From a relationship coaching lens, well said across the board. The finger pointing and annoyance with who put 'you' in the 'friend zone' is misguided. We are already friends until we ask them out (or to sleep together) and they say yes. If they don't oblige, hopefully we're still friends. If not, we lost a friend because we took personal their desire to keep things platonic.
Of course its real. When someone is friend-zoned that has a slim possibility of changing. And if its bro/sis-zoned then that's even worse. Whenever om not interested of a guy but I think he's interested in me I make it clear that he's in the friend-zone. Why? So that he would know its hard for things to actually become something more than friends. It sucks I know but you can't really do anything about it.
How to get out of the friendzone: realize that she doesn't look at you that way, and that no amount of following her like a puppy doing favors for her is going to change that. Move on.
I agree with some parts, but friendzone does exist. Weaklings use it in hopes that the girl will magically fall in love with them if they constantly talk shit about girls boyfriend.
And yes, girl can friendzone you, but if you have any dignity, you can weight whether you can see her in purely friendship way or you really want relationship with her (and so you move on).
Sadly I've seen countless of times guys that stayed in friendzone and would do some pretty slick stuff in order to break relationship of girl that friendzoned them.
Whether or not it exists all comes down to how you want to define it.
Personally, I think it exists. Girls try to exagerate it to make guys seem like entitled assholes, but guys try to exagerate it to make them seem like innoscent victims. In most cases the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Ya it does exist but there is a way to get out of it, you simply just move on and tell the girl you can't be friends. That's what i usually do when a girl only sees me as a friend, i simply tell them i can't be friends and i move on. Simple as that and trust me it's best to move on.
A guy and girl can be just friends only when the girl is not asking favours from the guy and the guy is not asking for sex. If anyone is doing these things, they should escalate to friends with benefits or end the friendship just because it's not worth it and the person is just taking advantage of the other person.
The friend zone is quite real. Men can't control whether a woman is mutually attracted or not, so sometimes we get the 'let's just be friends' speech. It happens, but I find it to be overblown. And if you think it's not real, you haven't seen what happens when a woman gets the friend zone speech, holy shit.
Men can, however, control their reaction to the friend zone. My suggestion: cut contact and find what you really want from someone else. Easy.
This is simply a way to say they are not interested in you more than friendship and nothing more. This can be a blessing in disguise. One women on YouTube who has a dating blog calls it 'a way God protects you' because she or him could have been a disaster to you and would have regretted it at the end.
The friend zone exists and I wouldn't want to be in it. The friend zone is where the woman keeps the rejected "boring" man because she KNOWS that the man has feelings for her and he can prove to be beneficial at a certain point of time. The sooner men realize this, the better.
Wrong, and this is why the term "friend zone" is harmful. The reality is, the guy willingly stays because he thinks he can change her mind by just proving to her how many favors he can do. By calling it the "friend zone," you're putting the blame on the girl, when in reality she already told the guy she wasn't interested. It's his choice to stick around. And, to her, he's just being a friend now. Friends are nice to each other and, yes, do favors when they need it.
Once those guys realize that we can't control our feelings or attraction, and changing our minds is not as easy as "I'll help her with her homework every time she needs it, and then she'll see!" Then they'll have an easier time moving on and "escaping" the dreaded friend zone.
@snowangle That is why I said the sooner men realize that they can walk away, the better. "By calling it the "friend zone," you're putting the blame on the girl, when in reality she already told the guy she wasn't interested." Yes. I have no problem with that. But the "friend-zone" isn't the same as being friends. When a guy gets rejected, it usually hurts and there are less chances of him being a good friend with the girl. Totally okay with friends helping each other but when a girl keeps him around for benefits as he is too stupid to realize what's going on, she deserves the blame, and he deserves it too.
Definition of friend- A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. What guys do in the friend zone- Kiss ass. Spot the difference.
How exactly does she "keep" him around? Is it now her duty to say "look, since you said you like me, you can't hang out with me anymore"? It's 100% his choice to stick around. She can't make that call for him; he has to be a big boy and do that himself. I've been rejected by guy friends before and I was able to make the call either "I can stay friends with him and just find someone else to like," or "I have to keep my distance for a while so I can deal with this."
@snowangle Let me simplify what I want to say. 1) Girl rejects the guy but guy still has feelings for her and is willing to show his affection through certain actions like help with stuff. Girl accepts help and affection but gives nothing in return. This is the friend zone where everything is just one way. It's the guy's hopes (and stupidity) that keep him here in the friend-zone. 2) Girl rejects the guy and the guy has affection for her and expresses it through actions (same as above) like helping her with stuff and she returns favors by helping him in some ways. This is a two-way street of friendship. I'm not blaming girls for "keeping" him in the friendzone. It's his fault but it's her fault too if she is willing to take all he gives her but give nothing in return.
Easy to beat the "friend zone." As a guy, you likely know your attraction level to someone RIGHT AWAY when you meet them. Say something about it immediately, if possible, and get the ball rolling in a positive direction, or within the first few times of talking to them.
Learn to recognize body language & how a woman responds to you, and then take immediate action when they do. Be decisive and swift, and you will NEVER get yourself into the friend zone.
The friendzone is only real to those who have been hurt by it... Doesn't have to be anything serious, but when someone says "I'm sorry... I like you, but only as a friend" is one of the most breaking things you can experience in young adulthood...
Actual condition : the girl really likes the guy AS A friend and continued the friendship after refusing his proposal.
You case : the girl doesn't like the guy. She doesn't want to see him again but is too nice to tell him to fuck off.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don't see why people complain about the friend zone so much. It's better to stay friends with someone then enemies, even if they don't reciprocate your feelings for something more.
I've had times where I'd be friends with some girls then ask them out, even if it was a casual way and then they'd avoid me and start acting dramatic around me which would be awkward.
It's like ok you're not into me, fine but there's no reason to treat me like that all because you didn't feel the same way.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
The friendzone is indeed real, but it is mainly because when a guy shows his interest and gets shot down, he is too damn stupid to leave and hangs around hoping she will "change her mind". If guys stopped sticking around after a girl showed no interest. He wouldn't be in the friend zone.
I am finally happy to see this mytake. just watched that video few days back. I think that it is simply better to ask what you want and if you don't get it, you can just leave and move on to someone else.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
52Opinion
From a relationship coaching lens, well said across the board. The finger pointing and annoyance with who put 'you' in the 'friend zone' is misguided. We are already friends until we ask them out (or to sleep together) and they say yes. If they don't oblige, hopefully we're still friends. If not, we lost a friend because we took personal their desire to keep things platonic.
Of course its real. When someone is friend-zoned that has a slim possibility of changing. And if its bro/sis-zoned then that's even worse. Whenever om not interested of a guy but I think he's interested in me I make it clear that he's in the friend-zone. Why? So that he would know its hard for things to actually become something more than friends. It sucks I know but you can't really do anything about it.
Nope. The friendzone is very real, and i appreciate the girls who admitted it in the comments.
Stop trying to make already frustrated guy even sadder. If you want to help, offer tips as to how to get out of the friendzone.
I dont get friendzoned much because i dont become friends with girls and i dont let myself be used.
How to get out of the friendzone: realize that she doesn't look at you that way, and that no amount of following her like a puppy doing favors for her is going to change that. Move on.
@snowangle
Thank you, but i already know that.
Make mytake on that, and let the others know.
I agree with some parts, but friendzone does exist. Weaklings use it in hopes that the girl will magically fall in love with them if they constantly talk shit about girls boyfriend.
And yes, girl can friendzone you, but if you have any dignity, you can weight whether you can see her in purely friendship way or you really want relationship with her (and so you move on).
Sadly I've seen countless of times guys that stayed in friendzone and would do some pretty slick stuff in order to break relationship of girl that friendzoned them.
Whether or not it exists all comes down to how you want to define it.
Personally, I think it exists. Girls try to exagerate it to make guys seem like entitled assholes, but guys try to exagerate it to make them seem like innoscent victims. In most cases the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Ya it does exist but there is a way to get out of it, you simply just move on and tell the girl you can't be friends. That's what i usually do when a girl only sees me as a friend, i simply tell them i can't be friends and i move on. Simple as that and trust me it's best to move on.
Nice. do you lose a friend. Im sure that was the goal...
A guy and girl can be just friends only when the girl is not asking favours from the guy and the guy is not asking for sex.
If anyone is doing these things, they should escalate to friends with benefits or end the friendship just because it's not worth it and the person is just taking advantage of the other person.
The friend zone is quite real. Men can't control whether a woman is mutually attracted or not, so sometimes we get the 'let's just be friends' speech. It happens, but I find it to be overblown. And if you think it's not real, you haven't seen what happens when a woman gets the friend zone speech, holy shit.
Men can, however, control their reaction to the friend zone. My suggestion: cut contact and find what you really want from someone else. Easy.
This is simply a way to say they are not interested in you more than friendship and nothing more. This can be a blessing in disguise. One women on YouTube who has a dating blog calls it 'a way God protects you' because she or him could have been a disaster to you and would have regretted it at the end.
The friend zone exists and I wouldn't want to be in it. The friend zone is where the woman keeps the rejected "boring" man because she KNOWS that the man has feelings for her and he can prove to be beneficial at a certain point of time.
The sooner men realize this, the better.
Wrong, and this is why the term "friend zone" is harmful. The reality is, the guy willingly stays because he thinks he can change her mind by just proving to her how many favors he can do. By calling it the "friend zone," you're putting the blame on the girl, when in reality she already told the guy she wasn't interested. It's his choice to stick around. And, to her, he's just being a friend now. Friends are nice to each other and, yes, do favors when they need it.
Once those guys realize that we can't control our feelings or attraction, and changing our minds is not as easy as "I'll help her with her homework every time she needs it, and then she'll see!" Then they'll have an easier time moving on and "escaping" the dreaded friend zone.
@snowangle That is why I said the sooner men realize that they can walk away, the better.
"By calling it the "friend zone," you're putting the blame on the girl, when in reality she already told the guy she wasn't interested."
Yes. I have no problem with that. But the "friend-zone" isn't the same as being friends. When a guy gets rejected, it usually hurts and there are less chances of him being a good friend with the girl. Totally okay with friends helping each other but when a girl keeps him around for benefits as he is too stupid to realize what's going on, she deserves the blame, and he deserves it too.
Definition of friend- A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
What guys do in the friend zone- Kiss ass.
Spot the difference.
How exactly does she "keep" him around? Is it now her duty to say "look, since you said you like me, you can't hang out with me anymore"? It's 100% his choice to stick around. She can't make that call for him; he has to be a big boy and do that himself. I've been rejected by guy friends before and I was able to make the call either "I can stay friends with him and just find someone else to like," or "I have to keep my distance for a while so I can deal with this."
@snowangle Let me simplify what I want to say.
1) Girl rejects the guy but guy still has feelings for her and is willing to show his affection through certain actions like help with stuff. Girl accepts help and affection but gives nothing in return. This is the friend zone where everything is just one way. It's the guy's hopes (and stupidity) that keep him here in the friend-zone.
2) Girl rejects the guy and the guy has affection for her and expresses it through actions (same as above) like helping her with stuff and she returns favors by helping him in some ways. This is a two-way street of friendship.
I'm not blaming girls for "keeping" him in the friendzone. It's his fault but it's her fault too if she is willing to take all he gives her but give nothing in return.
Easy to beat the "friend zone." As a guy, you likely know your attraction level to someone RIGHT AWAY when you meet them. Say something about it immediately, if possible, and get the ball rolling in a positive direction, or within the first few times of talking to them.
Learn to recognize body language & how a woman responds to you, and then take immediate action when they do. Be decisive and swift, and you will NEVER get yourself into the friend zone.
The friendzone is only real to those who have been hurt by it... Doesn't have to be anything serious, but when someone says "I'm sorry... I like you, but only as a friend" is one of the most breaking things you can experience in young adulthood...
Actual condition : the girl really likes the guy AS A friend and continued the friendship after refusing his proposal.
You case : the girl doesn't like the guy. She doesn't want to see him again but is too nice to tell him to fuck off.
I don't see why people complain about the friend zone so much. It's better to stay friends with someone then enemies, even if they don't reciprocate your feelings for something more.
I've had times where I'd be friends with some girls then ask them out, even if it was a casual way and then they'd avoid me and start acting dramatic around me which would be awkward.
It's like ok you're not into me, fine but there's no reason to treat me like that all because you didn't feel the same way.
The friendzone is indeed real, but it is mainly because when a guy shows his interest and gets shot down, he is too damn stupid to leave and hangs around hoping she will "change her mind".
If guys stopped sticking around after a girl showed no interest. He wouldn't be in the friend zone.
I am finally happy to see this mytake. just watched that video few days back. I think that it is simply better to ask what you want and if you don't get it, you can just leave and move on to someone else.
The friend zone is exactly what the name suggests... you're a friend and that's all you are.
Of course the friend zone is real. Whether or not a guy chooses to stay in it or dissassociate is entirely up to him.
Chances are those women who marry their best friend at a young are probably going to cheat on them because they think they're screwing their brother.
Friend zone is real when you dont want to be intimate with that person. You only look at the person as companion nothing more.