Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

SHY AT THE CLUB

Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

You're Part of a Tribe

Some shy people find it easier to socialize at a club where music is blaring and they can be lost in the crowd. This is a good instinct to have because, in reality, you're all ideally sharing a moment together as strangers who just want to have fun and blow off steam. Thinking that you walk into a club and everyone is staring at you is the opposite of the truth unless you are dressed or are acting outlandishly. In reality, the hardest part of being at the club is getting noticed.

This is an important mindset for shy people to have because they can so easily feel awkward and like everyone is expecting them to "feel it" and start dancing and/or vibing to the music and the stimulation coming at them. It's true that people may notice if you feel awkward but they're not looking for you to perform some great social miracle, but simply join in on the fun.

Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

For Girls, Guys Will Try To Separate You From Your Friends

I'm always shocked to see how many guys have developed maneuvers to get girls alone. I'll be with a group of female friends and one guy in a group will ingratiate himself with me while the others "work the girls." Then one will inevitably try to move the girl elsewhere in the club.

Coming from the side of the approaching guy, the biggest reason men tend to do this at the club is because friends can "cockblock" simply by observing their friend talking to another guy. Many girls won't want to do much more than light conversation while there friends are watching and it's almost impossible to get a make out with them two feet away staring judgementally in their friends direction. Furthermore, girls are jealous and if you look like you're about to make out with her, they will swoop in and all will be lost as they declare that they're intervening to "save" their friend.

The only thing a shy girl really needs to ask herself is if she feels attracted to this guy because he will more than likely pressure her to leave with him to "another club" or "to get food across the street with his friends." If the shy girl is not feeling him she can't give the guy an inch because she probably won't be able to handle the social pressure she's going to have to get with him.

Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

For Guys, You Will Get Rejected Every Single Night You Go Out

Assuming you approach girls in the first place which a lot of guys don't. The reasons are many--it's the start of the night and she can't go home with you because she just started her night with her girls, cockblocks, boyfriend around the corner, you're not her type, she's not drunk enough, she's too drunk, you were too needy, you were too standoffish, you didn't get that she has a "hot bitch" persona and weren't able to handle the attitude, she saw you talking to other girls before her, etc. etc. etc.

Harsh rejections like drinks in the face usually only happen when you're drunk and out of control. This is why a lot of guys who go out constantly learn to either drink very little or don't drink at all. In general, even if you come off as super creepy she will say she has a boyfriend or that she needs to go to the bathroom or that her friends are leaving.

Get used to it and learn to dive in without thinking it through. Your mind will always be nervous because you're a shy person. Don't be Johnny Bravo, learn from your mistakes and don't be that guy just trolling for chicks, but also don't be too scared when moments present themselves which they do all night every night if you are willing to acknowledge them. As a shy person, you will actually need to get rejected MORE than the regular guy to realize it's not so bad and a lot of times it's pretty good. The good news is, as a shy person, just having a good conversation with an attractive girl means a lot more to you than it is to a guy who talks to everyone and is solely focused on getting laid.

Don't Be Jealous

Whether you're a guy or a girl, it's tempting in the club to be jealous. Jealous of the girl who every guy is staring at, jealous of your friends, jealous of the fact that you can't get into the best club on the block and are stuck at the mediocre one or for the guys jealous of your friend's success, jealous of other guys at the club doing better, jealous even of hot women who don't have to even try and run the club while you who's probably a lot smarter than she is are getting destroyed etc.

Advice For Shy People Who Want To Try the Clubbing Life

"lol just had to use a picture entitled "extremely happy Asian guy at the club" twice

As a shy person, the fact that you're at the club is tremendous growth. Your friends will know this even if you aren't the most fun person to club with since you have trouble "letting go." Think this way though--you suck now but you won't suck forever and the only limit to how good you can be at the club is how much you care to take it...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The picture XD love it.
    I've never been to a club, but I want to! Seems like fun, though I can be pretty shy and don't want some creep in my face trying to separate me from the herd like a lion XD

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    • lol hopefully for your sake you're the fattie of the girl group!

    • Nope, 2nd thinnest in my friend group... bruh, I'm getting fit af. Doing that high intensity shit these days B-)

    • Good, bruh. you'll be slayin' at the club! stealin girls boyfriends and shit!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm just not the club type person. Plus the few times I have gone there's always some dude with a napoleon complex who thinks every girl will want to screw him if he knocks the lights out of a guy 6 inches taller than him and as someone who's 6'2 I'm a prime target for those meathead hypermasculine dudes to fight. So I just stay away from the club scene because I don't want to get beat up and if I don't get beat up I'm probably going to jail for beating the crap out of the dude. It's a lose-lose. Those guys are usually too unintelligent to understand that they won't have a good night regardless if they start a fight in a club. I hate crowded places.

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What Girls Said 3

  • These are actually some good tips. Once you realize everyone around you is too drunk to care about what you're doing/saying/wearing, then there's not really anything holding you back from having a good time, especially if you go with friends you like. But it's also important to go with people you can have fun with because you'll need to feed off their vibe and will be bored the whole night if nobody is willing to story having fun. And it's good to drink a little, but not too much because alcohol can help you relax, but it can also cause you to pass out on the sidewalk in front

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  • Yeah this just makes me never want to step foot in a club, my shyness is kinda severe so a club would be a completely stressful setting for me lol

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    • plus i can't dance for shit, so i'd just be standing around in a corner doing nothing

    • -not saying you should go out every night but stressfulness will def go down the more you do it

      -lol most people there can't dance, they mostly just move more or less to the music though not always. the only thing is not feeling awkward or like people are staring at you and judging you which is obv easier said than done when born shy

  • that guy on the first pic is so cute

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What Guys Said 18

  • The shy people would first need to come to terms with their insecurities. The club mentality is "idgaf!" whereas a shy person gives too much of a f, where none is necessary.

    You go clubbing to have fun not compete.

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    • well, for a guy getting girls and having fun are often thought as synonymous (I actually think its true for girls as well to an extent as in they say they don't want to get hit on but if no guy hits on them they feel low and ugly) but yes i agree with you overall the point is to have fun even if you don't meet any girls. the whole point of them is to have people enjoy themselves

  • The good news is, as a shy person, just having a good conversation with an attractive girl means a lot more to you than it is to a guy who talks to everyone and is solely focused on getting laid

    Okay thats just sad, man.
    I just can't see that in a positive way.

    As for me, i go to clubs to drink. And have some fun. Women will come and go, but alcohol is always there, its a lot more fun that way, instead of trying to score all night..

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    • lol, is it though?

    • Yes because i know guys like that. Really wanna score, but talking is already getting them happy. How is that not sad?

  • My first club experience was with my girlfriend at a gay club with a drag queen show. I just had to be picked for audience participation to wear a wig, goofy glasses, and lipstick. Needless to say, it was fun because I was pretending to be someone else. Everyone there didn't have some kind of ego to show off, so they seemed to be whoever they wanted

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    • You had to?
      You couldnt opt out?
      Lol this is why i dont go to gay clubs, id probably say something like "nah im not a fag and get kicked out anyway.

  • And if you drink enough you'll think you had a good time anyway.

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    • True. but i feel like shy people are apt to go too hard or become too dependent overall on alcohol

  • I dunno I find them boring because the people are annoying. The way they act makes me not even want to go talk to them most of the time. Also you basically have to shout to talk to anyone which gets annoying fast.

    It's only worth going if there's a specific DJ/Band that you like who is playing and you're also taking drugs.

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    • Especially the drugs part. Just go to a club and take drugs. That's the only way to make it fun.

  • I'm not shy and I still hate clubs. I'd rather go to a pub where it's more quiet, less crowded but not dead and be able to have a conversation.

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  • You will only find trashy women at clubs. Even if they aren't that trashy... those girls are out there to get the most attractive man they can and that means a bunch of women fighting over the few hotties in the room.

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  • "extremely happy Asian guy at the club" is a fucking awesome picture.

    That is all.

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  • The best advice would be not to go to a club.

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  • I don't drink, so clubbing is never for me.

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  • D (u) ong indeed!

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  • I love that picture of the Asian guy.

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  • Any other subtitue for clubs?

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  • just go out and give it a try , keep in mind most of the people there have had a couple drinks. so its not like they'll be shy too. and its a club , most people don't take what happens in a club seriously. if your rejected by someone its not the end of the world.

    it also takes time to get to know people , after a couple visits you might even know the bartenders by name but at first your just some random

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    • I don't know why but i hate staff people recognizing me at a place. i mean i know with clubs especially its good cuz they look out for you but just makes me feel like i don't explore enough haha

  • I'm not shy anymore as I used to be as a kid/teen, but still I have a hard time approaching girls who are either with another female friend of hers or within a group. I dislike clubs because I'm not into drinking and generally I'm more into Hard Rock from older decades... I don't like being shoved with this Techno shit they play.

    But fuck, even if I do the Daytime game, it's so damn hard to find a girl ALONE, and if she is she'll be wearing her earphones which means she doesn't want to get annoyed. If she doesn't, she'll be waiting for someone.

    I really prey to find a place where girls are ALONE to do my job. But most of them are either with one friend or more.

    As for myself I always play solo. No wingmen and such shit to screw my chances.

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    • do you go to coffee shops or ride public transportation? i find those are the best places to actually strike up a conversation with a stranger outside of events/groups you're a part of. also going out with friends you meet people but i wouldn't consider that the same thing

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    • You can try coming in more innocent --like asking for directions and if they respond well starting up a conversation l. That's funny that you prefer being direct because that works much better at the club

    • Maybe but I explained the two reasons why I don't want to try the club game

      - I'm an anti-drinker
      - I dislike Techno or however this genre they play in clubs is called

  • I can only handle chess club, thanks.

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  • Slept with so many girls without ever stepping into the club, i will never get back into those mad houses, such a waste of money to compete for shitty babes, could pull a 10 right off the streets but good luck talking to her in the club.

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    • if you really can back up your big talk then i applaud you. i do find clubs fun outside the aquistition of 10s though i like how open girls are whereas during the day they just seem very closed off which makes for a more fun time

  • Asian guys went balls deep inside of her in the middle of the night.

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