Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race

brebre234

Disclaimer: I'm not bashing my race or men from my race in any type of way I just want to tell you about my experience when it comes to dating within my race, and why I rather date outside my race.

As an educated African American female I decided not to date African American men because of my experience with them. The guys I came across were very disrespectful and some times verbally abusive.

An example of the disrespectful part was when I was talking to this one guy (who is African American) the conversation went really well until I told him that I wanted to attend law school to become an attorney. He told me that since I wanted to become an attorney that means that he does not have to get a job since I will be making a lot of money. I will not allow a grown man to sit around the house while I work , he going to have to get a job too.

Another experience I had was being in an abusive relationship. The relationship I was in was both physically and emotionally abusive. My ex claimed he was a deep Christian but whenever we didn't see eye to eye on something he either hits me or yell at me. Not only he was abusive he was also a cheater. He cheated on me with some girl from a Christian Mingle site. I had more bad experiences with black guy friends but its too long of a story.

Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race

However, besides my experience I also have friends who been in relationships with African American men and they are not faithful towards them what so ever. I had friends who had boyfriends who would get mad at them and the first thing they do is call them a bitch or dumb ass hoe (I some black guys who called me a bitch). I believe that just because you get mad at someone or something, take your anger somewhere else instead of calling your significant other out their name. I have went on mini dates with men from other different races such as white, Asian, or Latino and they tend to be more respectful towards me and really liked me for who I am and not for what I am.

For example, I went on a date with one black guy and he kept focusing on my body instead of our conversation which was really annoying. I feel by dating outside my race I feel that I can connect with men more as far as career goals, life goals etc. I'm not saying that all black men are like this and I have no hatred at all towards them. Its just that dating outside my race has always been my preference since high school. Some have asked me if a nice guy within my race asked me to date him and he has a career, is respectful, educated etc would I give him a chance? My answer to this is yes because those are the aspects that I want in a man.

Some women from my race have bashed me for not wanting to date within my race but its just my personal preference to date outside my race. For example, you have black men who don't want to date black women they rather date white women, or white men who don't want to date white women they rather date a black or an Asian female.

To sum this up even though some might say there are always a bad guy out there no matter what his race is I know that but from my experience with men from my own race have been horrible. Tell me in the comments below your dating experience with some one from a different race, or just in general. I hope you enjoyed this article and again this article is not to bash black men and say that they are all like this because that is not true.This is just from my experience dating and friendship wise and why it is a preference to date outside my race.

Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    Thank you so much for this! As a black female, I tend to date outside my race as well because black men show no respect or interest in dating me! I have a college degree, have a good job, dress well, and take care of myself, yet black men take no initiative in approaching me or trying to date me. When I try to flirt or talk to them, they snub me. Yet men of other races treat me with respect and want to date me! Now why would I restrict myself to one ethnicity if other men are willing to date me?

    The funny thing is, when guys outside my race approach me, then they [black men] suddenly show interest, or get offended that I am "betraying my race" by not dating my own kind. Which I find ironic considering most black men around here are dating white women, yet no one bats an eye! So why can't black women date outside our race as well?

    If black men don't want to lose us, how about they act like they're interested in us and treat us with respect? I'm going to date whatever man treats me right, regardless of what race someone is. And if the right guy is Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, whatever, I will date him.
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      Yes thank you I agree. With some black guys when you show interest in them they would snub you then make jokes about you to their friends, then it gets blown out of proportion and im not down with that. If a black guy who is interested in me and he is college educated, has a career, family orientated etc then I would be more than happy to date him. Other than that because of my experiences I prefer to date outside my race. And I agree a lot of black men gets upset when we date outside our race because they feel that we are betraying them but its okay for them to date white women and no one says nothing about it. Its pretty sad.

  • Anonymous
    Good MyTake
    I'm sorry to hear that you've had such bad experiences with guys, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
    It was interesting to read about your perspective, as I have a totally different perspective on black guys and black people, in general.
    As a mixed-Latina-brown girl, I've always felt that white guys have a condescending attitude towards non-white women. They either act like they're doing you a favor for dating you (I've been told that to my face) or fetishize and objectify you or see you as some humanitarian/charity project (Hello world, look how cool I am, I love diversity, my girlfriend is Latina). There's a big power imbalance in the relationship.
    On the contrary, black and Latin people never act like that, they're always respectful and chill and I feel more at ease with them.
    But to each their own
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the Mytake! And that white guy who told you he doing you a favor by dating you. I would of went off on him. That is so disrespectful! I have ran into one objectifying white men too ( he would say things like I love me some chocolate). I have ran into some respectful black and Latino which was amazing. Because a lot of my experience was mostly around disrespectful black men. Which is sad.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I_Can_Help
    Yeah but white guys aren't much better. Look at Trump. He cheated on every wife. But you know, on second thought, Trump isn't white. He's orange! So maybe white guys are the best. Perhaps you and I should make love.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Anonymous
    Have you tried just dating professionals and/or students or law students rather than uneducated thugs? It may not have anything to do with race but rather where you managed to pick up those guys in the past.
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      No I haven't tried. That's because of the environment I'm in rn which is undergrad school. If the right one comes for me in law school then I'll go on a date with them.

    • Anonymous

      Okay, but even if you're in undergrad, you should be able to find a dude who has some professional ambition. Maybe try dating guys who are into doing well and getting a decent job rather than just partying and generally making asses of themselves.

    • brebre234

      Oh I don't like dating on campus. My campus is very small and the guys are all dush. Plus if you date on campus everybody is in your business which is something I dont have time for. Plus I can't date rn because I'm graduating next summer so there is no point. Lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

1518
  • Thatsamazing
    Your race is the human race. So is mine. So is everyone's. Unless you start dating your dog, you're dating within your race.

    People need to stop obsessing over skin color, especially on GaG. It's ridiculous.
    • brebre234

      I think race plays a big role in a lot of things especially in society. My race maybe the human race but to a lot of people its not. Anyway the reason why I decided to talk about this issue is not only I have a preference when it comes to dating but a lot of other people do. Mostly a lot of African American women gets criticized for dating outside their race, meanwhile if an African American male dates outside his race he is basically praised for it.

    • Tyffen

      Good God, that comment was stupid... 🙄😂

    • brebre234

      @Tyffen IKR like read the article before you comment! Lol

    • Show All
  • Xlink
    Latino men beat there woman two lol what are u talking about. You feel this way becuase your a black woman and your own race of men dont want you so you wanna date outside of your race to wash your blackness think it makes you whiter. Stop with the bullshit.
    White men beat there woman and will only fetishize your black ass
    • You pathetic men love trying to break us black women always saying we are not wanted but guess what black women are dating out more than ever...

    • Xlink

      Wtf are u talking about I'm on black woman side. I'm saying her thinking is black men dont want them. She anti-black.
      She on that wave train.

    • No YOU said black men don't want black women... I'm not here to argue with you but you sure as heck don't seem like you're on our side.

    • Show All
  • Badkittymeow1
    Black women we have options of men to choose from... make sure you're inshape and pleasent. Life is a competion we're competing against Asian, white and everything else never forget that!
  • Pink2000
    Honestly as an educated “African American woman” you should know that this is absolutely the wrong platform to talk about your own kind... just cause you’ve had some bad experiences with black men doesn’t mean you won’t have an even worse experience with a white guy... but whatever floats your boat 🤷🏽‍♀️
    • brebre234

      Yes and I realized that. I stated I am aware of bad guys / experiences in each race. And it was my choice just to write a my take about it. I'm not talking about my race in a bad way or putting them down cause not all black men are like this. It's a subject not talked about a lot. You have some black men who expressed their reasons on blogs and on YouTube on why they dont want to date black women ( a lot did it in a disrespectful way) but there are no blogs or videos on why black women dont want to date black men. So I decided to talk about 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • Pink2000

      You like what you like but don’t say nothin when Jim Bob wants to role play and make you his slave 😂...

    • brebre234

      Omg then I'm out that relationship 😂

  • marleyanna2016
    I don’t see why you had to give reasoning why you prefer to date out of your race. If you like to date out of your race then do it. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone.
    • brebre234

      Yes you're right. I just got tired of some people criticizing me for it. Its annoying.

    • I understand but if they criticize you it’s their problem not yours.

    • brebre234

      Yeah true

  • Dinklex3
    Your friends are bashing you because you're assuming all black males act the same.
    That wasn't even an article. That was just you justifying your reason to not date black men.

    My dating experience?
    Been pretty good. I know how to pick and chose people and not blame it on their race.

    • brebre234

      Okay first off I did not bash black men. Bashing them is saying they are all dogs, they are players etc. I'm just talking about my dating experience. I did include in my article that if a good guy who is black is educated have a career and is respectful etc then I would consider dating him. I dont get it. You have black men Expressing their reasons why they dont wanna date black women but they do it in a disrespectful way and nobody says anything. But when a black female Express why they prefer to date outside their race oh we are bashing the race which is bs. And the reason why my friends were bashing me because they dont believe in race mixing. So dont come at me saying that I'm bashing the race when I'm not because that's bs.

    • brebre234

      I also clearly stated that not all black men are the same. So read carefully before you comment.

    • Dinklex3

      @brebre234 Maybe you should take your own advice and read carefully before you comment.
      Never did I say you bashed black men.

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  • RolandCuthbert
    Well, I am "Black" and stuff. And I am all the stereotypes you listed. And I don't like "Black" women dating out and stuff.

    I am going to discourage you from dating out so you can keep being mistreated by "Black" men n'stuff.

    • brebre234

      Wow this shows that you are pathetic and ignorant. I am going to keep dating out cause I don't like men like you disrespecting me. I rather date someone who is respectuful, has an education, knows how to talk properly (Which apparently you dont) etc. Its pretty sad how you like disrespecting black women.

    • Yeah, I am all pathetic and ignorant and stuff. I am all the things you hate in "Black" men. And don't pretend you know anything about culture. Hate me for my race. And for all the things men with dark skin have done to you.

      Don't hate me for culture or for anything I do individually.

      And when you see "Black" guys curse em out because of all the evil things you suffered n'stuff. Because it wasn't your fault for being a victim!

      You date those "White" guys, you will have the greatest time ever! I know I do. I only date "White" women, and they are the greatest! Isn't that awesome, we both have found the loves of our lives. "White" people rock!

      Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race

      I am a handsome man!!!

    • brebre234

      So from what I getting is that your disrespect black women but not white women? That is sick and sad. Also I am not cursing out black men for disrespecting me. Why would I go up to a random black guy and start cursing him out? It makes me look crazy asf. Overall I did not bash black men in any type of way. If a nice respectful, educated, career based African American guy is interested in me and he wants to date, I would definitely give him a chance. And I do not believe all black men are disrespectful. I do have no anger or hatred towards black men at all its just not a preference to date them.

    • Show All
  • Afrochick
    ALL BLACK WOMEN PLEASE READ SOJOURNERS PASSPORT (it's a blog), and follow BREANNA NOUVUEAXX on facebook.

    At this point in my life I see through blaque mayles. They just don't exist in my eyes anymore. Too many terrible statistics that validates our feelings. They bring destruction and struggle everywhere they go, and can't even create a sustainable patriarchy. All races have colonized Africa lmao. The icing on the cake is that they don't even uplift/cherish/pamper their own women.

    "WE was KANGZ" - yeah... okay... The moors let their disgusting lust for white females be the downfall of thier kingdom.

    "I HATE WHITE/NB MEN"... but lemme fuck and mooch off y'alls daughters.

    "WEAVE, WIGS,, MAKEUP blah blah blah."... why not work on building wealth and communities instead of talking about female beauty routines you effeminate buffoons. Asians, jewish, white, arabs love them some nose jobs, lip injections. liposuction... but you don't see their men making video after video, POST AFTER POST, about this shit.

    I could go on... Google is available.

    As a final I don't put ANY man on a pedestal, don't get it twisted my standards will always be decently high.
  • Number39
    Fair enough Black women i've met haven't been the best either most of them usually accuse you of doing something without any proof so I can see what your coming from.
    • brebre234

      Yeah I'm not that type of female 🤣🤣

  • tiabell
    Your preference is based off of your few experiences and he say she say "my friends said that" therefore it's not a preference. You don't need a reason if something is your preference. All black men are not the same
    • tiabell

      I'm all for interracial relationships as long as there is no bashing. You just, in a way bashed and generalized an entire group

    • brebre234

      I clearly said in the article this is not to bash black men and not all black men are not like this. Read carefully before you comment.

    • brebre234

      Bashing is when I say black men are all dogs, all black men are no good, no one should don't date black men etc. Do you see that in my article no. I have no in anywhere shape or form bashed any race in my article. I just basically talked about my experience.

    • Show All
  • 1828avaava1828
    Yeah there you go in your hard way
    Now you're bending fundamental rules of reality
    Can you calm down just for a while
    Are you brave enough just staying on safe ground
    All I say, do what you want to do
  • hellionthesagereborn
    I have noticed that their is that kind of culture in the black community, but I would point out that its a culture (which I'm sure your aware of) and as such once you leave said culture your going to have a different experience. That said I don't understand peoples desire to date exclusively within their own race anyway, it should be based upon how you get along with them (though perhaps I'm the odd one out on that?).
  • DizzyDesii
    Yea some stuff will be messed up but i will forever love my black men first and foremost. My man just so happens to be white but i dont see it as any different from my ex men who were black, Asian, hispanic, mixed, etc. I dont let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. I go for whatever im attracted to
  • alvincasey
    I was wondering recently, why don't black men date black women?
    • Dinklex3

      ?
      They do though 🤔

    • @alvincasey I wonder the same thing. Im lightskin. But I heard people say us black girls are too ugly and ghetto they rather have a white woman but I don't see the difference between us black females and a white chick. That's why I have insecure problems now because I feel like black guys don't want me and they probably regret me for a white girl.

    • brebre234

      @Dinklex3 Therealnatalie Is right. Some black men dont want to date black women because they are too ghetto too ugly etc when that's not true. Black females are known to be strong and dont let people take advantage of them. By dating a white female they are more easy going and dont realize when they are taking advantage of. For example one black guy told me he doesn't want to date a black female cause they say what's on their mind too much. Which is true. But yeah that's from what I heard and seen.

    • Show All
  • sean1234
    Christian beaters? Christian cheater?

    -Not a Christian! Not even close. Couples do argue though.
    • brebre234

      Yes he wasn't a Christian in my eyes at all, he was always very judgmental and acted like he was better that everyone. Then say he was a man of God etc. It was a mess. And I agree couples do argue.

    • sean1234

      I mean people do argue about things. If I saw a person somewhere, perhaps on tv, I might say tattoos are bad, people should not get them, but also give a bible quote that proves its bad. It's ok to judge people, as long as you yourself realize you aren't perfect and don't do those bad deeds yourself you accuse the other person of doing.

    • brebre234

      Yes I agree his judging went to the extreme though since he claimed he was a "Man of God" he always called some one the devil or evil. I thought that this was ridiculous because he can't really judge people because he's not perfect either.

    • Show All
  • MackToday
    White women are in a bad state right now too. Many are disgusting THOTs that make you want to puke. That said, I will never date outside my race, it's genocide, there are good white women and they're worth something. I'll never race mix.
  • sidvt
    Because u found attraction in other races than yours
    • brebre234

      Exactly :)

    • sidvt

      And as u know all about our race it's boring and so other races are attracting u as you are open and broad minded

    • brebre234

      Thank you!

  • ninjafemme
    I could agree that the men from your own race either do it or break it
  • Screenwriter
    Since you haven't met all the young, black males on the planet, don't write them all off. Go to a dating site or meet through friends who know you well. You can date all sorts of men. But find ones you are likely to mesh with. I don't know how you met the ones you dated, but you've stumbled on a bad streak of dating. Men from other ethnic groups may be no better. Sounds like you need a positive combination of a man who knows how to treat a woman and has some career goals and some moral values. Those can be found among any men and there's no guarantee you'll get the right combo by changing ethnicities.
  • Gottabsavagee
    Everyone has their preference and you should follow it if it makes you happy. Don’t care about anyones opinion.

    There’s a possibility also that you had bad luck with these types of guys. Maybe they were similar to each other and you’re attracting a wrong type. I’m sure there are some good black guys out there as well.

    I personally believe you can find good and bad people in every nationality. But again if your preference is foreign then obviously it’s something you should go for. Your heart knows what it wants.

    Ps I have one black American friend and he is very respectful so trust me good guys exist. It’s just hard to find them in any race!

  • Liam_Hayden
    Another benefit: cross-ethnicity breeding produces far fewer birth defects.
  • selfesteemguy
    What do you think about Turkish guys? :P
    • brebre234

      I never really ran into Turkish guys tbh lol. But I could give it a try!

    • Lol I am Turkish but I suck at dating stuffs

    • brebre234

      Awww lol

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  • Good take
  • CURIOUShErE1
    Whatever floats your boat:)
  • zagor
    Whatever works for you.
  • notshyguy1985
    I'm glad to hear
  • Anonymous
    I would never sleep with a negro, that would be beastiality (which is against the bible) :D

    I've heard though that the white guys who go for black chicks do it because they are desperate and black women are very easy to sleep with.
    • brebre234

      That's not true not all black girls are easy to sleep with.

  • Anonymous
    I feel you on this. I date outside my race as well
  • Anonymous
    People should stick to their own race
  • Anonymous
    Nothing wrong with that :)
  • Anonymous
    I actually find it funny af...
    Who will date you then?
    White men rarely find black women attractive. Trust me.. none of my friends like black girls. I remember when I said I found a black girl attractive some time ago a few friends actually laughed at me for saying so.
    • brebre234

      Around my area a lot of white guys date black girls. I actually found a lot of white guys who wanted to date me but I dont think its the right time right now. So I think it depends.

    • Exactly, don't listen to him plenty like us. I'm black and my husband is white..

    • Just be inshape and nice and white guys will worship you.

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  • Anonymous
    Try Nigerian men
  • Anonymous
    So you dated every black men alive to have experienced such? this is generalization beyond lol. If a black were to say this about a black woman, he would get hell on earth.
    • brebre234

      Did you read like the whole the whole thing? Did I say I dated every black male to experience? No I didn't. In fact I did said if a nice guy within my race asked me to date him and he has a career, is respectful, educated etc would I give him a chance? My answer to this is yes because those are the aspects that I want in a man. Plus I did not say all black men is like this. I actually also stated that not all black men are like this. So you can't say im generalizing all black men. And I actually read some articles about black men stating they dont wanna date black women with out bashing them. I just think its a preference.

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