How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

Power is an aphrodisiac for most women, the symbols of which are objects such as sports cars, expensive clothes and smart watches. These can all be hard to come by when you are a young chap so if you don't have access to them you must give girls the impression that you do. Let us suppose that you have arranged to spend a day in town with a lady. Here are a few ideas.

* First, you must dress the part. Make regular trips to a nearby posh town such as Tunbridge Wells, where many fine second-hand items, including almost new linen suits and silk ties, can be picked up from charity shops for a song.

How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

* Two months before your date, write to Buckingham Palace, requesting an audience with the monarch. After a while, a handsome envelope containing a PTD (polite turndown) will arrive bearing the Royal crest. Do not open it.

* The night before your meeting, knock on the door of a house with a garden of beautiful flowers. Tell the little old lady that your mother is dying but that a few of her blooms would cheer her final hours. She will clip you a handsome bunch. Wrap them in fancy paper (cost, about £1)

How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

* On the day of your meeting, post the Royal envelope through your door as you leave, then call into a shop selling expensive gentlemen's toiletries. Try some classy aftershave and then swish out, saying it's annoying your hay fever.

* The car problem is tricky. Taxis cost a fortune and you can hardly cram your girl into a bashed up 2CV behind the Co-op, so insist on taking the air. A short stroll to an elegant (free) art gallery such as the Wallace Collection is the thing. Bone up beforehand, and you can come out with things like: 'Of course, after The Laughing Cavalier, Frans Hals finished up a poverty stricken old man in an almshouse.' It will lend you the air of a connoisseur without costing you a penny.

How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

* If you don't have a flashy watch, don't wear one at all. Should the subject come up, just comment: 'I never wear a watch. As Goethe said, "The present moment is a powerful goddess".' Your erudition will score you points that even a Rolex can't.

* As lunchtime rolls around, say 'It's such a lovely day, why don't we picnic by the river?' The idea will strike your girl as utterly charming. (It will strike you as fantastically cheap compared to a restaurant). As you settle yourself under a willow tree, whip out your piece de resistance: a bottle of French Champagne. This will be one of the two bottles given to you by your auntie when she got back from a Calais supermarket-run - you don't mention this. If you leave it in the freezer until it's about to solidify, it will still be cold at lunchtime. After a glass of Champagne, produce the picnic. This will consist of some home-made pickled eggs, a good lettuce, fresh rocket, and so forth. For pudding you'll find doughnuts cheap and filling; lollipops look great, last ages, and are a snip at 20p each.

How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

* If you manage it properly, 80% of the Champagne should end up inside your lady-friend, so she will probably just want to doze beneath the trees after lunch. That's fine, it's free.

* For the evening's entertainment avoid the cripplingly expensive opera and instead get hold of some free tickets to a funny TV show. After the performance, invite her back to your place for 'supper'.

* Open your door and pick up the royal envelope. As you read the letter, casually remark: 'The Palace want me to give their secret service people some more commando training.' Pasta rapida, (see Google for recipe) is cheap, delicious, looks and smells fantastic, and is impossible to muck up (just don't overcook it). Another bottle of the industrial Champagne will smooth things along nicely.

How To Impress A Girl On A Budget

~ Some 22,000 cheques are deducted from the wrong bank accounts every hour. ~


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Umm... In opinion, you don't impress a girl by throwing money in her face or showcasing her your watch.
    You impress a girl (if you really want something with her of course) actually with your good personality, good attitude, respect, integrity and humor, wow, i know, what a shocker. I don't know where do you get the idea that the idea of an impression is limited to showing off and flaunting your assets (read:money) in her general direction.
    But of course i may be deluded, but also i may not, who am i to judge

    P. S. i am in a relationship for almost a year, which s based od mutual respect, compromise and love.
    Also i don't mean be rude, just my opinion here

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I like this idea, but honestly don't get why his car matters to much. I wouldn't not date a guy because he had a junky car. Infact if he was wealthy but didn't have a flash cards I'd be more impressed. If he poor and has a junky car, I would get where he's coming from.

    Nice idea though

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What Guys Said 24

  • Doing something romantic in front of her GFs/Co-workers (doesn't need to be expensive) has worked the best for me.

    Sending flower/gift to her at work.

    Doing the Richard Gere and picking her up for a surprise date wearing a suit/tuxedo.
    br.web.img2.acsta.net/.../18812979.jpg

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  • Biggest problem with this post is the fact you want guys to impress you. Girls should be trying to impress guys. Guys these days have way more leverage over girls and way more options.

    Bottom line, there's very little girls worth going out of your way to court. Much easier if you're about sex to pick up a slut at a club.

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  • Sorry that sounds like such hard work and I would like a girl just to accept me for what I am, if it doesn't impress so be it.

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    • Why you had so many profiles? :o

    • @es20490446e I dunno I just feel like a fresh start - In a few accounts I felt too well known - I was getting lots of messages with questions and would be called to questions 3/4 times a day (before invites came in) - I felt a bit of pressure to try and be helpful

    • You know, if it isn't a clear "yes" it is a clear "no"!

      Because at least "no" allows to think about it, about how you want to spend your time.

  • It's not really hard to do if you have the skills to do it, you also don't need a expensive looking wardrobe or anything like that either.

    Also a lot of what you say isn't actually even needed, not really.

    Here is a inexpensive tip. If you want to impress a girl, listen to her, remember what she says especially the important things. Use that information.

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  • I'm all for that.. not to expensive but it makes me want spend more quality with my girlfriend. I like that thought a lot.. something like that can still be romantic

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  • Tthe writing to the palace is a stroke of genius!

    Never expected such smarts coming out of Kent... 😜

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  • Ehhh I think ice cream for like 10 bucks would do a better job lol...

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  • Haha get the result for the price of a Greggs. Like taking the kids to the pet shop and telling them it's the zoo

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  • Lol well you must be picky haha so any guys who aren't simps will fuck you and dump you then jump through these hoops

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  • Hint: You can't impress a girl on a budget. She will silently judge you the whole time.

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  • The real secret is to have a nice body and dress well. That will get more attention than anything.

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  • talk to prostitute she is impressed all the time, result is not satisfactory though...

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  • Many girls, in real life, won't appreciate this type of romance unless they are ALREADY a couple.

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  • Step 1

    Have a big cawk

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  • Interesting take

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  • pussy

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  • Le what

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  • Interesting

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  • A few good tips I can use myself thanks. A part 2 would be nice.

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  • Good one,, liked it

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  • This is funny! Thanks!

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  • You can impress a girl with a large penis without money.

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  • Sohow to impress a shallow, gullible woman in a roundabout complicated way...

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What Girls Said 17

  • they DON'T want to attract these kind of women in the first place. not all women are power hungry materialistic gold diggers. wise men will go for wise girls.

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    • if it is all sarcasm thought its fine sarcasm. good writing.

    • Something like sarcasm. It's supposed to be a lark, I mean who is seriously going to do any of these things. You know?

    • Exactly my thoughts. This guide seems to be guiding men to show off the power, that they seem to have but actually don't have and hence are fake. Don't be surprised if the target audiences are power hungry and greedy gold diggers.

  • Any girl who needs all this is not worth the time or the effort you put into this. Some of the best dates I've ever been on were free. All it takes is listing to her. My current boyfriend knew I was history buff so he took me to see the ruins of an old church in our city. We literally just walked around it, and it's still my favourite date we've been on, mainly because of the thought behind it.

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  • Honestly, this may sound odd but... I would like a hike along a lake side trail in the fall.

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  • My husband simply took me out to the park and we played on the swings. Best date eve in my opinion. 😁

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  • Taking her to art museums will also leave a positive impact i believe

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  • I can honestly say none of that would impress me rich fancy guys are not my thing

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  • This made me laugh quite a bit. Nice. 👍

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  • Most women don't need a fancy date, and it seems like a lot of lying.

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  • the author of this trying to hide behind excuses because she's actually a gold-digger

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  • lol now I want a picnic date by the river :/

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  • Omg this was hilarious! Loved it!

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  • I like picnics

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  • Good take.

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  • To be honest this doesn't apply to me. If I am into the guy and we have chemistry he has already impressed me by who he is. My personal perfect date is inside watching a horror movie, pizza, beer and teasing each other.

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  • The title should be "how to attract a gold digger on a budget". 😂

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  • hilarious!

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  • great!

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