The Friendzone Does Not Exist

bente2

Say it louder for the people in the back.

THE FRIENDZONE DOES NOT EXIST.

I will be talking about men mostly in this take, so if you’re easily triggered™️ and will whine saying i’m a misandrist, a feminazi or whatever, please carry on your life in your little bubble.

To explain why it doesn’t exist, I shall first explain the concept of the “friend zone”.

The friend zone is what people call it when a human (often female) purely wants a platonic relationship with another human (often male), but they seek a romantic/sexual relationship.

So why doesn’t it exist? And why is it wrong to use the word? Why do (majorily) men seem to think it exists? A couple of reasons:

The right to say no

Anyone has the right to say no. To have a sexual relationship, both parties must agree or we call it rape. Seems easy right? Yet those that use the term “friend zone” seem unable to comprehend it. Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner. They have the right to do so. Stop making people feel bad for rejecting you. They don’t owe you anything.

Male ego

The ego of some men is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them. That someone might just see them as a friend, rather than as a romantic interest. The friendzone was made to soften this ‘blow’ and make unrequited love seem like it’s somehow the (majorily) girls’ fault. A human didn’t feel the same way you did. Boohoo.

“The nice guy”

Simply put, if you view yourself as a nice guy, you often aren’t. By being nice to someone, you are not entitled to anything. You are not better than someone else, you do not “deserve” any lovin’ because you were nice. If the world worked this way, i’d have to fuck nearly everyone around me. The expectation that being nice gets you ANYTHING, let alone sex, in return, is incompatible with human decency. If you think being nice entitles you to someone elses body, you’re the awful one. And then you complain about “girls don’t date nice guys!” No, girls don’t date you. There’s a difference. You’re the one with underlying victim issues and misogyny.

Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole, makes you an asshole.
— Desireé Dallagiacomo & Justin Lamb - “The Friend Zone”

Immaturity

Another thing people often don’t talk about when on the subject, is how immature someone is when they have these expectations. In my opinion, one can only be considered an adult when they are who they are because they want to, and expect nothing in return.

Devalueing friendship

One of the most toxic things about the friend zone is the fact you devalue a friendship with someone. Being friends with someone should be seen as a privilege rather than a misfortune. And can you imagine the other party? Finding out someone doesn’t value you as a whole person but instad just wants to bone you?

Friendship is something that should make you happy. Not some sort of penalty box.

To sum it all up, the friend zone is a terrible thing to think is real. Just let the rejection go and get over yourself, only to start again. Jeez.

The Friendzone Does Not Exist
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    If only all men were as smart as you and could see the world in your way! What a shame we're a bunch of dumb asses. If you don't appreciate the sarcasm, please carry on your life in your little bubble.
    Is this still revelant?
    • bente2

      This is exactly what i was saying, i’m not a misandrist. I love men, most are awesome. The guys on here though... seem to fail to comprehend basic human interactions.

    • Anonymous

      Your myTake doesn't say that you are talking about guys on G@G, so I thought you were speaking in much more general terms. Most of the guys on this site are not typical of the general population. This site has guys who have the failure-to-launch syndrome, never had a girlfriend, and don't understand women at all. It has guys who had a girlfriend once, they got hurt, and now they're mad at the world and gone MGTOW. It also has players who have no respect for anyone.

      The friend zone does exist. A girl says she sees a guy as a platonic friend only and she will never see him as a romantic interest. Any reasonable person recognizes that we each have the right to make those judgments and accepting rejection is just something that we all must learn to do.

    • bente2

      But you see, the point is, when someone comes to terms with just being friends they wouldn’t say they “are friendzoned”, they would say this is my friend. That’s the issue i have with naming it this way. It makes it sound as though the girl has done something wrong.

      I guess you’re right about gag not representing actual men, because i wouldn’t even be dating then😂. But still, it seems rather important to say what’s on your mind

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Aguamarina
    Yeah it doesn't exist. Some People like to use the "friend zone" as an excuse.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

2262
  • _Enigma_
    The friendzone refers to one person rejecting another and simply wanting to be friends. Hence, the friendzone. This post is basically just more femenazi man hate. It'd be nice for you people to talk about real issues instead of spewing crap like this.
  • ThatPersonOverThere
    I've never seen a post with so much wrong about... man where to start...
    Okay, YOUR OWN DEFINITION of what the friend zone is
    "The friend zone is what people call it when a human (often female) purely wants a platonic relationship with another human (often male), but they seek a romantic/sexual relationship."

    The right to say no - I agree that you have the right to say no, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

    Male ego - The friendzone was not made to "Cushion the blow." If you really think it hurts any less by the virtue of having a common terminology, you are mistaken. Does getting "Dumped" hurt any less because you have a word for it? No, so don't be an idiot. And I wouldn't use the word "Fault" but if the male wants a relationship and the female doesn't, then she is in fact the party responsible for there not being a relationship.

    “The nice guy” - No, being nice doesn't mean you're owed sex, who said otherwise? You know what IS incompatible with human decency? When a guy puts you in the hospital and you reward him with sex, yet that shit happens constantly. At any rate, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

    Immaturity - When you go to work, is it because you want to, or because you're expecting something in return? That's how the world works dear, we all have needs and we're all trying to get them met. Regardless, what the hell does that have to do with the friendzone?

    Devalueing friendship - Holy shit the baseless assumptions you make! Who the hell said that they don't value you as a person? Who the hell said that wanting sex with somebody is devaluing the existing friendship? Friendship without being able to have sex with the person you want to < Friendship with being able to have sex with the person you want to. That's just mathematically true. Just because people would rather have Y, doesn't mean that X loses its objective value. And yeah, it's such a fucking privilege to spend time with a woman who doesn't value you enough to give a relationship a fair chance. If you really can't even give him ONE date to see how things go, are YOU really HIS friend?

    Your entire argument boils down to "The friendzone isn't real, the evidence is these unrelated things based on my flawed assumptions of what guys are really thinking. Also I find the notion of the friendzone to be offensive, therefore it doesn't exist." If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of guys find the friendzone offensive as well...
    • bente2

      She might be the one that doesn’t want a relationship but it is her right to do so. And then guys go and say “aw i got friendzoned so hard” like it’s her fault. No, she didn’t want a relationship with you. It’s no one’s fault.

      Just thinking sex is a reward in general is hella creepy?

      Inaccurate comparison.

      What the fuuuuck, dude, you’re pathetic.

    • Again, nobody even remotely claimed that she didn't have the right to not want a relationship. I seriously don't know who is telling you otherwise. Again, it's not "Fault" but she would be the party responsible if she's the one preventing it.

      Sex isn't always a reward, but it can be. What would you call it when a guy beats a woman so bad she winds up in the hospital, yet she continues having sex with him? To the rest of us, it looks like women habitually reward guy's shit behavior with sex. And if you'd STOP having sex with men who beat you, men would STOP beating women. They do it because you fools let them get away with it and reward them for doing so.

      Inaccurate comparison on what? The point still stands that your "Evidence that the friendzone doesn't exist" is complete bullshit.

      You're the one getting bent out of shape that people have given a term to a universally recognized concept, and then going off the handle based off of your idiotic assumptions.

  • Quintessence
    That last point--yes, yes, a hundred times yes!

    I've always hated the word "friendzone" for that very reason. It doesn't just devalue the meaning of friendship; it goes completely against what friendship actually entails.

    Friendship, by definition, is based on MUTUAL affection, respect, trust, loyalty, and all that nice stuff. The "friendzone", on the other hand, IS NOT. It's not a mutual bond. It refers to a situation wherein Party A has rejected Party B, and Party B--being the altruistic, amazing character that they are--have settled for the next best thing: a platonic relationship.

    That's just wrong. That's NOT friendship. The word "friend" does not belong in the description of that situation.
    Call it unrequited love. Call it a one-sided, unfulfilled romance. Call it an acquaintanceship. Call it a rejection. But do NOT call it friendship.

    Maybe it's just me, but I believe that friendship ought to be sacred. If I call you my friend, it means I would take a bullet for you. It means I care for, admire, and trust you. And if you're truly my friend, you will feel the same way about me. Anything less than that is not friendship in my books.
  • bloodmountain1990
    I don’t see why people complain about the so called “friend zone”. It’s better to be someone’s friend than enemy even if they don’t like you romantically.

    And just in general, if someone “friend zones” you or rejects you, move onto the next one. Plenty of fish in the sea.

    Also, there are advantages of having female friends like the possibility of meeting other women.
    • bente2

      Not to forget female friends will make you look really nice if you let them style you, introduce you to someone you are compatible with and see if someone is flirting with you before you do.

    • Yep. I mean I’ve had my struggles with meeting women and dating in general. My female friends don’t have a lot of female friends and I’ve had to use online dating to meet women, which isn’t the best method for either gender, but that is by no means women’s fault.

      But there have been times where I’d have past dates remain acquaintances or friends which is way better than having anxiety of running into someone you dated where it ended badly. Trust me.

  • NJ_Casanova
    Too Long to read.

    Yes it exist... for guys and Girls.

    I've had female friends that I later found out had crushes on me.

    9 out of EVERY straight guy friend a girl has is a guy that wants to have sex with her... but she only wants to be a friend.

    • bente2

      Don’t read? Don’t comment. Lazy bum.

  • Jackblue
    With respect Ms. bente2 nothing you said here demonstrates that there is no such thing as a friendzone. You merely claim that men are not handling the idea that women reject them well. I would agree that that is often true, but I still think that regardless of whether one thinks it is a good thing or a bad thing a friendzone exists.
    • bente2

      Thank you for the critism.

  • englisc
    I think you're reading way too much into it. The friend-zone is just a term to describe the situation where a person sees you only as a platonic friend rather than as a potential partner. It doesn't automatically mean that they feel entitled to sex or a relationship or whatever. You either fancy someone or you don't.

    As for it devaluing friendship, that's just dishonest, as is calling it a problem with male ego. Many people just aren't comfortable staying platonic friends with someone that they have feelings for in the same way many people aren't comfrortable having a casual "friends with benefits" type thing with someone they want a relationship with. If that's what you want, then it's good. If not then it's bad. That goes for men and women. Women will leave a guy who doesn't want to commit to them because they don't just want casual sex, they want something more serious - but you wouldn't call that a problem with female ego, that would be silly. The same goes for what you're saying about this.
  • MrMAC777
    When someone says they got stuck in the friend zone, they are using one phrase to tell the story of their failed attempt at romance and the resulting "unrequited love". So the term exists and the situation exists, accept that fact. If someone doesn't like the offer, they don't have to take it. You should be careful who you chose to be friends with, so I think people should be more selective with who they place in the friend zone as well. If you actually don't want to be their friend, and are just using it as the nice person cop out to reject someone, maybe the person doing the rejecting is the douche bag in the situation? People should just be upfront and honest with their feelings. Saying you should be happy with my friendship is like denying someone a steak dinner and throwing the bone at them after someone else ate it, "friend bone", it is more fitting. I do think that if 2 people started as friends and the offer is to go back to just being friends, that has clearer intentions to me.
    • as you should already know many women are good at playing guys on this. They won't tell them straight up their not interested, they crave the attention too much so they'll keep playing them along.

      As a former "nice guy" I wised up to this bullshit in my late 20s. I remember some girl called me asking to help drive her car in the middle of the night because she was drunk. This is after I bought her dinner a week before, then she cheeked me for the kiss and didn't respond to my text message a few days later.

      I told her tough luck and call an uber. Proud of myself, because a younger me would have chumped up in that situation. Never heard back from her again, nor do I want to.

    • Kkaos

      @somewheresomeway That's true. It's insecure and submissive men who allow women to manipulate them in this way. A man's got to take the lead and that way, she has no opportunity to manipulate him. I'll make moves on a girl and if I get any resistance without a valid explanation I'll move on.

    • @Kkaos yeah I had to learn the hard way 2 or 3 times. Glad you are figuring this out when you are young. Wish I knew better back then.

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  • molonski2
    Oh it exists alright , and just steer clear of it coz it never ends correctly and causes massive drama.

    If someone breaks up with you , they say " Ohhh , look I just want to be friends " , always tell them .." I hand select my friends , you are no longer one of them " , because it never happens anyhow.

    For guys , never be seen as " safe " , and never ever put yourself in a " friend " zone , unless its someone you are not remotely interested in.

    That's how men feel.. fact.
  • Krumpir
    This makes no sense... Friendzone is not just a rejection. Friendzone is "I like you too, but only as a friend"... You see, that as a friend makes a friendzone. Not being nice or treating person like a majesty. That "friend"-ly kick in the balls is what makes a froendzone real.
    • bente2

      No, that’s what we call unrequited love or a one sided crush. It’s rejection. It’s not placing someone in the category “i wanted to fuck you and you placed me in the terrible friend box!”

    • Krumpir

      There is difference between I want to fuck you and I really like you.

  • JSmuve
    The friendzone is just a state of mind. Its how one frames their situation. Some people might get down on themselves for being rejected. Others might get excited for making a new friend. Doesn't change the fact that its the same situation, just viewed differently.
  • ... Until the gorgeous and truly amazing man, that you are Oh so dearly obsessed about puts you into the Friend zone, you suddenly may very likely rethink what you wrote.
    • its not like that. we are mature enough to understand and accept that he may not like me. he doesn't owe me anything.
      bdw i am talking from experience. please grow up and change ur perspective.

    • Unit1

      @IndianGirl01 please leave me be 🤚. Thanks.

    • snowangle

      You're acting like girls never get rejected lol.

      I've been rejected before. I still understood his right to reject me and recognized my choice to either stay friends or cut contact. I usually stayed friends with the guy, because I could always use more guy friends! I would only consider cutting contact if it was too painful (NOT out of spite).

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  • snowangle
    I read recently that this happens so often because guys generally don't rely on platonic friendships for emotional support; they rely on romantic relationships for that. That's why we always hear "she wants to USE me for emotional support while she SLEEPS with someone else." Uh no, she's acting like you're her friend!

    Anyway, I dunno how true it is but it definitely seems to match up.
    • guys do rely on platonic friendships for emotional support AFTER WE KNOW THE PERSON FOR A FEW YEARS not people we just fkn met a few weeks or months ago. For anyone to do that regardless of gender is naive.

    • the only time we rely on women for emotional support and vice versa is in a romantic situation though yeah that's the mistake girls will make. They will rely on a man for emotional support once they've friendzoned him and wonder why it's not there anymore. It's because men reserve that for one women only, if they are good and honest men. You are pretty much correct though this is happening to me right now and I don't know how to tell her "you said you wanted to be friends, you are dating someone else, I cannot be used for these purposes" LOL I'm too nice...

    • snowangle

      @Goochbreaker But she's not using you. If you agreed to be friends, then it's reasonable for her to expect emotional support to some extent. It's totally understandable if that's too painful for you, and it's okay for you to tell her that, but it's not wrong of her to treat you like a friend if that was the agreement.

      As for your other comment, I disagree. Friends can develop quickly. I don't have much experience watching guys' friendships form, but girls can bond within days or weeks. I don't think you have to wait several years before you start sharing personal feelings at all.

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  • Leafpool2
    Bless. The friendzone doesn't exist guys are just too pathetic to tell girls "hey I wanna date you" and expect us to read their minds and get mad when we don't. And you accuse us of mind games, as fucking if.

    • Let's face it, the people in the "friendzone" are the ones that are not even technically considered your friend, it's more of an acquaintance zone than a friend zone; the girl or guy in the back that can't stop staring at you weirdly, those are the people in the "friendzone".

    • Leafpool2

      @TheUglyMonk Over the years I can name 8 different men I thought were my friends who it turns out only ever wanted to fuck me. When I was 16 I made a friend at my high school, we had common interests so I hung with him a lot and we talked about all kinds of stuff and I liked talking to him because! We were friends! I had thought that anyway. I invited him to my house at some point and he asked why I wouldn't fuck him and I was like "uh, you never said you were interested and im gay?" and he outright said he'd only been talking to me all that time because he wanted to fuck me. That was it. I'd thought he valued my company the way I valued his but nope. After that he was super mean to me the entire year but I changed schools (unrelated, it had been the plan well before this went down) so whatever.

    • Leafpool2

      When I was 13 same thing, I was playing card games with a guy in the same activity as me at summer camp one day, we started talking and I thought he was funny and liked hearing his impressions. I would find him during store (our activity break/social hour at night) and we'd talk about the activities we weren't in together or the creepy art on the doors to one of the cabins. At the end of camp he demanded I be his long distance girlfriend and I said I didn't like him like that I had just liked being his friend and I don't understand why that was so bad. He spent like five minutes yelling at me for wasting his time. I'd gone up to him to get his e-mail so we could talk more because, I had thought we were friends, and wanted to keep in contact.

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  • TwinCKI
    I don't know why people make things so complicated. Either you are sexually attracted to a person or you aren't. It's kind of like a switch and people just to have to live up to the reality that not everyone is going to find them attractive
  • r4ngeF
    ok, lets do this:
    sometimes "friend zones" are just a mere way of men to enjoy all worlds. (mostly men's)
    it is well known that women are having much harder time dissociating feelings from sexual desires, and so it helps men manipulating the and squeeze them until they dry out.
    i also think that men could see much more reasons to be "only" friends with someone, since most of the times its women who are struggling and being afraid to talk about their feelings (else, you cannot explain the urge of willing to enter to a twilight zone such as "friendzone") which is rather weird, since women are those who are better at expressing themselves.
    the only thing im pretty sure of about friend zones, that it is always a "level" to reach, in order for you to reach other "levels" in which you may exploit everyone.

    i am a cynical person. i do not believe in people's pure honesty. i dont always think its that bad, but i still believe that there's always a concealed emotion or a concealed interest behind people's intentions.
    it may not always be a "bad interest" since some of us could really absorb pleasure and enjoyment from the idea of helping anyone, but lets face it, its still an interest. so some are bad, and some are less bad.

    once you've reached the conception of "how to use it for your own purposes"...
    there's actually absolutely no limit in what you may cause or make people do.
    friend zone is that zone where people will feel obligated to you, just cause they trust you the most, and too blind to see that they - as well - have that power, but they are not selfish enough to use it.

    in the end, i must stay reluctant, and admit that i've seen in life cases that really amazed me. some people did have the mental strength to be in such a relationship and keep it platonic.
    it is true, i dont think it will end right between them, but i cannot say I've never seen a beautiful relationship like those before.

    to be honest, we all talk from our own private island.
    there's a saying in hebrew: "a man shouts that he lacks"
    and in some point, everything we say or do (even here on gag), is a derivative of our own needs and urges, thus, all of what we express here, is sort of a huge snow ball of "projection", and this is why i will always not think that im perfectly right. there are some slight chances that im wrong, and eventually my perspective is just a twisted one, processed in a mind that is too cynical to withstand the idea of good people.
    people that are utterly not me.
  • BrittBratt2416
    Sorry but it exists, just cause you can reject being friends doesn't mean that person hasn't put you there or just sees you as a friend. If someone only sees you as a friend, then your friendzoned. Yes some girls use at a shitty excuse to reject a guy and never talk to them again but then you do have girls who have been friends with a guy for so long that they just want to keep it that way cause there's no romantic feelings.
  • OfDeath
    Lol ok so being nice is bad.

    Just one small thing: when the girl just wants a friend and the man wants sex and she won't give him a chance, that is the friend zone. It exists and is clearly defined.

    Now you are correct that the friendzone doesn't exist because that's not a real word. It's two words FRIEND space ZONE.

    Go back to school for more English lessons young lady.
    • bente2

      No, the thing about the friend zone is that the guys are purposefully ACTING, not being, nice to get in someone’s pants.

      What you just described is unrequited love. Plain and simple. It hurts, get over it instead of trying to shame women into thinking they’ve done you wrong.

    • OfDeath

      Hello? Unrequited love and the friend zone are the same thing. Haven't you ever heard of slang?
      Another English lesson.

      As far as being nice goes. EVERY guy tries to be nice to get with a girl. That's what you do. That's not restricted to one context.

    • bente2

      You’re not getting the point, BEING nice is not the same as ACTING nice. Thinking “oh.. will like this, maybe i should do...” is not the same as “i will score points if i do... maybe she’ll fuck me.”

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  • SarahsSummer
    I disagree. The “friend-zone”, for lack of a better term IS real. How people deal with it is the problem.
  • Joelski440
    I disagree, This mytake is well written A little heavy on the male bashing.
    I love my female friends, i'm all for male/female platonic friendships. I've been friendzoned & I have friendzoned, no one is entitled to anyone or anything. when there's a member of the "friendship" that's suffering because they feel slighted because of unrequited love that's no longer ok.
  • l33tboot3r
    I beg to differ. It most definitely exists. It is created upon A) rejection B) after a breakup or C) when you are close to a girl in a non-romantic way. Any of us guys (and I think girls too) have been put in the friend zone. It happens and it exists. It's fine for a guy and a girl to be just friends. And that's not a friend zone. However, when any of the examples I first established in the time when romance is in the equation then yes. The friend zone is a thing.
  • The_Upside
    Friend zone to me is someone not interested in you romantically or they friend zone you so you are a back up plan if there other interest doesn't work out
  • Kawaiigurl1234
    The friend zone exist. Yes everyone has the right to say no. However, the definition remains. Now, that doesn’t give one the green light to be an asshole because you got friendzoned.
  • Eyes_On_Me
    "Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner." Yeah you just explained what the friend zone is. It doesn't matter whether you view it as a positive or negative thing. I just see it as you described it: when someone is rejected because the other person wants to stay friends with him/her. That's not wrong, but the friend zone does exist. I do agree with you on the points where people use the friend zone as an excuse to hate on people or be bitter.
  • VegetaSSB
    yes it does exist, when a man does devellop romantic feelings for a woman and she cannot correspond to it, it happens more commonly with guys that are socially awkward or are just so plain that the first girl to ever give him a slight bit of attention will seeem like the woman of his life, and he is not at fault for thinking so after laking any positive reaction of the opposite sex during life, and to make things worse there is the fucking overvaluing of romantic relationships nowadays that will add to the mix and for sure the socially awkward guy will find himself falling in love in the first positive reaction of approach he even gets, it is the sad truth about it.
    • bente2

      No, that’s just called unrequited love.

    • VegetaSSB

      two terms meaning the same thing, friendzone from male perspective because it doesn´t gurt your way but our way.

  • HungLikeAHorsefly
    Every time I think I catch a glimpse of the dreaded "Friend Zone", it turns out to be something else. Like the Bone Zone or the Love Zone or the I'm-A-Bad-Friend-And-A-Needy-Little-Bitch Zone.

    I'm starting to think the Friend Zone doesn't even exist.
  • CharlieUnicorn
    "The ego of some men is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them."

    If we're going to act disgusting against entire genders, let me throw this one right back:
    Sometimes women get piss drunk and make gross and inappropriate attempts to get a guy in bed, but because "the ego of some women is so fragile that it simply cannot get over the fact someone might reject them." they then act belligerent, smack talks the guy who turned her down and lie about how it's because he couldn't handle a "strong WOMYN" who takes initiative...

    • bente2

      I’ve never heard of that happening before, but if that’s what you’ve experienced i understand it is the truth for you.

    • Sorry, I might've overreacted a bit but it's true.
      Being crap at dealing with rejection isn't really a gendered thing. It may come out a bit different depending on gender roles even though it pretty much boils down to the same, because the psychology underneath isn't all that different tbh.

      I've encountered it personally a few of times, but ask those guys who for some reason are seen as really hot by a large amount of women, the DJ or the bartender. You are in for some stories! :)

  • Maxemeister
    "People have the right to say no" couldn't agree more. Sad when it happens but it happens
    "Male ego creates this bubble called the friendzone" well, it seems more like a societal thing
    "You're not entitled" that doesn't mean that the friendzone doesn't exist. The two can be correlated, but not affected. I could think I'm entitled to a girl and then get rejected but she still wants to be friends. I'm in the friendzone. That doesn't negate the friend zone.
    "You're immature if you think you're entitled." Agreed, still don't understand how that connects to the friend zone.
    "Friendship is a privilege, don't mock it by calling it this horrible place called the friendzone." Uh, that's the entire point of the friendzone. That guy didn't WANT to be friends. He wanted more, but he was put in the friendzone. Downgraded. He wasn't worthy. Sure she's allowed to reject him, and he should accept that, but hell he shouldn't have to LIKE it.

    The friendzone is awkward. And it exists. Sure, it's not an ACTUAL thing like gravity is, but as human sociology goes it's about as real as friendships and relationships are. The friendzone exists because it describes a situation where the guy or girl wanted more from the other but the other just wanted to remain friends. None of above stated points negates this. Sure, they take on self-entitled bitches who think they're worth the world, but they don't prove the friendzone doesn't exist.
  • Wickenden
    Being friends with someone is the most important part of a healthy relationship. If you don't connect on any level other than attraction then you're just using someone for their vagina or penis. And sex is always better when you have a connection.
  • NerdInDenial
    This is why many men recommend to other men to not be friends with women. Theres’s No point.
    • bente2

      If you see no point in a friendship because of gender you’re fucking retarded.

    • For most men, the reason why they are friends with women is because they’re hoping to fuck them. Now, watch your fucking mouth.

    • My twat is fucking ugly and I hate it

  • RationalMale
    Sexism against women does not exist. Say it louder for the people in the back!

    See how retarded that sounds? That's exactly how you sound right now.
  • castratedwhiteguy
    Wrong! The friendzone happens when a guy and girl of the same class (i. e., looks, intelligence, social status, income status, etc.,) get get on together and start communicating intimately. At this point the guy rightfully thinks that he's finally found the right girl and he falls in love with her. However, the girl thinks that she deserves better than to have to settle for this pathetic loser. So, as a result, she puts the guy she knows into her friendzone while still hoping to find her fantasy stud who is way out of her league. This is how decent guys get put into the friendzone, and this is why they get pissed off about it.
    • You guys love playing the victim!

      Tbh if you have feelings like that towards a girl and have that kind of a mindset, then yes that girl deserves someone better than an asshole like you.

    • @CubsterShura At 16 years old, you have no clue about how the dating world really works. FYI, the flip side to my argument is that I have also put many girls into my friendzone over the years and for various reasons. I've never said that a person doesn't have the right to choose. I'm just saying that many women hold out for an unrealistic fantasy stud when a decent guy is right there in her social circle. Maybe you should get some life experience before making an ass of yourself again on a public message board.

    • bente2

      So you’re saying women should settle while also insulting a 16 yo. Yeah, you seem like a real catch.

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  • Browneye57
    Uh, no, YOU are the one confused about what it is then.
    Simply put, a woman that is not sexually attracted to a man but wants to keep him around as a 'friend' has put him in the 'friend zone'. It's simply as that.
    And women will keep men around that validate them and do stuff for them - it's all part of their realm. Some guys will hang there thinking if they kiss their ass long enough maybe she'll change her mind and give him some sex. Ain't never gonna happen and thus... the friendzone.
    You keep thinking that men are there to serve you - but you don't want to be obligated. Fine.

    Women are all about being independent and doing it all themselves, and that's all fine and good, 'till their roof leaks or their car won't run, or their plumbing quits. They they call on a man. :)
  • 2opaz
    so you're telling me the friendzone does not exist?
    • I think you have to read the whole myTake to understand what she means.

    • 2opaz

      @silverqueen i did

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  • coachTanthony
  • Lonerguy1234
    I don't mind the friendzone as long as the friendship does not entail her asking too many favors or if I wanna hang out me having to pay , only met one girl who went we hang out pays for her shit.
  • Trollslayer0104
    I agree with pretty much everything you've written. It just doesn't address the issue.

    "The friendzone" is a useful way of describing the situation where one person wants a romantic/sexual relationship, and the other wants a platonic friendship. From my observation, this is often caused by the pair starting with a platonic friendship, meaning the guy (usually) failed to make his intentions and interest clear early enough. If this doesn't exist, there are a whole lot of people who must be imagining it.
    • bente2

      But you see, the issue i have with naming it “the friend zone” is that it sounds as though friendship is not good enough. That’s awful.

  • RoastedCat
    The biggest issue with the "friend zone" is that there doesn't seem to be a shared perception of what the word means.

    Women seem to think that it's a word men use to shame women who don't want to sleep with/date him just because he was friends with her for a long time. The long friendship makes him feel entitled to a chance at becoming her boyfriend.

    And guys use it for when a woman is friends with a man who they know have romantic feelings for them since it boosts her self-esteem. Therefore giving the man an illusion of having "a chance" if he just keeps building up a relationship with her.

    What's interesting is that the woman is the victim in the female version of the friend zone and the man is the victim in the male version of the friend zone.
    • “Women seem to think that it’s a word men use to shame women who don’t want to sleep with/date him”...

      This is exactly what men do. They use this word to shame women who aren’t into them. This is where they misinterpreted that women preferred assholes over “nice” guys. Because these so-called “nice” guys aren’t exactly nice if they expect special treatment for a girl due to them being nice. This means they faked it, they acted a scene, to win brownie points with a girl. It doesn’t mean he’s genuinely nice.

      And let me tell you. Guys still don’t seem to understand that “female intuition” is an actual thing, and we can see through their bs.

    • RoastedCat

      @silverqueen Oh I didn't mean to say that it was an invalid perception. I just can't say for sure as I can only make assumptions based on what I see women write.

    • RoastedCat

      @silverqueen When I say "women seem to think" I mean "This is how I perceive women seeing this, I can't know for sure since I'm not a woman". Not "women are incorrectly seeing it this way".

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  • AlwaysBelieving
    Good take. I agree. I'm trying to write something along these lines as a mytake. Now if I could just sit down and write it all at once.
  • zzzondarrr
    Good points, but they don't mean friendzone doesn't exist, but rather that you have no moral rights to blame the person for it.
  • classicslayer
    How many times are people going to make the same post?
    • bente2

      As many times as needed to make someone understand.

    • _Enigma_

      @bente2 So you are going to keep talking about the lies and rubbish until people just give up trying to show you're wrong and just accept it? Do you have nothing better to do? Like, I dunno, misogyny in the middle east? How SJWs oppress white men and force companies to hire people in favour of diversity rather than people who are actually good for the job? How about talking about some real issues instead of whether or not "the friendzone" exists and how it's an awful thing created by men? I would actually like to see you or someone like you try and talk about a real issue for once.

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  • Cosytoasty
    Of course the friendzone exists... whether the person views is as good or bad is down to the person.

    You're simply approaching it from the positive side. But you simply cannot deny that being her friend is not as "good" as being her friend who loves you, share experiences with, rely on, grow with, talk to, and yes... bang.

    When one person likes another romantically, but the other person doesn't, yet the two remain friends... A state of friendzone exists, pure and simple. Again, it can be GOOD OR BAD.
  • Juxtapose
    I agree. The "friendzone" concept is pretty odd.

    And same to anyone who didn't take time to read it but still commented anyway.
  • Being_a_good_Indian
    Good relationships don’t just happen over night. They require mutual love, trust and respect. Creating a strong foundation as friends, who share everything, will enhance sexual pleasures at a later time in your union. The act of allowing and acceptance is a beautiful bond in human sexuality. Feeling safe is foreplay. When you know your partner has your back and your best intentions you feel happy.

    Ways To Make Love To Your Partner Without Having Sex ↗
  • SweedyPie
    Damn girl. Hit the ball outta the park here... Will seem harsh to some but hey, not everyone can handle the truth lol... Good job! High five ;)
    • AmirTScott

      male perspective : she is using me for gifts and attention, I tried to be the man women CLAIM to want by taking it slow and showing i value more than p**sy.

      Female perspective: if the possibility of getting used is that despairing to you why do you start/sustain platonic relationships with women you want as your own.

      I think the irony in all this is that 99 percent of friend zones are the guy chasing the girls while 99 percent of those who complain about the friend zone are men, so about 100% of the "dreaded" cases of merely having a friendship where your genitals weren't involved were initiated and kept alive by the same ones who complain about it.
      This is not to turn my back on my fellow male by saying rejection in this matter isn't supposed to suck. It does. It's the same "no" that men are used to, but over the course of months. its simply to ask "why tether yourself to a car that MAY go the way you like and then be too much of a wimp to cut the rope
      and THEN blame the driver.

  • Onlythisone
    I've found that guys just don't know where to place women in their dominance hierarchies. Women seem more able to call friendship just 'people they spend time with' or whose company they enjoy. Guys seem to need boxes to place things in. You have to be in the mother category or the sister category or the daughter category or the relationship category or the banging that category because they don't know how you fit within the categories they have already developed for their male friends of who is dominant to whom. It's kind of like being a civilian in a war. All the soldier's have their ranks, those that have their backs or are against them... And you are the civilian, all they are concerned with is if you are an asset or a liability, they are defending the perimeter and you are just trying to go about your regular life.
  • TyGribble
    I think the friend zone is real. I know what its like to be their. It serves simply as a way to categorize your relationship with a girl you like
  • Coconut_Man
    The friendszone isn't real.

    If you befriend someone for the sole purpose to get laid or even hoping to enter a romantic relationship at some point in the future. Then you were lying to that person from the start and you were just being a FAKE FRIEND. I'm sure all these men and women who complain about the friendzone wouldn't date/bang everyone who has feelings for them so I don't know why they get butthurt when they get turned down.

    If someone only wants to be your friend, accept it or move on with your life.
  • PetrovaFire92
    No my friend the friend zone is very real.. real indeed..
  • jacquesvol
    If you don't romance an opposite sex friend, the friend zone is automatically self creating.
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