What Does it Mean to “Fall in Love”? I Don’t Know if I’ll Ever Experience it

What does it mean to “fall in love”? I don’t know if I’ll ever experience the feeling.

Everyone seems to aspire to find someone and fall in love these days. I’ve wanted to at one point in my life too. Now, I don’t think I have the same aspiration/expectation anymore. Out of cynicism? Possibly. I don’t know if I can see myself falling in love with anyone.

To get a bit deeper, I don’t tell anyone I love them. I have a hard time expressing the emotion. I’m not the most affectionate individual. However, I was hoping I’d one day meet someone that would teach me to break out of that habit.

Years down the line, I enter a relationship with the expectation of falling in love. And I thought that was bound to happen if you experience a mutual physical and emotional attraction over time.

I did not fall in love. And let’s be blunt, I doubt meeting someone else will make that happen, considering it happened later in life for me compared to the time frame it happened for other people in my age group.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to feel this or was it simply a bad match? Maybe both. Am I guaranteed to feel it after several other attempts? Sadly no. Do I think I will ever fall in love? No, because I don’t think I’m capable of loving anyone.

This question may pop in your mind after reading this far: do you love yourself? I’m getting there. It has taken years and I’m learning to overcome that prime obstacle. Weirdly enough, I am content with never having sex again.

You all must presume I’m either asexual or homosexual. Let’s hope that I’m neither, I’ve identified with heterosexual for all of these years. Let’s end this myTake with the possibility that I have not found the right person yet (had to make it cliche). I feel so alone in this lack of emotion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stay single, love doesn't exist and people suck.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think it's experiencing something called limerence which is the scientific term for the "feeling of being madly in love." You can read more about it at www.marriageradio.com/.../

    But it's temporary. It can last up to 3 years and then those fireworks and emotional extremes tend to subside. Your relationship is fueled more by commitment and friendship. That's not a bad thing. We need limerence to bring us together and keep us together so that time can build a mature, committed relationship. But when people say that they are in love, I think they are referring to limerence.

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  • It is difficult to describe in words, it is necessary to experience it yourself

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  • Cheers, you're not alone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • yeah i get what you mean. im in the same boat actually. When i was younger i was also looking for someone who would love me and as a i grow older im realizing at my age most people are looking for fun. And I've had a rough batch. Its got to the point where i believe it was hard for anyone to love because we all just liked each other for about 3 months and it just goes away

    so i promised to myself that i could prove to myself that someone could love me for eternity, lol i can't control anyone but me so i decided to love myself forever. its helped me to understand and respect myself, but still care for others.

    and at this point im ok with not having sex either because it complicates things for my feelings, but in the future i would really like to have kids

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