Disclaimer: I'm not bashing my race or men from my race in any type of way I just want to tell you about my experience when it comes to dating within my race, and why I rather date outside my race.
As an educated African American female I decided not to date African American men because of my experience with them. The guys I came across were very disrespectful and some times verbally abusive.
An example of the disrespectful part was when I was talking to this one guy (who is African American) the conversation went really well until I told him that I wanted to attend law school to become an attorney. He told me that since I wanted to become an attorney that means that he does not have to get a job since I will be making a lot of money. I will not allow a grown man to sit around the house while I work , he going to have to get a job too.
Another experience I had was being in an abusive relationship. The relationship I was in was both physically and emotionally abusive. My ex claimed he was a deep Christian but whenever we didn't see eye to eye on something he either hits me or yell at me. Not only he was abusive he was also a cheater. He cheated on me with some girl from a Christian Mingle site. I had more bad experiences with black guy friends but its too long of a story.
However, besides my experience I also have friends who been in relationships with African American men and they are not faithful towards them what so ever. I had friends who had boyfriends who would get mad at them and the first thing they do is call them a bitch or dumb ass hoe (I some black guys who called me a bitch). I believe that just because you get mad at someone or something, take your anger somewhere else instead of calling your significant other out their name. I have went on mini dates with men from other different races such as white, Asian, or Latino and they tend to be more respectful towards me and really liked me for who I am and not for what I am.
For example, I went on a date with one black guy and he kept focusing on my body instead of our conversation which was really annoying. I feel by dating outside my race I feel that I can connect with men more as far as career goals, life goals etc. I'm not saying that all black men are like this and I have no hatred at all towards them. Its just that dating outside my race has always been my preference since high school. Some have asked me if a nice guy within my race asked me to date him and he has a career, is respectful, educated etc would I give him a chance? My answer to this is yes because those are the aspects that I want in a man.
Some women from my race have bashed me for not wanting to date within my race but its just my personal preference to date outside my race. For example, you have black men who don't want to date black women they rather date white women, or white men who don't want to date white women they rather date a black or an Asian female.
To sum this up even though some might say there are always a bad guy out there no matter what his race is I know that but from my experience with men from my own race have been horrible. Tell me in the comments below your dating experience with some one from a different race, or just in general. I hope you enjoyed this article and again this article is not to bash black men and say that they are all like this because that is not true.This is just from my experience dating and friendship wise and why it is a preference to date outside my race.
Most Helpful Opinions
Thank you so much for this! As a black female, I tend to date outside my race as well because black men show no respect or interest in dating me! I have a college degree, have a good job, dress well, and take care of myself, yet black men take no initiative in approaching me or trying to date me. When I try to flirt or talk to them, they snub me. Yet men of other races treat me with respect and want to date me! Now why would I restrict myself to one ethnicity if other men are willing to date me?
The funny thing is, when guys outside my race approach me, then they [black men] suddenly show interest, or get offended that I am "betraying my race" by not dating my own kind. Which I find ironic considering most black men around here are dating white women, yet no one bats an eye! So why can't black women date outside our race as well?
If black men don't want to lose us, how about they act like they're interested in us and treat us with respect? I'm going to date whatever man treats me right, regardless of what race someone is. And if the right guy is Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, whatever, I will date him.
Yes thank you I agree. With some black guys when you show interest in them they would snub you then make jokes about you to their friends, then it gets blown out of proportion and im not down with that. If a black guy who is interested in me and he is college educated, has a career, family orientated etc then I would be more than happy to date him. Other than that because of my experiences I prefer to date outside my race. And I agree a lot of black men gets upset when we date outside our race because they feel that we are betraying them but its okay for them to date white women and no one says nothing about it. Its pretty sad.