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A "boring" guy would be perfect for me. I'm a boring girl. 😂
its simple :
women know men are visual and like sex, they show up looking good and sit back waiting to be treated like queens, on one hand they claim they do no want to be viewed as sexual tools but on the other hand they are putting themselves in that place, they are treating themselves like toys and are going to offer their body to the highest bidder... in short they say they dont want men to like them for their body, but they use their body to get stuff.
I'm also a Filipina, but I hate that Filipina girl did to you
Yeah, it was sickening. I'm black.
Dating is a hassle, and not worth the effort. Most guys aren't even bothering anymore, unless they are players. The Sexodus is gaining momentum like the "Grasseaters" of Japan.
www.avoiceformen.com/.../
Whether or not girls have interest in a guy or a guy have interest in a girl.. I have learned through the few years of dating that if both gender have few or more things in common then usually relationship works out and having few opposites and come to compromise then relationship can be worked as well as honesty, respectfulness and communication
this gabriella dinner must have been a real hit to your confidence. damn what a behavior lol.
just the picture is irritating. when one talks and the other is over the phone for a long time i find it very rude. where is your manners man/woman.
what you had with "Gabriela" wasn't a date. it's so obvious that she just wanted to grab something to eat and decided that she wouldn't mind having someone to sit with
Whether or not it was, she made no effort to be social or engage in company. She might as well have just eaten alone.
Why didn't you just leave?
@Crapulux We weren't even there an hour so it kinda fell apart before I had to decide to.
I dont disagree with your tips, but these are honestly all things that happen when that little spark isn't there. sometimes there's chemistry just with a look and I love that. other times you gotta give it a shot. I 100% believe that if you go out with a woman and you believe she needs there tips, she's totally not into you. the attraction wasn't there for her.
You could just as easily apply the same excuse to why women might think guys need to do better at dating, but you wouldn't because you wouldn't see it that way.
As I laid out in the Take, a major issue with dating is because women are too focused on how they think a guy isn't "interesting" or clicking, and not even looking at their own selves. And they like talking about how he wasn't interesting because it gives her an inflated sense of choice or power to reject. That's all it really comes down to for women. Even your own comment still speaks to that fact.
I absolutely do think that the same applies to men as well. if that "click" is there then most people are going to think their date is interesting no matter what they talk about. most people do want that attraction to be there. if a guy doesn't think we click, thats totally fine! I'm willing to wait a little longer so the "click" is mutual. I've had several relationships with the mutual click and they're much better than dating someone I dont really click with. sometimes both parties give it a good shot but the chemistry just isn't there. dont assume that I'm "defending" women because I'm really not. I'm speaking for both genders. I think both men and women are looking for that chemistry and it just can't be forced no matter how hard one tries.
"if a guy doesn't think we click, thats totally fine! I'm willing to wait a little longer so the "click" is mutual."
- This is my point. This is actually how most guys are, what I even said in the Take. You're just an unusual female.
I'm not saying a click should be forced. I'm saying that most women are not willing to give it a chance like I said in the Take. If no click or interest is immediately happening then their ADHD tells them to forget it.
ADHD has nothing to do with "clicking" but okay.. lol
It was figurative.
I'm sure.
This is why you need to spend more time communicating with these women before you decide to meet them. After talking to them for about 2 weeks, you should have an idea of whether they're into you or not based on their patterns of communication. I hate it when people pressure me to meet up with them right away. There was this one guy who kept insisting on meeting up even though I cancelled and never offered to reschedule. I was trying to give him the hint that I wasn't interested, but I agreed to go out with him after he asked again. I thought that my interest level would increase after the date, but I became even less interested. After the date, he kept texting me and I ignored his messages. And he continued texting me until I finally said that I wasn't sure I wanted to meet up again.
The bottom line is that sometimes you can't really expect a woman to verbally tell you that she's not interested because most of us won't. You have to figure that out through her actions.
So men need to read all your non-verbal cues so you can avoid doing the right thing?
So you read the article and completely missed the point? Or feel you're the exception to the rule?
@Entity81 All I'm saying is that you have no control over women's behavior and the dating game is never going to change. So this article was really just a tantrum rant. This article is persuading women to "improve" the dating game by not doing certain things the asker is annoyed with such as meeting up with guys they are not interested in. Asker is dwelling on the fact that he went a date with a woman who wasn't into him at all. Chances are she probably showed him signs of disinterest early on. He just chose to ignore them and probably insisted for her to go on this date. The chick, like most of us are, didn't feel like verbally telling him she was not interested. This is mainly because we just want to avoid angry confrontations. So she did it to get it over with. If he chose to ignore the nonverbal cues, that's his problem. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. If you choose to believe words alone, you're going to be in for a lifelong set of disappointments.
We actually talked for about a week lol.
I don't like to lead men on or use them for free dates. In that one instance I mentioned in my response , I went out on a date with that guy because I truly believed my attraction for him would grow after that date. It never did, so I chose to avoid communication with him afterwards. He was still insisting on meeting up even though I was ignoring his messages. I learned my lesson of not dating guys I'm not physically attracted to. In asker's situation, she may have just been using him for a free date or just wanted to get it over with, perhaps hoping he would get turned off by her rude behavior.
Unfortunately you have no control over other people's actions and asking people to change their behavior of "verbally expressing disinterest" is just a waste of time. The only thing you can do is educate yourself on nonverbal behavior.
@babylips14 "and asking people to change their behavior of "verbally expressing disinterest" is just a waste of time."
- These are all younger females' logical perspectives of handling the situation. Older women don't lack courage like this! Lol. I've had older women tell me up front it's not gonna work or that they're not interested. For all you young chicks you need these excuses to justify yourselves.
Relax dude. It was only an opinion. Older mature men accept things as they are because they've experienced enough to realize that you can't change people. It doesn't take rocket science to know that. Then again, it's just my opinion. Feel free to believe what you want.
@babylips14 It's not about believing what I want it's about what experience has shown me. The vast majority of young females have a thought process like yours. It is what it is BECAUSE you're young and not fully developed yet.
@Anonymous Lol. This isn't about only me, as I said my case with Gabriella was just one situation. This is about what a lot of guys experience.
"Asker is dwelling on the fact that he went a date with a woman who wasn't into him at all. Chances are she probably showed him signs of disinterest early on. He just chose to ignore them and probably insisted for her to go on this date."
- LMFAO! She was actually the one who insisted we go out right away that night, not me! Lol!
"The chick, like most of us are, didn't feel like verbally telling him she was not interested. This is mainly because we just want to avoid angry confrontations. So she did it to get it over with."
- You're looking stupid without even knowing the facts. She invited me, not the other way around.
Your logic is exactly what I'm talking about. Play it off as it being about how disinterested a female is so she doesn't have to realize her own failure. It tells us a lot about you, and probably your own dating habits.
Scientific studies have concluded that females mature much more faster than men do. That's just a fun fact. In addition, my perspectives on this issue has nothing to do with age or development. It's just a fact. Thousands of psychologists have written books on human behavior such as abuse and they all agree on one thing---you can't change the abuser. How is this relevant? It shows that you can't make anyone change their ways.
As far as what you said about younger women having the same viewpoint because we're not "developed" just rememebrAge doesn't determine maturity. Experience does. For that reason, it wouldn't surprise me that you as a 20 or 30 something year old man who thinks he knows everything, would try to attack the opinion owner rather than the opinion. Because you really have nothing to rebut. Just educate yourself and attempt to grow as a person. Part of that includes admitting that you're wrong rather than trying to act like you know everything when in reality, you dont
Calling someone "stupid" for disagreeing with you just makes you look even more dense and childish than what you already are. Most older mature men would agree. It was only speculation because typically women do show signs of disinterest early on in the interaction before the first initial meeting, if they truly are just looking to get a free meal. It's no different than men who do the same exact just to get sex. I wouldn't expect you to understand because again, you're not mature enough to understand.
Men AND women of all age groups do the same exact thing all the time when they're not interested or looking to get something out of someone in the dating game. Some men don't even show up to the date when they're not interested and they're just as old as you are. It's not an age thing, but rather a human trait. Humans are selfish by nature and we want the most benefits without much cost.
@babylips14 First off, my second comment was directed at the Anon, not you. Secondly, I know what all the studies say about men and women and maturity, and they never add up.
You yourself said it, maturity is defined by experience, and my experience has taught me that younger women are still not mature. I even think it's a joke in RL how 20 year-old women think they can tango with a guy like me because I'm older, and they never can, and don't match up. Hell, even women my age and older always tell me how immature your female age group is. Some even advise me to not even bother dating you. Even older men tell me the same things! And that's the real life real talk that's gonna matter much more in the end than your studies and journalistic articles that you believe in to support your argument and make you feel good. The older you get the more you'll learn, because at the end of the day nobody cares about all that statistical stuff.
I'm sure some guys are doing some of those things, but I think it much more often is an action from women, and yes younger ones. All you're doing is trying to justify a dishonest, cowardly behavior because you've done it and will continue to do it. And that's far from mature.
whenever I've acted like "Gabriela" was because I wasn't really interested and probably just wanted to get out without being rude.. I'd rather have the guy find me boring and discourage himself from seeing me again than putting him down and have him ask me why :/ whatever I say will come off as mean or would be a lie
Orrrrr, you could just be a mature adult from the beginning and let him know you're not feeling like a date right now. It makes no good sense at all to just sit there and put yourself through the motions, just so you can talk about how you weren't interested in him.
I bet you never or rarely ask guys out either. If a guy makes the effort to ask you out, the least you can do is give him and honest answer as to why you weren't interested.
I'm not gonna argue with you two, I'm not saying what I do is "right" it's just the easy way for me because when I tried to do things differently I got questions like "why?" "why'd go out with me then?" "but you do like something about me or you wouldn't be here" "how do you know it won't work/we don't click if you don't give it a chance?" "I don't wanna be friends" and stuff like that and some even got upset
I just don't want to deal with that, I'd rather have him find me boring so the blame would be solely on me and I'll be just another Gabriela
Exactly my point. You're too self entitled and therefore think you deserve it easy. Unless you were the one who asked him out and made all the effort (seems unlikely from your attitude), then you at least owe him and honest answer. Feeling a bit uncomfortable for a brief moment is nothing compared to the anxiety and pain he faces from rejection.
"Feeling a bit uncomfortable for a brief moment is nothing compared to the anxiety and pain he faces from rejection." as I understand it he would feel uncomfortable during the date and worse if I reject him face to face, or at least* I* know *I* would
I would rather find my date boring and decide not to go out with him again than have him reject me and question myself "where did I go wrong?" "did he not find me attractive?" "am I that boring/ugly that he decided to end the date?" ... I'd rather bore myself to death and go home thinking "I have to choose better next time"
Honey, that's just stupid logic. It's all an excuse for your own lack of courage. I've met women older than me who could be honest with me when I asked them out and it was still all good between us. Younger women are awkward and don't know how to deal with things. Honesty is better than bullshit any day of the week.
"I've met women older than me who could be honest with me when I asked them out" if I go out with a guy is because I wanted to *eyeroll* if I didn't find him interesting-attractive I politely decline, it's not that I lead them on on purpose duh but on the date I know if I like him or not
if I do I keep the conversation going, ask questions and try to let him talk while I listen politely and comment and share about myself
and if I don't I talk very little, check my phone a lot because I get anxious, pay my half smile politely and say goodbye
In other words: doing the right thing is hard. I don't do things that are hard because i don't want to risk feeling guilty... but i will waste my time trying to justify my cowardice because its easier than pang of guilt
@Entity81 suure if that wording makes you happy
@Entity81 Perfectly put.
last time I tried being honest I made a 32 year old professor cry, I'm so not putting up with that kind of shit again
I'll keep on doing what I do, works for me
LMFAO! A 32 year-old man being into a young thing like you is truly sad.
one of the reasons I turned him down
men don't care much about age I guess, I've also had a 17yo boy crushing on me and he tried to kiss me when he turned 18 :/ he thought that would make things different since I had always said he was too young and he had just "turned into a man" lmao
But you're hardly a woman yourself, especially with your maturity level, and saying he's too young? Lol.
better to be young and not bitter (:
You're right, but you're still going to catch hell for going against the narrative.
Best post I've ever seen ! These things are 100% true unfortunately :/
I've been rejected many times by many guys lOl... I think its more to do with my looks than personality
Nothing about you looks bad. Unless you mean they didn't like you because of your race.
I don't think it was race, some were Indian.
I think looks are very important to men, especially the first date.
I think women aren't being honest when they say looks don't matter in men but they do. For me it's not quite as big a deal as when I was younger.
As long as they look healthy, it's about the connection for me.
I've been rejected many times too for both my looks and my personality
@LittleSunshineGirl sorry :-/
Dont be sorry I used to get depressed about it not anymore there is a guy out there somewhere who will like and love me for me ☺
@LittleSunshineGirl I wish you all the luck :-* :-)
Thank you
My only rule is this: if I'm paying for it we're gonna go to whatever restaurant I want, if she pays for it than we can go to whatever boring snooty restaurant she wants.
it's about looks.
you have to find a girl who is attracted to you.
lots of western men get cosmetic surgery too.
check out realself. com
Lol. Get off the plastic surgery already. I'm not doin' it. It's shallow and disgusting.
I agree with the texting thing, very off putting in my opinion
The best way women can be better at dating isn't to be shallow.
The eternal struggle of finding a woman deeper than a puddle...
it seems the primary skills women need in dating are how to screen and filter guys out, that's it.
Women suck at dating.
There is a hot discussions:)
Lots of good points...