The Friendzone Does Not Exist

[bente2]

Say it louder for the people in the back.

I will be talking about men mostly in this take, so if you’re easily triggered™️ and will whine saying i’m a misandrist, a feminazi or whatever, please carry on your life in your little bubble.

To explain why it doesn’t exist, I shall first explain the concept of the “friend zone”.

The friend zone is what people call it when a human (often female) purely wants a platonic relationship with another human (often male), but they seek a romantic/sexual relationship.

So why doesn’t it exist? And why is it wrong to use the word? Why do (majorily) men seem to think it exists? A couple of reasons:

The right to say no

Anyone has the right to say no. To have a sexual relationship, both parties must agree or we call it rape. Seems easy right? Yet those that use the term “friend zone” seem unable to comprehend it. Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner. They have the right to do so. Stop making people feel bad for rejecting you. They don’t owe you anything.

Male ego

The ego of some men is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them. That someone might just see them as a friend, rather than as a romantic interest. The friendzone was made to soften this ‘blow’ and make unrequited love seem like it’s somehow the (majorily) girls’ fault. A human didn’t feel the same way you did. Boohoo.

“The nice guy”

Simply put, if you view yourself as a nice guy, you often aren’t. By being nice to someone, you are not entitled to anything. You are not better than someone else, you do not “deserve” any lovin’ because you were nice. If the world worked this way, i’d have to fuck nearly everyone around me. The expectation that being nice gets you ANYTHING, let alone sex, in return, is incompatible with human decency. If you think being nice entitles you to someone elses body, you’re the awful one. And then you complain about “girls don’t date nice guys!” No, girls don’t date you. There’s a difference. You’re the one with underlying victim issues and misogyny.

Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole, makes you an asshole.
— Desireé Dallagiacomo & Justin Lamb - “The Friend Zone”

Immaturity

Another thing people often don’t talk about when on the subject, is how immature someone is when they have these expectations. In my opinion, one can only be considered an adult when they are who they are because they want to, and expect nothing in return.

Devalueing friendship

One of the most toxic things about the friend zone is the fact you devalue a friendship with someone. Being friends with someone should be seen as a privilege rather than a misfortune. And can you imagine the other party? Finding out someone doesn’t value you as a whole person but instad just wants to bone you?

Friendship is something that should make you happy. Not some sort of penalty box.

To sum it all up, the friend zone is a terrible thing to think is real. Just let the rejection go and get over yourself, only to start again. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

If only all men were as smart as you and could see the world in your way! What a shame we're a bunch of dumb asses. If you don't appreciate the sarcasm, please carry on your life in your little bubble.

[bente2]

This is exactly what i was saying, i’m not a misandrist. I love men, most are awesome. The guys on here though... seem to fail to comprehend basic human interactions.

[Opinion Owner]

Your myTake doesn't say that you are talking about guys on G@G, so I thought you were speaking in much more general terms. Most of the guys on this site are not typical of the general population. This site has guys who have the failure-to-launch syndrome, never had a girlfriend, and don't understand women at all. It has guys who had a girlfriend once, they got hurt, and now they're mad at the world and gone MGTOW. It also has players who have no respect for anyone.

The friend zone does exist. A girl says she sees a guy as a platonic friend only and she will never see him as a romantic interest. Any reasonable person recognizes that we each have the right to make those judgments and accepting rejection is just something that we all must learn to do.

[bente2]

But you see, the point is, when someone comes to terms with just being friends they wouldn’t say they “are friendzoned”, they would say this is my friend. That’s the issue i have with naming it this way. It makes it sound as though the girl has done something wrong.

I guess you’re right about gag not representing actual men, because i wouldn’t even be dating then😂. But still, it seems rather important to say what’s on your mind

[Opinion Owner]

I suppose when some guys say they have been friend zoned, they have some bitterness in what they say. But eliminating that expression will not eliminate their anger. If I say I have been friend zoned, it just means that the lady is not interested and we have no romantic future together. I dated a woman for two years who never fell in love with me. We have remained "friends" (we see each other sporadically and it is friendly but I avoid seeing her very often) and I don;t blame her for what happened; you can't make yourself fall in love regardless of whether it is "a great idea."

[Aguamarina]

Yeah it doesn't exist. Some People like to use the "friend zone" as an excuse.

[r4ngeF]

ok, lets do this:
sometimes "friend zones" are just a mere way of men to enjoy all worlds. (mostly men's)
it is well known that women are having much harder time dissociating feelings from sexual desires, and so it helps men manipulating the and squeeze them until they dry out.
i also think that men could see much more reasons to be "only" friends with someone, since most of the times its women who are struggling and being afraid to talk about their feelings (else, you cannot explain the urge of willing to enter to a twilight zone such as "friendzone") which is rather weird, since women are those who are better at expressing themselves.
the only thing im pretty sure of about friend zones, that it is always a "level" to reach, in order for you to reach other "levels" in which you may exploit everyone.

i am a cynical person. i do not believe in people's pure honesty. i dont always think its that bad, but i still believe that there's always a concealed emotion or a concealed interest behind people's intentions.
it may not always be a "bad interest" since some of us could really absorb pleasure and enjoyment from the idea of helping anyone, but lets face it, its still an interest. so some are bad, and some are less bad.

once you've reached the conception of "how to use it for your own purposes"...
there's actually absolutely no limit in what you may cause or make people do.
friend zone is that zone where people will feel obligated to you, just cause they trust you the most, and too blind to see that they - as well - have that power, but they are not selfish enough to use it.

in the end, i must stay reluctant, and admit that i've seen in life cases that really amazed me. some people did have the mental strength to be in such a relationship and keep it platonic.
it is true, i dont think it will end right between them, but i cannot say I've never seen a beautiful relationship like those before.

to be honest, we all talk from our own private island.
there's a saying in hebrew: "a man shouts that he lacks"
and in some point, everything we say or do (even here on gag), is a derivative of our own needs and urges, thus, all of what we express here, is sort of a huge snow ball of "projection", and this is why i will always not think that im perfectly right. there are some slight chances that im wrong, and eventually my perspective is just a twisted one, processed in a mind that is too cynical to withstand the idea of good people.
people that are utterly not me.

[ThatPersonOverThere]

I've never seen a post with so much wrong about... man where to start...
Okay, YOUR OWN DEFINITION of what the friend zone is
"The friend zone is what people call it when a human (often female) purely wants a platonic relationship with another human (often male), but they seek a romantic/sexual relationship."

The right to say no - I agree that you have the right to say no, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

Male ego - The friendzone was not made to "Cushion the blow." If you really think it hurts any less by the virtue of having a common terminology, you are mistaken. Does getting "Dumped" hurt any less because you have a word for it? No, so don't be an idiot. And I wouldn't use the word "Fault" but if the male wants a relationship and the female doesn't, then she is in fact the party responsible for there not being a relationship.

“The nice guy” - No, being nice doesn't mean you're owed sex, who said otherwise? You know what IS incompatible with human decency? When a guy puts you in the hospital and you reward him with sex, yet that shit happens constantly. At any rate, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

Immaturity - When you go to work, is it because you want to, or because you're expecting something in return? That's how the world works dear, we all have needs and we're all trying to get them met. Regardless, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

Devalueing friendship - Holy shit the baseless assumptions you make! Who the hell said that they don't value you as a person? Who the hell said that wanting sex with somebody is devaluing the existing friendship? Friendship without being able to have sex with the person you want to < Friendship with being able to have sex with the person you want to. That's just mathematically true. Just because people would rather have Y, doesn't mean that X loses its objective value. And yeah, it's such a fucking privilege to spend time with a woman who doesn't value you enough to give a relationship a fair chance. If you really can't even give him ONE date to see how things go, are YOU really HIS friend?

Your entire argument boils down to "The friendzone isn't real, the evidence is these unrelated things based on my flawed assumptions of what guys are really thinking. Also I find the notion of the friendzone to be offensive, therefore it doesn't exist." If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of guys find the friendzone offensive as well...

[bente2]

She might be the one that doesn’t want a relationship but it is her right to do so. And then guys go and say “aw i got friendzoned so hard” like it’s her fault. No, she didn’t want a relationship with you. It’s no one’s fault.

Just thinking sex is a reward in general is hella creepy?

Inaccurate comparison.

What the fuuuuck, dude, you’re pathetic.

[ThatPersonOverThere]

Again, nobody even remotely claimed that she didn't have the right to not want a relationship. I seriously don't know who is telling you otherwise. Again, it's not "Fault" but she would be the party responsible if she's the one preventing it.

Sex isn't always a reward, but it can be. What would you call it when a guy beats a woman so bad she winds up in the hospital, yet she continues having sex with him? To the rest of us, it looks like women habitually reward guy's shit behavior with sex. And if you'd STOP having sex with men who beat you, men would STOP beating women. They do it because you fools let them get away with it and reward them for doing so.

Inaccurate comparison on what? The point still stands that your "Evidence that the friendzone doesn't exist" is complete bullshit.

You're the one getting bent out of shape that people have given a term to a universally recognized concept, and then going off the handle based off of your idiotic assumptions.

[Quintessence]

That last point--yes, yes, a hundred times yes!

I've always hated the word "friendzone" for that very reason. It doesn't just devalue the meaning of friendship; it goes completely against what friendship actually entails.

Friendship, by definition, is based on MUTUAL affection, respect, trust, loyalty, and all that nice stuff. The "friendzone", on the other hand, IS NOT. It's not a mutual bond. It refers to a situation wherein Party A has rejected Party B, and Party B--being the altruistic, amazing character that they are--have settled for the next best thing: a platonic relationship.

That's just wrong. That's NOT friendship. The word "friend" does not belong in the description of that situation.
Call it unrequited love. Call it a one-sided, unfulfilled romance. Call it an acquaintanceship. Call it a rejection. But do NOT call it friendship.

Maybe it's just me, but I believe that friendship ought to be sacred. If I call you my friend, it means I would take a bullet for you. It means I care for, admire, and trust you. And if you're truly my friend, you will feel the same way about me. Anything less than that is not friendship in my books.

[melanieeeB]

Totally agreed!

[Coconut_Man]

Agreed 👏👏

[Anonymous]

Well nice take and all. You are not entitled to fuck anybody anymore than I'm entitled to fuck a morbidly obese girl who is always nice to me.

Being just friends with someone of the opposite sex (or even same sex) is one thing. I have one gal pal I love to death. It's easy because we started just doing business together and I've never felt attracted to her. She never mooched of me financially. When we hang out it's a fair split. She sometimes buys meals or tickets or vice versa. She is a true friend.

The "friend zone" is when a person (usually female) uses the guys feelings for exploitive purposes. She can get free meals, male attention, a guy around that she can use to make other guys jealous, someone to carry heavy things or fix her car, someone to dump her emotional baggage or get male advice etc. She will even sometimes throw a guy a "bone" just to keep his attention if he starts to wise up to her bullshit.

This is like a guy who plays a girl for sex saying he's in love with her. But it's even worse because at least sex is a mutually enjoyable experience. With the friend zone one person is getting completely taken advantage of.

If you are doing this to some guy right now without telling him straight up you are not interested in him romantically then you are a selfish piece of shit. I'm not going to sugar coat it. If you really care for him as a "friend" you wouldn't torture him like that.

Go ahead and downvote me girls.

[CubsterShura]

How about I say, stop playing the victim already?

[Opinion Owner]

@CubsterShura say the same thing to the girl who got fucked over by the "bad boy".

Seriously, I'm never said a women and men can't be friends. That's completely fine AS LONG as it's directly communicated that's only as far as it goes. But you women (and admittedly some guys) won't do that because you selfish agendas for keeping that person's attention.

[CubsterShura]

Lol what? If anything, I'm disappointed and hurt if a guy is in a friendzone with me lol. I tell him to either accept that we will be either still friends or no more friends. Lmao. Even then guys whine like kids as if they don't understand the meaning of my straightforward reply and start bashing me like, "Yoy don't understand my feelings you never liked me you betrayed me ok we're done forever" like wtf? Seriously, anything that happens after I give my last word is solely his responsibility and not mine. They make stupid assumptions like I like someone else, or I think that they are not 'worthy' enough, which is not true at all. This is why I avoid talking to guys after such incidents and it's after a few days that I decide whether or not to cut ties with him.

Also, bad boy and friendzone are totally different things. I'm done with male logic.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah male logic sometimes hurts too much because more often then not, it's the truth.

[CubsterShura]

Truth, what? Dude you comparing friendzone and bad boys. It's like comparing the color of a shoe with the speed of a horse. They are not related at all. And besides you ignored everything else I said so I guess you have nothing more to say. Me neither, bye.

[Opinion Owner]

@CubsterShura because bad boys only want to get in your pants, but some are good at manipulating you to get it done. Selfish women friendzone men (usually nice guys) to get all the benefits of having a man around.

And for he last fucking time, it's completely fine for a woman and man to be friends only if this is communicated FROM THE START. But many women will dangle the carrot for their own selfish reasons.

Older guys do wise up to this. I also wonder who was the white knight who downvoted me. He must be a pushover for women.

[CubsterShura]

Selfish women friendzone men? Oh okay so if a guy has romantic feelings for me it's now MY fault for existing! Great, so what else would be my fault? Oh yeah, if I get raped that would be my own fault as well, I guess. Only slutty women get raped.

The difference between the white knight that down voted you and you is that he has a brain. You don't. And this reply of yours proves that further. Bye.

[Opinion Owner]

@CubsterShura you are definitely 16...

[Opinion Owner]

Friendzone Is Real Ladies, Please Be Kind To Him ↗

[englisc]

I think you're reading way too much into it. The friend-zone is just a term to describe the situation where a person sees you only as a platonic friend rather than as a potential partner. It doesn't automatically mean that they feel entitled to sex or a relationship or whatever. You either fancy someone or you don't.

As for it devaluing friendship, that's just dishonest, as is calling it a problem with male ego. Many people just aren't comfortable staying platonic friends with someone that they have feelings for in the same way many people aren't comfrortable having a casual "friends with benefits" type thing with someone they want a relationship with. If that's what you want, then it's good. If not then it's bad. That goes for men and women. Women will leave a guy who doesn't want to commit to them because they don't just want casual sex, they want something more serious - but you wouldn't call that a problem with female ego, that would be silly. The same goes for what you're saying about this.

[Anonymous]

Since I've seen at least three different definitions of the friendzone, the way I've always understood it was that one friend has romantic attraction for another but the other friend doesn't feel the same. In other words just another definition of unrequited love. It doesn't necessarily mean the guy who feels he's in the "friendzone" feels entitled for a relationship or sex with the other friend.

On the flip side guys/girls put theirselves in the friendzone. If your love is unrequited take some space from the friend, if they were a true friend they'd understand this and give you that space. While taking space get over them. If you have no interest in a friendship after the rejection de to awkwardness and whatever else, or because things just changed then leave the friendship.

I'd say make you interests known upfront before getting to know them, but if you happene to fall for a friend later on then you can't techniclaly do that off the bat. So tell the friend when you start to feel interest and if they don't feel the same, take some time and space to get over them, or leave the friendship. You also have the right to say no to a friendship (especially if it's one sided because in a lot of caes the guy would bend ove rbackwards for his female friend but she give literally nothing in return and just uses him. In that case leave because she's not a true friend).

[MrMAC777]

When someone says they got stuck in the friend zone, they are using one phrase to tell the story of their failed attempt at romance and the resulting "unrequited love". So the term exists and the situation exists, accept that fact. If someone doesn't like the offer, they don't have to take it. You should be careful who you chose to be friends with, so I think people should be more selective with who they place in the friend zone as well. If you actually don't want to be their friend, and are just using it as the nice person cop out to reject someone, maybe the person doing the rejecting is the douche bag in the situation? People should just be upfront and honest with their feelings. Saying you should be happy with my friendship is like denying someone a steak dinner and throwing the bone at them after someone else ate it, "friend bone", it is more fitting. I do think that if 2 people started as friends and the offer is to go back to just being friends, that has clearer intentions to me.

[somewheresomeway]

as you should already know many women are good at playing guys on this. They won't tell them straight up their not interested, they crave the attention too much so they'll keep playing them along.

As a former "nice guy" I wised up to this bullshit in my late 20s. I remember some girl called me asking to help drive her car in the middle of the night because she was drunk. This is after I bought her dinner a week before, then she cheeked me for the kiss and didn't respond to my text message a few days later.

I told her tough luck and call an uber. Proud of myself, because a younger me would have chumped up in that situation. Never heard back from her again, nor do I want to.

[Kkaos]

@somewheresomeway That's true. It's insecure and submissive men who allow women to manipulate them in this way. A man's got to take the lead and that way, she has no opportunity to manipulate him. I'll make moves on a girl and if I get any resistance without a valid explanation I'll move on.

[somewheresomeway]

@Kkaos yeah I had to learn the hard way 2 or 3 times. Glad you are figuring this out when you are young. Wish I knew better back then.

[MrMAC777]

@somewheresomeway Glad you saw through her BS! And @Kkhaos is right about the manipulation part. Not true in all cases, but many in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Friend zone and “nice guys” are not synonymous, let’s make that clear. The “nice guys” do use the term a lot, but they aren’t the only ones who use it. Pretty much every guy ranging in different personality styles use the word, even I do. You act like we always use the word negatively, which isn’t always the case. There are girls who I had romantic interest in that put me in the friendzone and I didn’t care because I liked them as a person. There are other times where I’ve been put in the friendzone and it hurt me and it still hurts today. Probably 95% of the girls I hang out with today have put me in the friendzone because I wasn’t physically attractive to them and I didn’t have the body of a Greek god (which I’m working on getting now, still a skinny 135 pound 19 year old). So instead of thinking about it negatively, you should either accept the friendship that she’s offering you or educate and change yourself so that you’re attractive to her. What I’ve learned through my years of being friendzoned is that girls have different tastes in guys, but are all somewhat similar. Conform and adapt.

[Maxemeister]

"People have the right to say no" couldn't agree more. Sad when it happens but it happens
"Male ego creates this bubble called the friendzone" well, it seems more like a societal thing
"You're not entitled" that doesn't mean that the friendzone doesn't exist. The two can be correlated, but not affected. I could think I'm entitled to a girl and then get rejected but she still wants to be friends. I'm in the friendzone. That doesn't negate the friend zone.
"You're immature if you think you're entitled." Agreed, still don't understand how that connects to the friend zone.
"Friendship is a privilege, don't mock it by calling it this horrible place called the friendzone." Uh, that's the entire point of the friendzone. That guy didn't WANT to be friends. He wanted more, but he was put in the friendzone. Downgraded. He wasn't worthy. Sure she's allowed to reject him, and he should accept that, but hell he shouldn't have to LIKE it.

The friendzone is awkward. And it exists. Sure, it's not an ACTUAL thing like gravity is, but as human sociology goes it's about as real as friendships and relationships are. The friendzone exists because it describes a situation where the guy or girl wanted more from the other but the other just wanted to remain friends. None of above stated points negates this. Sure, they take on self-entitled bitches who think they're worth the world, but they don't prove the friendzone doesn't exist.

[RoastedCat]

The biggest issue with the "friend zone" is that there doesn't seem to be a shared perception of what the word means.

Women seem to think that it's a word men use to shame women who don't want to sleep with/date him just because he was friends with her for a long time. The long friendship makes him feel entitled to a chance at becoming her boyfriend.

And guys use it for when a woman is friends with a man who they know have romantic feelings for them since it boosts her self-esteem. Therefore giving the man an illusion of having "a chance" if he just keeps building up a relationship with her.

What's interesting is that the woman is the victim in the female version of the friend zone and the man is the victim in the male version of the friend zone.

[silverqueen]

“Women seem to think that it’s a word men use to shame women who don’t want to sleep with/date him”...

This is exactly what men do. They use this word to shame women who aren’t into them. This is where they misinterpreted that women preferred assholes over “nice” guys. Because these so-called “nice” guys aren’t exactly nice if they expect special treatment for a girl due to them being nice. This means they faked it, they acted a scene, to win brownie points with a girl. It doesn’t mean he’s genuinely nice.

And let me tell you. Guys still don’t seem to understand that “female intuition” is an actual thing, and we can see through their bs.

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen Oh I didn't mean to say that it was an invalid perception. I just can't say for sure as I can only make assumptions based on what I see women write.

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen When I say "women seem to think" I mean "This is how I perceive women seeing this, I can't know for sure since I'm not a woman". Not "women are incorrectly seeing it this way".

[silverqueen]

I understand what you mean now. Thank you for clarifying! :)

[RoastedCat]

On the male version, the dude is a victim. However, the woman isn't a culprit. The guy should understand that you shouldn't be friends with women who you are in love with. He made himself a victim by lacking social skills.

[silverqueen]

these types of guys think that men and women absolutely cannot be friends, as if they were from mars or Venus (old-fashioned, stereotypical belief). As if they were completely different creatures, but this isn’t the case. Friendship stems from trust, and depending on that person so you can tell them your problems (and vice versa).

But lots of men seem to think (and this is where i know they’re wrong) that the only reason why they’d befriend a woman is to date them or sleep with them.

It is sad.

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen Yes, it's true that they don't think men and women can truly be friends. That's why they think it's logical to develop a romantic relationship with a girl by starting it off as a friendship. Since women and men can't be just friends. I used to think this way when I was a young teenager. So that's one thing you can take away from it. It doesn't actually have to be an intricate shame tactic meant to get in your panties. It could also have been a genuine attempt at forming an intimate relationship. It all comes down to differing expectations.

It's up to the guy to end a friendship with a woman who he has a crush on. The woman has literally zero motivation for doing so. In fact, it can be quite enjoyable for a woman to have a male friend who she knows is in love with her.

[silverqueen]

Yes, it could be genuine if they seeked to have a romantic relationship with her. But it becomes cold-hearted and manipulative when it is only to get into her pants.

Plus, even men themselves emphasize on how “he only wants to have sex with you” every time a woman wonders why “X” guy is being so nice to her. Even men are suspicious of other men about their motives. This means that if these very men are suspicious of other men, we too should be, right? Because men understand men better than women.

[silverqueen]

Sought* not seek, lol. My bad

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen Yep, you should absolutely be suspicious. It's more likely that he's an asshole than naive and inexperienced.

[silverqueen]

Are you saying that men usually act all nice to get into her pants? How many men would you say are genuinely nice and how many aren’t (this is obviously your own personal opinion, not a scientific statistic but I would like to know)

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen I think the guys who would try to get into your pants by being friendly (the long con so to speak) are those who aren't desirable enough to get your attention through love at first sight. So their best chance is trying to make you warm up to them through a genuine friendship and maybe then you will develop feelings for them. It's a really dumb thing to do for the guy because I can't imagine it working out often.

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen This includes creeps but also if he's ugly and fat, shy or something like that.

[silverqueen]

Cool. What are the possibilities of an unattractive guy seeking friendship with a girl whom he finds attractive (and only friendship)?

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen Well I mean that's how all his friendships are going to be depending on how ugly he is (the girl is much prettier). So you can't assume it's because he's romantically interested. I'd say judge on a case by case basis. It's very difficult to fake a genuine friendship. And there are ways for you to make a male friend lose romantic interest in you without directly confronting him about it thus maintaining the friendship without any sexual tension. Oh, wait did I literally just discover the friendzone by mistake...

I would personally not try to be friends with a girl just because I think she's hot. It wouldn't be part of the calculation.

[silverqueen]

Okay, I get it. Would you personally be friends with a girl without being romantically involved? Do you think that’s possible for you?

[RoastedCat]

@silverqueen I honestly get along better with girls than with guys. So yes absolutely.

[silverqueen]

Awesome haha, i get along better with guys. But sometimes they confuse the hell out of me haha

[CharlieUnicorn]

"The ego of some men is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them."

If we're going to act disgusting against entire genders, let me throw this one right back:
Sometimes women get piss drunk and make gross and inappropriate attempts to get a guy in bed, but because "the ego of some women is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them." they then act belligerent, smack talks the guy who turned her down and lie about how it's because he couldn't handle a "strong WOMYN" who takes initiative...

[bente2]

I’ve never heard of that happening before, but if that’s what you’ve experienced i understand it is the truth for you.

[CharlieUnicorn]

Sorry, I might've overreacted a bit but it's true.
Being crap at dealing with rejection isn't really a gendered thing. It may come out a bit different depending on gender roles even though it pretty much boils down to the same, because the psychology underneath isn't all that different tbh.

I've encountered it personally a few of times, but ask those guys who for some reason are seen as really hot by a large amount of women, the DJ or the bartender. You are in for some stories! :)

[Anonymous]

Any time I hear a male friend complain about the friendzone with another girl I stop and ask them

" So either you befriended her with the only goal of it developing into something more and are just mad you aren't getting laid, or you don't value her in tour life enough to stay just friends. If the latter, then she's clearly not important enough to you to try and pursue a relationship if you wouldn't be happy in a friendship."

This usually stops them in their tracks. Several times they've agreed that they were behaving immature and really do value having the girl in question in their lives and really are ok with being friends.

"Friend zone"is only used in bad connotation. Those who are ok with just being friends dont cry about the "friend zone"

[bloodmountain1990]

I don’t see why people complain about the so called “friend zone”. It’s better to be someone’s friend than enemy even if they don’t like you romantically.

And just in general, if someone “friend zones” you or rejects you, move onto the next one. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Also, there are advantages of having female friends like the possibility of meeting other women.

[bente2]

Not to forget female friends will make you look really nice if you let them style you, introduce you to someone you are compatible with and see if someone is flirting with you before you do.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yep. I mean I’ve had my struggles with meeting women and dating in general. My female friends don’t have a lot of female friends and I’ve had to use online dating to meet women, which isn’t the best method for either gender, but that is by no means women’s fault.

But there have been times where I’d have past dates remain acquaintances or friends which is way better than having anxiety of running into someone you dated where it ended badly. Trust me.

[Trollslayer0104]

I agree with pretty much everything you've written. It just doesn't address the issue.

"The friendzone" is a useful way of describing the situation where one person wants a romantic/sexual relationship, and the other wants a platonic friendship. From my observation, this is often caused by the pair starting with a platonic friendship, meaning the guy (usually) failed to make his intentions and interest clear early enough. If this doesn't exist, there are a whole lot of people who must be imagining it.

[bente2]

But you see, the issue i have with naming it “the friend zone” is that it sounds as though friendship is not good enough. That’s awful.

[Coconut_Man]

The friendszone isn't real.

If you befriend someone for the sole purpose to get laid or even hoping to enter a romantic relationship at some point in the future. Then you were lying to that person from the start and you were just being a FAKE FRIEND. I'm sure all these men and women who complain about the friendzone wouldn't date/bang everyone who has feelings for them so I don't know why they get butthurt when they get turned down.

If someone only wants to be your friend, accept it or move on with your life.

[Cosytoasty]

Of course the friendzone exists... whether the person views is as good or bad is down to the person.

You're simply approaching it from the positive side. But you simply cannot deny that being her friend is not as "good" as being her friend who loves you, share experiences with, rely on, grow with, talk to, and yes... bang.

When one person likes another romantically, but the other person doesn't, yet the two remain friends... A state of friendzone exists, pure and simple. Again, it can be GOOD OR BAD.

[Onlythisone]

I've found that guys just don't know where to place women in their dominance hierarchies. Women seem more able to call friendship just 'people they spend time with' or whose company they enjoy. Guys seem to need boxes to place things in. You have to be in the mother category or the sister category or the daughter category or the relationship category or the banging that category because they don't know how you fit within the categories they have already developed for their male friends of who is dominant to whom. It's kind of like being a civilian in a war. All the soldier's have their ranks, those that have their backs or are against them... And you are the civilian, all they are concerned with is if you are an asset or a liability, they are defending the perimeter and you are just trying to go about your regular life.

[Jackblue]

With respect Ms. bente2 nothing you said here demonstrates that there is no such thing as a friendzone. You merely claim that men are not handling the idea that women reject them well. I would agree that that is often true, but I still think that regardless of whether one thinks it is a good thing or a bad thing a friendzone exists.

[bente2]

Thank you for the critism.

[Browneye57]

Uh, no, YOU are the one confused about what it is then.
Simply put, a woman that is not sexually attracted to a man but wants to keep him around as a 'friend' has put him in the 'friend zone'. It's simply as that.
And women will keep men around that validate them and do stuff for them - it's all part of their realm. Some guys will hang there thinking if they kiss their ass long enough maybe she'll change her mind and give him some sex. Ain't never gonna happen and thus... the friendzone.
You keep thinking that men are there to serve you - but you don't want to be obligated. Fine.

Women are all about being independent and doing it all themselves, and that's all fine and good, 'till their roof leaks or their car won't run, or their plumbing quits. They they call on a man. :)

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Good relationships don’t just happen over night. They require mutual love, trust and respect. Creating a strong foundation as friends, who share everything, will enhance sexual pleasures at a later time in your union. The act of allowing and acceptance is a beautiful bond in human sexuality. Feeling safe is foreplay. When you know your partner has your back and your best intentions you feel happy.

Ways To Make Love To Your Partner Without Having Sex ↗