking are usually the ones who decide how much detail to say, and of course that varies across the board based on personality, and gender.
As I said above, guys really don't have the interest or inclination or patience to talk in detail about some things, esp relaying conversations to the degree that most/many girls do. They find that often more tedious and girls find that often more interesting/pertinent.
But most (though not all) of the time I like details in order to make informed decisions or conclusions. And in this case, I didn't want to just say "guys are great" because that carries no meaning or weight, in my opinion, the way that explaining why does. And I say this all the time with comments on gag. If someone likes something, one word answer - basically who cares? But a follow-up second sentence or two, suddenly makes it a more rich and full answer.

[Passinggas]

While I know you put your best into this, given the continuous man-hate saturation bombing of this society and calluses acquired thereof, this while well written comes across as pandering. I guess any attempt is better than nothing is. There is a long road ahead to hoe to undo the severe damage of the past fifty years. This is no reflection on you but only my perception of it all.

[AmandaYVR]

Read what I just wrote to anonymous male 25-29. Tell me if you still feel that way. He has a different opinion than you. He thinks there were backhanded compliments in there too, which I don't agree, but I did write as the thoughts were in my head, partly because I specifically did not want it to be seen as pandering, but as honest and realistic.

[Passinggas]

“As I've gotten older I don't tend to look at men as so foreign or in opposition” (your reply to him below) this sums it up really, because while I do accept what you are saying and I am not criticizing but at one point in your life, per quote, you did see men as foreign and the opposition. It took maturity for you to come out of your natural gender bias and discover a third person view, from a perch if you will, out of body. However, while you were in it ankle deep in hormones you could have been a man-hating terror to deal with as far as I know. Unfortunately, the majority are indoctrinated full of hate and the sad part is most accept it so easily and naturally. This truly makes me ponder the human condition and why something that evolved to be a natural complementary form of survival has been destroyed, by social engineering, and so easily. Therefore, while I see so many men on here complimentary of your take, I am fully aware of the process that generated it as if you have transitioned through metamorphosis so now you have wings and are above it.

[AmandaYVR]

You know, you make a valid point there. And you said is quite eloquently. It is true to some extent. And not in others. Here's how:

You'll probably say I'm saying this now in response after the fact, so it doesn't count, but I disagree. Besides, no writing is perfect and one can always find things that could have been said better.
When I am on gag I see patterns, notice trends, look at usernames all the time, see numbers and statistics. It's probably the way I am built. This is just as interestig, if not more, than the comments individually themselves. And I compare this to what I hear and read about in the world, and to my experience and past. Things have changed, are changing. In many ways it doesn't matter to me because I'm beyond dating and in my life married. However I guess it find it interesting from a societal and anthropological perspective. So the word "opposition" is in my head frequently. Things are so contentious on gag. I very rarely get into fights for the sake of it, and I am definitely not a troll, but I will occasionally argue passionately for what I believe in or what I see happening, or that could be better. People can care or be interested or not, whatever. So there are some aspects of dating, and relationships, that endure, will never change, but others that may be a sea change. Sea changes are interesting. And having knowledge in hindsight is of course helpful. But at the same time as I recognize I now benefit from age and hindsight, etc. that I did not have before, it is also true that you cannot dismiss all that I am, or think, as being a result of age. So here's what I see...

[AmandaYVR]

I did not understand men when I first started dating. Their bodies were foreign, as well as their minds and motivations. But I was very drawn to them. Especially finding the mature ones who started really getting their shit together after high school. I dated older almost all my life. I think it was because of my past and emotional maturity level. The physical attraction part was easy. I am blonde and blue eyed and all that. I liked them, they liked me, and it was not so difficult to find each other and start something. But the main thing is people are subtle, their keep their feelings, and motivations, and plans under the surface, not revealed (both guys and girls equally), so I was always wondering what they wanted. I did not come from a white picket fence family who was conversative or traditional. Far from it. But they are cerebral and intellectual, talkers. I was a very shy kid but had a mind of my own, and a lot of thoughts. I observed everything. It took a fair bit for me to speak up. As I grew up, throughout my life, I became more and more secure in those conclusions I was making, and here I am today with I would say probably a lot of conviction. Because I worked at it. I listened a lot. I didn't yammer on all the time acting like I knew everything. And I've been through a whole bunch of shit, and it nearly broke me, and I have been down a very intense years of self-reflection. No one else had answers. I had to find them myself. My whole life I have had very deep, intense conversations with all sorts of people (not just romantic, but platonic guy friends, roommates, etc.) People like tellling me things. So maybe that helped me to garner all this knowledge about people and relationships.

[AmandaYVR]

Plus, a whole bunch of stuff in my family which I won't go into. You cannot summarize this easily. I have a complex past and am not a typical person. And I think that's pretty self-evident from what I write on gag. I'm an outlier here in many ways. And damn it, I just cannot summarize complex topics! So sorry again.

So to address what you said - I had to go through the same learning process as everyone does, in my 20s. Yes, I know a tonne more now about men, dating, relationships. But.
I was never a bitch to anyone (except during a fight.) I never used anyone. I was never after their money. I never did one night stands. And I always wanted relationships as part of my life. If I liked the guy, I didn't play games, I called them, I initiated maybe half the time. I never lied, cheated, or stole. The only pattern that kept happening repeatedly was me wanting more, and them often holding back, wanting less. Why? Because I fell for travellers who left the province/country (multiple times this happened.) Because they fell back with exes (this happened twice.) Because they were older and felt guilty about being with someone much younger (multiple times.) Because one of them went into witness protection.

[AmandaYVR]

Because I wasn't the right race for one of them. Because I wasn't religious. These are typical reasons. But at the time, each and every one of them was really upsetting to me. They rocked my world. I fell in love with several and it always upset me. But none of these are about character or manipulating or playing games. I understand it all now, and everything is understood within a larger context. And sometimes I write about this, here and there, on gag, to try and remind people to keep it all in stride. Don't panic, it's not the end of the world, and just be nice to each other. I don't harbour any resentment towards these guys now. I understand now. But I wasn't badmouthing them then either. I was just often heartbroken, wondering what just happened. And sometimes I was the one breaking up, wanting to move on. It doesn't matter. We are on the same team, not in opposition, though not always understanding each other.

You probably won't read this down to the bottom, and that's ok. (I don't know if you remember but I blocked you months ago, not long after joining, and I have gone through an evolution here as well, where I eventually decided this was the wrong approach, and I unblocked everyone months ago and now face everyone, head on, and try to be more open and sometimes resolve these differences of opinion. If the other person is willing, which I find many actually are. So here we are having this exchange, which I think is great. It's important to me. I believe in pushing onself to think harder, be better. We don't have to all just act like animals, feeding into our feelings and baser instincts.) So I felt like answering your comment. It is both true, and not true. I see greys everywhere. My rigid morality and black and white thinking is long gone. Want to call that on account of age too? Maybe. But maybe it's also my personality, who I am and have always been.

[Passinggas]

“You probably won't read this down to the bottom” yes I did, my workload is low in quarantine. “if you remember but I blocked you months ago” kind of but have it be known I write to be shot down and look for a reaction to get the conversations going. The ones that bite, I believe are the ones of strong mind on here. I have read your entire reply and I will say I found it to be actually more impressive than the take. Since I am good at summarizing, per your take, I will say accepted at every word, you are probably one of those that are of the 0.1% s that are a rare find. I found the non-conventional life struggles as implied/stated here very relatable and so given all that, you are credible in your take in my book.

[AmandaYVR]

Thank you so much. I am very happy. This feels like many things are coming together, my recent efforts being realized once again, solidifying. No, I think I will use my mercury analogy. I have decided that life (or two people) is like mercury - fluid, adpatable, malleable, not constant or fixed. (I accidentally broke a glass thermometer on the bathroom tile counter when I was a kid and have never forgotten this fascination with it.)

You are a good writer. I did not see this earlier, months back. But then again, I am often told that I bring something out of people, this deeper aspect. And you have explained yourself well, with regard to trying to incite a reaction. I am teaching myself how to better deal with conflict (wrote a mytake about that, not popular with the girls, of course.) This was well worth the time and energy, this exchange. Thank you. (And I can relate this to what I said up top re: men not harbouring grudges as much - many men will find it in them to restart or reply in communication, since I have unblocked. Girls do not.)

The next thing I am pondering is if I am too unique and that much of an outlier to be able to relate to the majority of girls nowadays. I am often told by people who understand me well that I am different. Are my standards for others too high? (Rhetorical.)

[Unit1]

Yay Ms. Amanda! This is also why i always love women 🤗
thanks for sharing. It's a real breeze from seeing all that men bashing like it's a sport.
we men love receiving compliments from the ladies too! And if a man doesn't? Then too bad for him 😆

thank you for this! ❤

[AmandaYVR]

You're most welcome 🙏

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Man, this is actually really nice.

For me, it really brings to mind that it’s so hard to pry affection like this from women. Where it does occur, it’s often qualified by negativity eg “little boys” blah blah “real men” blah blah “fuck boys” etc.

But I appreciate the absence of that here. Thanks.

[AmandaYVR]

You're welcome. I meant every word of it.

[Meropatrick]

I agree with all the above except for the grudge thing. I mean girls hold grudges for petty things that is for sure. And they perceive weird things to be an insult. And their rage about it is irrational. but guys do hold grudges. Especially if we get maimed badly. Dont expect to walk all over a guy and then next day he will be just ok. Guys who get in physical altercation and get injured can be quite bitter about it. Its a known facts in some countries that guys who get rejected by women get so bitter to the extent of throwing acid at the woman who rejected him.
although definitely i would prefer for a guy to hold a grudge against me and not a girl. Because at least a guy will be mad at me for a reasonable reason

[AmandaYVR]

Sure, agreed.
I've seen evidence of guys getting over small (i. e. petty) things quicker/easier.
My theory is that because they are not as emotionally upset by minor conflicts, and their brains are more compartmentalized to not attach emotion and meaning to so many things, they don't feel as triggered by memories, the five senses. Some also even relish conflict (debating/arguing for the fun of it) so it's not such a big deal to be around people they've had a conflict with. And females tend to prioritize social harmony more than individuality and independence.
These are broad stroke generalizations, I know. But I speak in majorities, not minorities.
As far as major events, feeling wronged, betrayed... I would characterize these as no different than females. Everyone's very affected.
And p. s. females rarely go out and commit acts of violence or seek this type physical of revenge. Men have the almost-monopoly on that.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

"I like that men have a way of summarizing things"

The irony of this is that I skipped the first paragraph coz my man brain was like "these personal details are irrelevant to the logical points of discussion!" 😂

[AmandaYVR]

Lolol. That IS ironic! (And I thought about that as I was writing.)

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Haha you think while you type-- if you were a novelist they'd say you're a "pantser" 😄

[AmandaYVR]

Oh interesting. Never heard that before, just looked it up. Yep that's definitely me.
You can imagine how long my email letters used to be. Editing is excruciating/tedious. Fuss fuss.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Yeah but your long letters must still make for an intriguing read 😁 you're a deep thinker

[AmandaYVR]

Thaaanks. Yes, people love to receive them. They set aside the right time, get all comfy in their chair to read them. But many are too overwhelmed to respond in kind. But I've had family members who wonder why I don't write anymore, as even I find them a bit much. I have to really focus, and I don't like talking about myself in a one way convo much. I already know my own thoughts and am bored of them much of the time.

[BlessedDaddy]

So: We get right to the point which is the point. We don't need to hear 95% of what you say and we know what to do. We would rather beat each other up then stay mad. And we compartmentalize so we'll, we can hide areas of our brain from an MRI just to think we will forget our anniversary and your birthday, and we drowned out all the noise helping our ability to focus. We also are bigger and stronger than you. We dont believe openly wanting sex being vaulnerable, it's more like the equivalent asking you if you want to go have fun at an amusement park for a few hours. The stubble and messed up hair is a gift from God, you bought the boxers and the mug. And we don't mind being an emotional rock. As long as your there when we need the true rock in our lives, the woman in it.

[MzAsh]

I like that my man is his own man. He doesn’t conform to the norms and pressures of conventional masculinity.

He listens well and communicates effectively.

He’s loyal af.

He’s an equal partner, not above cooking and cleaning.

I love that after 13 years, he still pursues me.

I love the fact that he respects me and doesn’t try to control me.

I love his sweetness, pleasantness, and his willingness to be humble and vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

I think men dont get appreciated enough. There is so many things i love about guys. You don't have to be the typical masculine male, while I do like this type of man, he has disadvantages as well against a more sensitive man and vice versa. The most important thing is that you be true to yourself. Be comfortable with who you are as a person.

[lightbulb27]

Nicely said, you're welcome!

You aren't Italian are you? I just made Brussels sprouts as well... it's a small world.

[AmandaYVR]

Nope.
How do you prepare them? I bake them in the oven for a few mintues, with olive oil, salt and pepper, and sometimes a little balsamic, but yesterday's were plain. They do tend to overcook easily, eh? Those I like the crispy bits too.

[lightbulb27]

I like them crispy in the oven as much as possible... in olive oil salt and change up the spices. Right on!

[Totti94]

It's huge and you understand men much more and better...

We do these mostly when we happy. The reason for happy is our surroundings... That's women, wife, mother, sister, or daughter...

For all of them we able to do so...

It's I could able to say... We try our best for our family and God gifted because we need to do help to woman and lead the family...

Happy men achieve more better.
Have a pleasant sleep.
Good night

[YourFutureEx]

Here's What I Like About Women...
Women like you exist.

[AmandaYVR]

Awwwww 💛🕊

[doeadeer123]

oh, i have to whole-heartedly agree with the grudges thing! that has proved true many times in my life.
love that you are appreciating men <3

[AmandaYVR]

Great!

Yes, I just witnessed it again today. Men can be quite impressive that way sometimes.

[doeadeer123]

yep!

[AmandaYVR]

I've had some good exchanges with guys on gag I had blocked early on. I unblocked everyone, started over, and many guys were willing to interact with me later. And quite a few of those have actually gone very well, and been interesting (I think for both of us.)

[doeadeer123]

awe, that's great! wonderful that some men can get rid of any rough feelings that easily, i wish some girls would learn from that

[chris_987]

The grudges thing is the worst, I know girls that stop talking to me but still talk to girls that did way worst stuff to them.

[MannMitAntworten]

@AmandaYVR I never block anyone. Not here on GaG, not even on my phone. Now, ignoring them, that’s a different story. Some people just need to be ignored.

[jillybeanns]

This is so sweet and I agree with your points! (There’s a few more that I would also add in myself). I’m sure the guys really appreciated this thoughtful Mytake just as I did. 😊

[Sensmind]

I remember years ago I was having a similar conversation about difference between men and women. She said I have just finished reading "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" (or whatever title is), you should have a read of it" . I said "Was it not just pop psychology?" , she replied "Just try it". I found it made an awful lot of sense but not only that explained it well.

[CubsterShura]

I thought I'd come to this myTake to finally see some good wholesome content...

But I can't relate with this. Saying that men are problem-solvers and all when I know plenty of dudes who aren't like you're describing and I also know a lot of females who are very goal-oriented and specific in their wording.

It was pretty stereotypical and annoying myTake. Especially when I'm recently dealing with a relationship where the girl is very rational but the guy is the one with none of the abilities that you mentioned.

Men have a lot of amazing things to offer and I'll forever be grateful for those, but I don't think this myTake necessarily talks about those.

[cereal_muncher]

You're quite the ball of negativity in this sea of joy.

[AmandaYVR]

Okay, "Cubster", let's get a few things straight here. By you saying you thought you'd come to see some "good wholesome content" and apparently not finding any, I'm going to conclude that you were looking for some variant of:
1. Guys who appreciate women who dress modestly, covered without showing skin.
2. Guys who will gladly wait for marriage before having sex with you. They will also not engage in any sexual activity, such as the solicitation of sexy photos, or masturbating at the though of you.
3. Guys who don't drink, do drugs, cigarettes, all 'vices' that are hedonstic.
4. He must not be "an infidel" and should be Muslim like you.
Did I leave anything out?

Well what tf does that have to do with my mytake. Yeah, my mytake. You and I have about zero in common. But I"ve observed you for quite some time now. One of the things you've said is you think older females online are not doing "enough" to help guide the younger females to living a proper morally upright, i. e. conservative young lady life - such as mentioned above. And you think "knowledge is power." So I'm goona do that now, give you some advice. But it's not goona be on your terms, it's on mine. Because what I care about is character. And you need a wake-up call, "My Dear", as you like to call people - males, people older than you, etc. Give me a fing break.

You're harsh, combative, unecessarily antagonistic, even sometimes mean, have called men "cry babies", "trash", love talking about feminism, self-proclaiming you are one. Oh and don't forget "women are impulsive." I'm pretty sure you meant that in regards to sex and them sending out sexy photos, etc., but talk about the pot call the kettle black. Do you ever say anything nice?

I don't care if you're religious or not, but you have such a strict code of conduct when it comes to these - I'll call them 'Big 4' commandments, but you don't seem to try and apply morality to your own behaviour outside of those contexts.

[AmandaYVR]

You have said you have very limited relationship experience. And you feel you've been burned. And with all this breadth of knowledge at the age of 19 (if that is your age), you think there's "plenty of dudes who aren't like this" do ya? Well then I guess my entire premise needs to be thrown out the window. Can't both be true, can they.

I don't buy it, Cubster. I've never seen you compliment a man on gag. But you sure do love it when you pose a question and ask for reassurance and get compliments from them though, don't you? You're lucky they fall for that wo-es me insecurity shtick. Yet you have not one kind word to say about them here, yet again. You choose to criticize me, and that's it. You're spoiled and entitled and narcissistic and a hypocrite. If your really were a good, nice, morally upright and kind religious person, you would learn how to more tactfully, more constructively convey your opinions. This is mine. My opinion, my story to the guys. It wasn't written for you. You are one of these girls who tries to disguise your feelings of competition or antagonism that you have for people. You get enough compliments (on your looks, your insecurity) when you go looking for them. The guys do not. They are seldom publicly (or maybe ever privately) acknowledged for the good in them. But your hypocrisy and lack of compassion does not surprise me. It is how you are. So do me a favour and avoid my questions from now on. I've seen plenty of you and I am not up for trying to teach you. It's really not worth my energy. So kindly take your attitude elsewhere and bugger off. Thank you.

[cereal_muncher]

How do I like Amanda's comments? Like yo, total Chad responses there, nailed it.

[CubsterShura]

@AmandaYVR if you can't handle hearing that someone didn't like your myTake why even write one, then? And why even hate on people for it? Just keep your opinions open to guys if you didn't want criticism.

And no, none of the things you listed were what I was 'expecting'. I don't expect everyone to be that way, and it surely isn't the only way to be 'wholesome'. Bunch of false assumptions right there. And the rest is just you being mad about the false assumptions you pulled out of your own ass.

And I'm pretty sure it wasn't written for me, it was written for all the insecure guys here who can all praise you for how virtuous you are. Which is why I said you could have just kept it open for the guys to comment.

I'm also aware guys don't get enough compliments, and simply because YOU never saw me complimenting men doesn't mean that I don't do it, nor does it mean that I don't appreciate men. I do, not for the same reasons as you do and looks like you got a problem with that. 🙄

[backdoorman]

It seems there are always a few self-centered, immature and insecure women who feel the need to jump in and take a dump on it any time someone says anything positive about men. Congratulations, CubsterShura, for repeatedly earning that distinction. I guess it's not surprising coming from someone who believes most men are trash.

Thoughts on the statement 'men are trash'? ↗

[CubsterShura]

I don't believe most men are trash.

I simply said that I get why a lot of women feel like this.

HUGE difference.

[backdoorman]

Have you changed your mind in the last few weeks or are you just being honest? These are all your words, copied and pasted without modification:

"I unfortunately believe that most are trash though."

"it's not my fault if good men have become a scarcity."

"I don't believe all men are trash'. But unfortunately, I do believe that most are."

"I also believe good men have become rare."

"I just know that good men are rare, simple."

I spent 2 minutes finding these quotes from you. I could spend about 5 minutes more copying and pasting multiple other quotes of yours from your exchanges in that question where you said the same or worse. If GAG had a decent search function I could find countless other examples of you telling the world that you think most men are garbage.

So, are you being dishonest or is your memory failing you as such a young age?

[CubsterShura]

I actually did. People do change their mind with time, you know?

[CubsterShura]

But good men are a rarity I still didn't change my mind on that! Most are just neutral then, I guess.

[backdoorman]

Good men are not a rarity, but fortunately women like you are.

[CubsterShura]

"women like me" and u know me for like, 2 seconds lololol

[AmandaYVR]

"if you can't handle hearing that someone didn't like your myTake why even write one, then? And why even hate on people for it? Just keep your opinions open to guys if you didn't want criticism."

Nope, you're not going to get away with such a statement that easily.
Of course I expect not all happy responses on everything I write. And when I f up and don't express myself in the nicest, or most clear, or most succicnt ways, you better believe I hear about it. And of course there's loads of disagreements, but those are something else. The internet is not a place for sissies, but I am developing calluses, and I am seeing the differences between myself and other users, and I have learned quite a few things about myself, and life. And during that time I've written mytakes and questions about things like conflict, censorship, the gender war, etc etc. Critique and feedback is the name of the internet, but that doesn't mean that all disagreeable comments are insightful or even true. You disagreed with me, and now I'm disagreeing with you. So don't play that bullshit pretending I can't handle it.

Your criticisms are just illogical, which makes me think you have an alterior motive or attempted-hidden biases for saying them. And you can label this what you want. Yes, I am making some very negative observations about you. I've seen you around here for months and I am now calling you out on just a small portion of it, but just remember, you are technically the one who started "hating" on me. I'm doing a follow-up.

[AmandaYVR]

So I'll tell you why I didn't close this off to females and make it male replies only.
* Because I don't believe in being exclusionary. Pinks are just as welcome to comment on everything I write.
* Because it would get the females who wanted to, a chance to share something positive that they feel, in their own words. And if men know that I am not the lone (or one of the pinks on gag who feel positively about them, are willing to swallow their pride and ego to compliment them and admit that maybe they don't always have it so easy, and are willing to declare it publicly), that would be good for men to hear. But I didn't write it intending for that. I wrote it as a standalone, from my pov. Anything else is cherry on top.
* Because I am not a sycophant, nor am I looking for that in others. I don't need this to be just between me and the guys, to the point of excluding girls. Why is that necessary? To block the nasty ones like you? Well you're the only one so far. My point is saying that you could have some thoughts of your own, instead of only criticizing mine and in the process disparaging the guys. So good for you - you got a two-fer.

[backdoorman]

Unless you pretend to be someone you're not every time you post on GAG, then yes, I do know more than enough about you to judge your character. You have been a prolific poster on GAG for a long time and you have written plenty of sexist garbage here. And you have also made it abundantly clear that you are not a very honest person. So yeah, I'm very confident in my initial assessment of your character in my first response here.

[CubsterShura]

So disagreeing, in your book, is making a bunch of assumptions on other people and calling them nasty because they left a comment that you didn't like?

Of course anybody who disagrees with you is illogical, cuz HOW DARE THEY, right?

Also if I had any 'agenda' or 'motive' I wouldn't have left several other opinions favoring men that I did on g@g and only because you haven't seen them doesn't mean they don't exist. And they get plenty of male upvotes. So nope, no motive here. Just saying what I thought.

You're the only one leaving nasty remarks. And the huge wall of texts clearly shows how well you are coping with opposition. Speak for yourself, my dear! I'm done with this.

[backdoorman]

Good men are common, as are good women, but you are clearly not one of them today. The good news is, as you pointed out, people change, and at your age there is time for you to actually become a good human being. But you have a ways to go for sure.

[CubsterShura]

"Good men are common"

Yeah that's why all my female friends and I have experience of getting molested by our uncles in childhood. We're not cousins so we don't even share the same uncle in common.

I have no reason to believe that good men are rare because it only makes things harder for me as a straight female. But when I've grown up seeing men who do all sorts of wrong shit but getting away with it, don't blame me when I can't help but think how many 'common good men' out there have done malicious shit that no one else has any idea about.

[backdoorman]

In recent months, however, you have been moving in the wrong direction. I don't know what has happened to you but you are not the person you were a year ago. I appreciated and admired a lot of what you wrote back them, but it seems in the last few months you have become a more shallow, bitter, cynical, openly sexist person. I only say that to point out that I think there is a good person in you somewhere, but it seems you have lost that in yourself. I hope you find it again.

[izzie_morris]

this is so true! i think men and women are so different and when out together they really balance each other out in a lot of ways

[John_Doesnt]

I liked it 30,000 years ago when women were all strippers and the men barely had enough mammoth fur to cover our junk.

The women are all strippers, plus dragons

[AmandaYVR]

"Strippers', yeah, that's what they were. You know, right next to their poles set up in the caves. Good exercise too.

You'd probably like George Lucas' famous line to Carrie Fisher on her not feeling 'supported' enough in her wardrobe... "There's no underwear in space." Great line.

[John_Doesnt]

They had mammoth tusks to use as stripper poles.

[AmandaYVR]

Well I'm definitely not goona high five or upvote you on that but you definitely get a chuckle 😉

[John_Doesnt]

You're totally a stripper

[AmandaYVR]

I dated a stripper (excuse me, my old friend, "exotic dancer/performer") (we became good friends instead) but I cannot believe that some girls have been tricked into thinking that poll dancing is the latest, greatest thing, and way to exercise. Man, are you guys lucky on that one.