A lot of guys scratch their heads when good flirtatious vibes with a girl suddenly come to a screeching halt and we are left clueless as to why she went from really feeling our vibe to being completely repulsed.
We often think that we must have done something like come off as too needy or desperate or, perhaps worse, boring. In a way, I think this is usually true, but the thought detracts from the real reason I believe so many girls just abruptly end flirting with a guy in addition to a generally flighty girl culture that embraces that kind of behavior.
The reason for ghosting is not disgust so much as fear. In some way, the guy has triggered a fear response otherwise known as "fight or flight" and obviously most girls choose flight.
This brings us to a whole new philosophy when it comes to flirting with girls which is to say -- don't scare them! But most guys aren't cat calling women or sexually harassing them so we can conclude that most girls scare easily when it comes to being hit on. And we should also specify by scare away we simply mean to get uncomfortable. They aren't actually afraid you're going to hurt them most of the time. It's just a general discomfort that's hard to explain. So, to get around it a guy needs to simply be aware of it and proceed with caution. This does not mean be weak, but it does mean that being indirect is far more effective in all areas that aren't exclusive visited with the express intention of meeting the opposite gender.
And what exactly about guys trying to hit on them makes a girl so uncomfortable? The fact that she's not as interested in hooking up at this very moment in time. If she were, it would be as simple as being attractive enough but it's not. So, if we assume that during the day the majority of women aren't trolling for dick then we can assume nothing about the way you flirt with a woman should convey you are trying to have sex with her. Doing so will send her heading for the hills. She won't be able to explain it, but she'll just be over talking to you. Further on this point, you want to convey that you aren't intentionally hitting on her and, if you can, you want to convey that you don't do this all the time. And most importantly you want to convey that you mean no harm. It's as simple as that. If you're average in looks then that will be enough to get you a number with 30% of the conversations you start with attractive women. Cockiness and nervousness are two sides of the same coin that convey that you are trying to hit on her and it's actually best to err on the side of being boring and flat.
So don't sweat if you get a lot of flakes. Don't beat yourself up if you flirt with girls often and it always goes nowhere. Consider it from her perspective and be honest about yourself as you review. Are you pushy? Do you make it really obvious that you like her? And also consider the fact that her default is that guys are trying to have sex with her so you're always working against that assumption. The reality is that guys who are very funny, very good looking, and even very rich struggle with approaching strange women and getting numbers that turn into sex and relationships--that's why they feel like they have to use their talents as crutches. But a man needs none of these things. He just needs to know what scares girls off and how not to do them anymore.
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