22 d

Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race

Disclaimer: I'm not bashing my race or men from my race in any type of way I just want to tell you about my experience when it comes to dating within my race, and why I rather date outside my race.

As an educated African American female I decided not to date African American men because of my experience with them. The guys I came across were very disrespectful and some times verbally abusive.

An example of the disrespectful part was when I was talking to this one guy (who is African American) the conversation went really well until I told him that I wanted to attend law school to become an attorney. He told me that since I wanted to become an attorney that means that he does not have to get a job since I will be making a lot of money. I will not allow a grown man to sit around the house while I work , he going to have to get a job too.

Another experience I had was being in an abusive relationship. The relationship I was in was both physically and emotionally abusive. My ex claimed he was a deep Christian but whenever we didn't see eye to eye on something he either hits me or yell at me. Not only he was abusive he was also a cheater. He cheated on me with some girl from a Christian Mingle site. I had more bad experiences with black guy friends but its too long of a story.

Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race

However, besides my experience I also have friends who been in relationships with African American men and they are not faithful towards them what so ever. I had friends who had boyfriends who would get mad at them and the first thing they do is call them a bitch or dumb ass hoe (I some black guys who called me a bitch). I believe that just because you get mad at someone or something, take your anger somewhere else instead of calling your significant other out their name. I have went on mini dates with men from other different races such as white, Asian, or Latino and they tend to be more respectful towards me and really liked me for who I am and not for what I am.

For example, I went on a date with one black guy and he kept focusing on my body instead of our conversation which was really annoying. I feel by dating outside my race I feel that I can connect with men more as far as career goals, life goals etc. I'm not saying that all black men are like this and I have no hatred at all towards them. Its just that dating outside my race has always been my preference since high school. Some have asked me if a nice guy within my race asked me to date him and he has a career, is respectful, educated etc would I give him a chance? My answer to this is yes because those are the aspects that I want in a man.

Some women from my race have bashed me for not wanting to date within my race but its just my personal preference to date outside my race. For example, you have black men who don't want to date black women they rather date white women, or white men who don't want to date white women they rather date a black or an Asian female.

To sum this up even though some might say there are always a bad guy out there no matter what his race is I know that but from my experience with men from my own race have been horrible. Tell me in the comments below your dating experience with some one from a different race, or just in general. I hope you enjoyed this article and again this article is not to bash black men and say that they are all like this because that is not true.This is just from my experience dating and friendship wise and why it is a preference to date outside my race.

Why I Prefer to Date Outside My Race
20
17
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much for this! As a black female, I tend to date outside my race as well because black men show no respect or interest in dating me! I have a college degree, have a good job, dress well, and take care of myself, yet black men take no initiative in approaching me or trying to date me. When I try to flirt or talk to them, they snub me. Yet men of other races treat me with respect and want to date me! Now why would I restrict myself to one ethnicity if other men are willing to date me?

    The funny thing is, when guys outside my race approach me, then they [black men] suddenly show interest, or get offended that I am "betraying my race" by not dating my own kind. Which I find ironic considering most black men around here are dating white women, yet no one bats an eye! So why can't black women date outside our race as well?

    If black men don't want to lose us, how about they act like they're interested in us and treat us with respect? I'm going to date whatever man treats me right, regardless of what race someone is. And if the right guy is Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, whatever, I will date him.

    • brebre234

      Yes thank you I agree. With some black guys when you show interest in them they would snub you then make jokes about you to their friends, then it gets blown out of proportion and im not down with that. If a black guy who is interested in me and he is college educated, has a career, family orientated etc then I would be more than happy to date him. Other than that because of my experiences I prefer to date outside my race. And I agree a lot of black men gets upset when we date outside our race because they feel that we are betraying them but its okay for them to date white women and no one says nothing about it. Its pretty sad.

  • Anonymous

    Good MyTake
    I'm sorry to hear that you've had such bad experiences with guys, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
    It was interesting to read about your perspective, as I have a totally different perspective on black guys and black people, in general.
    As a mixed-Latina-brown girl, I've always felt that white guys have a condescending attitude towards non-white women. They either act like they're doing you a favor for dating you (I've been told that to my face) or fetishize and objectify you or see you as some humanitarian/charity project (Hello world, look how cool I am, I love diversity, my girlfriend is Latina). There's a big power imbalance in the relationship.
    On the contrary, black and Latin people never act like that, they're always respectful and chill and I feel more at ease with them.
    But to each their own

    • brebre234

      Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the Mytake! And that white guy who told you he doing you a favor by dating you. I would of went off on him. That is so disrespectful! I have ran into one objectifying white men too ( he would say things like I love me some chocolate). I have ran into some respectful black and Latino which was amazing. Because a lot of my experience was mostly around disrespectful black men. Which is sad.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I_Can_Help

    Yeah but white guys aren't much better. Look at Trump. He cheated on every wife. But you know, on second thought, Trump isn't white. He's orange! So maybe white guys are the best. Perhaps you and I should make love.

  • Anonymous

    Have you tried just dating professionals and/or students or law students rather than uneducated thugs? It may not have anything to do with race but rather where you managed to pick up those guys in the past.

    • brebre234

      No I haven't tried. That's because of the environment I'm in rn which is undergrad school. If the right one comes for me in law school then I'll go on a date with them.

    • Show All
    • Anonymous

      Thanks for most helpful!

    • brebre234

      You're welcome!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

What Girls & Guys Said

1518
  • Thatsamazing

    Your race is the human race. So is mine. So is everyone's. Unless you start dating your dog, you're dating within your race.

    People need to stop obsessing over skin color, especially on GaG. It's ridiculous.

    • brebre234

      I think race plays a big role in a lot of things especially in society. My race maybe the human race but to a lot of people its not. Anyway the reason why I decided to talk about this issue is not only I have a preference when it comes to dating but a lot of other people do. Mostly a lot of African American women gets criticized for dating outside their race, meanwhile if an African American male dates outside his race he is basically praised for it.

    • Show All
    • Tyffen

      Oh well... Some just don't 😂

    • ... I did read the article. And that's why I said what I said.

  • Xlink

    Latino men beat there woman two lol what are u talking about. You feel this way becuase your a black woman and your own race of men dont want you so you wanna date outside of your race to wash your blackness think it makes you whiter. Stop with the bullshit.
    White men beat there woman and will only fetishize your black ass

    • You pathetic men love trying to break us black women always saying we are not wanted but guess what black women are dating out more than ever...

    • Show All
    • Xlink

      Also the anti white comment doesn't work. Becuase white people are seen as the pinnacle of beauty standards.

    • brebre234

      Not any more its now black beauty standards because white people want more of our features such as big boobs big butt, tans etc. Examples of White people who have gotten surgury to have black features: Kim Kardashian, Iggy Azelea, Kylie Jenner and more.

  • Badkittymeow1

    Black women we have options of men to choose from... make sure you're inshape and pleasent. Life is a competion we're competing against Asian, white and everything else never forget that!

  • Pink2000

    Honestly as an educated “African American woman” you should know that this is absolutely the wrong platform to talk about your own kind... just cause you’ve had some bad experiences with black men doesn’t mean you won’t have an even worse experience with a white guy... but whatever floats your boat 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • brebre234

      Yes and I realized that. I stated I am aware of bad guys / experiences in each race. And it was my choice just to write a my take about it. I'm not talking about my race in a bad way or putting them down cause not all black men are like this. It's a subject not talked about a lot. You have some black men who expressed their reasons on blogs and on YouTube on why they dont want to date black women ( a lot did it in a disrespectful way) but there are no blogs or videos on why black women dont want to date black men. So I decided to talk about 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • Pink2000

      You like what you like but don’t say nothin when Jim Bob wants to role play and make you his slave 😂...

    • brebre234

      Omg then I'm out that relationship 😂

  • Dinklex3

    Your friends are bashing you because you're assuming all black males act the same.
    That wasn't even an article. That was just you justifying your reason to not date black men.

    My dating experience?
    Been pretty good. I know how to pick and chose people and not blame it on their race.

    • brebre234

      Okay first off I did not bash black men. Bashing them is saying they are all dogs, they are players etc. I'm just talking about my dating experience. I did include in my article that if a good guy who is black is educated have a career and is respectful etc then I would consider dating him. I dont get it. You have black men Expressing their reasons why they dont wanna date black women but they do it in a disrespectful way and nobody says anything. But when a black female Express why they prefer to date outside their race oh we are bashing the race which is bs. And the reason why my friends were bashing me because they dont believe in race mixing. So dont come at me saying that I'm bashing the race when I'm not because that's bs.

    • Show All
    • Dinklex3

      Nah. Pretty sure you just didn't properly read my comment and got all hyped up.
      Reading between the lines?
      If anything I was saying you were narrow minded.

    • brebre234

      If I miss read your comment I'm sorry. But I'm not narrow minded because I dont believe all black men are like that. If a black guy wanted to date me now and he is nice, educated, has a career and is family oriented I would consider dating him. Other than that I prefer to date outside my race due to my experience.

  • RolandCuthbert

    Well, I am "Black" and stuff. And I am all the stereotypes you listed. And I don't like "Black" women dating out and stuff.

    I am going to discourage you from dating out so you can keep being mistreated by "Black" men n'stuff.

    • brebre234

      Wow this shows that you are pathetic and ignorant. I am going to keep dating out cause I don't like men like you disrespecting me. I rather date someone who is respectuful, has an education, knows how to talk properly (Which apparently you dont) etc. Its pretty sad how you like disrespecting black women.

    • Show All
    • @brebree234 You don't have to respond to me. All you have to do is look at the mirror I held up.

      The Psychology of Men Who Are Racially Black Having to Proclaim Their Refusal to Date "Black" Women ↗

    • Pink2000

      I knew you were

  • Afrochick

    ALL BLACK WOMEN PLEASE READ SOJOURNERS PASSPORT (it's a blog), and follow BREANNA NOUVUEAXX on facebook.

    At this point in my life I see through blaque mayles. They just don't exist in my eyes anymore. Too many terrible statistics that validates our feelings. They bring destruction and struggle everywhere they go, and can't even create a sustainable patriarchy. All races have colonized Africa lmao. The icing on the cake is that they don't even uplift/cherish/pamper their own women.

    "WE was KANGZ" - yeah... okay... The moors let their disgusting lust for white females be the downfall of thier kingdom.

    "I HATE WHITE/NB MEN"... but lemme fuck and mooch off y'alls daughters.

    "WEAVE, WIGS,, MAKEUP blah blah blah."... why not work on building wealth and communities instead of talking about female beauty routines you effeminate buffoons. Asians, jewish, white, arabs love them some nose jobs, lip injections. liposuction... but you don't see their men making video after video, POST AFTER POST, about this shit.

    I could go on... Google is available.

    As a final I don't put ANY man on a pedestal, don't get it twisted my standards will always be decently high.

  • marleyanna2016

    I don’t see why you had to give reasoning why you prefer to date out of your race. If you like to date out of your race then do it. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone.

    • brebre234

      Yes you're right. I just got tired of some people criticizing me for it. Its annoying.

    • I understand but if they criticize you it’s their problem not yours.

    • brebre234

      Yeah true

  • I have noticed that their is that kind of culture in the black community, but I would point out that its a culture (which I'm sure your aware of) and as such once you leave said culture your going to have a different experience. That said I don't understand peoples desire to date exclusively within their own race anyway, it should be based upon how you get along with them (though perhaps I'm the odd one out on that?).

  • DizzyDesii

    Yea some stuff will be messed up but i will forever love my black men first and foremost. My man just so happens to be white but i dont see it as any different from my ex men who were black, Asian, hispanic, mixed, etc. I dont let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. I go for whatever im attracted to

  • 1828avaava1828

    Yeah there you go in your hard way
    Now you're bending fundamental rules of reality
    Can you calm down just for a while
    Are you brave enough just staying on safe ground
    All I say, do what you want to do

  • tiabell

    Your preference is based off of your few experiences and he say she say "my friends said that" therefore it's not a preference. You don't need a reason if something is your preference. All black men are not the same

    • tiabell

      I'm all for interracial relationships as long as there is no bashing. You just, in a way bashed and generalized an entire group

    • Show All
    • brebre234

      Bashing is when I say black men are all dogs, all black men are no good, no one should don't date black men etc. Do you see that in my article no. I have no in anywhere shape or form bashed any race in my article. I just basically talked about my experience.

    • brebre234

      *like

  • Number39

    Fair enough Black women i've met haven't been the best either most of them usually accuse you of doing something without any proof so I can see what your coming from.

    • brebre234

      Yeah I'm not that type of female 🤣🤣

  • alvincasey

    I was wondering recently, why don't black men date black women?

    • Dinklex3

      ?
      They do though 🤔

    • Show All
    • Dinklex3

      @brebre234 Uhm.. No. Having "some" feel that way doesn't mean black men don't date or like women, lol.
      As a slim black female I've had plenty of black men find me attractive (not just physically).

    • brebre234

      @Dinklex3 Yes that's why I said some not all. I had black men find me attractive too. They told me they dont want to date me because I'm too dark. They rather date a mixed race or a white girl. Colorism plays a role.

  • sean1234

    Christian beaters? Christian cheater?

    -Not a Christian! Not even close. Couples do argue though.

    • brebre234

      Yes he wasn't a Christian in my eyes at all, he was always very judgmental and acted like he was better that everyone. Then say he was a man of God etc. It was a mess. And I agree couples do argue.

    • Show All
    • sean1234

      Did you judge him for judging them? "Christian men dont hit women" ?

    • brebre234

      Yes I did and he made an excuse that he can't control his anger.

  • sidvt

    Because u found attraction in other races than yours

    • brebre234

      Exactly :)

    • sidvt

      And as u know all about our race it's boring and so other races are attracting u as you are open and broad minded

    • brebre234

      Thank you!

  • MackToday

    White women are in a bad state right now too. Many are disgusting THOTs that make you want to puke. That said, I will never date outside my race, it's genocide, there are good white women and they're worth something. I'll never race mix.

  • Screenwriter

    Since you haven't met all the young, black males on the planet, don't write them all off. Go to a dating site or meet through friends who know you well. You can date all sorts of men. But find ones you are likely to mesh with. I don't know how you met the ones you dated, but you've stumbled on a bad streak of dating. Men from other ethnic groups may be no better. Sounds like you need a positive combination of a man who knows how to treat a woman and has some career goals and some moral values. Those can be found among any men and there's no guarantee you'll get the right combo by changing ethnicities.

  • ninjafemme

    I could agree that the men from your own race either do it or break it

  • Liam_Hayden

    Another benefit: cross-ethnicity breeding produces far fewer birth defects.

  • Gottabsavagee

    Everyone has their preference and you should follow it if it makes you happy. Don’t care about anyones opinion.

    There’s a possibility also that you had bad luck with these types of guys. Maybe they were similar to each other and you’re attracting a wrong type. I’m sure there are some good black guys out there as well.

    I personally believe you can find good and bad people in every nationality. But again if your preference is foreign then obviously it’s something you should go for. Your heart knows what it wants.

    Ps I have one black American friend and he is very respectful so trust me good guys exist. It’s just hard to find them in any race!

  • Secretgardenblood

    Good take

  • selfesteemguy

    What do you think about Turkish guys? :P

    • brebre234

      I never really ran into Turkish guys tbh lol. But I could give it a try!

    • Show All
    • Amara_

      I seriously don't know i need to feel chemistry

    • @Amara_ Haha, alright then.

  • CURIOUShErE1

    Whatever floats your boat:)

  • zagor

    Whatever works for you.

  • notshyguy1985

    I'm glad to hear

  • Anonymous

    I would never sleep with a negro, that would be beastiality (which is against the bible) :D

    I've heard though that the white guys who go for black chicks do it because they are desperate and black women are very easy to sleep with.

    • brebre234

      That's not true not all black girls are easy to sleep with.

  • Anonymous

    I feel you on this. I date outside my race as well

  • Anonymous

    People should stick to their own race

  • Anonymous

    Nothing wrong with that :)

  • Anonymous

    I actually find it funny af...
    Who will date you then?
    White men rarely find black women attractive. Trust me.. none of my friends like black girls. I remember when I said I found a black girl attractive some time ago a few friends actually laughed at me for saying so.

    • brebre234

      Around my area a lot of white guys date black girls. I actually found a lot of white guys who wanted to date me but I dont think its the right time right now. So I think it depends.

    • Show All
    • Beware of men like this who will try to discourage us from dating out!!!

    • brebre234

      @Badkittymeow1 Yes I am very slim and Petite and I am well aware of this! :) Thanks!

  • Anonymous

    Try Nigerian men

  • Anonymous

    So you dated every black men alive to have experienced such? this is generalization beyond lol. If a black were to say this about a black woman, he would get hell on earth.

    • brebre234

      Did you read like the whole the whole thing? Did I say I dated every black male to experience? No I didn't. In fact I did said if a nice guy within my race asked me to date him and he has a career, is respectful, educated etc would I give him a chance? My answer to this is yes because those are the aspects that I want in a man. Plus I did not say all black men is like this. I actually also stated that not all black men are like this. So you can't say im generalizing all black men. And I actually read some articles about black men stating they dont wanna date black women with out bashing them. I just think its a preference.

Loading...
Loading...