1. Be honest with yourself.
Self-awareness is key in the dating world. If you think you may not be able to give anything emotionally, that’s ok! If you are ready to settle down and get serious (no matter what the age) that is okay too! There is no right or wrong answer here. This is all about knowing yourself and what it is you are looking for.
2. Never put them on a pedestal.
Occasionally you come across someone so perfect and so amazing, it feels like a dream. How could you meet someone so perfect for you?! That’s great and all but keep your head out of the clouds. Give that person a chance to prove themselves to you, things may not always be what they appear. And even if (after a few weeks) they are just as impressive as they were on day one, they shit just like you do. Never forget that.
3. Make sure you have led a life worth sharing.
If you want to be successful with Mr. Perfect or Amazing Anna, remember that you should be great too. Doesn’t mean you will have everything together - it just means that you need to have a full life. Have friends, passions, a hobby. Find things and people you enjoy because that’s what makes you interesting. If you are using a person to fill a void, you’re playing yourself. Your relationship will never be true love, only dependency.
4. Never be afraid to walk away.
I don’t care how good she looks or how smart he is. If they start sending red flags, then get out of there! Sometimes you may not recognize a problematic person for what they are until weeks in....I don’t care! Get out get out get out. No they won’t change and no you don’t need to wait it out.
5. Trust your instincts.
Unless you are super paranoid you have to learn that your gut won’t lead you wrong. This is related to number 4 but it deserves its own point. If you think something is off, TRUST YOUR GUT.
6. Your friends matter, more than this person.
Your friends will tell you if the person you like isn’t all that. I’m assuming that you are living your best life and have at least one close friend you trust. Get your friends to check this person out - if they can’t fit in with your friend group, your CLOSEST friends....this may be a problem. Oh and never abandon your friends for a significant other. Bros before hoes and sistahs before misters. Ya heard?
7. Everyone has love advice and everyone is usually wrong.
Stop googling love advice and asking GAG what you should do. Trust your gut. A ton of people will try and make it seem like they have life figured out - they don’t. Love is confusing and sometimes it hurts. But if you trust what feels right, you should be okay.
8. SEX IS IMPORTANT but it’s not the only thing.
Establish early on what you may want and need. If she doesn’t wanna have sex before marriage, figure that out early. If you are super liberal and love sex, try and get an idea of this before a relationship? It will be much easier on you.
9. Don’t expect everyone to play fair.
Love isn’t shit but sometimes it’s the best. But before you get to that point, you gotta get through some people who may not have your best interest at heart. Some people play MASSIVE games and some people are straightforward. And I can write a whole post on this alone. But just know that you can never hate the player, because you usually allow yourself to get played. Don’t assume everyone will be nice and don’t give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. People will try and take advantage. They will try and use you for sex or money. And they will lie. But you have to be better and smarter than them.
10. You will fail more than you will succeed.
Seriously. Love sucks because we all want it and we try so hard to get it right. We usually fail and end up getting our heart broken. But take every rejection and failure as a lesson. Life is about evolution and change - if you stay the same, you stay a loser. Change and grow and watch how much you learn. Eventually you will find the right one and win. But you gotta try first.
These are general viewpoints and considerations. But if you read nothing else, read this: if you love yourself more than you love THEM, you will be okay. The second you put them over YOU, you’re screwed. You aren’t married and you owe them nothing. Nothing. Self-love is the key to getting someone else to love you. It starts with YOU, not them.