Sure, but only in the way that us men don't have to shill out a bunch of money taking you on expensive dates and buying gifts for every birthday, Christmas, or anniversary.
Both sides get a net gain-sex.
Men are typically more put off by a whore, sure. But that's only because a man-whore is more likely to be charming, physically attractive, accomplished, etc; whereas most women have the potential to be whores.
That's okay as long as we can keep our emotions out of it. But like it says in Josette Sona's free ebook: "Woman to Women", a lot of us women are so in touch with our emotions that we easily fall in love with a person after we've experienced something so intense, so personal, so intimate. Then if the man is just having sex with us (and he's more detached from his emotions), it might continue to be just sex for him but it'll become something more for us. Then we get disappointed/wounded because he doesn't feel the same way about us the way we feel about him = drama, heartache, etc. It's not worth it.
@dianagirl that's completely understandable. controlling what emotions you have isn't usually possible, it happens. it's not always about emotions sometimes it's just hormones and learning to use our heads instead can be a challenge. Rarely do I get emotional over someone I'm just hooking up with casually. I've never gotten so deeply attached to someone that I couldn't let them go when needed. Some people and some women cannot do this. And that's completely ok. Yes I have cried once or twice over things not working out and that's normal. Most of us have liked someone a little more than they have liked us, and the aftermath is hard. But it's definitely not always the case, and the few times it has I have either realized I didn't really like them all that much or I've moved on and let them go because we weren't meant to be. Have I ever regretted the sex, or the time I've spent with someone? Never.
A girl who willingly relinquishes her loins to a man without some kind of commitment is only doing it because she thinks thats what will keep the guy interested in her but the opposite is true. I agree with the OP. Many girls âcatch the feelsâ as a result of a hookup yet the guy got what he wanted so heâs off for a more challenging catch.
You write that as if women are innocent angels... nuns being raped by bandits. Knock it off. For every guy who wants to use a woman thereâs (at least) one woman who wants to use a man.
I was never into âfriends with benefitsâ not everybody is.
I've had the same issue. Usually hos know you won't play their games and treat them with respect. Like i had a ho who was super hot fun great in bed BUT she wanted to get married and have kids. I said no way, marriage isn't for hos and i dont want my kids to have a ho mom. So while she found me sexually attractive for having such standards she also knew no relationship is going to work between us. And i think lots of girls are like this. Skanks feel good when i fuck with them and find me out of their league but they know i judge the fuck out of them and call trash trash so they would never date me.
Ok I see your point but how many guys you see with premium Snapchats or selling nudes everywhere or just trying to get over on somebody in general you can't put it all on guys girls are just as bad if not worse playing perfect but in reality there tricking everywhere I don't care for the hook up bullshit either I want a wife and happily ever after it's hard to take anybody seriously though
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I think you're generally correct, but there will be a minority of super-triggered women who will say, "but, but, but, we're the SAME as guys! If they can have sex like that WHY CAN'T WEEEEEEE!!!"
This girl I know was talking about some dude she went out with and she was like, "he wanted to use me for sex? I'll use you right back, buddy!" It was hilarious! It was as though she though she was "getting" him somehow? I was dumbfounded!
Some are heavily pressured and coerced. Are you overlooking the fact women are lied to in order to be bedded? If youâre in business with someone, and lie to get around one of their conditions, thatâs illegal and a scam.
@VaIiant... No. It isn't. You are not an inanimate object that a guy has control over. If you are, then that means you either aren't a human being or you were raped. Two people having mutual sex does not mean either party "used" the other. A party does not owe the other party something as a result of having sex. That's not logical. At all. If one party is only having sex because they think they're going to get something out of the other person after the fact, *then they are having sex for the wrong fucking reasons, and they can decide to, you know, not do that.* This isn't hard.
@VaIiant Spoken like someone who has lost, because she doesn't have anything else rational to say, so she's going straight to the ad hominems and straw man arguments. Typical. And pathetic. In fact, it's spoken like YOU have "manipulated someone into sex" hon, since you apparently know so much about it.
Iâm a virgin. So there goes your theory. I havenât âlostâđNeither of us will win, since neither of us will agree with the other. Why donât you create a poll?
@VaIiant Because polls don't matter? No, see I'm afraid my "theory" hasn't gone anywhere, since you could very easily be lying. Sorry gal. Yes, I'm also afraid that you have lost, since you've started saying things that are objectively stupid. At least at first, even though you were still wrong, you were staying on topic-- now you aren't. You've lost. You can keep typing all you want; it's not really relevant. Pity.
Talking down to me doesnât make you any better, hon. Letâs get something straight: if someone enters an agreement, as in sex, under the impression theyâre getting something more out of it (a relationship, money, love, commitment) and the other person does not hold up their end of it on purpose, that was manipulative and it was USING someone. If you promise a woman âI will stay with youâ and break up with them after having sex and had no intention of upholding that, you used her.
@VaIiant Um... no. Like, no. No, no, and no. No on all counts. Two people having sex isn't entering into an agreement. Are you insane? It's having sex. It's not a legal contract. What in the holy fuck are you talking about? You are so breathtakingly wrong and irrational that I can't even think of words to adequately describe it. Go ahead and draw up a contract before some guy fucks you, or something, and then... I dunno, start crying? or something? when he walks away and never talks to you again? Nothing you are saying is logical. At all.
Sex is definitely an agreement. If itâs not, itâs rape. Which, as you said, is then using someone as well. You are agreeing to give your body to them- some people have terms for this. Like being in love and whatnot, or being dating ex amount of time.
@VaIiant It's not an agreement akin to anything you're talking about. You're equating it with something like legal contracts. And it's not. Plenty of people have sex who aren't "dating" and aren't in love, besides. Please tell me you're joking. You don't seriously think that ONLY people who are in love have sex with each other, right?
No. Where did I even suggest that? sex is an agreement. Some people want love in exchange, and if the man promises that knowing heâs going to dump her immediately after, she was used.
@VaIiant Yeah... no. It doesn't work that way. Have sex some and hopefully you'll learn something. Or not, and just become a ridiculous, bitter person when you don't get every single thing exactly the way you want to a tee. Up to you. Though it seems like you've already made that choice, sadly.
If someoneâs bitter here, itâs you. All youâve done is be condescending, rude and bitter. I havenât personally attacked you once, but itâs all you can seem to focus on. Petty much?
@VaIiant Um, sorry honey (pats you on the head), YOU were the idiot who was condescending first with "sounds like someone who has manipulated someone into sex," which 1) again, isn't logically possible, not that you understand that-- because you don't, and 2) I haven't done even if it was possible. You threw it out there because you had nothing else to say since you're obviously making an emotional argument rather than a rational one. Don't insult someone and then expect to not be insulted, little girl. If you're being patronized (and you are), it's deservedly so, and that's why.
Did you just... roleplay? Accusing you of manipulating someone into sex is not condescending đ Condescending is speaking down to someone. âLittle girlâ? Youâre like three years older. Youâre 25 and still canât have a decent discussion with someone you disagree with without stooping so low as to berate and insult them. Have a good day- I donât lower myself I talk to stupid fools. Adios
@VaIiant Did you just... babble incoherently? You are a little girl, little girl-- only little girls, as opposed to big ones, say the moronic nonsense that you're saying. And you have no idea how old I am. This is the Internet. I could be twenty-five or I could be sixteen or I could be sixty; it doesn't matter one way or the other.
Historically and biologically speaking, Thatsamazing, women did expect to be provided for and protected as an exchange for sex. Furthermore there was no effective birth control methods, marriage, in almost every culture pre-100 years ago, was a transfer of property from father to husband. These genetic traits that correlate with female and male psychology are still active in both genders and manifest themselves accordingly, in our post modern era this complicates things like relationships, that were never that complicated before modern concepts of intimacy, liberation, bc, equality, welfare, etc.
I wouldn't personally go for a friends with benefits situation but many women actually do enjoy this type of thing and don't want it to turn serious never mind marry him all she wants is the sex.
I had a friends with benefits and it was beneficial to us both. Im selfish af, like i would benefit a guy in any way and not recieve anything in return.
Although you make some good points, stop trying to impose your view on the topic to others. Some women just genuinely like that and not all men are like you describe them here.
Men face no repercussions, its simply fun. Women do, every hookup or friends with benefits makes you less likely in the future to ever get married. Especially to the most attractive men. An 18 year old virgin has her choice, she can get almost any man. A girl that spends 5 years sleeping around casual is far less attractive than the virgin. By a long shot. And to top it off there is a constantly renewed source of new girls who have not yet slept around. Whereas men available to date is a decreasing supply. So yeah, wasting time to sleep around really hurts a girls chances at marriage. Wasting time to sleep around as a man doesn't do anything really.
@bamesjond0069 That is just not so. A lot of girls have slept around a bit and then had a successful relationship. How their looks hold up is probably ultimately more significant than how many times they got boned. Within reason of course.
@zagor sure and a lot of people drunk drive and never get in an accident. The vast majority of divorces happen with experienced women. General divorce rate is about 50% where virgin marriage divorce rate is 4%. I know which i prefer.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
39Opinion
Sure, but only in the way that us men don't have to shill out a bunch of money taking you on expensive dates and buying gifts for every birthday, Christmas, or anniversary.
Both sides get a net gain-sex.
Men are typically more put off by a whore, sure. But that's only because a man-whore is more likely to be charming, physically attractive, accomplished, etc; whereas most women have the potential to be whores.
Well shit maybe he's just a piece of ass to me and I like fucking him. Who'd of thought...
this.
Yasssđđđ
That's okay as long as we can keep our emotions out of it. But like it says in Josette Sona's free ebook: "Woman to Women", a lot of us women are so in touch with our emotions that we easily fall in love with a person after we've experienced something so intense, so personal, so intimate.
Then if the man is just having sex with us (and he's more detached from his emotions), it might continue to be just sex for him but it'll become something more for us.
Then we get disappointed/wounded because he doesn't feel the same way about us the way we feel about him = drama, heartache, etc. It's not worth it.
@dianagirl that's completely understandable. controlling what emotions you have isn't usually possible, it happens. it's not always about emotions sometimes it's just hormones and learning to use our heads instead can be a challenge. Rarely do I get emotional over someone I'm just hooking up with casually. I've never gotten so deeply attached to someone that I couldn't let them go when needed. Some people and some women cannot do this. And that's completely ok. Yes I have cried once or twice over things not working out and that's normal. Most of us have liked someone a little more than they have liked us, and the aftermath is hard. But it's definitely not always the case, and the few times it has I have either realized I didn't really like them all that much or I've moved on and let them go because we weren't meant to be. Have I ever regretted the sex, or the time I've spent with someone? Never.
A girl who willingly relinquishes her loins to a man without some kind of commitment is only doing it because she thinks thats what will keep the guy interested in her but the opposite is true. I agree with the OP. Many girls âcatch the feelsâ as a result of a hookup yet the guy got what he wanted so heâs off for a more challenging catch.
I never had that experience bro đ€Ș
You write that as if women are innocent angels... nuns being raped by bandits. Knock it off. For every guy who wants to use a woman thereâs (at least) one woman who wants to use a man.
I was never into âfriends with benefitsâ not everybody is.
You sound like you're slightly crazy. It takes two to Tango.
Its not just men that use friends with benefits to get sex from women
Women do this to men as well.
Im a prime example of this as women only want sex from me and nothing more. And its Been this way my entire life
I've had the same issue. Usually hos know you won't play their games and treat them with respect. Like i had a ho who was super hot fun great in bed BUT she wanted to get married and have kids. I said no way, marriage isn't for hos and i dont want my kids to have a ho mom. So while she found me sexually attractive for having such standards she also knew no relationship is going to work between us. And i think lots of girls are like this. Skanks feel good when i fuck with them and find me out of their league but they know i judge the fuck out of them and call trash trash so they would never date me.
And it hurts.
Ok I see your point but how many guys you see with premium Snapchats or selling nudes everywhere or just trying to get over on somebody in general you can't put it all on guys girls are just as bad if not worse playing perfect but in reality there tricking everywhere I don't care for the hook up bullshit either I want a wife and happily ever after it's hard to take anybody seriously though
I think you're generally correct, but there will be a minority of super-triggered women who will say, "but, but, but, we're the SAME as guys! If they can have sex like that WHY CAN'T WEEEEEEE!!!"
This girl I know was talking about some dude she went out with and she was like, "he wanted to use me for sex? I'll use you right back, buddy!" It was hilarious! It was as though she though she was "getting" him somehow? I was dumbfounded!
Not necessarily. Some girls like that idea as well and maybe the guy wants more.
You canât always put guys in a bad light. It depends on personality.
No, men are bad, horrible, and the reason everything bad ever happens. How dare you think otherwise.
@zozo7880 you must be joking as you're a man also :D
Yeah I was being sarcastic lol
Yawn. "Using someone for sex" does not exist. Stop saying it. â
Youâve obviously never heard of the men who lie and manipulate women to get sex.
@VaIiant Are those females being raped? Or are they active and willing participants in the sex?
Some are heavily pressured and coerced. Are you overlooking the fact women are lied to in order to be bedded?
If youâre in business with someone, and lie to get around one of their conditions, thatâs illegal and a scam.
@VaIiant... What? Business? What are you talking about?
@VaIiant "Some are heavily pressured and coerced." ... You're essentially saying "saying no is hard." Uhhh... yeah, it probably is sometimes. And?
That is called using someone.
@VaIiant... No. It isn't. You are not an inanimate object that a guy has control over. If you are, then that means you either aren't a human being or you were raped. Two people having mutual sex does not mean either party "used" the other. A party does not owe the other party something as a result of having sex. That's not logical. At all. If one party is only having sex because they think they're going to get something out of the other person after the fact, *then they are having sex for the wrong fucking reasons, and they can decide to, you know, not do that.* This isn't hard.
Spoken like someone whose manipulated women into sex.
@VaIiant Spoken like someone who has lost, because she doesn't have anything else rational to say, so she's going straight to the ad hominems and straw man arguments. Typical. And pathetic.
In fact, it's spoken like YOU have "manipulated someone into sex" hon, since you apparently know so much about it.
Iâm a virgin. So there goes your theory.
I havenât âlostâđNeither of us will win, since neither of us will agree with the other. Why donât you create a poll?
@VaIiant Because polls don't matter? No, see I'm afraid my "theory" hasn't gone anywhere, since you could very easily be lying. Sorry gal. Yes, I'm also afraid that you have lost, since you've started saying things that are objectively stupid. At least at first, even though you were still wrong, you were staying on topic-- now you aren't. You've lost. You can keep typing all you want; it's not really relevant. Pity.
Talking down to me doesnât make you any better, hon. Letâs get something straight: if someone enters an agreement, as in sex, under the impression theyâre getting something more out of it (a relationship, money, love, commitment) and the other person does not hold up their end of it on purpose, that was manipulative and it was USING someone. If you promise a woman âI will stay with youâ and break up with them after having sex and had no intention of upholding that, you used her.
@VaIiant Um... no. Like, no. No, no, and no. No on all counts. Two people having sex isn't entering into an agreement. Are you insane? It's having sex. It's not a legal contract. What in the holy fuck are you talking about? You are so breathtakingly wrong and irrational that I can't even think of words to adequately describe it. Go ahead and draw up a contract before some guy fucks you, or something, and then... I dunno, start crying? or something? when he walks away and never talks to you again? Nothing you are saying is logical. At all.
Sex is definitely an agreement. If itâs not, itâs rape. Which, as you said, is then using someone as well.
You are agreeing to give your body to them- some people have terms for this. Like being in love and whatnot, or being dating ex amount of time.
@VaIiant It's not an agreement akin to anything you're talking about. You're equating it with something like legal contracts. And it's not. Plenty of people have sex who aren't "dating" and aren't in love, besides. Please tell me you're joking. You don't seriously think that ONLY people who are in love have sex with each other, right?
No. Where did I even suggest that? sex is an agreement. Some people want love in exchange, and if the man promises that knowing heâs going to dump her immediately after, she was used.
@VaIiant Yeah... no. It doesn't work that way. Have sex some and hopefully you'll learn something. Or not, and just become a ridiculous, bitter person when you don't get every single thing exactly the way you want to a tee. Up to you. Though it seems like you've already made that choice, sadly.
If someoneâs bitter here, itâs you. All youâve done is be condescending, rude and bitter. I havenât personally attacked you once, but itâs all you can seem to focus on. Petty much?
@VaIiant Um, sorry honey (pats you on the head), YOU were the idiot who was condescending first with "sounds like someone who has manipulated someone into sex," which 1) again, isn't logically possible, not that you understand that-- because you don't, and 2) I haven't done even if it was possible. You threw it out there because you had nothing else to say since you're obviously making an emotional argument rather than a rational one. Don't insult someone and then expect to not be insulted, little girl. If you're being patronized (and you are), it's deservedly so, and that's why.
Did you just... roleplay?
Accusing you of manipulating someone into sex is not condescending đ Condescending is speaking down to someone. âLittle girlâ? Youâre like three years older. Youâre 25 and still canât have a decent discussion with someone you disagree with without stooping so low as to berate and insult them.
Have a good day- I donât lower myself I talk to stupid fools. Adios
I donât lower myself to talk to stupid fools*
@VaIiant Did you just... babble incoherently?
You are a little girl, little girl-- only little girls, as opposed to big ones, say the moronic nonsense that you're saying. And you have no idea how old I am. This is the Internet. I could be twenty-five or I could be sixteen or I could be sixty; it doesn't matter one way or the other.
So, yeah, enjoy losing. Bye.
Historically and biologically speaking, Thatsamazing, women did expect to be provided for and protected as an exchange for sex. Furthermore there was no effective birth control methods, marriage, in almost every culture pre-100 years ago, was a transfer of property from father to husband. These genetic traits that correlate with female and male psychology are still active in both genders and manifest themselves accordingly, in our post modern era this complicates things like relationships, that were never that complicated before modern concepts of intimacy, liberation, bc, equality, welfare, etc.
I wouldn't personally go for a friends with benefits situation but many women actually do enjoy this type of thing and don't want it to turn serious never mind marry him all she wants is the sex.
Curious did you write this because some friends with benefits broke your heart? Or do you really believe this?
I had a friends with benefits and it was beneficial to us both. Im selfish af, like i would benefit a guy in any way and not recieve anything in return.
Yeah right
In general this is true. The women who say otherwise are mostly damaged.
Although you make some good points, stop trying to impose your view on the topic to others. Some women just genuinely like that and not all men are like you describe them here.
It only benefits the men if the women are not enjoying it.
Men face no repercussions, its simply fun. Women do, every hookup or friends with benefits makes you less likely in the future to ever get married. Especially to the most attractive men. An 18 year old virgin has her choice, she can get almost any man. A girl that spends 5 years sleeping around casual is far less attractive than the virgin. By a long shot. And to top it off there is a constantly renewed source of new girls who have not yet slept around. Whereas men available to date is a decreasing supply. So yeah, wasting time to sleep around really hurts a girls chances at marriage. Wasting time to sleep around as a man doesn't do anything really.
@bamesjond0069 That is just not so. A lot of girls have slept around a bit and then had a successful relationship. How their looks hold up is probably ultimately more significant than how many times they got boned. Within reason of course.
@zagor sure and a lot of people drunk drive and never get in an accident. The vast majority of divorces happen with experienced women. General divorce rate is about 50% where virgin marriage divorce rate is 4%. I know which i prefer.
You are making a lot of assumptions here. Primarily, that some women don't sometimes want to take care of their physical needs without commitment.
There is nothing to harmful. It's people choice. Nobody is forcing to do that. So I think everybody has right to live
This right here. Pay attention girls, this is nothing but the truth.
True. Sometimes I just like the easy meet up too. It is up to the 2 involved. I don't judge other people but guys do like it better for sure.