Say it louder for the people in the back.
I will be talking about men mostly in this take, so if you’re easily triggered™️ and will whine saying i’m a misandrist, a feminazi or whatever, please carry on your life in your little bubble.
To explain why it doesn’t exist, I shall first explain the concept of the “friend zone”.
The friend zone is what people call it when a human (often female) purely wants a platonic relationship with another human (often male), but they seek a romantic/sexual relationship.
So why doesn’t it exist? And why is it wrong to use the word? Why do (majorily) men seem to think it exists? A couple of reasons:
The right to say no
Anyone has the right to say no. To have a sexual relationship, both parties must agree or we call it rape. Seems easy right? Yet those that use the term “friend zone” seem unable to comprehend it. Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner. They have the right to do so. Stop making people feel bad for rejecting you. They don’t owe you anything.
The ego of some men is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them. That someone might just see them as a friend, rather than as a romantic interest. The friendzone was made to soften this ‘blow’ and make unrequited love seem like it’s somehow the (majorily) girls’ fault. A human didn’t feel the same way you did. Boohoo.
“The nice guy”
Simply put, if you view yourself as a nice guy, you often aren’t. By being nice to someone, you are not entitled to anything. You are not better than someone else, you do not “deserve” any lovin’ because you were nice. If the world worked this way, i’d have to fuck nearly everyone around me. The expectation that being nice gets you ANYTHING, let alone sex, in return, is incompatible with human decency. If you think being nice entitles you to someone elses body, you’re the awful one. And then you complain about “girls don’t date nice guys!” No, girls don’t date you. There’s a difference. You’re the one with underlying victim issues and misogyny.
Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole, makes you an asshole.
— Desireé Dallagiacomo & Justin Lamb - “The Friend Zone”
Another thing people often don’t talk about when on the subject, is how immature someone is when they have these expectations. In my opinion, one can only be considered an adult when they are who they are because they want to, and expect nothing in return.
One of the most toxic things about the friend zone is the fact you devalue a friendship with someone. Being friends with someone should be seen as a privilege rather than a misfortune. And can you imagine the other party? Finding out someone doesn’t value you as a whole person but instad just wants to bone you?
Friendship is something that should make you happy. Not some sort of penalty box.
To sum it all up, the friend zone is a terrible thing to think is real. Just let the rejection go and get over yourself, only to start again. Jeez.