The friendzone is just a state of mind. Its how one frames their situation. Some people might get down on themselves for being rejected. Others might get excited for making a new friend. Doesn't change the fact that its the same situation, just viewed differently.
I read recently that this happens so often because guys generally don't rely on platonic friendships for emotional support; they rely on romantic relationships for that. That's why we always hear "she wants to USE me for emotional support while she SLEEPS with someone else." Uh no, she's acting like you're her friend!
Anyway, I dunno how true it is but it definitely seems to match up.
guys do rely on platonic friendships for emotional support AFTER WE KNOW THE PERSON FOR A FEW YEARS not people we just fkn met a few weeks or months ago. For anyone to do that regardless of gender is naive.
the only time we rely on women for emotional support and vice versa is in a romantic situation though yeah that's the mistake girls will make. They will rely on a man for emotional support once they've friendzoned him and wonder why it's not there anymore. It's because men reserve that for one women only, if they are good and honest men. You are pretty much correct though this is happening to me right now and I don't know how to tell her "you said you wanted to be friends, you are dating someone else, I cannot be used for these purposes" LOL I'm too nice...
@Goochbreaker But she's not using you. If you agreed to be friends, then it's reasonable for her to expect emotional support to some extent. It's totally understandable if that's too painful for you, and it's okay for you to tell her that, but it's not wrong of her to treat you like a friend if that was the agreement.
As for your other comment, I disagree. Friends can develop quickly. I don't have much experience watching guys' friendships form, but girls can bond within days or weeks. I don't think you have to wait several years before you start sharing personal feelings at all.
friendships can develop quickly but you shouldn't trust someone to handle your emotional baggage if you've just met them. You are clearly a woman responding as you did LOL because no, you girls do not get to use guys for emotional support unless A) you have known them for years and are OLD friends or B) you are dating them or married to them. Those are the options and this is how 99% of guys see it. Maybe less these days with the whole cuck fetish haha
and I worded my shit wrong the first time, I have told her exactly how I feel, multiple times in multiple ways, she just keeps texting me everyday and has serious emotional baggage with her father and stuff it's really heavy
I think the "friend-zone" is just one of those things people bitch about. I know women who bitch about the friend-zone too. I don't think the friend-zone sucks because the person rejected you, I think the friend-zone sucks, because in the majority of cases, it's kind of a cop-out.
In most cases, no one plans to be friends after shit goes down and someone gets their feelings hurt. This is just the rejector being (understandably) cautious, and offering their "friendship" as a pity-present even though they have no intention of actually being the other's friend.
The other person gets upset because they're getting pitied, and they know it (when they should have just said, "That's ok, I have enough friends...", which is what the person offering "friendship" wanted them to do in the first place). But now both of them feel obligated to be friends, even though it's terribly awkward and one wants to fuck the other, because neither could be the grown-up and rip the band-aid off.
In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person. This can happen to ANYONE (Who the hell cares about gender? This can happen to homosexuals, too. Not only straight people want to find love). In other words, not wanting to be more than just friends with someone that has feelings for you that are beyond friendship. If your friends with someone for the only reason of trying to change their mind to make them love you, then you are doing it wrong. Having friends in a privilege and just because they are not interested doesn't mean they might not know someone that is.
I disagree, This mytake is well written A little heavy on the male bashing. I love my female friends, i'm all for male/female platonic friendships. I've been friendzoned & I have friendzoned, no one is entitled to anyone or anything. when there's a member of the "friendship" that's suffering because they feel slighted because of unrequited love that's no longer ok.
The friendzone refers to one person rejecting another and simply wanting to be friends. Hence, the friendzone. This post is basically just more femenazi man hate. It'd be nice for you people to talk about real issues instead of spewing crap like this.
The friend zone does exist. The reason guys end up in the friendzone is because they are too chicken to just go up and ask the girl out.
Guys think that being her friend long enough and showing off his "amazing" personality that she will eventually fall for him and want to date him. This is all rooted with men's misguided belief that women value personality more so than physical looks. When the reality is women are just as visual as men.
If men would just be direct and ask a girl out right off the bat rather than hanging around her for months/years, hoping she will warm up to him then the friend zone would never happen.
In addition, if a girl rejects you but you still hold onto the delusion that she will come around and like you at a later date then it is your fault for being taken advantage of.
Time for men to have some accountability for their actions. You are only friendzone if you allow yourself to be friendzoned.
Oh it exists alright , and just steer clear of it coz it never ends correctly and causes massive drama.
If someone breaks up with you , they say " Ohhh , look I just want to be friends " , always tell them .." I hand select my friends , you are no longer one of them " , because it never happens anyhow.
For guys , never be seen as " safe " , and never ever put yourself in a " friend " zone , unless its someone you are not remotely interested in.
Bless. The friendzone doesn't exist guys are just too pathetic to tell girls "hey I wanna date you" and expect us to read their minds and get mad when we don't. And you accuse us of mind games, as fucking if.
Let's face it, the people in the "friendzone" are the ones that are not even technically considered your friend, it's more of an acquaintance zone than a friend zone; the girl or guy in the back that can't stop staring at you weirdly, those are the people in the "friendzone".
@TheUglyMonk Over the years I can name 8 different men I thought were my friends who it turns out only ever wanted to fuck me. When I was 16 I made a friend at my high school, we had common interests so I hung with him a lot and we talked about all kinds of stuff and I liked talking to him because! We were friends! I had thought that anyway. I invited him to my house at some point and he asked why I wouldn't fuck him and I was like "uh, you never said you were interested and im gay?" and he outright said he'd only been talking to me all that time because he wanted to fuck me. That was it. I'd thought he valued my company the way I valued his but nope. After that he was super mean to me the entire year but I changed schools (unrelated, it had been the plan well before this went down) so whatever.
When I was 13 same thing, I was playing card games with a guy in the same activity as me at summer camp one day, we started talking and I thought he was funny and liked hearing his impressions. I would find him during store (our activity break/social hour at night) and we'd talk about the activities we weren't in together or the creepy art on the doors to one of the cabins. At the end of camp he demanded I be his long distance girlfriend and I said I didn't like him like that I had just liked being his friend and I don't understand why that was so bad. He spent like five minutes yelling at me for wasting his time. I'd gone up to him to get his e-mail so we could talk more because, I had thought we were friends, and wanted to keep in contact.
Shut the fuck up with your woe is me bullshit, maybe don't girlfriendzone every woman you meet for your own self-serving shit.
I actually did care about them and it hurt me a lot they only wanted me for some kinda fuck trophy or whatever. Having friends is hardly the highest form of torture imaginable.
I don't know why people make things so complicated. Either you are sexually attracted to a person or you aren't. It's kind of like a switch and people just to have to live up to the reality that not everyone is going to find them attractive
yes it does exist, when a man does devellop romantic feelings for a woman and she cannot correspond to it, it happens more commonly with guys that are socially awkward or are just so plain that the first girl to ever give him a slight bit of attention will seeem like the woman of his life, and he is not at fault for thinking so after laking any positive reaction of the opposite sex during life, and to make things worse there is the fucking overvaluing of romantic relationships nowadays that will add to the mix and for sure the socially awkward guy will find himself falling in love in the first positive reaction of approach he even gets, it is the sad truth about it.
Every time I think I catch a glimpse of the dreaded "Friend Zone", it turns out to be something else. Like the Bone Zone or the Love Zone or the I'm-A-Bad-Friend-And-A-Needy-Little-Bitch Zone.
I'm starting to think the Friend Zone doesn't even exist.
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I'll say the friend zone is real in the sense of SOME women use men who like her and put them in a box to use when they see fit, and in the meantime will manipulate those men to getting something out of them while they fuck other dudes. That's not the same as the women who simply say no and only be friends.
I beg to differ. It most definitely exists. It is created upon A) rejection B) after a breakup or C) when you are close to a girl in a non-romantic way. Any of us guys (and I think girls too) have been put in the friend zone. It happens and it exists. It's fine for a guy and a girl to be just friends. And that's not a friend zone. However, when any of the examples I first established in the time when romance is in the equation then yes. The friend zone is a thing.
Being friends with someone is the most important part of a healthy relationship. If you don't connect on any level other than attraction then you're just using someone for their vagina or penis. And sex is always better when you have a connection.
Sorry but it exists, just cause you can reject being friends doesn't mean that person hasn't put you there or just sees you as a friend. If someone only sees you as a friend, then your friendzoned. Yes some girls use at a shitty excuse to reject a guy and never talk to them again but then you do have girls who have been friends with a guy for so long that they just want to keep it that way cause there's no romantic feelings.
Just one small thing: when the girl just wants a friend and the man wants sex and she won't give him a chance, that is the friend zone. It exists and is clearly defined.
Now you are correct that the friendzone doesn't exist because that's not a real word. It's two words FRIEND space ZONE.
Go back to school for more English lessons young lady.
No, the thing about the friend zone is that the guys are purposefully ACTING, not being, nice to get in someone’s pants.
What you just described is unrequited love. Plain and simple. It hurts, get over it instead of trying to shame women into thinking they’ve done you wrong.
You’re not getting the point, BEING nice is not the same as ACTING nice. Thinking “oh.. will like this, maybe i should do...” is not the same as “i will score points if i do... maybe she’ll fuck me.”
Wrong! The friendzone happens when a guy and girl of the same class (i. e., looks, intelligence, social status, income status, etc.,) get get on together and start communicating intimately. At this point the guy rightfully thinks that he's finally found the right girl and he falls in love with her. However, the girl thinks that she deserves better than to have to settle for this pathetic loser. So, as a result, she puts the guy she knows into her friendzone while still hoping to find her fantasy stud who is way out of her league. This is how decent guys get put into the friendzone, and this is why they get pissed off about it.
Tbh if you have feelings like that towards a girl and have that kind of a mindset, then yes that girl deserves someone better than an asshole like you.
@CubsterShura At 16 years old, you have no clue about how the dating world really works. FYI, the flip side to my argument is that I have also put many girls into my friendzone over the years and for various reasons. I've never said that a person doesn't have the right to choose. I'm just saying that many women hold out for an unrealistic fantasy stud when a decent guy is right there in her social circle. Maybe you should get some life experience before making an ass of yourself again on a public message board.
The feeling is mutual! by the way, you're the one who called me an asshole just for giving you a reasonable explanation of what a friendzone really is. If I wanted to get nasty with you than my last post would not have been so restrained...
Nah I decided to never date until I get married! You think no boy has ever been stuck in a friend zone with me? Nope, many guys did. And I didn't intend any of them to happen. Those who get stuck in such situations are completely responsible for their own actions.
And I'll still call you an asshole. Because knowing about friend zone doesn't require dating a lot. And I'm not interested in dating because the more I date, the more will relationships become insignificant. I don't want that.
@CubsterShura You make no sense! First you say that the friendzone doesn't exist and then you say that many guys have been stuck in your friendzone. So what's the deal here? And than you call me an asshole for just pointing out the obvious truth? I think you have it ass backwards! You're the one who is a total train wreck! I pity the poor slob who marries you and then has to deal with your insane way of reasoning.
Lol that poor slob will never be you so my love life isn't your concern.
Friendzone by definition exists. The misinterpreted version of women taking the advantage of men is all made up in your head. That friendzone that you talked about really doesn't exist and even the myTake writer made it clear.
My reasoning is perfectly fine, yours is too messed up to even understand these matters so you think that mine is as wrong as yours as well.
I said I'm done here but you are still dragging this like an asshole. I'm seriously done here now cause I gave my last word and dragging this further would mean repeating what I said already.
"Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner." Yeah you just explained what the friend zone is. It doesn't matter whether you view it as a positive or negative thing. I just see it as you described it: when someone is rejected because the other person wants to stay friends with him/her. That's not wrong, but the friend zone does exist. I do agree with you on the points where people use the friend zone as an excuse to hate on people or be bitter.
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The friendzone is just a state of mind. Its how one frames their situation. Some people might get down on themselves for being rejected. Others might get excited for making a new friend. Doesn't change the fact that its the same situation, just viewed differently.
I read recently that this happens so often because guys generally don't rely on platonic friendships for emotional support; they rely on romantic relationships for that. That's why we always hear "she wants to USE me for emotional support while she SLEEPS with someone else." Uh no, she's acting like you're her friend!
Anyway, I dunno how true it is but it definitely seems to match up.
guys do rely on platonic friendships for emotional support AFTER WE KNOW THE PERSON FOR A FEW YEARS not people we just fkn met a few weeks or months ago. For anyone to do that regardless of gender is naive.
the only time we rely on women for emotional support and vice versa is in a romantic situation though yeah that's the mistake girls will make. They will rely on a man for emotional support once they've friendzoned him and wonder why it's not there anymore. It's because men reserve that for one women only, if they are good and honest men. You are pretty much correct though this is happening to me right now and I don't know how to tell her "you said you wanted to be friends, you are dating someone else, I cannot be used for these purposes" LOL I'm too nice...
@Goochbreaker But she's not using you. If you agreed to be friends, then it's reasonable for her to expect emotional support to some extent. It's totally understandable if that's too painful for you, and it's okay for you to tell her that, but it's not wrong of her to treat you like a friend if that was the agreement.
As for your other comment, I disagree. Friends can develop quickly. I don't have much experience watching guys' friendships form, but girls can bond within days or weeks. I don't think you have to wait several years before you start sharing personal feelings at all.
friendships can develop quickly but you shouldn't trust someone to handle your emotional baggage if you've just met them. You are clearly a woman responding as you did LOL because no, you girls do not get to use guys for emotional support unless A) you have known them for years and are OLD friends or B) you are dating them or married to them. Those are the options and this is how 99% of guys see it. Maybe less these days with the whole cuck fetish haha
and I worded my shit wrong the first time, I have told her exactly how I feel, multiple times in multiple ways, she just keeps texting me everyday and has serious emotional baggage with her father and stuff it's really heavy
I think the "friend-zone" is just one of those things people bitch about. I know women who bitch about the friend-zone too. I don't think the friend-zone sucks because the person rejected you, I think the friend-zone sucks, because in the majority of cases, it's kind of a cop-out.
In most cases, no one plans to be friends after shit goes down and someone gets their feelings hurt. This is just the rejector being (understandably) cautious, and offering their "friendship" as a pity-present even though they have no intention of actually being the other's friend.
The other person gets upset because they're getting pitied, and they know it (when they should have just said, "That's ok, I have enough friends...", which is what the person offering "friendship" wanted them to do in the first place). But now both of them feel obligated to be friends, even though it's terribly awkward and one wants to fuck the other, because neither could be the grown-up and rip the band-aid off.
In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person.
This can happen to ANYONE (Who the hell cares about gender? This can happen to homosexuals, too. Not only straight people want to find love).
In other words, not wanting to be more than just friends with someone that has feelings for you that are beyond friendship.
If your friends with someone for the only reason of trying to change their mind to make them love you, then you are doing it wrong.
Having friends in a privilege and just because they are not interested doesn't mean they might not know someone that is.
I disagree, This mytake is well written A little heavy on the male bashing.
I love my female friends, i'm all for male/female platonic friendships. I've been friendzoned & I have friendzoned, no one is entitled to anyone or anything. when there's a member of the "friendship" that's suffering because they feel slighted because of unrequited love that's no longer ok.
The friendzone refers to one person rejecting another and simply wanting to be friends. Hence, the friendzone. This post is basically just more femenazi man hate. It'd be nice for you people to talk about real issues instead of spewing crap like this.
helloooo ;)
Not a feminist anymore, and certainly don’t hate men.
The friend zone does exist. The reason guys end up in the friendzone is because they are too chicken to just go up and ask the girl out.
Guys think that being her friend long enough and showing off his "amazing" personality that she will eventually fall for him and want to date him. This is all rooted with men's misguided belief that women value personality more so than physical looks. When the reality is women are just as visual as men.
If men would just be direct and ask a girl out right off the bat rather than hanging around her for months/years, hoping she will warm up to him then the friend zone would never happen.
In addition, if a girl rejects you but you still hold onto the delusion that she will come around and like you at a later date then it is your fault for being taken advantage of.
Time for men to have some accountability for their actions. You are only friendzone if you allow yourself to be friendzoned.
Oh it exists alright , and just steer clear of it coz it never ends correctly and causes massive drama.
If someone breaks up with you , they say " Ohhh , look I just want to be friends " , always tell them .." I hand select my friends , you are no longer one of them " , because it never happens anyhow.
For guys , never be seen as " safe " , and never ever put yourself in a " friend " zone , unless its someone you are not remotely interested in.
That's how men feel.. fact.
Bless. The friendzone doesn't exist guys are just too pathetic to tell girls "hey I wanna date you" and expect us to read their minds and get mad when we don't. And you accuse us of mind games, as fucking if.
Let's face it, the people in the "friendzone" are the ones that are not even technically considered your friend, it's more of an acquaintance zone than a friend zone; the girl or guy in the back that can't stop staring at you weirdly, those are the people in the "friendzone".
@TheUglyMonk Over the years I can name 8 different men I thought were my friends who it turns out only ever wanted to fuck me. When I was 16 I made a friend at my high school, we had common interests so I hung with him a lot and we talked about all kinds of stuff and I liked talking to him because! We were friends! I had thought that anyway. I invited him to my house at some point and he asked why I wouldn't fuck him and I was like "uh, you never said you were interested and im gay?" and he outright said he'd only been talking to me all that time because he wanted to fuck me. That was it. I'd thought he valued my company the way I valued his but nope. After that he was super mean to me the entire year but I changed schools (unrelated, it had been the plan well before this went down) so whatever.
When I was 13 same thing, I was playing card games with a guy in the same activity as me at summer camp one day, we started talking and I thought he was funny and liked hearing his impressions. I would find him during store (our activity break/social hour at night) and we'd talk about the activities we weren't in together or the creepy art on the doors to one of the cabins. At the end of camp he demanded I be his long distance girlfriend and I said I didn't like him like that I had just liked being his friend and I don't understand why that was so bad. He spent like five minutes yelling at me for wasting his time. I'd gone up to him to get his e-mail so we could talk more because, I had thought we were friends, and wanted to keep in contact.
Shut the fuck up with your woe is me bullshit, maybe don't girlfriendzone every woman you meet for your own self-serving shit.
I actually did care about them and it hurt me a lot they only wanted me for some kinda fuck trophy or whatever. Having friends is hardly the highest form of torture imaginable.
Well the last part was unnecessary but eh whatever.
I'll stop saying it when y'all quit acting like I've gone out of my way to slight you for wanting to be a friend.
I don't know why people make things so complicated. Either you are sexually attracted to a person or you aren't. It's kind of like a switch and people just to have to live up to the reality that not everyone is going to find them attractive
yes it does exist, when a man does devellop romantic feelings for a woman and she cannot correspond to it, it happens more commonly with guys that are socially awkward or are just so plain that the first girl to ever give him a slight bit of attention will seeem like the woman of his life, and he is not at fault for thinking so after laking any positive reaction of the opposite sex during life, and to make things worse there is the fucking overvaluing of romantic relationships nowadays that will add to the mix and for sure the socially awkward guy will find himself falling in love in the first positive reaction of approach he even gets, it is the sad truth about it.
No, that’s just called unrequited love.
two terms meaning the same thing, friendzone from male perspective because it doesn´t gurt your way but our way.
Every time I think I catch a glimpse of the dreaded "Friend Zone", it turns out to be something else. Like the Bone Zone or the Love Zone or the I'm-A-Bad-Friend-And-A-Needy-Little-Bitch Zone.
I'm starting to think the Friend Zone doesn't even exist.
I'll say the friend zone is real in the sense of SOME women use men who like her and put them in a box to use when they see fit, and in the meantime will manipulate those men to getting something out of them while they fuck other dudes. That's not the same as the women who simply say no and only be friends.
I beg to differ. It most definitely exists. It is created upon A) rejection B) after a breakup or C) when you are close to a girl in a non-romantic way. Any of us guys (and I think girls too) have been put in the friend zone. It happens and it exists. It's fine for a guy and a girl to be just friends. And that's not a friend zone. However, when any of the examples I first established in the time when romance is in the equation then yes. The friend zone is a thing.
Being friends with someone is the most important part of a healthy relationship. If you don't connect on any level other than attraction then you're just using someone for their vagina or penis. And sex is always better when you have a connection.
Sorry but it exists, just cause you can reject being friends doesn't mean that person hasn't put you there or just sees you as a friend. If someone only sees you as a friend, then your friendzoned. Yes some girls use at a shitty excuse to reject a guy and never talk to them again but then you do have girls who have been friends with a guy for so long that they just want to keep it that way cause there's no romantic feelings.
Lol ok so being nice is bad.
Just one small thing: when the girl just wants a friend and the man wants sex and she won't give him a chance, that is the friend zone. It exists and is clearly defined.
Now you are correct that the friendzone doesn't exist because that's not a real word. It's two words FRIEND space ZONE.
Go back to school for more English lessons young lady.
No, the thing about the friend zone is that the guys are purposefully ACTING, not being, nice to get in someone’s pants.
What you just described is unrequited love. Plain and simple. It hurts, get over it instead of trying to shame women into thinking they’ve done you wrong.
Hello? Unrequited love and the friend zone are the same thing. Haven't you ever heard of slang?
Another English lesson.
As far as being nice goes. EVERY guy tries to be nice to get with a girl. That's what you do. That's not restricted to one context.
You’re not getting the point, BEING nice is not the same as ACTING nice. Thinking “oh.. will like this, maybe i should do...” is not the same as “i will score points if i do... maybe she’ll fuck me.”
If you're offended by the truth it's your own fault.
I refuse to debate with someone if such a low intelligence.
Wrong! The friendzone happens when a guy and girl of the same class (i. e., looks, intelligence, social status, income status, etc.,) get get on together and start communicating intimately. At this point the guy rightfully thinks that he's finally found the right girl and he falls in love with her. However, the girl thinks that she deserves better than to have to settle for this pathetic loser. So, as a result, she puts the guy she knows into her friendzone while still hoping to find her fantasy stud who is way out of her league. This is how decent guys get put into the friendzone, and this is why they get pissed off about it.
You guys love playing the victim!
Tbh if you have feelings like that towards a girl and have that kind of a mindset, then yes that girl deserves someone better than an asshole like you.
@CubsterShura At 16 years old, you have no clue about how the dating world really works. FYI, the flip side to my argument is that I have also put many girls into my friendzone over the years and for various reasons. I've never said that a person doesn't have the right to choose. I'm just saying that many women hold out for an unrealistic fantasy stud when a decent guy is right there in her social circle. Maybe you should get some life experience before making an ass of yourself again on a public message board.
So you’re saying women should settle while also insulting a 16 yo. Yeah, you seem like a real catch.
The feeling is mutual! by the way, you're the one who called me an asshole just for giving you a reasonable explanation of what a friendzone really is. If I wanted to get nasty with you than my last post would not have been so restrained...
Nah I decided to never date until I get married! You think no boy has ever been stuck in a friend zone with me? Nope, many guys did. And I didn't intend any of them to happen. Those who get stuck in such situations are completely responsible for their own actions.
And I'll still call you an asshole. Because knowing about friend zone doesn't require dating a lot. And I'm not interested in dating because the more I date, the more will relationships become insignificant. I don't want that.
@CubsterShura You make no sense! First you say that the friendzone doesn't exist and then you say that many guys have been stuck in your friendzone. So what's the deal here? And than you call me an asshole for just pointing out the obvious truth? I think you have it ass backwards! You're the one who is a total train wreck! I pity the poor slob who marries you and then has to deal with your insane way of reasoning.
Lol that poor slob will never be you so my love life isn't your concern.
Friendzone by definition exists. The misinterpreted version of women taking the advantage of men is all made up in your head. That friendzone that you talked about really doesn't exist and even the myTake writer made it clear.
My reasoning is perfectly fine, yours is too messed up to even understand these matters so you think that mine is as wrong as yours as well.
I said I'm done here but you are still dragging this like an asshole. I'm seriously done here now cause I gave my last word and dragging this further would mean repeating what I said already.
"Someone can like you as a friend, but not as a romantic partner." Yeah you just explained what the friend zone is. It doesn't matter whether you view it as a positive or negative thing. I just see it as you described it: when someone is rejected because the other person wants to stay friends with him/her. That's not wrong, but the friend zone does exist. I do agree with you on the points where people use the friend zone as an excuse to hate on people or be bitter.
I disagree. The “friend-zone”, for lack of a better term IS real. How people deal with it is the problem.