Who Are the Nerds, Really?

Anonymous
Who Are the Nerds, Really?

Nerds are awesome! They have the coolest, most glamorous lives! Everyone should strive to be a nerd! Here are the reasons why:

1. Nerds are the most popular guy or gal in the library!

Everyone (in the library) loves the nerd. They are frequent patrons. The nerd is the most popular guy or gal within the library. The nerd wants to learn everything there is to know about stuff, which may or may not be the most useful to most people.

Who Are the Nerds, Really?

2. Nerds have eye-protectors!

Nerds are famous for their prescriptive lenses. Glasses are life. Without glasses, they can't see the world. Glasses also mean that they have eye-protectors. A quick splash is not going to hurt them, because the glasses are there to shield the eyes of unexpected splashes and debris.

Who Are the Nerds, Really?

3. Nerds stay within their little nerd squad!

Nerds generally tend to hang out with other nerds. They don't really fit in other social groups. Just the Nerd Squad. The Nerd Squad provides a safe haven for male and female nerds to get away from hypermasculine jocks and hyperfeminine cheerleaders.

Who Are the Nerds, Really?

4. A Work-Out in the Brain can turn an Infobese Nerd into a healthy Big Data Analyst!

While a work-out means going to the gym for non-nerds to improve physical health, a work-out for nerds means constantly learning how to handle big data and extracting useful information in all that cheap, informational junk. A healthy nerd must work out with the help of software applications and programming languages (such as MySQL, VBA, and R) in order to process information more effectively, while an unhealthy nerd would allow the useless information to clutter his/her mind. Also, a healthy nerd would choose the right foods to develop a strong, functional brain, while the unhealthy nerd would choose the WRONG kind of foods -- foods that can damage the brain cells.

Who Are the Nerds, Really?

5. Nerds have a sex life . . . in encyclopedias and academic journals!

Nerds do have a sex life. But their sex lives revolve around digging into encyclopedias and academic journals. As nerds, they know they are very unattractive to people. Dorky hairstyle. Dorky dress. Really ugly, old-fashioned glasses that fit them due to their extreme vision impairment. Aloof, taciturn personality. So, instead of having a relationship like a normal person would, a nerd would go to the library and read about sex through the world wide web. Occasionally, they would hang out with the Nerd Squad to uphold three core values: (1) clarity, (2) charity, and (3) continence. The third value, continence, tells nerds that their only "sex life" is to refrain from ALL sexual activity.

Who Are the Nerds, Really?
Who Are the Nerds, Really?
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  • sedrftvgyhujik
    To me its obsessing over things that clearly have no benefit are a lot of effort or cost and arn't that stimulating?
    Tec has befit I can make something I can fix things that's just awesome and that's the mind of an engineer sadly in the past a lot of people couldn't see that!
  • HeWhoPonders
    Can't tell if trying to make us feel all buttery...
    or just very well trained in the way of sarcasm.

    If the first is correct. Thank you and good Take.

    If the second, I admire your advancements in the field of being passive aggressive. ^_^
  • zagor
    Re: 3, actually many nerds don't hang out with other people at all.

    I have to say the eye thing is true; several times I've had bees bounce off my glasses while riding a bike and was thankful for them. The glasses, not the bees.
  • YourFutureEx
    Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.
  • Josht13
    Can't tell if you're saying it's good or bad to be a nerd.
  • AlwaysBelieving
    Guilty as charged. Though my glasses are mainly for light sensitivity. Does that count?
    • Anonymous

      I would count that as "vision impairment".

  • Alex88F
    but the real question is, dear mankind
    WHO TO HELL CARES?
    • or who rules the word? Have you ever heard of someone called Bill Gates? 😂 😂

    • Alex88F

      @YellowCactus i couldnt care less if he's a nerd, a queer or both. an intelligent person looks above tags, but that's my honest opinion

  • Jxpxtxr
    Hahahaha
  • sugar95
    I think it's cool to be smart. :)
  • karahiri
    Lol. I want my own nerd squad!
  • smølf
    Right... a bit patronising but ok, it's your view.
  • Nik1hil
    Do I look like nerd
  • TonyRyanAgain
    K...
  • jimtek
    no, nerds are inferior.
  • willix
    soyou're praising a defective personality? cool.
  • Anonymous
    Good description, lol :P
  • Anonymous
    Wtf I'm a jock and I like school and get good grades, and so do my friends. I don't look like that or follow these stereotypes. Whoever wrote this is shallow asf.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, real people are multi-dimensional. But I'm not talking about real people. I'm talking about nerds, a high school stereotype.

    • Anonymous

      Well in real life. There's real people

  • Anonymous
    Probably in your country nerds are like that, but in my country nerds are alcoholic people with rude character and serial players with their S. O lol
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